Why Modern Country Music Sucks

[Cory Wolfe]

"Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care bout the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)"

:blink:

[Guest Josh]

Country music is great music. I listen to it all the time and am currently enjoying Big and Richs new CD. I love country. Also, I hope Garth Brooks goes on one more national tour. Man, that would be awesome!

[Cory Wolfe]

Well, country music isn't all bad, but songs like "Honky tonk badonkadonk" just make me say "WTF?!"I mean... Badonkadonk? Slap your grandma? Got it goin on like donkey kong? Britches? Country music... when drugs are involved, maybe. I was always a fan of Garth Brooks, though. Some powerful songs...

[Robert Hall]

I've always been a rock fan primarily, but I do like some country..Garth Brooks and Lyle Lovett for more recent, as well as classic guys like Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson.

[mustang84]

I've never really gotten into country, but I dig this song by Commander Cody:

My pappy said, "Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin'
If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln."

Have you heard this story of the Hot Rod Race
When Fords and Lincolns was settin' the pace.
That story is true, I'm here to say
I was drivin' that Model A.

It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up.
That Model A body makes it look like a pup.
It's got eight cylinders; uses them all.
It's got overdrive, just won't stall.

With a 4-barrel carb and a dual exhaust,
With 4.11 gears you can really get lost.
It's got safety tubes, but I ain't scared.
The brakes are good, tires fair.

Pulled out of San Pedro late one night
The moon and the stars was shinin' bright.
We was drivin' up Grapevine Hill
Passing cars like they was standing still.

All of a sudden in a wink of an eye
A Cadillac sedan passed us by.
I said, "Boys, that's a mark for me!"
By then the taillight was all you could see.

Now the fellas was ribbin' me for bein' behind,
So I thought I'd make the Lincoln unwind.
Took my foot off the gas and man alive,
I shoved it on down into overdrive.

Wound it up to a hundred-and-ten
My speedometer said that I hit top end.
My foot was blue, like lead to the floor.
That's all there is and there ain't no more.

Now the boys all thought I'd lost my sense
And telephone poles looked like a picket fence.
They said, "Slow down! I see spots!
The lines on the road just look like dots."

Took a corner; sideswiped a truck,
Crossed my fingers just for luck.
My fenders was clickin' the guardrail posts.
The guy beside me was white as a ghost.

Smoke was comin' from out of the back
When I started to gain on that Cadillac.
Knew I could catch him, I thought I could pass.
Don't you know by then we'd be low on gas?

We had flames comin' from out of the side.
Feel the tension. Man! What a ride!
I said, "Look out, boys, I've got a license to fly!"
And that Caddy pulled over and let us by.

Now all of a sudden she started to knockin',
And down in the dips she started to rockin'.
I looked in my mirror; a red light was blinkin'
The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln!

They arrested me and they put me in jail.
And called my pappy to throw my bail.
And he said, "Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin'
If you don't stop drivin' that Hot... Rod... Lincoln!"

[Flybrian]

Modern country sucks because it tries to be pop, hip-hop, and rock but with the words 'ya'll', 'cowboy', 'boots', or 'pickup truck' thrown in every now and then. Granted, there are quite a few contemporary standouts (the Whiskey Lullaby duet with Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss is one in my mind), but that's sadly countered by mindless crossover crap like Over and Over Again.

I like some of the modern, I like some of the few-years-old, but the classics are still, well, classic. Give George Jones' Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes? a listen. Its not only a great song, but one that makes alot of sense nowadays.

[sciguy_0504]

I've started getting into country recently. Kind of scary but I can only listen to the more mainstream country, nothing really too country, if you know what I mean.

[z28luvr01]

(the Whiskey Lullaby duet with Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss is one in my mind

Alison Krauss is awesome. I would have to put her in the top three female voices out there. One of these days I'm going to break down and get a CD of hers.

[ocnblu]

Agreed, z, I'd have to have some sort of breakdown too before I'd buy any new country.

