wow... exgf's pregnent

[Newbiewar]

well I just found out my high school sweetheart is pregnent(and no its not mine)... i dont know what to say to her... i still love her, but realistically we've been seperated for almost 4 years now... i just went on to her myspace to see an ultrasonic picture of her baby that will be due sometime in september

it seems my world is growing up so much, and sometimes its leaving me behind...

i dont know what to say to her... anyone have any suggestions for me?

[Croc]

ummm...Congratulations?

[Flybrian]

Perhaps in whatever way you feel is appropriate, congratulate her and let her know you're keeping in your mind well-wishes for her and her baby.

[Newbiewar]

wow... yea i forgot about the whole congradulations... it was not my initial thought... (who didnt pull out soon enough) ohh well... haha i hope everything is well with her...

never had something like that happen to someone so close to me... i dont think it was planned...

Edited March 14, 2006 by Newbiewar

[Nick]

"Nice job getting knocked up."

[usonia]

I hope this doesn't come of sounding rude because I don't mean it that way. I didn't get the impression that this girl is married and yet here she is, young and pregnant. Why would that be a reason to offer congratulations? That's a tragedy.

[Sixty8panther]

I hope this doesn't come of sounding rude because I don't mean it that way.  I didn't get the impression that this girl is married and yet here she is, young and pregnant.  Why would that be a reason to offer congratulations?  That's a tragedy.

Unless it was a rape there's never any reason to call a new life being brought into this world a Tragedy.

I thought my life was over when me and my girlfriend got pregnant a bit earlier than planned... it seemed like I was too young (24) and not prepared for the challenges of parenthood. That's litteraly waht I thought: my life is over.

The truth is my life just really began when Sofia was born. Now that I have a little daughter I no longer ask questions like "what's the point to our existance" or "what's the meaning of life". The universe is pretty much perfect for me in terms of meaning and purpose.

I think little Sofia is the best thing in this world. Better even than classic GM hardtop RWD muscle cars. :wink:

As far as marrige.... it's a piece of paper. Does not change how you feel about eachother or make your relationship any better or more meaningful. My G/F is reluctant to get married so I just let sleeping dogs lie. Eventually I hope it happens but I'm not holding my breath.

[the_yellow_dart]

You people are all sheltered.

I come from the town with the highest teen pregnancy rate in Canada. Of the 6 women I still talk to from my hometown, all within 2 years of my age (22), only one has not had a baby.

I, however, managed to escape without a baby. Which in some ways is a good thing, in some ways I feel like I missed out on what I saw a lot of my friends go through as a (mostly) positive experience.

[Enzora]

No pregnancies, but a lot of my people I knew from high school have started getting engaged/married. It's like they thought teen marriages were too young, so they're getting married as soon as they turn 20. Because that makes such a huge difference.

[Cory Wolfe]

I hope this doesn't come of sounding rude because I don't mean it that way.  I didn't get the impression that this girl is married and yet here she is, young and pregnant.  Why would that be a reason to offer congratulations?  That's a tragedy.

So, I'm the result of a tragedy, then? Mom got pregnant at 18, close to the end of high school... got married in the summer... had me in December. Now, because of that... You guys have me! I'm not a tragedy!

[usonia]

I admit I jumped to conclusions when I don't know anything more about the situation other than what was mentioned in the original post. My interpretation was that a yound girl, either in or just out of high school ended up with an unplanned pregnancy. I think the situation is a tragedy. That has nothing to do with the baby itself. He/she is blameless.

In a perfect world, every baby would be planned and wanted, but that just isn't reality. That's also not to say that it won't end up a 'positive' for those involved but we also know that isn't always the case. I guess I've seen the negative side of these situations enough to be pessimistic.

[Croc]

I admit I jumped to conclusions when I don't know anything more about the situation other than what was mentioned in the original post. My interpretation was that a yound girl, either in or just out of high school ended up with an unplanned pregnancy. I think the situation is a tragedy.  That has nothing to do with the baby itself.  He/she is blameless.

In a perfect world, every baby would be planned and wanted, but that just isn't reality.  That's also not to say that it won't end up a 'positive' for those involved but we also know that isn't always the case.  I guess I've seen the negative side of these situations enough to be pessimistic.

You really can't plan a pregnancy. Some couples try for children for years before they finally have one while others have them after the first intercourse.

No pregnancy is a tragedy. Tragedy occurs during birth if the mother does things that are unhealthy for the developing fetus (nicotine, crack babies, etc.) or after birth if the baby is neglected. I'm sorry that you have had negative experiences in the past, but it seems somewhat judgmental to project that on everyone who may or may not have an unplanned pregnancy.

[regfootball]

Perhaps in whatever way you feel is appropriate, congratulate her and let her know you're keeping in your mind well-wishes for her and her baby.

can't say it better than that. although you could add...

