Chris_Doane

A baby. The other, other white meat.

I thought it would be a plate that said "IKZBYS"

You guys really need to find something else to do with your time.

Such as? BMW Isetta?

Chris, Thanks Chris! -Chris aaand tanks to everyone else not named Chris

Yes. That's what I told him too. BV's own, private Amsterdam.

Well when they show the concept to industry insiders at a preview for NAIAS, one usually assumes that's where it will debut. Not the first time GM has changed their minds last minute.

Avenger production actually started in early December. Seeing uncamo'ed test cars or fast feedback cars being driven by DCX employees is a pretty common sight in Detroit these days.

7000 people trying to cram into a space the size of a high school basketball court? What could go wrong there? Ah yes, it’s NAIAS time again and Im fresh off my 2.5 days in the Pink Army. Here are the thoughts of one rambling spy. The Pink Army? Why don’t I just explain that one right away. The media passes this year were pink. Not just regular pink, mind you. One of my colleagues described them best as "hot pink and sparklicious!" Even Barbie would’ve said “I’m not putting that on!” See for yourself: (Oh and before anyone accuses me of being bias, the little Toyota sticker was to get into the after-hours event to see the FT-HS debut.) The analysts lucked out. They got orange. TV got...well....brown I think. The Pink Army sure seemed larger than last year. Simply getting a line of sight to take photos at the press conferences seemed more challenging than in years past. Speaking of press conferences... Press Conferences It was the year of role reversal. GM’s were good and DCX’s weren’t. In years past GM’s pressers were some of the most boring and painful to be at. Execs droning on and on with ideological talk while everyone in the media is mumbling under their breath to just show the damn car already. Normally Chrysler puts on very theatrical and entertaining reveals. Ah how a year can change things. This year GM has something I’d never seen before in my life. Extreme violin playing. I didn’t even think was even possible! This particular reveal was for the CTS. It started with a 4 piece string group which seemed to fit Cadillac’s image nicely. The quartet finishes, the lights go dark and stage hands start taking the chairs and music stands off the stage. The only things left on stage are two violins sitting on stands. These guys are walking around them on stage like they don't know what to do with them. At this point some in the audience are still fooled. People around me were saying things like “uh-oh that ain’t good.” The lights come up and two guys in corn rows start wailing on violins, shredding half the strings on their bows. One of the coolest things I’ve ever seen at a press conference. Meanwhile, DCX had Bobby Flay. If you don’t know who that is, like half of the people in attendance, he has several cooking shows on TV. It’s appropriate that DCX had a chef on stage, because they laid an egg with this one. For starters, it went on way too long. Secondly, he didn’t really cook anything while having his awkward “conversation” with Tom LaSorda. There was a piece of meat in a frying pan that had already been cooked, so he put it on a plate. There was some ready made salsa, so he put in on plate. Amazing. To really blow us away, they capped it off by frosting a cake. For the press conference on the 2nd day we all got bongo drums. Now the real percussionists on stage were certainly cool, but it also went on way too long. 5-6 minutes would’ve been great. Almost 15 minutes was not. Ugh. How I long for the days of fake blizzards and David Spade. Ford’s were terrible as usual. Nothing but execs spouting horse pucky. No excitement at all. When the new CEO drives into Cobo Arena in a “brand new” Ford 500 and tells you he thinks its an incredible car, you just have to sigh and roll your eyes. However it was funny when Alan Mulally accidentally referred to Lincoln and Mercury as “blands” and not brands. To top it off, Ford makes it very hard to even get into their press conferences. They are held, not in Cobo Hall, but in Cobo Arena. So you have 7,000 people trying to squeeze through 4 or 5 sets of double doors. Then Ford decides they are going to search each bag and check the ID of each person coming in. I saw many, many people take one look at the backup and turn right around and leave. They went over to Michigan Hall early to get a good seat for Toyota’s Tundra reveal. Bold move. The last thing I’ll say about the press conferences involves the execs and all the corporate people. GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! We are here to see the cars, NOT you. I had corporate people in the way, blocking any chance at good photography, so many times