"Seven Year Ache" by Rosanne Cash is one of my alltime favourite songs, and I like "Seminole Wind" by... was it John Anderson? And who doesn't love Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man" or "D-I-V-O-R-C-E"? Or George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today"? Then of course there's Glen Campbell's "Wichita Lineman" and Tanya Tucker's "Delta Dawn"... oh and I think Dolly Parton sang "Jolene", another classic. Then you've got Patsy Cline's "Crazy"... wow, all good stuff. Edited November 23, 2005 by ocnblu

[Chief]

A "badonkadonk" is a honky tonk term for a part of a chicks ass that hangs out of her shorts or skirt. I'd heard this term quite a bit when I was a bouncer. And saying one song is the reason why a whole genre of music sucks is like saying that GM sucks because they sold the Aztec. Chief

[Cadillacfan]

I don't like country. Never did. Never will. It's just not my thing.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

I don't much care for country music. Why? I hate how a lap steel guitar moans every 5 seconds in a dastardly sarcastic way and I hate how damn cheezy the lyrics are. I do like and respect Johnny Cash, though. But I really don't consider him country. He was signed to pretty much a rock label (American), and he covered two rock tunes ("Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden and "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails). And I don't recall him ever having a damn lap steel guitar in a song. Can and will Brooks & Dunn do that? Hell no.

[chris]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_music

it's good™

[knightfan26917]

*grins devilishly*

Want some country? Try out these songs....(and this is only a PARTIAL list...he he he)


"I wanna drive" ... Trace Adkins ... '(Her Favorite Color Is) Chrome'

"Who's gonna hold me tonight?" ... Trace Adkins ... 'Help Me Understand'

"Enough is enough, I can't take anymore" ... Alabama ... 'Can't Keep A Good Man Down'

"I know I told you that I could survive" ... Deborah Allen ... 'Baby I Lied'

"We're outta here" ... Steve Azar ... 'I Don't Have To Be Me 'Til Monday'

"Hood slidin' like Bo Duke"...Dierks Bently...'What Was I Thinking?'

"We've misplaced feelings that we used to know" ... John Berry ... 'Standing On The Edge Of Goodbye'

"We missed a page or 2 somehow" ... Suzy Boggus ... 'Cinderella'

"Heaven knows how long it's been since I felt so out of place" ... Garth Brooks ... 'Learning To Live Again'

"What kind of love keeps breaking a heart?" ... Brooks & Dunn ... 'Long Goodbye'

"Where have you gone?" ... Glen Campbell ... 'Still Within The Sound Of My Voice'

"Just when I think that I can make it without you, you come around & say you want me now" ... Rosanne Cash ... 'I Don't Know Why You Don't Want Me'

"The stars might lie, but the numbers never do" ... Mary Chapin-Carpenter ... 'I Feel Lucky'

"We all have a song that somehow touched our lives" ... Kenney Chesney ... 'I Go Back'

"How can anybody be so lucky?" ... John Conlee ... 'Domestic Life'

"If you'll hand me my crayons, I'll be glad to take your name" ... John Conlee ... 'I Don't Remember Loving You'

"After so many dreams have fallen through, it's time that 1 came true" ... Earl Thomas Conley ... 'Nobody Falls Like A Fool'

"There's things goin' on make me mad down to the core" ... Charlie Daniels ... 'Simple Man'

"Put off today what you can do tomorrow, sometimes you don’t do the thing" ... Diamond Rio ... 'In A Week Or 2'

"My arms are wide open & will always be" ... Emerson Drive ... 'Fall Into Me'

"Time will heal the pain" ... Exile ... 'Even Now'

"You have to try again" ... Janie Fricke ... 'You Don't Know Love'

"Waiting to be mended like a potter would mend a broken vase" ... Larry Gatlin & The Gatlin Brothers ... 'Broken Lady'

"There must be a reason for this pain I’m going through" ... Merle Haggard ... 'A Better Love Next Time'

"I should ask, but I won't" ... Rebecca Lynn Howard ... 'Forgive'

"I'd try to run, but I don't think I can" ... Waylon Jennings ... 'Ain't Living Long Like This"

"It's not the car I want" ... George Jones ... 'The Corvette Song'

"I ain't ready for the junkyard yet" ... George Jones ... 'I Don't Need Your Rocking Chair'

"We all do the best we can" ... Blain Larson ... 'How Do You Get That Lonely?'

