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Showing results for tags 'break-in @ ocns last night'.
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I'm still keyed up on adrenalin as I type this. Around 2:30 this morning I heard a commotion outside my house. Next thing I know, I hear a couple of bangs and the sound of a sliding door opening. I stayed quiet, got out of bed and peered out my bedroom door. Some old dude was IN MY HOUSE! I don't know if he was drunk or what, but I watched him try to stash some boxes under my tree. I figure he must have stolen them from somewhere. It was dark, but I could tell he was overweight, unshaven and wearing red and white pajamas. As quiet as I could so as not to be detected, I grabbed a nearby machete, flung on the light switch, and started swinging that machete like a helicopter. He was no match for my agility and determination to protect the sanctity of my home. By the time he crawled out of here, he had a lot less white and a lot more red showing on his pajamas. So I'm spending Christmas morning cleaning my carpets, fixing my door latch, and waiting for the cops. Just my luck, I guess.