this year I almost went postal. I got to the CTS presser 45 minutes early and was standing around on my feet for an hour only to have that massive group of GM employees standing around the car ruin any chance I had of getting a nice photo of the car. Once they say “and now please join us on stage for a closer look at the car,” the media gang bang begins and photographic opportunities dwindle quickly. Sure I could battle the throng to shoot wide angle photos, but if you’re like me, you think cars look pretty bad when photographed with extreme wide angle lenses. Oh well, let’s get onto to the cars before a blood vessel explodes in my forehead. Chevy Volt Concept It’s amazing and disappointing at the same time. Bad news first. It’s disappointing because the technology isn’t there to build it yet. It’s hard to say where GM’s intentions truly are as far as the Volt being more of a PR move or an indication of where GM is actually going. Yes, the execs will tell you it’s not about PR but we know how ANY car maker can say one thing and do another. It’s amazing because....look at it. Man, it’s attractive. A plug in hybrid car that doesn’t look like something from the women’s shoe section. Can you imagine if this was on the market right now going up against the Prius? Lights out, game over. This would smoke the Prius. The concept technology is also amazing. Like you all know by now, it can run on batteries for 40 miles. I can think of a lot of people who often drive 40 miles or less each day. My mother, for example. Even past 40 miles a day, the motor and generator combo that can run on almost any fuel you can think of would be doing an incredibly economical job. Again, more than likely besting the current Prius in real world mileage since the 1.0L motor in the Volt is not actually driving the wheels on the car. In short, it’s great....but....damnit GM, you need this car sooner rather than later. Don’t tease us with stuff that is years away. You’re going to make us wait 3 years from the time you showed the Camaro concept to buy that hot rod. How long for the Volt? Time to lean on those lithium-ion battery engineers a little more. Jaguar C-XF Concept Dear god. To say this car is beautiful doesn’t begin to relay to you how I feel about this automobile. It’s gorgeous. It’s grand. It’s glorious. It’s another “g” word I don’t even know. If I was allowed to pick a “NAIAS concept of the year,” based on exterior design alone, this would get it. I sense you aren’t surprised by that. I can’t remember a concept car in recent history that I’ve gone so head over heels for. Each design element is working so well for me. The mean looking headlights, the sculpted hood, yes, even that square-ish grill! All this from a person who has always liked Aston Martin much more than Jaguar. Now, does it have some Aston Martin in it? Sure. Do I mind? What do you think? I know one of the main criticisms is that it doesn't exactly look like a Jaguar. OK. Stop and look at the current Jaguar S-Type. This is the car that the production XF will be replacing in the near future. Moving away from the current S-Type design can only be considered a good thing. My only worry is...well...Ford PAG. Pleeeeease don’t water this down too much. If for no other reasons than you will break my heart and Jeremy Clarkson will tear you a new one. Cadillac CTS Hype, hype, hype. There has been so much hype around this car during the last year that when the curtain dropped, I was expecting to be blown into the Detroit river by this car. I wasn’t. It’s not that I didn’t like the car, I was just expecting more. I couldn’t tell you exactly what more I was looking for. To be honest, when they revealed the car and all those GM employees were up on the stage obstructing my view as I mentioned earlier, I was livid. I’d left early that morning specifically to get a good spot for this press conference and I’d just come away with zero good photos. In fact once of the media throng attacked the stage, I left the area immediately and went over to cool off at the Mazda lounge. A bagel, some fresh fruit and 15 minutes of muttering under my breath later, I was ready to be civil again. After going back for a few more peeks at the entry luxury sedan throughout the day, it was growing on me. From the grill of the CTS to about the front door handles is incredibly well done. I love all those angles on the front clip. For the most part though, the rest of the car is still only OK to me. The taillights and the chrome accents are certainly very well done on the back, but past those elements, I’m not too excited with the rest of the car. The inside of the CTS is, of course, a really nice place to be. Leaps and bounds better that what we’re used to. Soon after the car was revealed, two Lexus competitive intelligence employees