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Posted (edited)

First, let me preface this be saying that I am an incoming sophmore and have only had a few encounters with girls. (I have friends that are girls, but no one really can see me as someone in a serious relationship).

There's this one girl who I've basically had a crush on for about three years, but have never approached her on the subject. We've been good friends, but that's the thing. We've only been friends. She is all I ever think about and the only person I could see myself with. I try to picture myself with other girls but I just can't. I really, really like her. I'm not sure I'm going to see her next year due differences in course selections. I am not sure what to do. This is my last night home, because I will be going away to overnight camp in NH for seven weeks. I need to know how she feels about me and if she feels the same way I do. I also need to know because, well we all know what happens at overnight camp, and if she did have strong feelings about me, I would not want to hook up with someone else(even though it is just for fun up there.) I am thinking about writing a letter but am not sure if that would be corny. It would be slightly akward if I called her since I don't really ever.

Please help this youngster. Time is slipping away right before my eyes, and before I know, it will be too late.

Edited by corvette_dude729
Guest YellowJacket894
Posted

I hear the echo. By which, I mean, I hear you.

I want to say something other than "I've been down that road" here, but, alas, my muse won't let anything but be said. At a time, I found calling any girl, if she was a friend or just a step above...well, I wouldn't say "awkward"...but just...maybe a little odd.

But, I suppose, the only way to get over that is to, well, do it.

Now, as for making one huge question out of talking to her, I think we all know why. Who wants to be placed on the stage, confident and balls in hand, to just be knocked down feeling alone and confused? No one.

But, if you think it's for the best, talking to her I mean, then, as I said before, do it. I won't suggest what you should do. That is something I had to figure out on my own and I would suggest you do the same.

(Now, if I could only figure out why my last three girlfriends ended up moving...)

Posted

I won't be able to see her until school starts in September, plus we probably won't have anything together next year. It would be very strange to call her since I've only done that a few times since I was invited to a birthday and graduation party of her's. By no means is it awkward to talk to her in school, since we are friends. But it would be weird even just to ask her out on a date. I would really just like to come out and say how I feel, but I don;t know when or how I could do that. I was thinking a letter, but that might be kind of cheesy and might show her that I have no balls, by having to send a letter.

Time is of the essence. I am leaving tommorow at 7 am, so I would really like to hear a few more people's comments. Thanks YJ, for replying.

Guest YellowJacket894
Posted

Vette_D: No problem. I don't know if my "advice" is worth beans, but I handed it out. I do hope you get a little more help on this. It sucks, to say the least, to be placed down the well without a rope to get out with.

Take care. :cheers:

Posted

I understand. I'd write the letter as sincere as you can w/out being pushy. Girls love letters.. so do it. This way she'll know it's sincere too.. you're taking your own worthy time out of the day to write her a letter and a letter is never intruding.

Write the letter.. she'll understand. Hopefully she'll feel the same. Good luck, dude.

Posted (edited)

Thanks a bunch, NOS. Well I'm off to camp tommorow. I'll write the letter up there.

Thanks to both of you for your comments. I just hope things don't become really weird between us.

Edited by corvette_dude729
Posted

Dude, call her.

Girls like it when guys are confident and have balls. If you write her a letter it will show you are weak. Call her and be confident and ask her to hang out with you one-on-one. If you are confident about it she will go for it.

If she doesn't go for it then you can find another girl to crush on. No point just waiting around and thinking what might have been.

Posted (edited)

i think the most ideal combo platter here would be a phone call while you still can, don't spill the beans but hint at 'i'm excited about camp but I am a bit down because I an going to miss seeing you this summer while I am gone' and just kind of leave it sit a few days. then I would chase it with a letter not long after to say 'it was tough for me on the phone to say anything because i wasn't sure of what i was feeling was just me beiing nervous or whatever, but now that i am here i knew i was right and that i think i like you and i was only going to miss you more. i sure miss seeing you and i think about you a lot now that i am gone, and our friendship. I just wanted to say that. even though i am having fun at camp i am looking forward to fall when i get the chance to see you again. Thinking of you as my friend makes me smile. I hope your summer turns out to be everything you want it to be. I guess that's what i really wanted to say on the phone the other night. I sure wish you were here right now! Wow, I wish you could visit!"

or something of that nature.

Edited by regfootball
Posted

Forget the letter or 1-on-1

walk up to her, grab her breast and tell her your bedroom, 6:00 pm tonight..

just kidding..

I know it's already been said once, i've been and am on the exact same road (except my road never seems to end). Now I cant really give you advice how to approach it, because I never did until it was too late.

Think about everything before you do it. Do you think she'd be alienated if she found out? I know my eventual asking didnt make things akward, maybe for the moment it did, but we've had a very long-term and intimate friendship so it didnt make much of a difference.

If she says yes, bingo, your given a chance, if she says no, yeah it's going to hurt, but you'll atleast know. If she says I dont want to ruin the friendship, well the road to any sort of conclusion just lengthened it'self by ten times :lol:.

Do what you must, I dont have any more advice/comments as of yet, but if I think of anything, i'll come back and post something, hopefully before you leave.

Goodluck man! :)

Posted

Oh I remember what I was going to say now..

about the phone.

I know it seems wierd to you calling her, but if your comforatable with talking to her on the phone, you can call her once, and then just keep calling her here and there. It'll eventually become a part of your lifestyle? or whatever you want to call it, routine maybe?

Thats just my 0.02 Canadian

Posted

Dude, grab life by the balls, pick up the phone and call...

just do your best to explain to her that you have feelings

for her other than just friendship, before you know it you

will be 27 (or whatever) and with a baby & girlfriend/wife

and you will SOOOOO regret all those dozens of missed

opportunities, TRUST ME.

Be genuine, be real & don't let yourself get sidetracked.

ASK , worst case scenario things will be a bit awkward for

a while between you two, but at least you will KNOW.

[/panther's_dumb_advice]

Posted (edited)

before you know it you

will be 27 (or whatever) and with a baby & girlfriend/wife

and you will SOOOOO regret all those dozens of missed

opportunities, TRUST ME.

and its not that what you have now is not satisfactory, it's just that when you look back on missed opportunities and you contemplate the good of how they could have turned out, you don't ever want to say what if. You want each personal experience to be amazing, even if a relationship doesn't work out and you move on. One of those, 'I wonder if Connie REALLY DID like me back then, when she was calling me more and more and going out dancing'. The point is to find out, see where it goes and NOT Sit on it and not be left wondering. Or "I wonder if we would have been more than friends if I had slept with her like she begged me to when i took her home from the bar that night, because I sure wanted to be' or the 'I guess I never realized it until now but I think my coworker Jane always liked me as more than a friend. why didn't i ever date her and find out for sure?'. Or, had a I stayed with Naomi in her dorm that last night of school after we kissed the first time, instead of leaving after the kiss, would we have both realized that we WERE more than friends?'

somehow, let her know..or it gets to you and wears you down, wondering. my life, i always waited waited waited too long. You got the chance, bud. It doesn't hurt to put your heart on your sleeve sometimes.

Edited by regfootball
Posted (edited)

Thanks everybody. I'm leaving in a few minutes(5 AM), so unfortunately I will be unable to call her. I will not have a phone at camp, so looks like it's just the letter.

Boy, am I going to miss C&G!!

Edited by corvette_dude729

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