12 Reasons to Prohibit Gay Marriage

[NOS2006]

I actually found this on myspace and laughed my ass off at its absurdity. Especially #8. :lol: 1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. 2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children. 3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful. 5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal. 6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities. 7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children. 11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or a longer lifespan. 12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

[Croc]

hahahahahahahahaha i love it i love it i love it [/Molly Shannon]

[Cory Wolfe]

:lol: Funny... :P

[Sixty8panther]

Wow... somehow, I get this very subtle vibe that he's being sarcastic. I know sounds crazy but it seems like it. :rolleyes: Another reason why gay marrige will not work: No one wants to be a "flower-boy" :P Edited December 15, 2005 by Sixty8panther

[Mach5GTP]

Funny stuff, but if you think about it, some of those "viewpoints" may have been quite popular a few decades ago. Scary stuff. :blink:

[Enzora]

Funny stuff, but if you think about it, some of those "viewpoints" may have been quite popular a few decades ago.  Scary stuff. :blink:

[post="59092"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

A few decades ago? Why do you think that gay marriage still isn't legalized in most states?

[NOS2006]

A few decades ago?  Why do you think that gay marriage still isn't legalized in most states?

[post="59121"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

Pretty much because of #8 on the list..

[sciguy_0504]

Wow... somehow, I get this very subtle vibe that he's being sarcastic. I know sounds crazy but it seems like it. :rolleyes:

Another reason why gay marrige will not work:

No one wants to be a "flower-boy" :P

[post="58990"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

If men are dressing in white gowns then you'd be surprised about the flower boy-thing.

[regfootball]

Perosnally, I'd like to be able to marry and have relations with multiple women.

[sciguy_0504]

Convert to Islam.

[TurboRush]

For some reason, I get the impression that this was written by an 80 year old man that lives out of a trailer with his hound and has no teeth and no wife. Dude's probably been sheltered for a loooong time...

[Sixty8panther]

Actually I think it was written by a sarcastic liberal. A bone-dry sense of humor is a great thing if used correctly. :lol:

[Chris_Doane]

Perosnally, I'd like to be able to marry and have relations with multiple women.

[post="59262"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

http://www.utah.gov/

[regfootball]

islam or utah......hmmmm, neither are great options......the amish bit may work tho

[Cremazie]

It is a satire a good liberal one at that. Just look at Canada and now Britain, once the law passes nobody cares except for very few conservative religious freaks.

[sciguy_0504]

Sigh...