were going over the interior very carefully. For those not familiar, a CI’s job is to keep track of the other OEMs, gathering information on the competition’s current and future products. The CI’s will then use that info within their own company to plan, adapt or improve their own current and future products to keep them up-to-date, or hopefully surpass, the competitors products. So to see two Lexus CI’s immediately jump in a CTS probably tells you a little something. Overall I know I’m in the minority when I think it’s just an OK car. After discussing it with AH-HA later that night over some hard core cola drinking, I think it just came down to all the buzz around the car. It just couldn’t live up to all the hoopla in my mind. Dodge Grand Caravan & Chrysler Town & Country Ah yes, the vehicle that everyone loves to hate. DCX rolled these all new minivans out of what were supposed to be great big bags of white bread. Chrysler’s “bread and butter.” The bags said “vantastic” on the side. Yeeea. Well let’s just state the obvious. These are minivans. They aren’t going to look like a Bugatti Veyron. The look of the new people movers is certainly fresh and certainly boxy. OK so it’s boring on the outside, however, the most important part of a minivan is the inside. Chrysler has done quite well here, with the biggest new feature being Swivel ‘N Go. You get 2nd row captains chairs that can face backwards and you get a table that goes between the 2nd and 3rd row. If you have kids, this has to be looking like a good feature. If for no other reason than when they scream, the sound will travel away from the drivers seat instead of right into dad’s ear. Other cool stuff includes a power stowing 3rd row seat that will please the moms who don't want to wrestle with folding seats while corralling the kids. Side airbags that cover the whole van are also now standard on the vehicle, not optional. These new mini’s certainly get Chrysler back in the ring and fighting anew with their Japanese and Korean competitors. With Ford, and eventually GM, dropping out the segment all together, DCX is probably feeling pretty optimistic. However, it will be interesting to see how minivan buyers react to the new Ford Fairlane when comparing it to a Grand Caravan or Town & Country. Bottom line. If you are in the market for a family truckster, you’ll love them. If you’re not, the very sight of them might make your stomach gurgle. Acura Advance Sports Concept It has a V10 and that’s wonderful. Heaps and heaps of power. It has Acura’s “Super Handling, All-Wheel Drive system and that’s great. Probably handles like it’s on rails. Just one thing though. It’s lame. For the record, I don’t get the Acura ASC. The ASC is the concept car that is supposed to be pointing towards the next generation NSX. While the NSX is certainly one of the coolest cars to come from Japan in the 90’s, this ASC car almost looks like a mediocre interpretation of a Corvette. I didn’t notice that correlation at first, then a colleague mentioned to me. I went back for a second look, and damn, he was right! Comparisons aside, the car really is rather boring. The sheet metal isn’t very sculpted. There isn’t much detail in the car. The front clip isn’t very exciting to look at. How in the world can you have a supercar with a boring front end? It’s sort of like Acura went out and bought a generic super car mold at the last minute because someone told them NAIAS was expecting a supercar concept. The only bright spot I see here is that the ASC shows us a next generation NSX is most likely in the works. Now let’s hope they are busily making lots and lots of refinements. Nissan Bevel Concept & Nissan Rogue I decided to put these two together mostly to get the pain over with as quick as possible. Simply put, the Bevel is a steaming pile of cow dung. Which is good since it has a brownish paint job. What anyone at Nissan was thinking with the Bevel, I have no idea. It appears as if they had 2 extra concept cars sitting around. They cut them both in half, took the front end of one and the back end of the other and glued them together. Then they took a few extra parts from some other old concept cars and glued those on too. The result? Horrible proportions. Horrible design. Horrible car. The Nissan Rogue is Nissan’s attempt to have their own Hyundai Santa Fe. It’s a conservative little SUV that will fill a spot in the Nissan lineup. Im sure it will sell moderately well but there is nothing special about it at all. A nonevent in my mind. If I was giving a letter grade for Nissan’s NAIAS showing it would be a D-. The only reason they don’t flunk completely is because they actually debuted something here. Honda Accord Coupe Concept They call it a concept car, but guess what? The all new Accord will be coming out in 