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Good news, bad news

Drew Dowdell

By Drew Dowdell
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Drew Dowdell Grand Master

Drew Dowdell

Posted
Posted

Example:

Good news - you're finally going skydiving!

(next poster:)

Bad news - when you jump, your parachute won't work!

(next poster:)

Good news - There's a truck full of pillows conveniently placed right below you to cushion your fall.

(next poster:)

Bad news - there's a bear driving the truck!

------------

I'll start:

Good news - You just won a Cadillac!

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frogger
frogger

Good news is I hope to join in on a 1 million+ person street party tonight for an hour or so should the Raptors win.. bad news is i will get there around midnight and will surely be woken up by the li

ccap41
ccap41

Sports are great, aren't they?!? We're celebrating the Blues Cup win here. Congrats to the Raptors! 

frogger
frogger

At the beginning of the year I figured like most the Warriors would win again easily after adding Cousins for peanuts.. a bit surreal to me that they actually might lose and it is the Raptors I've bee

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Lamar Newbie

Lamar

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Beat me by a minute, black-knight, so I'll edit...

Bad news - it also came with EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! upgrades in the interior.

Edited by Lamar
Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

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Good news - You put your new Hot Rod Cimarron up for grabs at Barret-Jackson, and someone was just drunk and/or high enough to buy it for $7k.

Edited by black-knight
Lamar Newbie

Lamar

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Posted

Good news: Though you inevitably felt the effects of traveler's diarrhea after returning home, you at least got to do so on the comforts of your own toilet.

z28luvr01 Newbie

z28luvr01

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Posted

Bad news: your toilet decided to back up at just the right time so now you have diarrhea water all over your bathroom floor.

ocnblu Newbie

ocnblu

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Good news: you were tired of the guys in the car club ragging on you about your mauve Monte Carlo anyway. Time to change the color!

Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

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Good news - Both of them found out that you are a big old filthy man whore. Wife divorces you, takes the Monte Carlo and sells it for pennies on the dollar on Craigslist. Your boyfriend leaves you soon after, leaving you in a pool of your own emotional vomit, compelling you to commit suicide. Since you're just a big old whiny bitch, you go through with it. Good job, jackass. You're dead now ...

... except this was all really just a bad dream. You aren't having an extra marital affair with some dude you met in Dallas (although, because of you dreaming about it, you're probably going to go to counseling soon and wind up in a gigolo gang bang with your wife to expel your repressed feelings), your Monte Carlo was never real to begin with, your dog has been dead for years, you never went to the hospital or Barrett-Jackson, and the Cadillac you won was actually a 2010 CTS-V wagon and not a turbo-powered Cimarron pro-tourer.

Edited by black-knight
  • 2 weeks later...
G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

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Posted

Bad News: Most of the recording is not viewable due to the x rated nature of what went on, on the hood of the car while in the shop.

G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

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Bad News: The dealership is given a D- for performance on the video, C+ for repairing the Auto initial issue and a F for breaking some other item to cause return business.

  • 3 weeks later...
ocnblu Newbie

ocnblu

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Bad news: different mechanic really is "different". He starts stalking you on Facebook. Waaay too publicly!

G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

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Posted

Good News, Your Crazy Cousin informs you he has decided he really likes the looks of the Stalker Mechanic and is going to stalk him back till he disappears.

Turbojett Newbie

Turbojett

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Bad news: Stalker Mechanic discovers Crazy Cousin, beats the tar out of him, and then comes after you claiming that you sent Crazy Cousin after him. He chases you out of your house, over your back fence and down the road. You're screaming bloody murder the whole way and he's laughing maniacally, this entire spectacle making a huge scene and alerting your already wary-of-you neigbors to the comedy of tragedies that is your life.

Edited by Turbojett
G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

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Posted

Good News: That hotty of a Cougar comes out of her house and tasers stalker mechanic putting him down with 50,000 volts to the jugular. :P

G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

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Good News, He borrows all his cloths from his sister who likes to spend her days in the kitchen cooking and is looking for a man she can pamper.

  • 2 weeks later...
Turbojett Newbie

Turbojett

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Posted (edited)

Good news: You dodged a huge bullet since she has - unbeknownst to you - MAJOR control issues.

That's the good news?!

Good news: it's because the charges were dropped.

Edited by Turbojett
Lamar Newbie

Lamar

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Posted

(Bad news: Turbojett quoted the wrong person. :P)

On-topic bad news: We really don't know where that boy toy is now...

Robert Hall Veteran

Robert Hall

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Posted

Good news: you land a dream job. You really, really like it.

Bad news: After a few months, they hire your old boss (that you despise) to be your new boss.

(been there, done that)

  • 3 weeks later...
G. David Felt Grand Master

G. David Felt

Posted
Posted

Bad News: The company was bought out by the competitor and the Director and everyone else is out to cover their ass. So trying to figure out what happened to your boss and his secretary is history. Now you have to worry about your job.

the_yellow_dart Newbie

the_yellow_dart

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Posted

Good news: There is no "south side" of Detroit (since downtown is already south) - so what that really means is you get to work in Canada! Yay! :)

Look at a map of Detroit/Windsor if you don't get what I'm saying.

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