RED INK RICK RESIGNS AMID BOARDROOM COUP

[Croc]

12:01 ET

AP - General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner announced his resignation today amidst persistant rumors of an impending boardroom coup.

Although the GM Board of Directors have not commented to the media, speculation within the industry has suggested that the recent appointment of board member Jerry York could have been the catalyst for Wagoner's resignation. Before being appointed to the board, York had publicly commented that GM should sell off the underperforming SAAB and HUMMER brands, a strategy Wagoner openly opposed.

Within certain industry circles Wagoner has been known as "Red Ink Rick," a nickname that references GM's spiral toward bankruptcy and an SEC probe under his watch. GM recently restated its earnings for several years.

Automotive industry insider Jim Dollinger, a man known by many as "The Buickman," has been a vocal critic of Wagoner. Using over14 years of experience selling Buicks, Dollinger created a Return to Greatness plan amidst spiraling sales and profits at GM. "Wagoner wouldn't at least try Return to Greatness, laments Dollinger, "There is no cost involved and it would work to actually lower expenses."

Wagoner has his supporters, however, including one industry insider known only by the pseudonym "evok." Evok believes that many of GM's current problems are a result of poor decisions from the past 30 years and praises Wagoner for keeping GM fully funded. "It is the mistakes of the last 30 years and the history of the last 100 that created the GM of today," says evok, [the] billions of dollars from GMAC and bond issues a few years ago went into the retirement obligations. If that was not done when it [was], GM would not be fully funded for the next few years."

No mention has been made regarding Wagoner's successor.

More as it develops.

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http://www.if-you-believe-this-you-must-be-retarded.com

In other news, evok is full of $h!, Buickman administers enema.

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

--Croc

[regfootball]

AHHH, and you made me check CNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good one!

today is the 14th anniversary of me getting fired from my old best buy job! I know how THE RICK WOULD FEEL! lol.......

[VenSeattle]

In other news, evok is full of $h!, Buickman administers enema.

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

--Croc

Must be Happy Opposite Day too!

[evok]

((><))

[Croc]

HAHA!

[ellives]

Sheesh - I actually read the whole thing before I realized. Duh!

[Guest buickman]

The joke is on GM and the thousands of remaining employees, retirees, dealers, suppliers, and customers.

Buickman

PS

Well written and quite funny.

Edited April 1, 2006 by buickman

[Croc]

The joke is on GM and the thousands of remaining employees, retirees, dealers, suppliers, and customers.

))<>((

PS

Well written and quite funny.

Do you think the joke is on the hundreds of cars going the wrong way on a one way street and you're the only one going in the right direction?

[Guest buickman]

Well at least I'm making money and doing what I can to Return GM to Greatness.

Buickman

[mustang84]

Good one, Croc! You had me there for a second!

[97regalGS]

Well at least I'm making money and doing what I can to Return GM to Greatness.

Buickman

how do you have time to make money when you're always on this web site?

[Cory Wolfe]

Didn't fool me for one second... Buickman.... Ha!

[Guest buickman]

how do you have time to make money when you're always on this web site?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Effective Marketing, that's how. I also run Dollinger & Company Real Estate and serve as General Manager at Suski's (Feel the Heartbeat today at Suski Buick Chevrolet). My employees are all on the same page, going in the same direction. And I DON'T DO RED TAG SALES!

Buickman

[evok]

And I DON'T DO RED TAG SALES!

Buickman

He does GMS instead.

[Guest Josh]

Not sure if he does or not, but it gets the job done.

[The O.C.]

I got caught too....! That was until I read the part about "Buickman." Then I knew it was a joke....

[Guest buickman]

More Ziegler:

"According to the Detroit Free Press, when reporters bluntly asked if Wagoner had considered stepping aside (resigning) he said, “I haven't given any consideration whatsoever to that. I wasn't brought up to run and hide when things get tough."

Well Rick, resigning may not be your option. Increasingly, it seems to appear there are dark forces in motion in the background lathering up a “lynch mob mentality.” If this was still the Thanksgiving season, there would be little doubt exactly who the turkey on the menu is.

Let me say two words about this to clarify…‘Robert Stempel’."

Buickman

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

LOL!!!

Nice one!