Ever get caught masturbating?

[Nick]

http://www.srtforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=241098

just remember...

:rotflmao:

I have yet to be caught doing the "deed"...*knocks on wood* (...no, not that wood... )

[Croc]

Kinda...I think a couple times when the door has been opened without a prior knock/permission it has been obvious what was going on even if nothing was seen...but whatever I don't care I mean it isn't as bad as me walking in on my roomie getting head from his girl in the living room of our apt or the time when they didn't know I was in the apt sleeping and awoke to them having sex.

[Paolino]

My roommate walked in on me masturbating once... he was supposed to be in class--dumbass was cutting. He just kinda like froze... until I screamed, "GET OUT!"

[CSpec]

Here's all I have to say about that:

http://www.break.com/movies/wowjerkoff.html

[lauren]

Y'all get in from the back

[Cory Wolfe]

Yes... too many times, too. Damn mother... doesn't know not to open my door when it's closed and locked... and comes down too many times at night. Damn her. I wish I had a new door and I wish the computer was in my room.

[Satty]

Y'all get in from the back

Hmmmm.......I could take that as some sort of innuendo.

[lauren]

Hmmmm.......I could take that as some sort of innuendo.

for a TARD HATCH??!

This forum is seriously going downhill.

For gods sake...a post about masturbation on a GM FORUM?

Get a life people. Or a MySpace account.

[Satty]

Trust me, we've had a lot worse in the lounge. Didn't we have a "when did you lose your virginity" thread a while back? And then the three month gay soap opera $h! we had going on. You've just got to roll with it, thats what the lounge is for.

[Cory Wolfe]

Trust me, we've had a lot worse in the lounge.  Didn't we have a "when did you lose your virginity" thread a while back?  And then the three month gay soap opera $h! we had going on.  You've just got to roll with it, thats what the lounge is for.

Oh... and I played no part in those. Well, atleast it wasn't completely my fault...

[Satty]

http://www.srtforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=241098

I'm up to page 7, freaking hilarious.

And I've never been caught doing anything but I have walked in on people in various stages of pleasure, self inflicted and otherwise.

[sciguy_0504]

Never been caught, either, but almost everyone does it and almost everyone knows.

Paulie, so is it true college roommates get to know each other fairly well? I don't live in a dorm.

[Satty]

My roomie and I never talked to each other. We really didn't like each other. That is true in some cases, very untrue in others.

[Satty]

"When masturbations lost its fun you're f@#king lazy"

--Green Day

[Croc]

I didn't like my roomie that much last year...so slovenly and a waste of space...this year's roomate is such a fussy prissy neat-freak...ugh one extreme to the other.

[Croc]

"When masturbations lost its fun you're f@#king lazy"

--Green Day

So true. Props for incorporating Green Day into this thread...Longview is one of my favorites from that era. Edited April 19, 2006 by Croc

[Cory Wolfe]

Well... it hasn't lost its fun, but I do wish for something more. I am lazy, though, so...

Edited April 19, 2006 by blackviper8891

[bowtie_dude]

for a TARD HATCH??!

This forum is seriously going downhill.

For gods sake...a post about masturbation on a GM FORUM?

Get a life people. Or a MySpace account.

Coming from a girl that has an avatar with a well placed hand shot, and a sig that says "I Take My Top Off" with a picture of someone's rack (a very NICE rack I might add) in a wife beater, "Get a life..." doesn't mean a whole helluva lot.

Edited April 19, 2006 by bowtie_dude

[trinacriabob]

Do most use gel or warming liquid? Scented or unscented? Do people keep a towel nearby or run up and get tissue paper from the bathroom? Do you let "the stuff" land on you or elsewhere?

Have you ever shared a hotel room (or dorm room) with somebody for a professional event (just going to college) to have them whack in the middle of the night, they essentially wake you up and then you just stay there FROZEN so that you don't have to acknowledge the issue?

I had that happen about 3 years out of college at a hotel in San Diego where I had to share a room with a co-worker. It was awful. I was woken up by it and DID NOT MOVE / OPEN MY EYES / BREATHE. I never said a word nor did I want to interact with this person thereafter.

[Enzora]

I didn't like my roomie that much last year...so slovenly and a waste of space...this year's roomate is such a fussy prissy neat-freak...ugh one extreme to the other.

