I Lost My Father And My Friend

[Oracle of Delphi]

This will be the first time in my life, I'll celebrate the upcoming Holidays without my father. My father died yesterday morning, and a piece of me died with him.

It's funny, when I was a small child my father's word was law in our house, and I feared him. As a teen, I defied him, as a young adult in my 20's, I understood him and respected him, and as I entered my 30's, my father became my friend.

As the eldest child of three boys, I feel lucky in the fact that I had the most time with my father. Time I would not trade for all the money in the world.

My father and I had a simple and loving relationship, you see he suffered a devastating stroke last year which left him paralyzed on one side and almost unable to to speak. I watched him go through a lot of speech and physical therapy sessions in the last year, he did regain some speech back, but he was not back by any means to where he was before the stroke. Sometimes I think God sends things your way to humble you, not so much to humble my father, because he was a good man, but more to the point of humbling me.

But there were more good times than bad. My father loved to fish, and he tried to instill that love in us boys, but I am a Gemini, which means I get bored easily, and after about waiting 15 minutes with no bite on the line, I convinced my brother to go look for bugs with me, and I set the rod down, when we returned the rod was nowhere to be found, you see biggest darn fish you ever saw took the bait and pulled the rod out into the lake. My father must have cast 100 times into that lake, until he actually hooked the rod and pulled it and the fish to shore.

My father left me wonderful gifts that will sustain me throughout the rest of my life, my passion for nature, my curiosity about life, and my hunger for knowledge, these I will always treasure.

As my father lay dying in the hospital yesterday, I whispered in his ear I Love You Dad! He tried to say it back to me, but he was too weak. I said I know Dad, I've always known.

I will miss him more than he will ever know.

Edited November 9, 2008 by Pontiac Custom-S

[ocnblu]

I'm sorry, PCS. Back when you and I were on better terms, I remember conversations about him.

[gmcbob]

I'm sorry about your loss PCS.

[vonVeezelsnider]

I'm so sorry to hear this, my Grandfather has been in a not too good way lately with his heart failing and it looking like they may need to remove an entire lung as a result of lung cancer so I can only imagine how you must feel and what you must be going through.

Stay strong.

[ehaase]

I am sorry about your loss. I lost my father in 1995, and I still miss him.

[Intrepidation]

We talked briefly about this last night, I'm very sorry about your loss, and my thoughts are with you PCS.

[z28luvr01]

I'm so terribly sorry, B. Your father sounds like a great man, and I'm sure he's proud of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If you need anything, let me know.

[Paolino]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[!!!TED!!!]

My deepest condolences.

May your father rest in peace.

[trinacriabob]

Hey, Borger, I am very sorry.

I was touched by your story, as you tend to, at other times, be flip, so I knew this was from your heart.

It sounds like you had your power struggles with your dad. This is an area I am VERY familiar with. However, my dad alternated between being a disciplinarian and my friend. At times, I thought the discipline was excessive, so I lashed back with fury he wasn't expecting.

You use the astrological analysis, so, if you follow the stereotypes of certain signs, he was a Leo (also short and having the same b-day as Napoleon) and I'm a Sagittarius (the "eff you" sign), you can imagine how two strong-willed people got along.

But you've got things he taught you and I am sure he appreciated many qualities in you. For me, the positive things are that my dad liked anything having to do with culture and geography, having lived in Australia, Europe and both coasts of North America. He'd also been to Africa. So he passed that on. When we went to Europe by ship, he'd lift me up onto the railing high enough so I could see Lisbon, Gibraltar or Genoa. He thought everyone was a "trip" and disliked sterile people, starting up conversations with people on ships, trains and planes. My Mom tells me I'm just like him.

The good memories, and faith that they are in a better place, enable us to carry on. So, he, you and your family are in my prayers.

[Chazman]

Sorry for your loss PCS.

[loki]

sorry to hear borger.

[2005 EquinoxLS]

Sorry for your loss. I can certainly relate to you and growing up with Dad. My Dad too was THE law when I was growing up. Some of it was extreme but leter on things got better and in the last few years we too did a lot of things together. My love of B-bodies comes from my dad. Or most anything GM as far as that goes. My dad understood that the only way to get ahead was through work. My dad died June 7th 2007, about 2 months and 7 days before him and Mom and I were to move into our new house that was being built since the old one was going to be torn down. His death was pretty sudden within 2 weeks. Its bean over a year and myself and my sister think about it each and every day. Good luck to you and your family.

