An embarrassing / heartwrenching situation

[trinacriabob]

Ok, you are in a supermarket or at Costco or in a large office building.

You are walking around a corner or going down the aisle and you almost run into / come face-to-face with a person who has a disease which has disfigured them, have been severely burned or subjected to some other tragedy that has markedly altered their appearance. Because of the fact that you were taken off guard and you were hurrying about, you would have ordinarily tried to be very composed, but I think that what happens is that you may make eye contact and then look away a little TOO quickly. You wind up feeling real bad. But you also know that others, in similar circumstances, may have reacted in a similar manner.

I continue to do my shopping or run my errand. I almost wish I had never set foot in the store at the same time. I will usually say a quick prayer once I get into my car....for them, for me, for whomever.

Have you had this happen to you?

[ocnblu]

Happens to me all the time when I try on sunglasses and look into that little mirror.

[trinacriabob]

Happens to me all the time when I try on sunglasses and look into that little mirror.

This time, I wasn't trying to be funny.

[ocnblu]

K sry.

[Croc]

No I know what you mean. You're always taught not to stare, so you look away really quickly, but at the same time it could be misconstrued as thinking they're "untouchable," which they obviously are not.

For you it's the disfigured, for me it's kids with cancer. Some things you just try not to think too much about because it's so twisted, yet when confronted with a startling situation IRL you lose your composure so quickly.

[ocnblu]

Some dip$h! in a Corolla rear ended an old guy driving his wife's Aura. He brought it in to us today, with light damage to the bumper and rear body panel. I was going to schedule him to return for repairs on December 15th, but when he said his terminally ill (cancer) wife wanted to go to Virginia one last time (in her own car) to visit her sister, I called for a rental car right away so we could try and squeeze the car into our schedule and get it done for them ASAP so they can make their trip. I hope we get it done in time. The old guy almost had me bawling. Life can be so unfair. Edited December 3, 2008 by ocnblu

[daves87rs]

I try not to, as I have worked with people who have been disfigured, so I am pretty used to it....

[capriceman]

Actually I rarely notice these types of people, but then again i have very little emotion over anything. probably less now. So many people i have respected and looked up to seem to be dieing off. I found out some one close to me was diagnosed with cancer. The only thing i think of is Life goes on.

[ZL-1]

For you it's the disfigured, for me it's kids with cancer. Some things you just try not to think too much about because it's so twisted, yet when confronted with a startling situation IRL you lose your composure so quickly.

so true...

[saturnd00d]

I work in a hospital that is primarily a children's hospital, and I see children all the time that have diseased and disfigurements all the time. It saddens me to no end, which is why I try not to leave my office too much on breaks or lunches.

For me, nothing is worse than seeing a child who you know is having chemotherapy (lack of hair, pale looking, etc.) but yet is trying to have fun, laughing, playing, etc. It seems so unfair.

[ZL-1]

For me, nothing is worse than seeing a child who you know is having chemotherapy (lack of hair, pale looking, etc.) but yet is trying to have fun, laughing, playing, etc. It seems so unfair.

It gets to me, but sometimes when there's a report on TV about a children's hospital I see those kids do seem able to play and laugh even though they are in such aa situation, even when weakened by chemotherapy... and that ability to just smile is simply incredible and heart-warming! We grown ups could learn something when we put those kid's smiles against our complaints about the small and often petty things in our lives.

Edited December 3, 2008 by ZL-1

[trinacriabob]

I've volunteered in hospitals, nursing homes and battered women's shelters, so I've seen most of it. My parents always taught me not to be mean or make fun of those people since I could be in a situation similar to theirs one day. Just remember they're people just like you and don't be too judgmental.

Oh, I totally know where you're coming from. My parents taught me the same thing.

In my initial post, I was noting the slight "startle" one experiences when there isn't "enough" time to prepare. It's how "unfair" it is that startles us, I think. I think that some people so afflicted are, deep down, stronger than we are, on many levels.

[Croc]

For me, nothing is worse than seeing a child who you know is having chemotherapy (lack of hair, pale looking, etc.) but yet is trying to have fun, laughing, playing, etc. It seems so unfair.

Yup. I can't stomach it. And I can't even use my default coping mechanism, humor, because that's just not appropriate. So denial of existence, my back-up, it is.