Haha, next year, I'm getting both extremes at the same time. It should be fun to watch how that one plays out.

But at least neither of them's psycho, which is most welcome.

[turbo200]

Do most use gel or warming liquid?  Scented or unscented?  Do people keep a towel nearby or run up and get tissue paper from the bathroom?  Do you let "the stuff" land on you or elsewhere?

   

Have you ever shared a hotel room (or dorm room) with somebody for a professional event (just going to college) to have them whack in the middle of the night, they essentially wake you up and then you just stay there FROZEN so that you don't have to acknowledge the issue?

I had that happen about 3 years out of college at a hotel in San Diego where I had to share a room with a co-worker.  It was awful.  I was woken up by it and DID NOT MOVE / OPEN MY EYES / BREATHE.  I never said a word nor did I want to interact with this person thereafter.

for a professional to do it in a hotel room with your co-worker, that's stepping over the line of an addiction if you ask me. at least wait till you're in the shower.

[lauren]

Coming from a girl that has an avatar with a well placed hand shot, and a sig that says "I Take My Top Off" with a picture of someone's rack (a very NICE rack I might add) in a wife beater, "Get a life..." doesn't mean a whole helluva lot.

for the last time: "I take my top off" refers to my car. It's my license plate.

and thanks for the compliment on my rack.

[Enzora]

for the last time: "I take my top off" refers to my car.

Yes, because all double-entendres are supposed to be interpreted in the most innocent way possible.

Edited April 19, 2006 by Enzora

[Cory Wolfe]

for the last time: "I take my top off" refers to my car. It's my license plate.

and thanks for the compliment on my rack.

Ofcourse it does, as Enzora said... However, the pictures say otherwise. Clever, though.

[lauren]

Yes, because all double-entendres are supposed to be interpreted in the most innocent way possible.

Am I a total idiot or something? Of course it is, but at least I didn't plaster anything about jacking off on the side of my car.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I was just trying to have a little fun around here, but apparently you have to either be completely vulgar or talk like you're 8 years old.

Way to run a forum guys.

[Cory Wolfe]

To answer your questions...

Do most use gel or warming liquid?

Whatever I have. Usually petroluem jelly or something with the same feel.

Scented or unscented?

Unscented, but it doesn't matter since "the stuff" smells very unique.

Do people keep a towel nearby or run up and get tissue paper from the bathroom?

Both, sometimes, but usually run down to the bathroom for toilet paper and to wash off.

Do you let "the stuff" land on you or elsewhere?

Myself, ofcourse. It's an important part of the feel of masturbating. Why else?

Anyways, Lauren's just disgusted about guys talking about getting caught masturbating. Kind of like heterosexual guys would be disgusted about me talking about gay sex. Nothing irregular.

[Enzora]

As my psychology professor so eloquently put it, "99% of men masturbate, and the other 1% are lying."

Nothing to get upset over.

[turbo200]

Am I a total idiot or something? Of course it is, but at least I didn't plaster anything about jacking off on the side of my car.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I was just trying to have a little fun around here, but apparently you have to either be completely vulgar or talk like you're 8 years old.

Way to run a forum guys.

nice rack

[z28luvr01]

Usually topics like these are allowed to exist because members for the most part keep the discussion civil and mature. I hope this one eventually gets there or else we'll have to flash the

BTW, Lauren, I got your "tard hatch" comment.

[Flybrian]

See, Lauren is killing some kittens right now looking at some of you dudes in the picture thread.

[frogger]

I think people need to chill and rub one out.

[wpbharry]

You do not have to tell me twice. I splooge my hagars on an hourly basis. Especially when I mix the cialias with the viagra with the percocets. In fact I will rub a commemorative nut out for my Joshiepoo. It may take me a while. I am a stud.

Ahh. Done. Set a record there for holding it in.

Edited April 19, 2006 by wpbharry

[sciguy_0504]

Jeez.

This is a little too personal for me. I do agree with Turbie, though. A co-worker jacking off in the same room with you is taking it way too far. I could see college roommate, football team or best friend (taboo subject) but that's about it.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

Ah, I'm losing intrest in the other things my right hand can do besides...typing this message...and...writing this message...and...drawing concept cars...and...writing this...

