Found a great Craigslist read...See if it makes you chuckle

[toesuf94]

http://cedarrapids.craigslist.org/cto/1206301823.html Text of the ad is below in case it gets removed:

For sale is a POS (piece of S---) 1986 Ford Bronco II bought from LEE SWEELEY in Clinton Iowa no more than 8 hours ago. I talked my cousin into driving 93 miles (186 round trip) to go pick up this piece of crap in CLINTON, IOWA yesterday evening. I will try to fill you in on a few things HE left out before I made the hour and a half trip (three hours round trip) wasting a half a tank of gas or more.

First of all, the windshield is cracked clean across the entire thing... which he "forgot to tell (me)" about on the phone after speaking with him several times... or in the series of emails we traded. Apparently wont get you pulled over and ticketed didnt fall into consideration in his definition of being "highway worthy". It was the first thing I noticed among other things wrong with the vehicle that he didnt bother to mention.

Also, the air conditioning is completely removed leaving only a solitary hose pathetically flopping about under the hood like a useless, flaccid... something or other. Cant wait for July. Must have just slipped ole LEE SWEELEY's mind?

In addition, the truck is not actually "rust free" as stated in the description (due to it being a "California vehicle"... actually sold to him from the owner, who according to the title is from Wisconsin).

Also, the interior is a lovely multicolored wreck which looks like it was thrown up on by a chameleon on acid. The interior door panels are tan on one side, and light grey on the other, with some maroon thrown in for good measure. The drivers seat is a red maroon, and loosely fastened to the floor. The passenger seat is tan, and completely different shaped than the drivers. The back seats look like someone may very well have birthed a child in them. As my wife put it, "it looks like a bird crapped all over them." The dash has been highly customized in "Realtree" camouflage. I'm pretty sure I went cross-eyed there for a minute trying to figure out which of the many color schemes were original to the vehicle, as Dolly Parton's 1983 hit single "Coat of Many Colors" wailed through my head. None of the aforementioned qualities were apparently worth mentioning in advance of my Ninety-Three mile trek across Iowa to see it.

Rather notable was the radiator fan, which without a functional fan clutch sounds like a 747 taking off from the bottom of the grand canyon. Another convenient oversight on "Honest" LEE SWEELEY'S part... although in his opinion this makes the Bronco sound kinda "Bad"... in a good way, of course.

It might also be worth mentioning, that in true party wagon fashion-- this bad boy has a dome light that flashes like a full on *strobe light* in conjunction with even the slightest variation in pressure placed on the gas pedal while going down the road. What genius of engineering can this possibly be attributed to you ask? The fact that the tailgate refuses to fully close and latch even when chop blocked in tandem by two fully grown men with a total combined weight of at least 350 lbs. In light of this modern marvel I am considering throwing in a *miniature disco ball*, to dangle from the tattered headliner-- free of charge to the next lucky buyer.

And just an off the cuff thought-- I guess it really isnt that much of a hassle to have to double clutch if you really want to get into second gear. But might have been nice to know about any variation from a normally functioning clutch before, oh, a ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SIX MILE ROUND TRIP EXCURSION.

To his credit, ole LEE SWEELEY of CLINTON IOWA did tell me that the power brake booster seemed to be out, and I believe him judging by the sinister hissing coming from the area around the break pedal anytime you dare put your feet in its vicinity and press on it. He told me "the brakes work fine, you just have to push a little harder on them to get them to work." Admittedly, trying to push the pedal THROUGH the floorboard did seem to result in some deceleration and eventually a stop. My cousin also found it slowed down ALOT faster if you downshifted at high RPM's to the point that the tires chirped happily down interstate I-80.

He also threw in "a box of goodies" which he had me fetch from his garage, including the original steering wheel which had been replaced by some sort of 3 spoke racing wheel to match the custom T-shaped metallic red custom shifter which was molded stylishly to fit the contours of the driver's hand. Also included was a chrome colored differential cover, and some other unidentified crap to throw in the back just in case the POS didnt already rattle enough. I had to hold off on the rusty winch and brush guard he tried to throw in for an extra $100 so I could afford to replace the broken windshield. He also offered to throw in the original seat, to which I asked," How come its not in there now?" He then replied, "'Cause its broke." After thoughtful consideration, I respectfully declined.

