Jump to content
News
Reviews
Discussons
Activity
Create New...
Close

Quote of the Day

Satty

By Satty
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
Posted

We've got dozens of other dumb threads, why not another?

This thread is dedicated to those little quotes that make your day. Maybe someone says something so stupid, it makes you smile to think about it. Maybe its something so profound, or maybe its something so insanely funny that you think you're going to asphyxiate from laughing.

Here is mine:

"Why? I dont even like camping"

--A girl I know after I told her she was getting a dutch oven

for her birthday.

Intrepidation

Intrepidation

Posted
Posted (edited)

Not a quote, but a conversation with my super cheap friend..made me LOL

David says:

civic was flooded

David says:

did u hear?

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

flooded?

David says:

last week's rain was enought to wet the interior

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

oh

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

yeah

David says:

and it stinks

David says:

now the O2 sensor needs replacement

David says:

the shop wanted $329

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

LOL

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

the part costs like 10 bucks

David says:

I went to advanceauto and got it for $55

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

or 55

David says:

new

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

it's a Honda

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

so it's more expensive

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

i forgot

David says:

will install it myself

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

well yeah

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

it's easy

David says:

but we had to pay $45 to get a reading on the pop up light

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

LOL

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

you can get it free at autozone

David says:

they will test it?

David says:

for free?

Kimura™ the Dodgefan says:

yup

David says:

FUKING ASS

Edited by Dodgefan
balthazar

balthazar

Posted
Posted (edited)

DF - I have no earthly idea what you were trying to describe above.

-- -- -- -- --

I am currently driving my family nuts with this :

"He's sleigh-riding now!"

Edited by balthazar
ocnblu Newbie

ocnblu

Posted
Posted
I have a goatee right now. I was at my mom's on Thursday. She said, "I like your little face thing. What do they call that, a mullet? :confused0071:
Intrepidation

Intrepidation

Posted
Posted (edited)
DF - I have no earthly idea what you were trying to describe above.

-- -- -- -- --

I am currently driving my family nuts with this :

"He's sleigh-riding now!"

It was a conversation on msn messenger. He's one of those ultra cheap people who doesn't like to spend any money if he can avoid it. Apparently the check engine light came on his sister's Civic, and they paid $45 to find out what it was, only for me to tell him they do free scans at Autozone.

I know, not really a quote, but I haven't heard any good ones lately, and it made me laugh.

Well there is one...see how many of you know what it's from..

"But I poop from there"

"Not right now you don't."

Edited by Dodgefan
Newbiewar Newbie

Newbiewar

Posted
Posted

me - "hey man what weighs more, a ounce of feathers or an ounce of gold?"

coworker - "duhh they weigh the same..."

coworker - "... wonder how much an ounce of gold weighs..."

another instnace...

coworker - "man have u tried these banana chips? its strange, they taste like banana's, but they crunch like a chip"

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Another quote, this one from high school:

"So do I just have to walk up to the White House and ask for an application for President?"

That has since, amongst my friends from that era, become the standard way of over-simplifying things.

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Had a couple of gems at the office today.

"I will fart in your mouth"--thats actually a great way to get someone to quit being annoying

"Is it just me or does that guy smell Amish?"

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

From High School, circa 1995 or so... (spoken by airhead brunette)

"Vietnam was a WAR not a country!"

the_yellow_dart Newbie

the_yellow_dart

Posted
Posted

Watching a car auction once with a friend. An old pickup truck comes on the block that has pieces of wood inlaid into its bed - so you could slide items in and not scratch the metal. She sees this and says:

"If I ever get a truck, I'm going to get somebody to put wood in my box!"

She didn't like it when I told her I'd do it for her.

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

co-worker at UPS

~ "I'm 2/16th Lithuanian"

ME: oh, so you're 1/8th?

~ "Yes, except I had a great-granmother

& also a great-greatfather from there so

that's TWO-sixteenth..."

:rolleyes:

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"But I poop from there"

"Not right now you don't."

I very randomly broke that out today. Got a laugh.

But today's rather awkward quote:

"If she were the last woman alive on earth, I'd become a necrophile"

I didn't know necrophile was a word, but apparently it is.

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Just had this gem of a convo:

Her: Why does the bathroom smell like burning hair?

Me: Dunno, I usually burn my hair in the fireplace.

Her: I'm serious

Me: Isn't the better question, "why doesn't the rest of the house smell like burning hair?"

Just for the record, the bathroom in question is the rarely used 2nd bathroom. I think the last time I was even in there was when I took some bad (very old) Pepto-Bismol and puked for about 10 minutes straight. That was a couple months ago.

And for some unknown reason, there are 4 brand new, unopened tubes of toothpaste, all different brand, in the medicine cabinet.

