Jokes - California

[Alpha]

#76: It's the other guy's fault in the accident since he wasn't on his cell and properly multi-tasking.

#77: Road Rage isn't considered anything short of an actual firefight on the freeway.

#78: You just slept through that 7.0 earthquake, because only 8.0 is worth noting.

[trinacriabob]

Last time I was in LA (a couple weeks ago), though, I ate at Big Boy on Wilshire.  Neat 50s architecture to the building..   they had Big Boys in Ohio when I was a kid

MOLTAR!

That's awesome. I ate at Bob's Big Boy practically every damn day in college. How I stayed at 170 lbs is beyond me. The chain went KAPUT. The list of their presence was equivalent to Denny's...on every corner. I thought it was better, so I don't know why they didn't make it.

Incidentally, there are still 6 left:

Burbank (original), Glendale, LA (the one you went to on Wilshire in the Miracle Mile district), Diamond Bar and Fresno (quite far from LA, actually). I don't know the 6th one. I make it a point to go to the one in Burbank every time I'm in LA. It's close to the studios, so there are some nauseating entertainment types in there at times which can make for interesting people watching.

The Big Boys elsewhere (JB's in Utah or the ones in the Midwest/East) seem different. I like the California rendition, all of which have the same design.

(Incidentally, we had one around the corner from my HS on the Westside and it was common practice to borrow "Big Boy" and hoist him on your flagpole prior to graduation.)

Edited January 16, 2006 by trinacriabob

[bobo]

According to the Bob's Big Boy website, the California locations are:

Barstow

Burbank

Calimesa

Diamond Bar

Glendale

Hesperia

Los Angeles

Santa Paula

Torrance

The one in Fresno closed last year.

As for another chain with a heavy presence in California, but not much elsewhere, In-N-Out Burger.

[Nick]

I believe In N Out has a few other places scattered around the west coast...some in Arizona, Some in Nevada...maybe in Washington and Oregon too.

Edited January 16, 2006 by Nick

[NOS2006]

So how big is Hollister compared to A&F in Cali?

And how expensive is a pair of HCO jeans? Polo?

[Nick]

Well, Hollister and A&F are just as big...I personally wear A&F, but mostly because it is the most convenient...My standard A&F jeans typically run about 100 bucks. My sister actually got me to go in this store called "Metro Park" which automatically draws a red flag with me, but I did because she wanted me to try on these jeans...First I tried on True Religions, then I tried on Sevens...Both were the worst jeans I have ever worn...seriously...girls jeans in the guys section, but I guess in a store called "metro park" there really is no guys section. I'll stick with my A&F's...I love the jeans.

[NOS2006]

Yeah, I love A&F and HCO jeans. I pretty much only wear HCOs because they're like the only jeans that fit me. I'm wearing some Hermosas right now lol.

Girls jeans on guys.. yeah all the punks around here wear 'em. I want to kick 'em all in the nuts.

[Croc]

national brand prices are all the same. jeans are jeans, but I would say A&F is more popular because they are more expensive. The image sells. But I still see plenty of HCO.

Seriously, Cali isn't this strange foreign land. Come out here and enjoy it. Get caught up in the culture, and watch the sun set off the pier in Santa Monica. Drive around Palisades and Malibu, take PCH south to San Diego...seriously...you gotta come out here and experience it for yourselves. Cali is such an important part of American culture...you gotta see it/experience it at least once.

[Croc]

I want to kick 'em all in the nuts.

...which are very much on display, unfortunately. When I saw Senses Fail at Warped Tour, WOW you just couldn't miss it.

[NOS2006]

$100.00????

I just bought a pair of Field and Forest jeans at the local fleet supply place Fleet Farm for a little under $10.00. Field and Forest is like the Chevrolet of jeans; They're cheap and they last forever. They take a while to break in but their durability is unreal.

Well.. the jeans I buy have a terrible durability. They pretty much come destroyed.

[Nick]

Girls jeans on guys.. yeah all the punks around here wear 'em. I want to kick 'em all in the nuts.

Those aren't punks...those are emo kids...You might as well put them out of their misery and do what they are too weak to do for themselves so instead they whine and write crappy music about it.

[Turbojett]

I always get Lee Dungarees. They last forever--even the khakis (mine have been acidentally thrown in with the whites so many times it's not even funny. The color is still there for the most part, and they're still thick as they always have been)

On a special note, don't by any from Target. Your butt will suddenly develop a pretty large hole within weeks, and you won't really know it untill you're walking through the mall with people laughing at you and pointing at your exposed boxer shorts.