7 or 8 months. So that concept car you see on the stand is more than likely 90-95% of what you’ll see in the showroom this fall. That’s bad news for the competition and here’s why. It’s not a bland, boring, automotive appliance anymore. Someone must’ve ordered a large batch of smelling salts for the Honda design department, because this Accord doesn’t immediately put you to sleep as they have in the past. Yes there are parts that look like the Hyundai Tiburon. Yes the design does have somewhat of a German feel. However, about 98% of the car buying public won’t notice, or mind, either of those things. The biggest complaint I have is the grill. It doesn't look right in its current state. Honda has a grill on there that would look more at home on the next generation Element. This grill is not something you put on a car you are trying to pass off as a sporty coupe and sedan. Of course the sedan is other big question mark. How well will that design translate into four doors? Right now Im having a hard time picturing it, so it’s wait and see for now. The other modest disappointment was that this show car wasn’t actually a working car. It had no interior or powertrain. Should the new Malibu and the Ford Fusion be worried? Probably. The current Accord design is roughly as exciting as watching my grandmother fall asleep in front of the TV. Yet, Honda still sold a boat load of those cars. Now they are going to make one that actually has some style? Uh-oh... Chrysler Nassau Concept Does anyone remember that old Saturday Night Live spoof commercial for “Shimmer”? It went something like; “It’s a dessert topping! No, it’s a floor wax! No, it’s a dessert topping! No, it’s a floor wax! It’s both?!” That’s sort of how I feel about the Nassau. I don’t really know what it’s supposed to be. Sedan? Wagon? CUV? A small thermonuclear device disguised as a car? Moving past which segment it belongs in, let’s ask what Chrysler is trying to tell us with this concept. A peek at the next generation 300? Some other product for the upcoming RWD platform code-named LY? All questions that I don’t have the answers to. Yet. OK since we have no idea what it is, let’s just evaluate the design at face value. The front half of this car is really sleek and really classy. If this were to signal the design of a new 300, I wouldn’t be disappointed at all. Nor would the buying public. Additionally, there is nothing on the front end of this car that couldn't easily be put into production. However the main light clusters would probably need to switch from LED to HID. Moving to the back half, things get a little odd. It’s supposed to be inspired by the European shooting brake style. That’s fine....for Europe. I question how North American buyers would react to a car with rear end styling like this. My guess would be not too well. Personally, I’m not quite sure what to make of it. While it does look better in person, it’s still odd to see a hatchback rear end on a supposed luxury car. Especially one this busy design wise. For now, the Nassau remains a question mark. Much like Tom LaSorda’s future with DCX. Ford Interceptor Concept Holy crap! Bold move doesn’t begin to sum it up. This car oozes masculinity and reeks of intimidation. I get pictures in my head of 40’s and 50’s era gangsters driving this thing. When I saw the Super Chief concept truck last year, it never crossed my mind that the front end from that pickup would work on a car. To quote L.L. Cool J, the front end is “doing it and doing it and doing it well.” If you are lucky, they will rev up the motor while you are at the show. That 5.0L Cammer V8 just roars. If there was ever an exhaust note that perfectly complemented the exterior design of a car, this is it. So will they build it? The blue oval boys aren’t saying. The concept is on a stretched Mustang platform, but don’t look for it to ever show up in production form on that chassis. It’s my feeling that this concept is mostly to blame for the 4 door mustang brew-ha-ha a few weeks ago when it was shown at the private media preview Ford hosted. What’s more likely is that some form of the Interceptor would be built on their Australian RWD platform. If Ford truly wants to answer the Chrysler 300, then a production version of the Interceptor is the solution. Jeep Trailhawk Concept One hell of a mean looking Jeep. Especially in the eyes...er...headlights. Hopefully this concept hints at the direction of an all new Grand Cherokee. A design that could use a little livening up. The Trailhawk also sports a very modern, but not too over the top, interior. One that could probably be put into production, for the most part, if DCX really wanted to. Please Chrysler, if you want to stay competitive, the cheap interiors have to stop. Toyota FT-HS All new Supra anyone? There are strong