Where's the Beef?

[ocnblu]

Dammit. I just sat here and ate an entire pack of beef jerky. Don't you hate when that happens? 14,000 grams of protein, yes... but 14,001 grams of sodium. I hate salty/savory snacks!

[Flybrian]

So...you usually eat meat this early in the morning?

[ocnblu]

Well, at 6:30, I had a bowl of AllBran with Yogurt bites, skim milk, lite peaches, and Target's delicious Lemon/Ginger drink (no added sweeteners). Then I went out and walked 2.1 miles, so I had a big glass of room temperature spring water. But then I was feeling a bit hungry, so I opened the jerky with the intention of eating the recommended 1 ounce serving and that's when hell broke loose and I became the juggernaut.

[the_yellow_dart]

Just can't stop when you get that meat in your mouth, huh?

...was that too far?

[ocnblu]

"like a yellow dart to my heart..."

[the_yellow_dart]

"like a yellow dart to my heart..."

This attempt to throw me off by hitting on me was rendered less effective by the fact that I have seen much worse. You aren't 6'4" and you don't wear tight pink dresses. Therefore, I'm not so scared. It's like showing your papercut to a 'Nam vet

[ocnblu]

(Tina Louise voice) but I don't want you to be scared, Mr. Dart...

[ocnblu]

You realize I'm only hitting on you because you finally posted a picture of yourself in your avatar, right? You so sexy!

[the_yellow_dart]

(Tina Louise voice)  but I don't want you to be scared, Mr. Dart...

erm... I looked up Tina Louise but that doesn't help me know the voice. I think I'm too young to know who she is.

[ocnblu]

I thought Gilligan's Island was universal and ageless. Damn, does this mean I'm getting olde?

[the_yellow_dart]

Yeah, I didn't watch that much TV as a kid when the classics were on reruns. So I've never seen Gilligan's Island, I dream of jeannie, Magnum PI, Happy Days or anything like that. I think the only old TV shows I've seen are Honeymooners, MASH, Knight Rider and MacGyver.

[ocnblu]

Oh. Well, Tina Louise talks like Marilyn Monroe, with that high, breathless, affected voice. It would sound totally creepy coming out of my mouth. How about if I talk like Chef on South Park? Any movement? A twitch? No? OK, I give up for now. :AH-HA_wink:

[Sixty8panther]

You have not eaten true beef jerkey unless you've bought some

at a gas station in Maine. I'm NOT kiddin' either. The good stuff

does not have a brand name and it does NOT come in a plastic

bag. It's sold out of a plexiglass box and wrapped in wax paper.

Almost any decent gas station around Bar Harbour & Old Orchard

Beach has the good stuff. It costs $2 for a slice the size of a legal

envelope and once you've had it you'll never call anything else

"beef jerky". It's like a glass of $200 Red Merlot compared to a

warm Bud Light in a plastic cup.

[ocnblu]

"...warm Bud Lite in a plastic cup"... OMG, Sly, you actually went to that "Golden Shower" party I told you about, didn't you? I WAS ONLY JOKING! I didn't really think you were into that kind of stuff (it's way too kinky for me). Well, ya learn somethin' new every single day, I guess. Edited June 26, 2006 by ocnblu

[zhawk]

Nah, I'll just go down to Stewart's Meats in McKenna. They've got the best jerky and pepperoni I have ever had, beef, chicken, or elk.

[Sixty8panther]

I'm going to take a hot shower now and wash off with sandpaper!

[NOS2006]

Whoa! After a long search.. I found the beef!

[Croc]

NOS...why you looking at squirrel testes?

[NOS2006]

I'm not quite sure.

[FAPTurbo]

NOS...why you looking at squirrel testes?

Amazing what'll show up in your Hotmail inbox...

[ocnblu]

First it was a sheep, now it's a squirrel.

[NOS2006]

At least this time it's real.. :AH-HA_wink:

[ocnblu]

They look pretty fuzzy. Do they tickle?

[NOS2006]

Well aren't you inquisitive?

They do tickle a little though..

[Sixty8panther]

Funny how O.B. threads seem to end up in some random

collection of non-sequitors like this...