But hey, I'm sure some lucky buyer will get it out into some mud one of these days to find out ole honest Lee Sweeley couldnt tell a lie about the four wheel drive working. I'm sure it really does.

So... who wants to own this one of a kind gem at the bargain price of $600? If you are any less than 186 miles round trip away you will have gotten it cheaper than I did! And since me and the Karma Chameleon have come this far-- just like ole Lee Sweeley I want $600... "no more no less!"

I still want to know why the guy bought it...but still a great read!

[Justin Bimmer]

I have been to Clinton Iowa.

In fact, Clinton Iowa is my go-to name for a hick town in the midwest.

[G. David Felt]

WOW, Some people are amazing that they would even consider wasting 600 on a POS like this.

[XP715]

Ummm it's funny but are we supposed to feel bad about his experience by reading it? So what if he pissed away a few hours of his life and a tank of gas to see it. Nobody held a gun to his head and made him buy it once he got there and saw it was a complete turdwagon.

[Robert Hall]

That's pretty funny...I managed to get $1500 out of my '88 Bronco II (even w/ the rust and broken drivers' seat, etc) when I traded back in '00...seems like long ago and far away...

[toesuf94]

Ummm it's funny but are we supposed to feel bad about his experience by reading it? So what if he pissed away a few hours of his life and a tank of gas to see it. Nobody held a gun to his head and made him buy it once he got there and saw it was a complete turdwagon.

Oh I don't find myself feeling sorry for the guy at all - in fact I am shocked that they bought it and drove it home after looking at it. What is even more shocking is that the story is fairly well written and VERY entertaining from such an obviously confused person...I mean, did the guy LOOK at it BEFORE he handed over the cash? Then go so far as to admit to it on Craigslist!

Almost as bad as the guy that posted the fact that he was suffering from Olestra poisoning from eating 4 tubes of Pringles with Olean in them that was posted earlier this week!

[Robert Hall]

Oh I don't find myself feeling sorry for the guy at all - in fact I am shocked that they bought it and drove it home after looking at it. What is even more shocking is that the story is fairly well written and VERY entertaining from such an obviously confused person...I mean, did the guy LOOK at it BEFORE he handed over the cash? Then go so far as to admit to it on Craigslist!

Almost as bad as the guy that posted the fact that he was suffering from Olestra poisoning from eating 4 tubes of Pringles with Olean in them that was posted earlier this week!

Would have been cool if it had been the same guy...the Olestra article is the funniest thing I've read in a while. Reality-based poo humour never goes stale, IMHO.

[A Horse With No Name]

Like the old story goes, when it comes to selling cars, people lie.

Back in my Mustang years I went to look at a Boss 351, which is a low production (about 1800 made) 4 speed 1971 model year only car.

Got there, and checked the Vin...car was a 1973 that originally came with a 302 and an automatic.

Guy did however have two 57 Olds ragtops that were nice, one with tripower....and THAT made the trip worthwhile.

But people lie about cars every day and all the time.

Rust free usually means that all of the rust on the car is thrown in for free.

Chris

[Camino LS6]

Moron.

[z28luvr01]

He drove an hour and a half to buy a Bronco II. False advertising or not, he deserved what he got.

[ocnblu]

Maybe he misread the ad. Maybe he thought it was 2 Broncos for the price, not 1 Bronco II.

[daves87rs]

[longtooth]

WOW, Some people are amazing that they would even consider wasting 600 on a POS like this.

Fool me once.

And I've had enough.

Had a few used-car lemons or cars of questionable virtue in my time. Two being memorable for the length of time it took to straighten-out every last kink.

Since then I know going-in that the purchase of a used vehicle means that you've stepped to the head-of-the-line, and paid-for no less, the privilege of repairing (if you really want it to run right) someone else's heartache.

Caveat emptor.

[mustang84]

One of my best friends from college is originally from Clinton and I will be going there tomorrow. I'll have to ask him if he knows this Lee Sweeley guy.