[Turbojett]

Those aren't punks...those are emo kids...You might as well put them out of their misery and do what they are too weak to do for themselves so instead they whine and write crappy music about it.

what, kick their asses? Man would I love to.

[Nick]

Well.. the jeans I buy have a terrible durability. They pretty much come destroyed.

Hah....seriously...You should see the jeans I am wearing right now...I was shocked when I saw them as I didn't try them on when I bought them...When I came home with them they were a little more pre-destroyed than I thought, but they've grown on me and I have accepted them...My A&F jeans though have been great. Always comfortable, and being that they come pre-worn in, you aren't dissapointed if they do get damaged or loose their dye after the first couple washes because they more or less look the same all the time. The color they do have they keep it well though, and they are pretty durable. Edited January 16, 2006 by Nick

[NOS2006]

No, put a bullet in their forehead. Complete their vindication. lol

[Nick]

what, kick their asses? Man would I love to.

Or kill their asses...either one :AH-HA_wink:

EDIT: NOS beat me to it

Edited January 16, 2006 by Nick

[Enzora]

I always get Lee Dungarees.

Me too, partly because my last name is Lee, my hometown is named Dunn, and I'm a sucker for a bad pun.

[Turbojett]

No, put a bullet in their forehead. Complete their vindication. lol

Or kill their asses...either one   :AH-HA_wink:

EDIT: NOS beat me to it

lol

Well, yeah, but I was just trying to stop short of that. I'll go get the slugger.

[trinacriabob]

According to the Bob's Big Boy website, the California locations are:

Barstow

Burbank

Calimesa

Diamond Bar

Glendale

Hesperia

Los Angeles

Santa Paula

Torrance

The one in Fresno closed last year.

As for another chain with a heavy presence in California, but not much elsewhere, In-N-Out Burger.

Can always count on you for the facts, sir!

News to me -- Barstow? Calimesa? Hesperia? These I most likely am not a position to go to. However, I will have to make it a point to eat at Santa Paula and Torrance. Fresno! Crap. I always used to go onto Blackstone Avenue to eat there while transiting from Nor Cal to So. Cal. A good mid-way stop!

[Cory Wolfe]

Jeans? *takes off pants* Well... my current favorite pair (which I just took off), are US Polo Assn. *puts pants back on* I don't really care which brand, though, as long as they fit nicely, not too tight and not too baggy. I have a wide variety... A few of the US Polo, Levi Silvertab, Carbon, Jnco, etc. I have, in total, about a dozen pair of jeans/pants. I wear about 3 of them. (my tastes change quickly and some become annoying to wear)

As for going to CA... again, I have. Yeah, it's beautiful and I really would like to live and go to school out there, but damn, I really dislike how practically everything is about image out there. I'd be afraid to take a Pontiac there, again... Also, it's alot more expensive than it is in lowly little Brookville.

[trinacriabob]

79. A hot tub is more important than a family room and may very well function as your family room

80. You are very likely to have ONE OF EACH on your block: a Hispanic, a Middle Easterner, an Asian, a Mormon, a Jew, an African-American, a gay couple and an Anglo household...and you can make fun of it in good humor...unless it's in one of the few politically correct bastions within the state

81. "Have and have not" is much more of a reality than in other parts of America

[Croc]

BV...image is everything everywhere. It's just which image is the "it" image that varies...

I'm pretty high maintanance with my appearance so Cali culture fits me like a glove...or emo jeans haha bad pun

[Turbojett]

BV...image is everything everywhere.  It's just which image is the "it" image that varies...

I'm pretty high maintanance with my appearance so Cali culture fits me like a glove...or emo jeans haha bad pun

Bah-Dum tssssssssss

[trinacriabob]

but damn, I really dislike how practically everything is about image out there

It is and it isn't. There are a lot of normal people living in California. In fact, most of them. It's the media that throws the spotlight at those you refer to and everyone thinks the whole damn state is like that.

As for expensive, most of that is accurate. Places that previously weren't expensive are now relatively expensive....even Chico, for God's sake.