[Croc]

So sorry for your loss, PCS.

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I know we disagree a lot here, but your father raised a smart man and you should be proud.

He'll always be with you in spirit, and I'm a firm believer that we'll all meet our loved ones again when our time here is over.

[Lamar]

Sorry to hear, Borger.

I know you'll always miss him, but it's good to know that he's not in pain anymore.

[mustang84]

Sorry to hear about your dad, PCS. I haven't had to go through the loss of a parent yet and don't know how I will handle it when it happens. Just know that you'll always have your memories...your dad may be physically gone, but he will live on in your thoughts. As kids, we don't really appreciate the wisdom and care that our parents give until it finally dawns on us in their final years. I wish you and your family the best in this difficult time.

[Robert Hall]

I'm very sorry about your loss, and my thoughts are with you PCS.. I lost my father in 1999 on Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma when I was 29..wish I had had more time to spend with him as an adult... he was 50 when I was born, retired at 55, so I did get alot of time w/ him growing up..

[Camino LS6]

A sad day for you Borger, I know.

I remember when the stroke happened, and we spoke on the phone at length about this. The loss of your father is striking in a way that other losses simply are not. I send my condolences to you and yours in a difficult time.

As one who does understand just how this feels, I remind you that you have my number.

Use it if you feel the need - I'll be here.

[knightfan26917]

Aye, PCS ... very sorry for your loss.

Very nice tribute that you wrote here to share with us.

Thoughts/prayers coming to you and your family....

Cort | 35swm | "Mr Monte Carlo"."Mr Road Trip" | pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"My time here is over" ... Patty Loveless ... 'How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?'

[regfootball]

God bless him. My condolences to your family. From what you describe, he was a strong man and great man.

[MikeyMo84]

obviously im not as close to you as some of the other people on here but it always hurts to know that a good person is going through some tough times...may ur father rest in peace and my prayers are with you and ur fam...he made you into the person you are today so always cherish the memories....god bless

[Nick]

Wow man...I'm very sorry to hear of this. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

[Oracle of Delphi]

I thank y'all for your words of encouragement and prayers. For those that don't know, my father was in one of the best facilities for Stroke victims in the country, which also happens to be in Delaware, near my home here.

Today I will be flying with his body, back home to Plano, Texas, which is where my parent's home is, and where I grew up. There will be a Funeral Mass in Latin offered for him on Wednesday. That night we three boys will take my mother to St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands, which is where my parents have a vacation home, to spend time with my mother in the place my father loved so much. I am taking at least a week off to be with her. After that, I have a feeling I will throw myself into my work for a while, so if you don't hear from me in a while, not to worry, I just need some time to adjust and decompress, for how ever long that takes me. Until then ...

Edited November 10, 2008 by Pontiac Custom-S

[Sixty8panther]

That's terrible, you have our condolences.

I know exactly what you mean about "understanding" your

dad in your 20s. On the bright side, that's great had an

opportunity to bond w/ him as a friend in the past few years.

All the best dude.

[MikeyMo84]

That's terrible, you have our condolences.

I know exactly what you mean about "understanding" your

dad in your 20s. On the bright side, that's great had an

opportunity to bond w/ him as a friend in the past few years.

All the best dude.

i agree...when i was younger me and my dad fought all the time over everything...now that ive grown and matured we really get along better than ever and i wouldnt trade my dad for anyone in the world

[ZL-1]

My most heart-felt condolences, B. I am very, very sorry for your loss. Him, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong not only for yourself, but for your mom as well. She'll need you guys to be her emotional foundation for a while.

[A Horse With No Name]

Wow...my dad lives out of state and I miss him. I can't even imagine loosing him.

Chris

[The O.C.]

I thank y'all for your words of encouragement and prayers. For those that don't know, my father was in one of the best facilities for Stroke victims in the country, which also happens to be in Delaware, near my home here.

Today I will be flying with his body, back home to Plano, Texas, which is where my parent's home is, and where I grew up. There will be a Funeral Mass in Latin offered for him on Wednesday. That night we three boys will take my mother to St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands, which is where my parents have a vacation home, to spend time with my mother in the place my father loved so much. I am taking at least a week off to be with her. After that, I have a feeling I will throw myself into my work for a while, so if you don't hear from me in a while, not to worry, I just need some time to adjust and decompress, for how ever long that takes me. Until then ...