"Chances that a fool takes, never knowing when to stop" ... Johnny Lee ... 'You Could've Heard A Heart Break'

"Those might be the best days we will ever know" ... Little Texas ... 'What Might've Been'

"I don't know where we'll go, but it beats where we're at" ... Lonestar ... 'What About Now'

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot where I was" ... Patty Loveless ... 'I Try To Think About Elvis'

"Walking back into my life" ... Kathy Mattea ... 'Walking Away A Winner'

"I know you can hear me, but I'm not sure you're listening" ... Martina McBride ... 'Whatever You Say'

"Let freedom ring" ... Martina McBride ... 'Independence Day'

"How could I be so blind?" ... Charly McClain ... 'Who's Cheating Who'

"Back in 1876 an old boy named Bell invented a contraption that we know so well" ... Reba McEntire ... 'Why Haven't I Heard From You?'

"Time is a friend" ... Reba McEntire ... 'Is There Life Out There?'

"A little vacation, ain't asking very much" ... Tim McGraw ... 'All I Want Is A Life'

"Got a lead foot down on my accelerator" ... Jodee Messina ... 'Bye Bye Bye'

"It goes so fast" ... Jodee Messina ... 'Was That My Life?'

"What I really need is an open road" ... Montgomery Gentry ... 'Speed'

"There's a place for memories" ... Gary Morris ... 'Don't Look Back'

"I've always seen myself as a hopeless romantic" ... Gary Morris & Crystal Gayle ... 'Another World'

"I never meant to leave you alone" ... Michael Martin Murphy ... 'Don't Count The Rainy Days'

"But those days are gone" ... Anne Murray ... 'Time Don't Run Out On Me'

"The life I love is making music with my friends" ... Willie Nelson ... 'On The Road Again'

"Never thought you'd be the one in the darkness now" ... Juice Newton ... 'Old Flame'

"Wondering...why I even care" ... Nitty Gritty Dirt Band ... 'Modern Day Romance'

"Someday tomorrow will smile" ... Oak Ridge Boys ... 'Dream On'

"Where do you begin?" ... Dolly Parton ... 'Starting Over Again'

"You better not try to stand in my way" ... J Paycheck ... 'Take This Job & Shove It'

"I argue with my conscience" ... Charlie Pride ... 'Shouldn't It Be Easier Than This?'

"I'm testing my resistance & it's wearing mighty thin" ... Eddie Rabbitt ... 'Every Which Way But Loose'

"Life has been patiently waiting for me" ... Rascal Flatts ... 'I'm Moving On'

"I could never get enough" ... Eddy Raven ... 'I Could Use Another You'

"Without you, I'm not me" ... Colin Raye ... 'Little Rock'

"This is not where you belong" ... Restless Heart ... 'Why Does It Have To Be (Wrong or Right)?"

"Something's haunting you" ... Marty Robbins ... 'Some Memories Just Won't Die'

"Every hands a winner & every hands a loser" ... Kenny Rogers ... 'The Gambler'

"This heart is gonna mend just fine" ... Sawyer Brown ... 'This Night Won't Last Forever'

"I may lose the battle, but I love the fight" ... John Schneider ... 'Love, You Ain't Seen The Last Of Me'

"It hurts to feel like such a fool" ... Dan Seals ... 'Addicted'

"I should've done what I'm going to do a long time ago" ... Joel Sonnier ... 'No More 1 More Time'

"What happened next is hard to tell" ... Ray Stevens ... 'Mississippi Squirrel Revival'

"I got 1 shot left" ... Sylvia ... 'Nobody'

"Things have changed since you've been gone" ... Pam Tillis ... 'Land Of The Living'

"I'm in a state of confusion, I hope things aren't what they seem" ... Travis Tritt ... 'Tell Me I Was Dreaming'

"Your heart is in serious danger" ... Tanya Tucker & T Graham Brown ... 'Don't Go Out'

"Just for a moment I held you too close, now I’m all out of time & I don’t want to let go" ... Steve Wariner ... 'The Weekend'

"Don’t you knock on my door, I won’t be home anymore" ... Jennifer Warnes ... 'I Know A Heartache When I See 1'

"The only thing changing is my way of thinking" ... Dottie West ... 'A Lesson in Leaving'

"I kept my heart hidden" ... Bryan White ... 'So Much For Pretending'

"How much longer will they be around?" ... Don Williams ... 'Old Coyote Town'

"I wouldn't trade those days for nothin'" ... Mark Wills ... '19 something'

"I thought that time would cure" ... Tom Wopat ... 'A Little Bit Closer'

"Watch over them for me" ... Daryl Worley ... 'If Something Should Happen'

"I'm a little nervous, not sure if I shoulda put it in writing" ... Chely Wright ... 'Single White Female'

"I ain't up to being strong now" ... Wynonna ... 'Is It Over Yet'


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
Models.HO = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/trainroom.html
"I wonder if it's too late" ... Nickelback ... 'Photograph'

[tmp]

I'm sorry, read the lyrics to "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas and tell me there's a country music song that's worse.........