[Croc]

79.  A hot tub is more important than a family room and may very well function as your family room

80.  You are very likely to have ONE OF EACH on your block:  a Hispanic, a Middle Easterner, an Asian, a Mormon, a Jew, an African-American, a gay couple and an Anglo household...and you can make fun of it in good humor...unless it's in one of the few politically correct bastions within the state

81.  "Have and have not" is much more of a reality than in other parts of America

Hey, my hot tub back in Indy is a huge friend magnet. Seriously...when my parents were ripping out our old pool/patio/driveway (old strangely-shaped pool that wasn't all that well constructed and a pain to get covers for...and was falling apart) my dad was all for a hot tub until the project ran way over budget. Thankfully I was/am very persuasive and he kept it in the plans...seriously, he spends more time in it than I do!!

I live in that hot tub when I'm home, especially in winter

I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've been in the pool...but the hot tub? No se, amigo!

---

The have vs have not thing is so true. I've never seen so much rigid class distinction in one area before! Oh, well...not even Cali can be perfect, though it is the closest to perfection I have seen

Edited January 16, 2006 by Croc

[Nick]

I went up to chico during the summer (actually my family and I went to go to Lake Almanor which is north of chico, but we stayed in chico for the night). What a lame town...I was really dissapointed with it, especially considering Chico state is right there and is supposed to be a huge party school or something...what a crappy little town.

[Croc]

Crappy towns have the best party schools. Why? Nothing else to do. Wanna know why Indiana University in Bloomington is the #1 party school and has been for several years now? Just go to Bloomington, and you will understand!

[CSpec]

Crappy towns have the best party schools.  Why?  Nothing else to do.  Wanna know why Indiana University in Bloomington is the #1 party school and has been for several years now?  Just go to Bloomington, and you will understand!

I thought it was U of Wisconsin at Madison?

[Nick]

Ahhh...It all makes so much sense now

[Cory Wolfe]

Crappy towns have the best party schools.  Why?  Nothing else to do.  Wanna know why Indiana University in Bloomington is the #1 party school and has been for several years now?  Just go to Bloomington, and you will understand!

I guess that explains why everyone in Brookville, parties. There is literally nothing to do here. It gets boring...

[Croc]

I thought it was U of Wisconsin at Madison?

All I know is that Playboy recently said that they were no longer including IU in their rankings because it wasn't fair to rank a professional in with a league of amateurs or something like that.

Hey, when I'm in Indy during school I am most definitely going down to B-Town and partying it up with all my HS friends. There's no better partying between USC and IU-B-Town

[Croc]

I guess that explains why everyone in Brookville, parties. There is literally nothing to do here. It gets boring...

Change it to "It gets hella boring" and you'll be primed for Cali

[Nick]

Yea, use Hella as much as you can. Then you'll be primed for the "better" part of California...anyone who knows California knows NorCal is the way to go if you are going to come here...

Please!....

[trinacriabob]

I was really dissapointed with it, especially considering Chico state is right there and is supposed to be a huge party school or something...what a crappy little town.

I don't think you can just drop in and expect it to happen just like that. People who go to school there say they have a good time.

BTW, someone said that, within the CA univ syst, resumes from San Diego State and Chico need to be "circular filed" for that very reason.

[zoomtm]

I guess that explains why everyone in Brookville, parties. There is literally nothing to do here. It gets boring...

get out of brookville! the name even sounds boring lol

[Robert Hall]

get out of brookville! the name even sounds boring lol

It can't be any more boring than Steubenville, Ohio or Gnadenhutten, Ohio...(the Ohio towns I spent my youth in or near). Nothing going on there besides clay festivals, basket shops, abandoned factories, abandoned coal mines, a little farming, Amish furniture stores, cheese houses... pretty country side (the backroads around there are hilly and twisty and fun to drive on) but I couldn't imagine living there..the career opportunities are very limited.

My mom and brother still live in the Gnadenhutten area.. my brother is into pickup trucks, huntin', fishin', and country music, so he's happy there... ,after a couple days there visiting, I'm bored out of my mind so I have to drive 50 miles to get to traces of my familiar suburbia (Starbucks, Borders, Best Buy, Target, etc)...

Edited January 16, 2006 by moltar

[Nick]

I don't think you can just drop in and expect it to happen just like that.  People who go to school there say they have a good time.

BTW, someone said that, within the CA univ syst, resumes from San Diego State and Chico need to be "circular filed" for that very reason.

I dunno, maybe because it was summer and a lot of students were back at home, who knows. I just remember being there and the town seemed kinda low-rent, dumpy, just not a desireable area to be...almost gave off the aura of one of those towns in scary movies where all the people are weird, as is the town...Who knows, maybe we happened to be in a bad part of Chico...the town seemed really small though...like one street. Never saw the university.