indications that this concept will indeed see production and hot damn, does it look good. It's so futuristic, yet, not totally unreasonable like the Mazda Ryuga concept. I’m not sure I can say much more than that. Obviously some parts of this car will need toning down. The interior, especially, looks mostly unproducable. I have to admit it’s odd see an OEM produce something so sporty and aggressive looking when they are mostly known for making less than exciting cars like the Camry, Corolla and Prius. With cars like this and the Accord Coupe Concept, Japan may finally be starting to get the message that vanilla designs aren’t OK anymore. However, I’ll wait for the production models to know for sure. Lincoln MKR This certainly wasn't a rebadge of a Ford Fusion. What a looker the MKR is! Of course the grill openings need to be toned down, but past that, what do you change on the exterior? OK, OK, the glass roof in the shape of the Lincoln star isn’t practical either. Moving inside, the interior is so elegant and minimalist. Sadly that part would never make production. The one part of this car we are certain will see the light of day is the twin force motor. A twin turbo V6 putting out 415hp. Zing! While I would love to see something like the MKR in showrooms, I don't think we’ll see it in the near future for Lincoln. However if plans for the Interceptor go forward, MKR’s hopes increase drastically. Volkswagen Sad story here. Once again they had nothing to debut like last year. No press conference at all. The biggest change in their NAIAS approach being that they removed their large presence from the basement. Bummer too, they usually had some of the best food down there. Ford Focus It’s certainly better than the last generation Focus, but still, not too great either. That massive piece of gray plastic that is the prominent feature on the interior? Oh yea, that’s not hot at all. I’m sure I could take the paint off with my fingernail. Look Ford. The answer to several of your problems are sitting over in Europe right now. I know it’s too expensive to just import them, so you’re going to have to adapt them for North America. Do you know how many Focus ST’s you would sell over here? Mazda Ryuga Concept This concept is bat$h! crazy and that’s why I love it. Talk about redefining “gullwing.” The interior is equally as crazy. Looks like it came from some space alien’s weekend ridge racer. The grill on this car may in fact be close to the new family face for Mazda. Ford 500 A normal man would not cancel his Lexus order for this “new” Ford 500. The time honored line of “you can’t polish a turd” comes to mind when you look at this car. A new grill, some side vents and new lights still make this one of the most boring sedans on the market. Oh Ford 427, where have you gone? Chevy Camaro Concept No surprise here really. It’s exactly what everyone thought it would be. Still a great looking car. Too bad it didn’t have a working roof. Mitsubishi Lancer & Mitsubishi Prototype X Concept Wow! The days of that boxy thing they used to call the Lancer are gone. This car is going to do really well for Mitsubishi. What they’ve designed is exactly what I think a buyer in that market is looking for. Go ahead and call it rice if you want to, but Mitsubishi won’t be able to build enough of them. GM better refresh that Cobalt quick. Same story with the Prototype X. It will be a bullseye for buyers in that market. Much like the Accord Coupe, it’s a little silly to call the Prototype X a concept. What you see is very close to what you’ll get. Audi For the press conference debuting the Audi Q7 V12 TDi, I was way near the back of the crowd. A song from Seal started playing and I saw some guy walking out on stage singing. He sort of looked like Seal. Wait a minute.....is that Seal?!? Geez it is. Audi wins the game for most star power during NAIAS. Seal told us he’d just flown in from a ski trip in Aspen, CO and that his daily driver is a Q7. What do you want to bet he’s getting a new one, free of charge, for that one song performance? As for the Q7 with the monster diesel...well what couldn't you do with 738 ft. lbs. of torque. The design of this stump puller is a little out there however. Must’ve been a sale on LED’s and grill insert material. Dodge Avenger, Dodge Magnum and Dodge Viper Funny side note about the Dodge Avenger reveal. Eric Ridenour announces the all new Dodge Avenger and that would normally be when the car drives up on stage. I look over where it’s parked and the hood is up. That’s bad. I see Eric walking off the stage with an “son-of-a-bitch” expression forming across his face. Murmur’s of “uh-oh” can be heard from the area Im standing in. After a little delay and some vamping from the live band, the Avenger roars to life and flies up on stage. I’m