"I bet you look fabulous all knocked up and Liz lange. I bet your belly is HOT"

Edited March 14, 2006 by regfootball

[Cory Wolfe]

No pregnancy is a tragedy.

Except for rape, of course...

[lauren]

well I just found out my high school sweetheart is pregnent(and no its not mine)... i dont know what to say to her... i still love her, but realistically we've been seperated for almost 4 years now... i just went on to her myspace to see an ultrasonic picture of her baby that will be due sometime in september 

it seems my world is growing up so much, and sometimes its leaving me behind...

i dont know what to say to her... anyone have any suggestions for me?

I wouldn't say anything unless you talk to her frequently already. If you haven't spoken to her since high school, it might be odd to say "hey I was MySpace stalking you saw you were pregnant..."

But everyone appreciated a "congrats I'm sure it will be a beautiful baby!"

My boyfriend is 30 and he graduated HS in 1994, so for him, looking up people he went to high school with is very strange.

The two Mexican brothers who didn't speak English are now plastic surgeons, and the wimpy nerdy dude who weighed 90lbs is now a prof. body builder with a family. In fact, most everyone he went to HS with has a family now.

I graduated in 2003 so my friends are still drinking beer and being sluts. (except one who got married)

Just depends on your perspective of it.

[Croc]

Except for rape, of course...

Disagree. The act of rape is the tragedy, but the pregnancy is still a joy because it is the forming of a new being. If such a pregnancy is unwanted and greatly damaging, take the morning after pill or abort it.

[Croc]

I graduated in 2003 so my friends are still drinking beer and being sluts. (except one  who got married)

When can I meet you and your non-married friends?

[lauren]

Disagree.  The act of rape is the tragedy, but the pregnancy is still a joy because it is the forming of a new being.  If such a pregnancy is unwanted and greatly damaging, take the morning after pill or abort it.

I disagree. nothing is worse than finding out that you are a product of rape. And the mother will always look at that child and remember how they were created.

Trust me on this one. From a womans point of view.

[lauren]

When can I meet you and your non-married friends?

I moved away from all of my friends. If you ever meet any of them, god have mercy on your soul.

I have a couple of really awesome friends up here though!

[trinacriabob]

I, however, managed to escape without a baby. Which in some ways is a good thing, in some ways I feel like I missed out on what I saw a lot of my friends go through as a (mostly) positive experience.

All this $h! makes me shudder. Babies = $ and if a divorce comes down the pike, then more $$. Not that having kids is a bad thing. It can be a good thing...when done right. What's done right? Everyone's definition is different.

To me, it means finishing up whatever schooling or training you want to go through, making sure your job is in place and then doing it. Nowadays, that would mean anywhere from age 28 to 32.

It seems like so many young girls look at the whole baby thing as a crutch for their self-esteem. They don't have bigger goals in life so that's the pinnacle for them. It's a person and you can't send him/her back.

The sad thing about our society is that those who can afford to have kids and might even be good parents aren't doing it (like a lot of my friends) and those who shouldn't be having kids are doing it (and I know people like that too). It's not necessarily a tragedy (BV's cool) but it is definitely an uphill climb. No thanks.

[trinacriabob]

well I just found out my high school sweetheart is pregnent(and no its not mine)...

From you sig, it looks like you are in the SGV part of So Cal. Did you grow up there, too?

Don't know anybody that went to public school in that area, but I know people who went to Bishop Amat. Is/was that your stomping ground?

The last time I was there and went around with my friend who lives in Hacienda Heights off of Colima Rd., it seems that there is NO one who could be in "The Brady Bunch" in "those parts" any more. You have to cross over to Brea and Fullerton or go toward Claremont to get that "effect."

[Cory Wolfe]

It's not necessarily a tragedy (BV's cool) but it is definitely an uphill climb.  No thanks.

Yeah... I just look at myself as an accident, not a tragedy.

[Sixty8panther]

I disagree. nothing is worse than finding out that you are a product of rape. And the mother will always look at that child and remember how they were created.

Trust me on this one. From a womans point of view.

Without naming names I'll tell a quick tale:

A girl who was in her mid teens was raped by her ex. She got pregnant and had an abortion. Shortly after she was kidnpped and raped again by this same low life POS. She made a phonecall, help arrived (the prick was delt with in the only way possible, blunt force trauma to the craneum) and in a twist of fate the girl was pregnant AGAIN.

Doctors told her if she got another abortion so soon she'd probably never conceive again... she kept her baby and is happy with her decision. Now her husband is a great father to the child and all is well. Someday in the near future the child will have to be told the truth and it might be a difficult pill to swallow.

This is a person who is kind of close to me and even her most intimate friends/co workers do not know this about her.

Nothing involving something as complex as the mother-child bond can be black & white. That being said I think the option ot abort should always be available to vistims of rape.