I'll say a little prayer for you and your family tonight, PCS........

Hurry back to us soon.....

[daves87rs]

Borger, I'm so sorry...

My most heart felt condolences and prayer go out to you and your family in this tough time.

It's one of the hardest things one has to do in life......

Stay strong, take care, and we'll see you soon.....

[VenSeattle]

PCS, I am very sorry to hear about this. I've been offline for a week due to work and didn't know this happened. Please take care of your family and yourself. I lost my father when I was young and pretty much never knew him. Continue cherishing your memories with him and be thankful for the time well spent. My sympathy is with you and your family.

[gm4life]

PCS I know we don't agree on everything. But certainly we each love GM alot. I wish you nothing but the best and am sending my best wishes and thoughts to you and your family. Your dad sounds alot like my father. Alot of my passion for GM cars came from my dad. Now I am happy to pass that onto to my son. Best wishes in the future. Thanks for that clearly heart-felt note.

[Chris_Doane]

as a young adult in my 20's, I understood him and respected him

That sounds awfully familiar.

Sorry for your loss....I hope you find solace in the memories.

[GMTruckGuy74]

I'm just returning to the "land of the Internet" today after a brief vacation, and I am saddened by your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this time of mourning. As offered by many already, we are here for you as you need us. Keep the memories and spirit of your dad alive in you and in turn he will not be gone forever.

[Oracle of Delphi]

For those I missed saying thank you too, it's been a tough week. So I will thank you now for your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement. It was and is much appreciated.

der Bö®gÉr

[Camino LS6]

It's a long process, my friend, look for us to be here when needed.

[Oracle of Delphi]

It's a long process, my friend, look for us to be here when needed.

Yes I know, as the eldest son, I haven't even started the grieving process, it's my job to get my mother and siblings through theirs first. Someone needs to be in control, it's the German way.

[Camino LS6]

Yes I know, as the eldest son, I haven't even started the grieving process, it's my job to get my mother and siblings through theirs first. Someone needs to be in control, it's the German way.

Eldest here as well, I get it.

[Justin Bimmer]

I lost my dad on August 30, 2008 of a pulmonary embolism from complications from knee surgery. I feel you PCS.

[saturnd00d]

Wow, I'm not sure what to say as it's been awhile since this thread was created. My deepest condolences to you and your family PCS. I am sorry I didn't see this sooner, as I've been wrapped up in family stuff for a couple weeks now.

I wish I could tell you that time heals all wounds, but I would be lying. The pain doesn't go away, but with time you will find acceptance. I visit my father in the mausoleum where he lays to rest, every single week. I couldn't imagine not doing so since I live 30 mins away from there, but I take the time to speak to him about what's going on with me and my family, with my son whom he never got to meet, and I usually like to share memories with him. I know my father is physically gone, however I have a firm belief that he's there right beside me every single day. I know he's watching over me and guiding me through my daily activities, so in a sense, I know he's there.

By how you've described your father, he sounds exactly like mine. I'm sure he's an individual you will always be proud to call your dad, and I'm sure he's watching over you right now.

The weird thing is, I too, whispered to my dad during his final moments how much I loved him. Though he was on 26mg of Morphone at the time, he nodded that he understood me and that was all that I needed to find peace in his passing.

I admire you for trying to stay strong for your family. It's an incredibly hard thing to do, but know this, it hasn't settled in yet. What I hope you'll do is to give yourself the opportunity to properly grieve when it does. Don't worry so much about what others think, because everyone handles these things differently. It sounds like you have alot of support from your friends and family, so please don't shut yourself out to anyone.

May God bless you and your family.

[Oracle of Delphi]

Thank you, CadillacKing and Saturndood, I feel your pain, I don't know what I really feel about my father's death other than numb and the thought that I can never see him again in this life, which to me at this time, is so incredibly unbelievable, I can barely get my head around it.

[2005 EquinoxLS]

I know that feeling all to well. I still once in the while expect to see my dad every now and then. Though Mom and I live in our new house that he never got to see I still expect him to walk in every now and then and start talking about what he plans to do later on or the next day. My dad was the planner type of person. I am kind of like that but not to the extreme my dad was. I didnt always get to grieve either because when he died I had to make sure the new house was coming along and deal with the city people and relocation people with the old one. And the movers. I can tell you one thing, you NEVER forget.