guessing a battery cable? Avenger’s design is better than the Sebring, however, that might not be saying much. This is a car that has to compete with the new Malibu and the forthcoming Honda Accord. Both of which already look like they will be better cars. The Magnum SRT is a nice refresh. They managed to make it look even more menacing. Can’t say the same for the regular Magnum however. The average person would be hard pressed to tell they changed anything on the lower models. The interiors on these cars were supposed to be updated, but, I guess DCX forgot to? Adding Mygig and a heated and cooled cup holder does not qualify as a new interior. The Viper gets a new hood and a new 600hp motor. The changes are fairly underwhelming visually, but more than likely overwhelming when you put the pedal to the floor. This refresh doesn’t have to last very long and that’s a good thing. The all new ZC platform Viper will get here in the first quarter of 2009. The Lexus IS-F This one was a big surprise for me. Initially I thought this car wouldn’t do much for me, but it looks incredible. The modest design changes make for a really aggressive look. Sounds like it will be between 400-450hp. The blue paint job they used for the IS-F is also the perfect show car color. Chevy Malibu This was a significant car at the show, but Im not really going to comment on it because I never got a good look at it. From what I did see, however, it looks even better in person. Certainly light years ahead of the one currently on dealer lots. Chang Feng VW leaves the basement and we get the comedic stylings of Chang Feng Motors as a replacement. The only problem is we don’t think they meant to be funny. The people talking at the press conference had such heavy accents that half of what they said couldn’t be understood. The press conference as a whole was also very poorly scripted and executed. As for the cars themselves.....uh.....oh excuse me, I have something on the stove. Anyway, Chang Feng might want to hire a PR firm. Or at least some kid who knows how to use Power Point. Yikes... The Mazda Lounge Thank you Mazda for giving me a quiet, out of the way place to calm my fires of rage each time an exec blocked my view at a reveal. Thank you also for a nice breakfast Monday and Tuesday mornings. I’m sure your wait staff wondered why I always came up there looking like I wanted to murder someone. Oh well, nothing a little watermelon didn’t solve. The Porsche Lounge Your lounge used to be my favorite place to hang out. Great location and great food. You even had free ethernet to plug into. No crappy wireless connections for you. Now you hardly let anyone up there at all. Blah. Your Cayenne refresh sucked by the way. The Firehouse You were cool the first night, but damn did you have to be so loud and packed with people the second night? The Nissan/Infiniti Party had much better food and was in a much nicer, larger venue. Plus the Nissan/Infiniti folks gave us a preview of those two cars we aren’t allowed to talk about.... The Free GM shuttle Booo to you GM for not running the the fleet of DTS and various SUV’s you had last year shuttling people between Cobo and the RenCen. How else was I suppose to go to that get-together that AH-HA’s peeps put on? As it turned out, though a nonverbal cab driver who didn’t know the meaning of easing onto the throttle. Wrap up Somehow, this years NAIAS was lacking a little. Many people talked about the show being so-so for 2007. We didn’t have anything like the excitement of the Camaro vs. Challenger battle this year. There were also more leaks of embargoed photos this year than in years past. For example I’d personally seen photos of the Audi Q7 V12 TDi, Chevy Camaro Vert concept, Chevy Malibu, Chrysler Nassau concept, Chrysler Town & Country, Dodge Grand Caravan, Dodge Magnum R/T, Dodge Magnum SRT8, Dodge Viper, Honda Accord Coupe concept, Jaguar C-XF concept, Jeep Trailhawk concept, Mazda Ryuga concept, Mazda Tribute, Nissan Bevel concept, Nissan Rogue and Toyota FT-HS concept days or weeks ahead of the official debuts. And by god I was trying to get photos of the CTS for several weeks. Heh apologies to a certain website editor in the Buckeye state for asking him almost everyday if he’d seen them yet. If it makes you feel any better I had a several people a day asking me if Id seen them yet too. At the world’s biggest auto show, there will always be automotive bliss like the Jaguar C-XF and Ford Interceptor. There will also be grand disappointments like the Acura ASC or the Ford 500. Occasionally you get cars like the Nissan Bevel. Floating there like a turd in a punch bowl. “Janitorial staff, please report to the Nissan stand. Janitorial staff to the Nissan stand, stat!” --CD *May not be re-published without consent.* © 2007 Chris Doane