[Flybrian]

Should I recount the tale from my days in high school when a Junior was caught jerking off in class...in front row, center...by the hot 20-something substitute...and he 'finished'...and that's how she found out?

[sciguy_0504]

^^^ Wow. How stupid could one be?

[VenSeattle]

Don't get caught... Get help

[bowtie_dude]

Am I a total idiot or something? Of course it is, but at least I didn't plaster anything about jacking off on the side of my car.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I was just trying to have a little fun around here, but apparently you have to either be completely vulgar or talk like you're 8 years old.

Way to run a forum guys.

Well I'm neither, I'm just arguing for the sake of it. Gotta do something when I'm not bustin chops up in the news section.

And yes, it IS a nice rack.

Whoops!

[ShadowDog]

Where I used to work, I set up a surveillance camera in our stock basement to monitor employees for suspected theft. I caught three employees on tape, but that wasn't the end of it. One employee (the nicest of them all) would receive duties from his supervisors, then open the walk-in freezer door between himself and his supervisor and start flipping the bird and gesturing by grabbing his crotch and humping the air while he couldn't be seen. The thing was, the camera was about three feet behind him, in the corner, obscured by a dark floor joist.

It didn't end there...

One night he ran downstairs, had a few sips from his stash of drinks, eat a few chips...then he disappeared out of sight. Suddenly, I could see his hand from behind one of the floor posts...moving...but I couldn't quite make out what he was doing until he came out in full view, pulling his pecker.

I was laughing so hard while reviewing the video that my manager walked in asking what was going on. By then, there was nothing on the screen to see, but I simply said, "You know the expression, 'Jacking off on the job'?"

"Yeeeeah," he replied with a look of questioning on his face.

"Well, it ain't just an expression, according to ****."

"Oh no, you're kidding."

"Nope. I got it all on tape."

"For crying out loud," my manager paused, then spoke as he walked out the door, "Well, jacking off on the job is one thing...thank god he wasn't f@#king the dog."

I nearly pissed myself laughing.

Edited April 20, 2006 by ShadowDog

[trinacriabob]

Way to run a forum guys.

Chill. Chill. Chill.

Every once in a while, a "whack(y)" (no pun intended) topic gets on here and we have some fun with it. Remember, you've joined a forum that is about 98 % male (correction: about 80 % male - couldn't resist - I know, I'm an ass). Is it any different from the immaturities and stupid comments that would be carried out by women (and this would be grown women) if they went to see Chippendale dancers? Probably not. Now, if one of us put a crotch shot behind tight underwear as our Avatar, would that be vulgar? Probably so. I guess I don't like the double standard.

We're just having fun. Let it go. No need to analyze it.

[wpbharriet]

This forum is more like 70% male, 18% questionable, 11% female and 1% BV.

In other news, just give me a banana and a clothes dryer and I'm good for a week.

[Intrepidation]

[Drew Dowdell]

(correction: about 80 % male - couldn't resist - I know, I'm an ass).

Yeah... you're an ass...

You know what gay guys do to asses.... right?

[wpbharry]

You know what gay guys do to asses.... right?

OldsmoboiToi. You mentioned three of my four favorite things. Gays. Asses. And Bananas. Josh. Now all four have been said.

Want to make some banana cream pie, my lovely? You bring your banana. I will make the cream. Oh yeah.

HodgePodgeDodgefan. You seem new here. Welcome. I look forward to meeting you in person with a personal touch. Do you like body oil? Do you like Malibu Maxxs? If yes to both, I have a mobile treat for you sexy.

Oh Joshie, where are you? Help me punch the dolphin.

[Intrepidation]

OldsmoboiToi. You mentioned three of my four favorite things. Gays. Asses. And Bananas. Josh. Now all four have been said.

Want to make some banana cream pie, my lovely? You bring your banana. I will make the cream. Oh yeah.

HodgePodgeDodgefan. You seem new here. Welcome. I look forward to meeting you in person with a personal touch. Do you like body oil? Do you like Malibu Maxxs? If yes to both, I have a mobile treat for you sexy.

Oh Joshie, where are you? Help me punch the dolphin.

Sorry to dissapoint ya but I have a girlfriend and I think Malibu Maxx's are ugly.

[Flybrian]

Enjoy, you jerk-offs.

[Camino LS6]

What a marvelous gift to humanity this internet thing is.