[The O.C.]

national brand prices are all the same.  jeans are jeans, but I would say A&F is more popular because they are more expensive.  The image sells.  But I still see plenty of HCO.

Seriously, Cali isn't this strange foreign land.  Come out here and enjoy it.  Get caught up in the culture, and watch the sun set off the pier in Santa Monica.  Drive around Palisades and Malibu, take PCH south to San Diego...seriously...you gotta come out here and experience it for yourselves.  Cali is such an important part of American culture...you gotta see it/experience it at least once.

.....and take a drive down Mulholland Drive....with expansive views of the Valley on one side, and Hollywood and the Ocean on the other side.....

I've lived lots of places (MI, NJ, PA, OK, TX, MO).....and nothing can compare with southern California. Not that other places aren't nice....there are lots of nice places in this country....it's just that California really is like living in paradise (if you can afford it that is.... )

The people aren't as different as you think (hey so many of us came from other places anyways) but the culture, the architecture, the geography, the history (yes...really), and the cool, addictive excitement level brought on by the entertainment industry make SoCal unlike any other city in our country.

The exotic-ism of it all is what made me fall in love with it. It's been 9 years now...and I can't imagine not being able to live here. I'd miss SO much....

[The O.C.]

Yea, use Hella as much as you can. Then you'll be primed for the "better" part of California...anyone who knows California knows NorCal is the way to go if you are going to come here...

Please!....

I'm one that totally DISAGREES. (but no offense to any northerners on here)

I've lived both in the Bay Area, (Danville in the East Bay) and in southern California (Aliso Viejo in The O.C.) and I MUCH prefer living down here.

Why?

Well, first of all....let me say that I LOVE San Francisco....I think it's a world-class city. BUT.......

I like the weather in southern California MUCH better.

People are WAY nicer and friendlier. (Although people in the Bay Area will try to convince you otherwise.) I've met more friends since moving to The O.C. than anywhere else I've ever lived.

Bay Area people ALWAYS rag on L.A. and people in L.A. BUT people down here really NEVER rag on the Bay Area. San Francisco and their residents seem to have a huge inferiority complex with southern California. Let's face it....Los Angeles is the home of our entertainment industry and is a major Pacific Rim city.....and there's over 17million people in the metro area. It's like the "New York" of the west coast.

If you live in the 'burbs up in Northern California, there is almost NOTHING to do culture-wise or party-wise....or good-restaurant-wise. You always had to make the drive into San Francisco to do almost anything social. Down here, in The O.C., you don't HAVE to go to L.A. Maybe because we are close to the beach....or there's more population....but there's LOTS more to do here in the 'burbs than in the Bay Area 'burbs.

The CAR CULTURE! No city in the U.S., not even San Francisco, can match the awe-inspiring car culture in southern California.

It's prettier.....(other than the awe-inspiring beauty of San Francisco ITSELF.) Our mountains are bigger and more majestic, our beaches are way nicer, our cities and suburbs are more distinctive (with the exception, once again, of the CITY of S.F.) even our flora is much more "tropical" (there are not nearly as many palm trees up north for example.)

There's just an energy here that northern California totally lacks. I guess that's it.

[OCcarnut]

Yea, use Hella as much as you can. Then you'll be primed for the "better" part of California...anyone who knows California knows NorCal is the way to go if you are going to come here...

Please!....

Yeah right..it must be the GREAT beaches..oh, sorry thats right...SoCal has those..

It must be the FANTASTIC weather...ooops, thats right, SoCal has that too..

Hmm...all the celebrities that's it....oh, damn, they all live in SoCal..I guess NoCal has Sharon Stone and Robin Williams...I guess SoCal wins that too...

Must be the Car culture...oopps, no I guess SoCal has that too, unless you count all the base C-classes and base 3-series without so much as wheels or tint that all the techies in Silicon Valley drive.

Well, I guess NoCal has a famous bridge, Berkley and an inferiority complex, and if you drive a few hours some nice wine.

[NOS2006]

There was just a lady on the radio from OC.. she was like, "Your radio station is so much better than the ones back home in orange county.. shake ya butt"

The dude was like "No, I wanna see you shake yours." haha

[Nick]

I'm one that totally DISAGREES.  (but no offense to any northerners on here)

I've lived both in the Bay Area, (Danville in the East Bay) and in southern California (Aliso Viejo in The O.C.) and I MUCH prefer living down here.

Why?

Well, first of all....let me say that I LOVE San Francisco....I think it's a world-class city.  BUT.......

I like the weather in southern California MUCH better.