(This is a pretty large file so make sure you scroll around to see all of it. Ah yes, once again it is time for everyone's favorite map guide to the NAIAS. Guiding us again this year is none other than NOS. As you can see, he's very excited, so lets not waste any time. Off we go. NOS enters through the Macomb hall doors and is overcome with a massive cloud of new car smell. He immediately passes out. Five minutes later, he wakes up to the bomb sniffing dog licking his face. To his left he sees the Accord Coupe Concept. Skeptical, he walks over. "Hm...it doesn't actually look like a bland turd" he exclaims. It confuses him as he actually finds it somewhat attractive...like that guy in his spanish class. But nevermind that. Moving on, he zips up to the Acura concept. "Acura Corvette?" he wonders aloud. Hearing him, an Acura exec gives him a dirty look so he moves towards the big, pretty, blue Ford area. NOS orbits the Interceptor Concept and he's impressed....perhaps even a little intimidated. Silently he admits the car may be more manly than he is. NOS heads east towards the Mazda display...along the way passing the Ford Airstream concept. The interior of which sort of makes him feel like he's dropped acid recently. He reaches the Mazda Ryuga concept and he digs it. He tells a friend "if you moves those huge doors up and down fast enough I bet it flies like a bird." His friend rolls his eyes and walks on. NOS reaches the Volvo XC60 concept and does a loop-de-loop. He likes it, but then breaks into a bad Sweedish chef impression and a Volvo exec tells him to get lost. NOS giggles. NOS then stops dead in his vintage sneakers from American Eagle. In front of him is the Jaguar C-XF (#1 on your map.) The corner of his mouth trembles a little. A single tear forms in the corner of his eye. A drop of pee comes out. "Dude is there a wet spot on the front of my Hollister jeans which I paid $65.99 for?" he whispers to his bud. His friend rolls his eyes again. NOS is overcome with the C-XF's beauty and has to sit down. Secretly he wishes Cory was here to hold and comfort him. "That doesn't make me gay!" he tells himself. Finally moving on, NOS skips merrily to the Aston Martin display and stops to do a blowfish on the glass wall surrounding the display. He makes his way past Kia and walks around to the Lancers at the Mitsubishi area. He gives the Prototype X a quick dry hump and then moves around the corner. He sees and orange glow and then runs full tilt, knocking over an old woman with a walker and crashing into a stroller with 3 babies in it. It's the Camaro Vert Concept (#2 on your map). He makes two quick circles around the car and then sits down indian style in front of the car for 30 mins. A 10 year old boy scowls at him for being immature. NOS closes his eyes and hums. Believing he has reached his GM nirvana for the day, he gets up only to see the Chevy Volt (#3 on your map.) NOS does a pair of loop-de-loops around the car, all the while making electrical noises under his breath. "Buzzzzz...zaaapp....zzzz..." The 10 year old boy rolls his eyes. Moving through the rest of the GM area he makes his way past the GMT-900s and the the G6 GXP. He throws up a little in his mouth when he sees the GXP. Passing the Enclave he comments that it would "make a sweet shaggin wagon." NOS then reaches the trio of CTS cars "(#4 on your map.) Walking around the various cars he likes what he sees and sets a personal goal of owning one by the time he's 30. If that's not attainable he decides he will settle for a Cobalt with stickers over the dash that make the plastic look like chrome and wood. NOS then sees the Chevy WTCC concept and squeals (#5 on your map.) He loves its so much better than his yellow, large wing'ed Cobalt. You'll notice on the map that he's so excited he feels the need to stand on his head. Security knocks him over and tells him if he does it again they will deport him to Windsor. Moving on he walks towards Maserati, then up to Lexus, then down to Rolls, then back up to Toyota, then back down to Lambo. He sees the Lambo models. He feels something damp in his pants again, but its not pee. NOS' face turns bright red and he makes a mental note to bring extra underwear to next years show. He also makes a mental note to check into that desensitizing cream he heard about. Getting back to the cars, he alternates between the Lexus/Toyota area and the exotics...lamenting that its unfair they don't let you get near to the $400,000 Rolls Drophead. "Geez I just wanna rub my cheek on the leather, whats so bad about that?" Making his way past the tiny cars section of Cobo Hall (Scion & Smart) he decides to head to the DCX section. While checking out the new Viper, he sees the giant waterfall feature and the big fake rocks. As you can see on the map NOS is mesmerized by the waterfall (#6 on your map.) "Dude, they are spelling out $h! in the waterfall" he exclaims to his friend. "How in the name of popped collars do they do that?!" Feeling brave, NOS takes off his shirt and begins dancing in the waterfall. Dr. Z comes over and slaps him across the face with a fine leather glove. Feeling slighted, he finishes up his tour of the DCX area, cruising by the Jeep Trailhawk. He feels afraid to get to close to it because the front of the car looks angry. He