[Intrepidation]

What a marvelous gift to humanity this internet thing is.

lol

[NOS2006]

Okay so I almost got caught masturbating it like twice by my sister 'cause she walks in and is like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

"Uh, I'm itching myself. Wanna see?"

"Ew. No. You're gross."

*says what she originally came to say and leaves*

But tonight my bestfriend (Ray), a girl from work, and I all decide to go to some elementary school playground and hang out at like 10 tonight. So we decide to play tag on the playscape lol. We're doing this and Ray nails his head while running up the slide to tag the girl. So we all sit on the bench a little later because I thought he was going to have a concussion or something. So while we're doing this she says she wants to take pics and stuff so she then goes on (after taking pics) to tell us to run out in the field (tons of mowed grass out there and it was dark) and take our clothes off. I tell her to go first. Well she says she'll go out in her bra/panties way out so we can hardly see her. Okay, fine, I agree to go next. Well, she starts running around out there and I tell Ray to run out there with me and grab her clothes. So we get her clothes and she like tackles me in the grass as I hand them off to Ray to run with 'em. She wrestles me around thinking I have them, but I don't so I just hold her there so Ray can take care of the stuff. He does and finally she ends up getting it all back and on. So a little later she says it's my turn, so I reluctantly go up on the big playscape thing and get up on top of it and say I'll get completely naked in the tube. Well, she didn't believe me, so she climbed all the way up there to find out I wasn't lying (I don't lie!). So while we're up there, she likes what she's seeing so we start making out (Ray's over on the bench and we thought he fell asleep -- all the while my clothes, well pants, are still off) and she starts stroking me and I go down her pants. Things are going good and all of a sudden I hear "Frank?!" from below. I pull my pants up and slide through the tube thing and I stop midway down to adjust as I hear her yell, "Who the hell is that?!" Well I get to the bottom and find out Ray had called my buddy Dale to come up there and hang out. He's like, "Dude, I'm SO sorry I got in the middle of that. I saw what was going and you had her good." But that's my story of getting caught. He drove me home (lol my car's sitting in the garage now waiting for a new radiator hose which I'll get in the morning.. I melted my old one) and all's good now.

[Chris_Doane]

Okay so I almost got caught masturbating it like twice by my sister 'cause she walks in and is like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

"Uh, I'm itching myself. Wanna see?"

"Ew. No. You're gross."

*says what she originally came to say and leaves*

But tonight my bestfriend (Ray), a girl from work, and I all decide to go to some elementary school playground and hang out at like 10 tonight. So we decide to play tag on the playscape lol. We're doing this and Ray nails his head while running up the slide to tag the girl. So we all sit on the bench a little later because I thought he was going to have a concussion or something. So while we're doing this she says she wants to take pics and stuff so she then goes on (after taking pics) to tell us to run out in the field (tons of mowed grass out there and it was dark) and take our clothes off. I tell her to go first. Well she says she'll go out in her bra/panties way out so we can hardly see her. Okay, fine, I agree to go next. Well, she starts running around out there and I tell Ray to run out there with me and grab her clothes. So we get her clothes and she like tackles me in the grass as I hand them off to Ray to run with 'em. She wrestles me around thinking I have them, but I don't so I just hold her there so Ray can take care of the stuff. He does and finally she ends up getting it all back and on. So a little later she says it's my turn, so I reluctantly go up on the big playscape thing and get up on top of it and say I'll get completely naked in the tube. Well, she didn't believe me, so she climbed all the way up there to find out I wasn't lying (I don't lie!). So while we're up there, she likes what she's seeing so we start making out (Ray's over on the bench and we thought he fell asleep -- all the while my clothes, well pants, are still off) and she starts stroking me and I go down her pants. Things are going good and all of a sudden I hear "Frank?!" from below. I pull my pants up and slide through the tube thing and I stop midway down to adjust as I hear her yell, "Who the hell is that?!" Well I get to the bottom and find out Ray had called my buddy Dale to come up there and hang out. He's like, "Dude, I'm SO sorry I got in the middle of that. I saw what was going and you had her good." But that's my story of getting caught. He drove me home (lol my car's sitting in the garage now waiting for a new radiator hose which I'll get in the morning.. I melted my old one) and all's good now.

So in other words you had....

Edited April 20, 2006 by CD/BP