Well... We figured a way to get it home: Drive it anyways.
Before doing so, we attempted to try a few things like a new thermostat and a new radiator cap. All while its sleeting and the car is sitting in a Sheetz parking lot. In removing the bolts to get at the thermastat, one breaks. Replaced it, hoped the glue would hold to get it home. Refilled it with coolant for the second time. Jump started it, since the Alternator issues have been impossible to diagnose and fix. Went on my way while my dad went to get a water pump since it wasn't as expensive as he thought. Turns out, the new thermostat isn't working, probably due to the hose that holds it is only being held on with one bolt. I keep on driving, having not realized this at the time, while I continue to freeze. As I'm looking in my rear view mirror, I can't help but think there's more than just road spray coming from the back, as I'm leaving a trail thats about 1/4 of a mile long. Call my dad, tell him, he figures I should just keep on driving anyways as its probably spewing coolant for reasons other than overheating... or both. Oh well, I'm not about to stop and freeze my ass off waiting for him anyways. I get home, steam billowing from underneath the hood. Coolant is literally everywhere, with puddles of it collecting in dips of the engine.
Atleast its home. Now.. who wants to come to my Beastworks showing? It involves one Beast, packed full of explosives, and one rather large cliff. It's going to be spectacular!