People are WAY nicer and friendlier.  (Although people in the Bay Area will try to convince you otherwise.)  I've met more friends since moving to The O.C. than anywhere else I've ever lived.

Bay Area people ALWAYS rag on L.A. and people in L.A.  BUT people down here really NEVER rag on the Bay Area.  San Francisco and their residents seem to have a huge inferiority complex with southern California.  Let's face it....Los Angeles is the home of our entertainment industry and is a major Pacific Rim city.....and there's over 17million people in the metro area.  It's like the "New York" of the west coast.

If you live in the 'burbs up in Northern California, there is almost NOTHING to do culture-wise or party-wise....or good-restaurant-wise.  You always had to make the drive into San Francisco to do almost anything social.  Down here, in The O.C., you don't HAVE to go to L.A.  Maybe because we are close to the beach....or there's more population....but there's LOTS more to do here in the 'burbs than in the Bay Area 'burbs.

The CAR CULTURE!  No city in the U.S., not even San Francisco, can match the awe-inspiring car culture in southern California.

It's prettier.....(other than the awe-inspiring beauty of San Francisco ITSELF.)  Our mountains are bigger and more majestic, our beaches are way nicer, our cities and suburbs are more distinctive (with the exception, once again, of the CITY of S.F.) even our flora is much more "tropical" (there are not nearly as many palm trees up north for example.)

There's just an energy here that northern California totally lacks.  I guess that's it.

Yeah right..it must be the GREAT beaches..oh, sorry thats right...SoCal has those..

It must be the FANTASTIC weather...ooops, thats right, SoCal has that too..

Hmm...all the celebrities that's it....oh, damn, they all live in SoCal..I guess NoCal has Sharon Stone and Robin Williams...I guess SoCal wins that too...

Must be the Car culture...oopps, no I guess SoCal has that too, unless you count all the base C-classes and base 3-series without so much as wheels or tint that all the techies in Silicon Valley drive.

Well, I guess NoCal has a famous bridge, Berkley and an inferiority complex, and if you drive a few hours some nice wine.

Haha...I was being sarcastic guys...Why would I bash the place I live in? NorCal-ers are the ones that use the term "hella" (or atleast that's what I've gathered) And the reason I said that was to keep more people from coming here...I mean, it is crowded enough...you think we need more people? I know SoCal>NorCal...that's common knowledge, which is why we should send prospective movers up that way...More great SoCal for us

Edited January 16, 2006 by Nick

[The O.C.]

Haha...I was being sarcastic guys...Why would I bash the place I live in? NorCal-ers are the ones that use the term "hella" (or atleast that's what I've gathered) And the reason I said that was to keep more people from coming here...I mean, it is crowded enough...you think we need more people? I know SoCal>NorCal...that's common knowledge, which is why we should send prospective movers up that way...More great SoCal for us

You know I realized that AFTER my post......

They bash on us SO much, I had to get my $0.2 in for all to see on the board....

B)

[Nick]

Heh, seriously...it's actually pretty funny. I go to a Bimmer forum and there are lots of members from California...Every now and then you will see a SoCal vs. NoCal debate pop up in the off topic section. It usually turns into a huge flame war and gets locked, people get timeouts, and it is just crazy. They make it rediculously clear that they are just jealous...

You know what they say...there is NoCal like SoCal :AH-HA_wink:

Edited January 17, 2006 by Nick

[NOS2006]

You know what they say...there is NoCal like SoCal  :AH-HA_wink:

So(?)Cal is nothing without NoCal.

[Nick]

So(?)Cal is nothing without NoCal.

What do you know? You're just from Michigan

[NOS2006]

So what is this whole Nor Cal vs. So Cal riff about?

You asked about 12 seconds before I was about to..

[Nick]

It's a CA thing...Just the SoCal vs. NoCal rivalry that has gone on who knows how long. All Californians know SoCal is superior, both Socal and Nocal. The NoCal-ers will debate it regardless though, just out of jealousy I would assume...We don't give them any crap, but we're always there to defend when sh*t hits the fan

When we do cut ourselves off from the main land and go float out to sea and hang with Hawaii, that is probably when the war will assume. If it doesn't happen sooner that is. Its bound to happen. Its all just a matter of time.

Edited January 17, 2006 by Nick

[OCcarnut]

You know I realized that AFTER my post......

They bash on us SO much, I had to get my $0.2 in for all to see on the board....

B)

Ditto...

[OCcarnut]

so who has some more jokes....