hides behind a friend and refuses to look the Trailhawk directly in the headlights. After being made nervous by the Trailhawk, NOS realizes he needs to pee. From the map you will see that he accidentally goes into the womens rest room first. A woman slaps him after she thinks he's a peeping tom. Sadly you will notice on the map that the slap is enough to knock NOS over and lay him out. He remains horizontal on the floor for several moments before going into the mens room. Regaining his composure he heads over to Mini. Inside his head, he's torn because he really does think they are cool cars. However he'd be afraid to actually own one because he thinks it might make him look "ghey." "Man I don't need to give Cory ANOTHER reason," he thinks to himself. Nearing the end of his day he makes his way past the new BMW 3 series convertible. A BMW rep is demonstrating the top and NOS snatches the key FOB from the rep. He makes the top go up and down ten times. A guy named Hans tells NOS he can either give the fob back or be tazered in the genitals. NOS' face goes blank and his shoulders sag. He hands the fob back and walks towards Porsche. Porsche saw what he did over at BMW and tells him to not even think about touching the 911's. "Fine," he shouts...."but my Cobalt SS could beat your 911 with just a few bolt on parts and a bigger wing!" The Porsche reps fall over laughing and have to be helped up. NOS is then nose to nose with the Audi R8 (#7 on your map.) He makes one circle around it and stops. He quivers a little and some foam starts to form at the corners on his mouth. He makes that noise that Homer Simpson makes when he sees pork rinds and beer. The bomb sniffing dog who licked his face earlier then comes up again and bites him in the ass...snapping him out of his German supercar haze. NOS briefly thinks about trying to get a job with a german OEM since they "understand fashion statements like popped collar." Rounding out his day, he stops to look at the Chrysler Nassau. As he walks up, the car is facing directly at him and he enjoys the view. As the car turns and the profile and rear come into view, he's puzzled. His facial expression resembles one of a monkey trying to do a math problem. A sedan? A CUV? A wagon? He cannot figure out what the hell this thing is supposed to be. As he starts to leave, he sees another car he can't figure out. It's the Nissan Bevel concept and it immediately makes NOS physically ill. He almost poops his pants on the spot...which would be appropriate since the Bevel is brown. Never has he seen a car that makes his stomach boil over like he just ate one of each on the diahhrea...er...dollar menu at taco bell. NOS bolts for the Oakland Hall exit to get to a bathroom, but then sees an elevator. "Damn these things are so sweet! I gotta take a least one ride!" So up and down he goes....yelling "wheeeeee" the whole time. NOS makes sure to jump off at the end so as not to be sucked under the steps like his mother taught him when he was 4. Remembering that his lower intestine is about to burst like a pinata due to the Nissan freak show, he runs into the closest bathroom he sees. A shout of "Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....oooooh man" can be heard from outside the bathroom. He then realizes he's in the women's bathroom. Again. "I thought it was odd there were no urinals..." Needing to leave the women's restroom as fast as possible, but still needing to wash his hands, he bolts over to the mens room. He plays with the automatic sink for a few mins. "How does it know?!?!" he wonders. As he walks out of the men's rooms after his day of automotive bliss, he notices an "out of order" sign on the womens room and a janitor with a respirator heading inside. An angry policewoman is walking towards NOS telling him not to move. NOS shrieks and runs out of the building onto Washington Ave. He is hit by a Smart Four Two, but doesn't notice. Later he wondered how that scuff got on his best shoes.

http://info.detnews.com/autosinsider/sneak...ex.cfm?id=22792

Yea I was talking about that with AH-HA last night and I think you're right. There was so, so, so much hype it would be hard to live up to. I guess maybe I was expecting the end all, be all car. It is quite a nice looking car. The Lexus CI's were inside yesterday going over the interior pretty carefully.

Only thing GM debuted today was the Malibu.

I hate to say it, but I think the extreme violinists upstaged the car. At least in person. I dunno I was expecting more on the exterior from the CTS. I dont know what exactly....just more.

Those definitely arent here either. Quite a ways off, especially for the BRX.

Id never seen extreme violin playing until I was at this press conference.

It's definitely not here and Im....well....here.

No.

Well I guess the cat is out of the bag on the one I wasn't going to mention: http://news.windingroad.com/alternative-fu...cept-on-sunday/

Not in Detroit. The H4 now seems to be up in the air as well.

That's a negatory.

Translation into BVspeak: "If you ever need help changing your clothes, don't hesitate to call me."

Hah oh yea....say "hi" this time. Speaking of the Ford intros, isnt it nice how they moved them to late the first day instead of crazy early the 2nd day?

Hahah....I'll pass, thank you.