Porthole Watchdogs

[HarleyEarl]

Please report any porthole infractions that you see.

Today, now hold onto something......this is the truth,

I just saw a Honda Fit with portholes.

I almost had a hissy fit.

Edited July 13, 2008 by HarleyEarl

[balthazar]

I need to carry my camera around on the road. Everything wears them, including BMWs & mercedes. Oh yeah, and I've seen a bunch of maserati's wearing them, too!

[HarleyEarl]

Funny about the Maserati.....I need to keep a small camera on me too.

I got thinking about this.....now would it be ok to apply portholes, say to a Buick that didn't have them from the factory, like the one in my sig? It's a grey area, I know, but it needs to be put on the table.

[HarleyEarl]

Is it portholes or ventiports?.....or both?

[usonia]

I wish I had a camera as I've seem some true atrocitiies here in the Rochester, New York area. The most weird were a previous generation Dodge Dakota, a PT Cruiser and a previous generation Scion Xb. They all had those fake adhesive oval portholes on them. This has to be some strange fad that caught on without me knowing about it.

[balthazar]

Official name is VentiPorts... or was for many many years. 'Portholes' is informal, the 'street term'.

I would say it was 'OK' to put a indellible, decades-long Buick styling cue on a Buick that didn't wear them from the factory, but on anything else short of a true custom (not a spoiler/ wheels/ 'aero' kit job)- it's no different than putting bmw pig nostrils on a mitsu and calling it 'nice'.

[caddycruiser]

There is a guy I see frequently who bought a black '07 G6 sedan 1SV (the base one, with 16" hubcaps), and then proceeded--in the first 2 weeks of having it--to tint the windows (fine), put on peel & stick hood scoops (ugh), chrome door edging on EVERY edge he could find (this one I just want to beat people with a stick for), chrome wipers (oh, so lovely...), and 3 chrome portholes per front fender.

I saw it recently and it looked like he actually backed down a bit, and had removed some of the chrome edging. But the hood scoops, junk store chrome wipers, and portholes remained with what chrome edging there still was.

Different people like different things...but I seriously think some are just visually (and mentally...) handicapped when it comes to the visuals of their cars.

Kinda like an older person who bought a new black Lacrosse CXL at my dealer where I just got my G6, and before pickup, wanted chrome edging put on the doors and around the wheel wells. Seriously? Sometimes people just can't stop with the peel & sticks.

Another good example? Chrome pillar trim. ONCE in a blue moon, it doesn't look puke worthy, but otherwise it resembles exactly what it is...peel & stick chrome panels that look exactly as such, and never remotely like they should be there or that was how it may have been made.

Yeah...bad taste drives me nuts daily on the road. Thankfully I had my clean & classy Fleetwood and now my REALLY clean and pure white pearl G6 coupe...both of which get stares and comments daily here, because of it.

Portholes...if it isn't a Buick, NO!

[caddycruiser]

I wish I had a camera as I've seem some true atrocitiies here in the Rochester, New York area. The most weird were a previous generation Dodge Dakota, a PT Cruiser and a previous generation Scion Xb. They all had those fake adhesive oval portholes on them. This has to be some strange fad that caught on without me knowing about it.

Ebay didn't help...as soon as the first Buicks with them as OEM showed up, the el cheapo aftermarket crap makers went bonkers with different shapes and sizes and everyone started selling them. What to do when you have no taste and will buy anything? Yep, portholes from Ebay...

[mustang84]

I've seen Lexuses, Toyotas, Oldsmobiles, and Pontiacs with portholes....the worst by far was a newer Grand Marquis that had portholes, fake chrome stick-on stuff on the B-pillar and around the doors, vinyl roof, AND had the Mercury badges replaced with Oldsmobile badges and some tacky Delta 88 vinyl on the side doors.

Also, I saw a rusty '94ish Lumina Z34 with huge, ugly "LUMINA SS" vinyl on the side. What is the appeal of putting "SS" on a car with no performance modifications?

[HarleyEarl]

Walking on my way to work, I often detour just to walk by a gorgeous new GMC Denali pickup...that was until suddenly the owner went chrome veneer mad....all along the lower sides, big swaths of it.....so cheap looking....I no longer walk by it.

[knightfan26917]

Please report any porthole infractions that you see.

Wish I had had a camera with me today while driving my older 4 MCs. I spotted a brand new malibu with them on, as well as an older Ford Thunderbird....

Aye.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Play with the fire, and your gonna get burned" ... Steve Wariner ... 'Some Fools Never Learn'

[Drew Dowdell]

an old old Ford Ranger

There is a CTS Sport with 3 diamond shaped porthole per side.

a previous gen GP with them on the hood just along the hood creases.... didn't look too bad and actually was kinda original.

followed up nicely by the final gen GP with 8 portholes on the fender....... that is... 8 per side... two rows of 4 each.

A Cutlass-Malibu with two per side.

A Chrysler 300 who just didn't know when to stop.... he had a row of 4 Buick style port holes and then a row of 4 Cadillac Escalade type square ones below it.

and strangely, I've also seen a Honda Fit with them

[HarleyEarl]

Wish I had had a camera with me today while driving my older 4 MCs. I spotted a brand new malibu with them on, as well as an older Ford Thunderbird....

Aye.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Play with the fire, and your gonna get burned" ... Steve Wariner ... 'Some Fools Never Learn'

Please....not a new Malibu?!! Where do people find out about tacky stuff like this? I've never seen them advertised. It must be word of fender.

[HarleyEarl]

It occured to me, that if people were actually cutting holes and actually making working ventiports/portholes, I wouldn't find them quite so distasteful....but stick-on?....just the worst.

[Camino LS6]

A new Yukon XL with stick-on rectangular portholes. bling rims. and a 20-something idiot owner blasting hip-hop.

What an ass.

[Drew Dowdell]

'88-'91 Chrysler New Yorker with 3 MASSIVE Escalade portals on each side... applied crookedly.

[Brougham-Holiday]

I saw a 2dr E Class (only a few model years old) with 3 port holes on each side. I guess everyone wants to copy.... your grandfathers Electra 225?