[Croc]

It's not a non-sequitor! It's NOS very slowly starting to open the closet door to see if the coast is clear before he makes his big escape. Let's watch him!

[NOS2006]

Almost caught.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

I don't know where the beef is, but I think I found the chicken...

[Guest YellowJacket894]

Funny how O.B. threads seem to end up in some random

collection of non-sequitors like this...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lets look at the map...

Edited June 27, 2006 by YellowJacket894

[Sixty8panther]

That image is very disturbing for several reasons, the biggest of

which is that the bathing suit implies that Chicken's have

v@g!nas, which I suppose they do but I do not need to think

about that next time I eat a Wendy's 5-piece Chicken Nugget... I

mean Chicken Vag... I mean, see what I mean?!

[NOS2006]

That image is very disturbing for several reasons, the biggest of

which is that the bathing suit implies that Chicken's have

v@g!nas, which I suppose they do but I do not need to think

about that next time I eat a Wendy's 5-piece Chicken Nugget... I

mean Chicken Vag... I mean, see what I mean?!

Damn, can't wait to dip those little buggers in Sweet 'n Sour sauce next time!

[Sixty8panther]

You're not gay after all then... I mean if you like eating p*$$y

then you're hetero.

[regfootball]

Whoa! After a long search.. I found the beef!

"would you like some nuts with your tubesteak"?

[regfootball]

I love beef jerky. The saltier the better. And sometimes you gotta keep rolling it around in your mouth to get in the right place to gnaw on it a little before you can swallow the whole piece of meat. When you're done your whole jaw hurts but for some reason its wholly satisfying nonetheless.

I've taken in a whole bag of beef jerky before. Its like I can't stop.

L/M meats, Grand forks ND makes tremendous real beef jerky. i think you can even get it on the web.

in fact, one night i spent like 2 hours shopping on the internet for beef jerky, but wussed out on buying osme because its too expensive.

Edited June 27, 2006 by regfootball

[trinacriabob]

You have not eaten true beef jerkey unless you've bought some

at a gas station in Maine.

Almost any decent gas station around Bar Harbour & Old Orchard

Beach has the good stuff.

Yes, Pantho, I need to go there...again. I was in Maine once and I loved it...very beautiful. But, aren't there snively Subaru-driving tree-hugging "packaged" liberals over there...and in great numbers? I wouldn't like THAT part.

I can't do beef jerky right now. I just had my lower braces put on today. I once knocked off an upper bracket merely biting into a Safeway (West Coast supermarket chain) deli lunch sandwich with crusty bread.

BTW, Mr. Mass/NH, is the Big Dig done? Is it easy to get around downtown Boston now?

[Sixty8panther]

Yes, Pantho, I need to go there...again. I was in Maine once and I loved it...very beautiful.  But, aren't there snively Subaru-driving tree-hugging "packaged" liberals over there...and in great numbers?  I wouldn't like THAT part.

The crazy part is, you know how they say a lot of stereotypes

are at least partially true... yes many of us Slovakians are

drunks & a high percentage of nerds wear goofy glasses, well

anyone who's ever driven on Maine roads can tell you that

you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Subaru wagon of

some sort (greed & burgundy Outbacks are the most common)

with two granola bar eating Lesbians in it & a bike rack on the

rear tailgate or roof.

This is SOOOOO true. Not that I mind Lesbians but I just wish

they were more like the ones in my "special" DVD collection &

less like the flanel shirt wearing mullett heads that you see in

these Subaru Outbacks/Foresters.

BTW, Mr. Mass/NH, is the Big Dig done?

YES!

Is it easy to get around downtown Boston now?

NO!

Whenever you have a whole city full of streets based on no logic

at all except for some weird system of where Paul Revere

urinated on a tree stump back in 1769 or some other more

arbitrary system of order based on a 17th century pub, 18th

century Jezebel & whatever landfill/garbage dump was filled in at

Boston Harbor in 1904 you're not in for an easy navigation.

All joking aside Boston & Mass are gorgeous as confusing as

certain parts of Boston may be. Our beautiful country's rich

heretige & colorful history all began in Boston. Every American

should make the trip out to Boston, MA at least once in his/her life.