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Posted

Example:

Good news - you're finally going skydiving!

(next poster:)

Bad news - when you jump, your parachute won't work!

(next poster:)

Good news - There's a truck full of pillows conveniently placed right below you to cushion your fall.

(next poster:)

Bad news - there's a bear driving the truck!

------------

I'll start:

Good news - You just won a Cadillac!

Posted (edited)

Beat me by a minute, black-knight, so I'll edit...

Bad news - it also came with EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! upgrades in the interior.

Edited by Lamar
Posted (edited)

Good news - You put your new Hot Rod Cimarron up for grabs at Barret-Jackson, and someone was just drunk and/or high enough to buy it for $7k.

Edited by black-knight
Posted

Good news: Though you inevitably felt the effects of traveler's diarrhea after returning home, you at least got to do so on the comforts of your own toilet.

Posted

Bad news: your toilet decided to back up at just the right time so now you have diarrhea water all over your bathroom floor.

Posted

Good news: you were tired of the guys in the car club ragging on you about your mauve Monte Carlo anyway. Time to change the color!

Posted (edited)

Good news - Both of them found out that you are a big old filthy man whore. Wife divorces you, takes the Monte Carlo and sells it for pennies on the dollar on Craigslist. Your boyfriend leaves you soon after, leaving you in a pool of your own emotional vomit, compelling you to commit suicide. Since you're just a big old whiny bitch, you go through with it. Good job, jackass. You're dead now ...

... except this was all really just a bad dream. You aren't having an extra marital affair with some dude you met in Dallas (although, because of you dreaming about it, you're probably going to go to counseling soon and wind up in a gigolo gang bang with your wife to expel your repressed feelings), your Monte Carlo was never real to begin with, your dog has been dead for years, you never went to the hospital or Barrett-Jackson, and the Cadillac you won was actually a 2010 CTS-V wagon and not a turbo-powered Cimarron pro-tourer.

Edited by black-knight
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Bad News: Most of the recording is not viewable due to the x rated nature of what went on, on the hood of the car while in the shop.

Posted

Bad News: The dealership is given a D- for performance on the video, C+ for repairing the Auto initial issue and a F for breaking some other item to cause return business.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Bad news: different mechanic really is "different". He starts stalking you on Facebook. Waaay too publicly!

Posted

Good News, Your Crazy Cousin informs you he has decided he really likes the looks of the Stalker Mechanic and is going to stalk him back till he disappears.

Posted (edited)

Bad news: Stalker Mechanic discovers Crazy Cousin, beats the tar out of him, and then comes after you claiming that you sent Crazy Cousin after him. He chases you out of your house, over your back fence and down the road. You're screaming bloody murder the whole way and he's laughing maniacally, this entire spectacle making a huge scene and alerting your already wary-of-you neigbors to the comedy of tragedies that is your life.

Edited by Turbojett
Posted

Good News: That hotty of a Cougar comes out of her house and tasers stalker mechanic putting him down with 50,000 volts to the jugular. :P

Posted

Good News, He borrows all his cloths from his sister who likes to spend her days in the kitchen cooking and is looking for a man she can pamper.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Good news: You dodged a huge bullet since she has - unbeknownst to you - MAJOR control issues.

That's the good news?!

Good news: it's because the charges were dropped.

Edited by Turbojett
Posted

(Bad news: Turbojett quoted the wrong person. :P)

On-topic bad news: We really don't know where that boy toy is now...

Posted

Good news: you land a dream job. You really, really like it.

Bad news: After a few months, they hire your old boss (that you despise) to be your new boss.

(been there, done that)

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Bad News: The company was bought out by the competitor and the Director and everyone else is out to cover their ass. So trying to figure out what happened to your boss and his secretary is history. Now you have to worry about your job.

Posted

Good news: There is no "south side" of Detroit (since downtown is already south) - so what that really means is you get to work in Canada! Yay! :)

Look at a map of Detroit/Windsor if you don't get what I'm saying.

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