[2005 EquinoxLS]

I am not a fan of country fan myself. It should have died 25 years ago. Most of it is about the same things. I lost my dog, my wife and/or I drive an old Ford pick up truck.

[ocnblu]

My mama's prison bus stalled on the tracks and a train hit it. My dog ran away with my best friend and my wife so I got drunk and woke up next to some ugly chick. Take this job and shove it. Why ain't the bars open on Thanksgiving so I can drown my troubles in some Jack and drive my pickup truck into a tree and end up getting a ride home from some honkytonk chick in a '74 Cadillac.

I could move to Nashville. :AH-HA_wink:

[the_yellow_dart]

You'll see it creeping into rock more and more. Check out the song "Take My Money and Run" by a little Canadian band called Cuff The Duke. Great little quirky rock quartet. This song sounds like Johnny Cash came back to life to write one more catchy song for us all.

[Cory Wolfe]

A "badonkadonk" is a honky tonk term for a part of a chicks ass that hangs out of her shorts or skirt. I'd heard this term quite a bit when I was a bouncer.

And saying one song is the reason why a whole genre of music sucks is like saying that GM sucks because they sold the Aztec.

Chief

Well, country music isn't all bad, but...

No, it doesn't all suck, but the majority of modern country music does suck. It just isn't what country is all about. Classic country is great. I actually can listen to that because it's holds mostly true to what it's about. But most of this newer crap is just that, crap. Since Brookville is 95% redneck, I have to listen to this stuff. Everywhere. At parties, at relatives, in family vehicles, in school, on the bus, with friends. It's easy to identify that most new stuff isn't true. Still, that is only most, not all. There are some great modern country songs. Most of Garth Brooks' songs are great. Toby Keith's aren't that bad. That Whiskey Lulliby song is amazing. There are more that aren't all that bad either that I'm not familiar with...

And yes, I love to use italics... :P

I'm sorry, read the lyrics to "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas and tell me there's a country music song that's worse.........

Oh... it's just as bad. No, it's worse but I'm not a fan of that genre of music. Going up in Brookville, I sorta am of country, but most modern country music makes me shake my head...

[aaaantoine]

I don't much care for country music. Why? I hate how a lap steel guitar moans every 5 seconds in a dastardly sarcastic way and I hate how damn cheezy the lyrics are.

I do like and respect Johnny Cash, though. But I really don't consider him country. He was signed to pretty much a rock label (American), and he covered two rock tunes ("Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden and "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails). And I don't recall him ever having a damn lap steel guitar in a song.

Can and will Brooks & Dunn do that? Hell no.

[post="47145"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

My sentiments exactly. I dislike Country music for the same reasons, and also find Johnny Cash to be an interesting musician.

I have a copy of Johnny Cash singing "Personal Jesus". It's a much more entertaining cover than Marilyn Manson's.

[aaaantoine]

I'm sorry, read the lyrics to "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas and tell me there's a country music song that's worse.........

[post="47269"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

That song's just hilarious. It's so stupid it's somehow enjoyable.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

Sorry, but every memeber of the Black-Eyed Peas deserves, well, a big, fat black eye. Let's face it, to get to the good music, you have to sift through the crap. And there is crap in every genre.

[razoredge]

I was into country in the mid 90's when all the rock quitarists forgot how to play the guitar or at least aimed to prove it didnt matter if you knew how but was more important as to how close to your knees you could hang it along with your pants and jump up every 10 seconds like you were on a pogo stick. Anyhow :rolleyes: When I listened to country everything was right in my life. Now I cant because it reminds me of what I need to forget. The truely great country lyrics are some of the best storys or clever little phrases, not cheezy by any means, such as lets say......rap. Music treatment is quite mature as well, less is more, every little piece can be heard its not all lost in some puddle of mud, plus the musicians are actually talented. that song John Micheal Montgomery (if I have that correct) did about the girl he saw at the auction, I though was extremely cleverly creative. Its still one of my favorites