Edited by Satty
Robert Hall Veteran

Robert Hall

Posted
Posted

Speaking of all things poop, I had an adventure last night..was up washing sheets and a comforter at midnight because Diarrhea Dog jumped in my bed. Amazing how much a 10lb dog can poo.. :(

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Me: I cant do that

Guy on phone: Why not?

Me: Because you're Canadian

Guy on phone: Racist

Not really the best choice of words on my part.

  • 2 weeks later...
Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

A phone conversation:

Me: Hey

Her; Hey, whats up?

Me: I was just about to walk into the bathroom

Her: Ok, call me later, let me know how it goes

Me: :blink:

I think she was talking about the school thingy I had to do earlier, but I'm not sure.

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

D.P. porn is one of the depraved, whoreish things that can be a turnon

in some real wacky porn, but then there's just... too much. My god is

DVDA even possible at all, never mind without a big sloppy gross man

sandwish 4-high?

Horrific :blink:

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted
Speaking of all things poop, I had an adventure last night..was up washing sheets and a comforter at midnight because Diarrhea Dog jumped in my bed. Amazing how much a 10lb dog can poo.. :(

holy $hit... reason number 582,406,235,886 why I do not

care to own a dog anymore. Holy hell good luck w. that.

ocnblu Newbie

ocnblu

Posted
Posted
Today when I went to Target to pick up my new Perfect Pushup and some workboots, there was a plain police car, a dark gray Charger, parked on the sidewalk. Two officers were standing near the entrance to the store. I was going to say "Hello officers, are you looking for the guy who parked on the sidewalk?" But I chickened out at the last moment.
Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

Posted
Posted
Today when I went to Target to pick up my new Perfect Pushup and some workboots, there was a plain police car, a dark gray Charger, parked on the sidewalk. Two officers were standing near the entrance to the store. I was going to say "Hello officers, are you looking for the guy who parked on the sidewalk?" But I chickened out at the last moment.

I'm confused? Were you going to ask the police that question before or after you put on your PUSHUP Bra? :confused0071:

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Co-Worker: Hey, what are you doing right now?

Me: Contemplating the meaning of life.

Co-worker: How's that going?

Me: Pretty well, I think I'm close.

CARBIZ Newbie

CARBIZ

Posted
Posted

How about my favorite despair.com poster:

CUSTOMER SERVICE

If we really cared about our customers, we'd send them somewhere else!

Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Today, after class:

Me (to a classmate): You just made a date rape joke in front of a room full of college girls, I'm amazed you're alive.

People are freaking dumb.

Edited by Satty
trinacriabob Veteran

trinacriabob

Posted
Posted

My not-so Catholic views on childrearing:

"If you can't afford them, don't have them."

Yesterday, during my morning commute, I heard a lady describing the formula for how (additional) children trasnslate into dollars and health benefits from the state. Is it any wonder some states are having difficulties balancing their budgets?

  • 1 month later...
capriceman Newbie

capriceman

Posted
Posted

last Friday I stopped by the old shop to check on the guys and There where to Engineers looking at a charred control box. Then the one just turns and says "That $h!'s f@#ked." It must of been the circumstance but that was the most funniest $h! i heard in a long ass time.

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted
"If you can't afford them, don't have them."

"Can't Feed 'em, Don;t breed 'em!"

(common bumper sticker)

Although who knows... maybe with the current

Socialist regime about to control this country

as of Jan. 2009 maybe a litter of kids combined

with welfare & such will mean no matter how

many you breed, the government will make the

out tax dollars FEED (the unemployed).

§carlet §wordfish Rookie

§carlet §wordfish

Posted
Posted

School isn't always boring:

POLICE BRIEFS

A man entered Maag Library yesterday and began talking to himself. When questioned he became defensive, then claimed that he was Satan and that he wanted to kill someone. For his safety and the public's, he was taken to St. Elizabeth's hospital.

  • 2 weeks later...
Satty Newbie

Satty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

More of the conversation of the day:

(to set the scene, we're in the wagon on a winding country road, going to get firewood)

Her: Hey look, cows!

Me: Yeah

Her: Isn't it too cold for cows?

Me: What?

Her: Dont they do something to keep the cows warm? Like birds going south or something?

Me: What? Cows dont fly south for the winter.

Her: No, like cattle drives or whatever.

Me: :blink:

I was literally speechless.

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


×
×
  • Create New...

Hey there, we noticed you're using an ad-blocker. We're a small site that is supported by ads or subscriptions. We rely on these to pay for server costs and vehicle reviews.  Please consider whitelisting us in your ad-blocker, or if you really like what you see, you can pick up one of our subscriptions for just $1.75 a month or $15 a year. It may not seem like a lot, but it goes a long way to help support real, honest content, that isn't generated by an AI bot.

See you out there.

Drew
Editor-in-Chief

I've whitelisted
Continue without support

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search