Need some advice

[mustang84]

I've recently started a new job (about a month ago) working for the same company but in a new city. This weekend went to hang out with some co-workers at the bar and since we had Thursday and Friday off for the 4th, we were there Wednesday night. One of the girls there I had met before a last winter at the company holiday party when I was in Des Moines, and we started talking and things were starting to click.

I went golfing with her and two other co-workers the next morning and since we were in the same cart, we started talking about a lot of things and I found out she is 31 and was married at 21 and divorced at 25. I'm only 24, so I was a little bit surprised she was that old because she doesn't look it at all (I was guessing she was about 26). She said her first marriage was a mistake and she's been dating here and there since then but hasn't found a guy that was right for her.

She's a really sweet girl, attractive, positive outlook on life, and we get along really well. But the seven year age gap and the fact that she's been married were two things that caught me off guard. I could see dating someone that was 26-27, but as much as I hate to say it, I think she's too old for me. I've heard of women dating men that are 7 years older, but not the other way around.

[daves87rs]

Age really doesn't matter.....as long as you are happy......

As fo the divorce...as long as she learned from that mistake, then I see nothing wrong with that....

My buddy used to rip up the single moms with kids (and he was pretty mean about it)...and Guess who he married- A single Mom with a cute as a button 2 year old.(and has daddy wrapped around her finger )

I don't sweat the small stuff (or details), but as a person on a whole....

That's why I've been married many years with a cute baby boy... :AH-HA_wink:

[Oracle of Delphi]

Hmmmmm, I had an affair with my father's best friend's wife in my late teens that went on for several years, she was 32 at the time. I learned many things from her most of which my wife still enjoys to this day. Since I have been married I have been a good boy mostly, I will admit I like to flirt. :AH-HA_wink: If I were you, I would experience what this woman seems to want share with you, you may just learn a few things.

[gm4life]

My wife is a few years younger than me and it works out great. I see no reason why it wouldn't the other way. Age is just a number its not like you both grew up in a totally different world... I mean seven years is seven years and in the history of this country seven years one way or another isn't a big deal. If you like this gal and hit it off well with her, screw the status-quo if she has you thinking like this about her than forget the age and make it happen. As long as she learned from her divorce, and you both understand where both of you are coming from I see no problem what so ever.

(End of Good Advice)

Any childern from the first time around?

(Question...)

How attractive is she?

(I have to ask this one.)

[CARBIZ]

A lot of it depends on the level of mental maturity of both parties. If you are 24 and usually find girls around your age dimwitted or 'immature,' then maybe an older woman will be more your speed. At least on a sexual level you might find her better - more experienced, less inhibited.

Seven years is not a bad spread. My BF is 38 and I am 47. When I was single (6 + years ago) lots of 23-25 year olds would hit on me (why is ANOTHER story) and although they were great for a one night stand, I found the generational gap WAYYY to hard to overcome. Forget about maturity: these guys had never even heard of Franki Valli and wouldn't know a hardtop if it ran over them.

[gmcbob]

I married a girl (woman) 5 years older than me, and I feel it was a good move. Go for it man. Be careful about work relationships though.

[Paolino]

Mustang, don't worry about the age difference... if she gets along with you and you like her, go for it. So, she has a little more history than you, it's really nothing. If you were to marry her, 7 years in the scheme of things isn't that different. Have some fun and don't over analyze it for now.

[haypops]

I don't sweat the small stuff (or details),

That's why I've been married many years with a cute baby boy... :AH-HA_wink:

Wondeful advice! A corolary to this is to make the least of differences of opinion or perceived wrongs; not the most of them. That's why I have been married 32 years, 4 daughters, and 10 beautiful grand kids. Mustang 84 should make the least the age difference; not the most. However, do be careful of workplace relationships. At the very least you and the young lady should keep it a secret from fellow workers. If either of you is a "supervisor" to the other in any way, just don't go there.

[mustang84]

My wife is a few years younger than me and it works out great. I see no reason why it wouldn't the other way. Age is just a number its not like you both grew up in a totally different world... I mean seven years is seven years and in the history of this country seven years one way or another isn't a big deal. If you like this gal and hit it off well with her, screw the status-quo if she has you thinking like this about her than forget the age and make it happen. As long as she learned from her divorce, and you both understand where both of you are coming from I see no problem what so ever.

(End of Good Advice)

Any childern from the first time around?

(Question...)

How attractive is she?

(I have to ask this one.)

No children luckily.

Very attractive...I'd rate her a 9/10.

[mustang84]

A lot of it depends on the level of mental maturity of both parties. If you are 24 and usually find girls around your age dimwitted or 'immature,' then maybe an older woman will be more your speed. At least on a sexual level you might find her better - more experienced, less inhibited.

Seven years is not a bad spread. My BF is 38 and I am 47. When I was single (6 + years ago) lots of 23-25 year olds would hit on me (why is ANOTHER story) and although they were great for a one night stand, I found the generational gap WAYYY to hard to overcome. Forget about maturity: these guys had never even heard of Franki Valli and wouldn't know a hardtop if it ran over them.

I was actually getting to that point my last year in college...most girls seemed flakey and overly dramatic. I really got tired of it after a while. And the ones that weren't were snatched up already.

Now it seems like it's getting much easier out of college because suddenly they're realizing they want stability and not a roller coaster ride.

And she's pretty much a complete 180 of what I was experiencing in college...so it's a breath of fresh air.

[mustang84]

I married a girl (woman) 5 years older than me, and I feel it was a good move. Go for it man. Be careful about work relationships though.

Yeah, that was another thing I was thinking about. We both work at the same place, but we don't really work together though; she's non-architectural (reception department). A couple at my job just got married last weekend and both are architects and sit near each other...which I'm thinking might be problematic after a while. I wouldn't necessarily want to be sitting next to my wife for 8 hours a day or working with them on the same projects. Stress and all the other problems at work would just be brought home with you.

[mustang84]

Wondeful advice! A corolary to this is to make the least of differences of opinion or perceived wrongs; not the most of them. That's why I have been married 32 years, 4 daughters, and 10 beautiful grand kids. Mustang 84 should make the least the age difference; not the most. However, do be careful of workplace relationships. At the very least you and the young lady should keep it a secret from fellow workers. If either of you is a "supervisor" to the other in any way, just don't go there.

There really wouldn't be any way to keep it a secret because the office I work at is only about 60 people and we're pretty close-knit. Three quarters of the people there are under 35 and a lot of us hang out together. It's not really like a big anonymous company where you never see the management and you only know the people in your surrounding cubicles.

[HarleyEarl]

Age isn't necessarily an issue. In conversation it can be when recalling pop culture events of the past and you don't know what rock group she's talking about

I'd just wave the caution flag just a bit regarding the long span of time since her divorce. When someone can't find a mate that's 'good' for them, may mean they are too particular. There is no perfect person for anyone. Beginning and nuturing relationships actually takes work, it's not just a given...nothing magical about it.

And the fact she has been married and divorced. She's in a different place than you. She's been there, done that. It's not a good track record for any possible future for the two of you. Honestly, maybe divorced is better with divorced.

She may be the most wonderful person in the world, but just some things to ponder.