[Newbiewar]

From you sig, it looks like you are in the SGV part of So Cal.  Did you grow up there, too?

Don't know anybody that went to public school in that area, but I know people who went to Bishop Amat.  Is/was that your stomping ground?

The last time I was there and went around with my friend who lives in Hacienda Heights off of Colima Rd., it seems that there is NO one who could be in "The Brady Bunch" in "those parts" any more.  You have to cross over to Brea and Fullerton or go toward Claremont to get that "effect." 

i'm from the wealthy city of Diamond Bar, but i take colima home sometimes if traffic is bad...

no i didnt goto bishop, but one of my neighbors did... my ex lives out in palmdale now...

[Flybrian]

I moved away from all of my friends. If you ever meet any of them, god have mercy on your soul.

Oh, you suck.

[Justin Bimmer]

Well there are two kinds of people in this world...... parents and babymakers. Not saying person mentioned in first post is one or the other, just saying that those are the two types of people.

[Satty]

Some people werent meant to be parents, thats for sure. My (4 month pregnant) girlfriend has a 10 year old son, his father wasn't around for the first five or so years and only got involved because he got remarried (his new wife was pregnant, odds are it isn't his) and his new wife wanted a family including his son. Neither of them are a person I would want a child raised by.

[lauren]

Oh, you suck.

well, except for Brian. He's awesome. You'd be lucky to meet him

[Olds Guy]

The sad thing about our society is that those who can afford to have kids and might even be good parents aren't doing it (like a lot of my friends) and those who shouldn't be having kids are doing it (and I know people like that too).  It's not necessarily a tragedy (BV's cool) but it is definitely an uphill climb.  No thanks.

This explains what was told to me as the "Conservation of I.Q. Theorem"

I.Q. cannot be created or destroyed. The cumulative I.Q. is a constant.

However, the population is increasing.

You do the math.

[Guest Josh]

For what it is worth, I plan to never have kids, and thus far it has worked to my favor. I'm focused on my career at Sprint that is blossoming and growing everyday, I also am focused on my future financially.

My money and thoughts/attention is tied up with stocks and investments as well as work that I really have no time to think or deal with women, except for the one or two nights a month I actually can get "out" and then, well, it normally cures my ummmm needs I guess you could say?

Nah but seriously, marriage and kids are not for everybody. I am happy and have been happy for years being with my family and not worrying about anybody else or a nagging woman to cause me headaches everyday.

[trinacriabob]

i'm from the wealthy city of Diamond Bar

Ok...thank you for sharing

[mustang84]

I want to have kids, but not until I have a job and am settled down...which won't be for a few years. I have a bunch of high school friends that are already getting married and one is even pregnant, and I just can't contemplate being weighed down with all that responsibility at this age (and I'm only 21...most of them are 19 and 20).

I have decided that I only want a max of two kids...no more than that. Three or more is too much to handle and too draining on the finances. One wouldn't be so bad, but I think they should have a sibling to grow up with rather than being an only child. Two sounds about right.

[AAS]

i'm from the wealthy city of Diamond Bar...

My gf, cousins and longtime friend live in DB. Doesn't it suck to see so many imports in one place!

[regfootball]

For what it is worth, I plan to never have kids, and thus far it has worked to my favor. I'm focused on my career at Sprint that is blossoming and growing everyday, I also am focused on my future financially.

My money and thoughts/attention is tied up with stocks and investments as well as work that I really have no time to think or deal with women, except for the one or two nights a month I actually can get "out" and then, well, it normally cures my ummmm needs I guess you could say?

Nah but seriously, marriage and kids are not for everybody. I am happy and have been happy for years being with my family and not worrying about anybody else or a nagging woman to cause me headaches everyday.

HAVING A SPOUSE THAT BRINGS IN BIG COIN FOR THE BIG HOUSE AND CORVETTE IS A NICE IDEA THOUGH..........

A 'SUGAR MAMA' CAN HAVE ITS BENEFITS.........

KNOW ANY FEMALE NEUROSURGEONS? IF SO, BRING ON THE CHARM.

Edited March 15, 2006 by regfootball

[trinacriabob]

My gf, cousins and longtime friend live in DB.  Doesn't it suck to see so many imports in one place!

Is DB wealthy? I know it's nice, but I don't remember it having top billing or anything. It's someplace you drive through on 60 on the way inland or to P.S. Imports are EVERYWHERE in the Southland.

DB? Isn't that douche bag?

[AAS]

Is DB wealthy?  I know it's nice, but I don't remember it having top billing or anything.  It's someplace you drive through on 60 on the way inland or to P.S. Imports are EVERYWHERE in the Southland. 

DB?  Isn't that douche bag?

Diamond Bar is mostly newer construction and a large portion is a gated (wealthy) community.

Imports are almost everywhere...