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Posted
Peter: "Don't forget our deal. I sit through this, and later tonight I get anal. No matter how neat I want the house, you have to clean it."

Peter: "Excuse me. Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you...Very homosexually."

Peter: "Jesus loves me
He loves me a bunch
'Cause he always puts Skippy in my lunch."

Airline Pilot "Hey! Only pilots are allowed on the flight deck! You're not a pilot; I'm a pilot...and I know every pilot in the world!"
Posted
Peter: I'll handle it, Brian. I read a book about this sort of thing once. Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing? Peter: Oh yeah.
Posted
Lois: Do you like eating red carpet, huh?! Peter: Yes! Lois: Say it! Peter: I like eating red carpet! --- Doctor: Mr. Griffin, that's not a growth. That's your penis. Peter: Oh. Well, what about the, uh... Doctor: Testicles. Peter: Huh...
Posted
Family Guy Quotes

I could kill a good couple of hours at this site.

-----

Peter: I'll give you $40 for that coffin.
Store Owner: Sir, this casket is $1,000.
Peter: I'll give you $2,000.
Store Owner: Sir, that's double what it costs.
Peter: $60.
Brian (to the store owner): He doesn't know how to haggle.
Posted
Wooops, I posted some family guy carp in my Simpsons thread for nothing.... It's peanut butta Jelly time, peanut butta Jelly time... peanut butta Jelly, peanut butta Jelly, peanut butta Jelly & a baseball bat Where he at? Ohhh, Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Dey he go Dey he go Dey he go! I stil lgo to ebaums world sometimes to just laught at that, when they threw it into F.G. I laughed my ARSE off! :P
Posted
Guest YellowJacket894
Posted
From Peter's Christmas album: "Look at the bells, look at the bells, look at the bells, look at the bells Holy crap, here comes Jesus, and he doesn't look too happy..." "I've brought these gifts for you, they're up in my bum..."
Guest YellowJacket894
Posted
Here's more: Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze." Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea) Peter Griffin: Pea... (he sees a woman crying) Peter Griffin: ... tear... (he sees a Griffin fly by) Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Yeah, yeah. Peter Griffin. Oh, crap. Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.) Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
Posted
I have a good one: Goes something like this. (at the New Yorker) Brian: Oh.. you went to Yale. I'm an Ivy league man myself. I went to Brown Editor: Oh.. my incarcirated ex-business partner's retarded gay niece went to Brown.
Posted

Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

[post="51479"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]



LOL :lol:
Guest YellowJacket894
Posted (edited)
^ That has to be one of the most timeless quotes from Family Guy. Along with... Peter: Brian, there's a message in my alphabet soup! It says "oooo." Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. Edited by anorexorcist
Posted
Peter: *gasp* Optimus Prime is Jewish?!

Peter: Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser!

Brian: Peter, ya know, your judgement lately has been rather...well, you've always had crappy judgement.

Its Peanut Butter Family Guy!
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
Fly: Thanks for posting that.... cheered me up. I'll have to go check out the original on ebaumsworld.com. :lol:
Posted
Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend): Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Posted
Singing: He's Quagmire! Quagmire! You really never know what he's gonna do next! He's Quagmire! Quagmire! Quagmire: Giggity! Giggity! Giggity! Giggity! Let's have sex!
  • 1 month later...

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