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Help me kill my wife's car

Dsuupr

By Dsuupr
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Dsuupr Newbie

Dsuupr

Posted
Posted

Those that have been around a while will remember everything I did to try and kill Roach I, non of which actually killed the cars (Roach I had over 390,000 miles on original engine & trans). I want Roach III to go away and the only way it will is if it has a major mechanical breakdown.

Does anybody have ideas on what I can do to cause this to happen without my wife knowing?

For the record, I've tried to the following to one or all three Roaches and NONE of them even hesitated to keep running.

1. Jumped off the ground and landed extra hard on frame

2. Put in reverse at full highway speed

3. Used one gallon of water for 10 gallons of gas

4. Pushed down high a gravel pile

5. Darn near totalled a honda civic in an accident, but only caused VERY minor damage to Roach I (wife did this one)

6. Take curbs at full speed (as high as 40 mph)

7. Rallied on back dirt roads

8. Refused to do an oil change for over a year (and anything else the car needed)

9. Pulled spark plug wirees out for weeks at a time to see what would happen

10. Let 18 year old borrow car and rail on it as hard as he could (Roach II)

11. Drove down highway at full throttle in drive 1

12. Took it "off-roading"

13. Used Ram bar to push anything one could think of, including a trash container that weighted more than any car sold

14. Jumped, walked on, hit with things on the hood, roof & trunk

Any other suggestions?

Dsuupr Newbie

Dsuupr

Posted
  • Author
Posted
sand in the oil fill? bleach in the gas tank? :P what car was this? for some reason im thinking caprice, no?

Bleach will only take out the injectors as well as sand. She'll insist we just fix it even it costs over $1000. Besides, I'm guessing, like everything else with these cars, for some reason they built something into the car that will still prevent it from hurting it. Then again, if bleach or sand would eat at the walls of the cylinder heads . . .

Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

Posted
Posted

Have you tried driving it into the side of a shed? Dropping a piano on the hood? Four sticks of dynamite and a match? I believe it is time we begin to take notes from Mr. Jeremy Clarkson. :yes:

A brief "How to Destroy" series from Mr. Clarkson:

Death by "Auto Jousting"

Death by Hanging

Death by Crusher

Death by Convertible

Death by Torture

Death by Dumpster

Death by Bar Skittles

I hope you have your notebook ready and are ready to take notes! :smilewide:

Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

Posted
Posted (edited)
1994 Caprice with LT1 - Ex Police vehicle

Wait. Whoa, whoa. I will give you the twenty dollar bill in my wallet and a Bombardier Rally ATV with a broken carburetor in exchange for the car so it will not be destroyed.

I have plans of my own for it if you take that offer. :AH-HA_wink:

Edited by YellowJacket894
Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

Posted
Posted (edited)
YellowJacket984 - If you can find a way to get my wife to part with it, I'll pay you to take it away.

How about a "staged theft?" :smilewide::scratchchin:

I have always had an odd aspiration for the post-MCE "bathtub" Caprice. I'd actually like to save it.

Edited by YellowJacket894
ZL-1 Newbie

ZL-1

Posted
Posted
Step 1. Remove all idiot light bulbs in the dash

Step 2. Loosen the water pump bolts a teeny tiny bit.

Step 3. Roadtrip

:lol:

gmpartsgirl Newbie

gmpartsgirl

Posted
Posted

Well, it would take a few months possibly and could potentially be dangerous, better if it was you driving, but you could "accindentally" pour some tranny fluid in the master cylinder resevoir. It will destroy all the rubber in your brake system, and since it has anitlock, it could be expensive enough to total the car. Or maybe tell her you want to donate it to the Breast Cancer Foundation. Never know, it might work.

A Horse With No Name Mentor

A Horse With No Name

Posted
Posted
Have you tried driving it into the side of a shed? Dropping a piano on the hood? Four sticks of dynamite and a match? I believe it is time we begin to take notes from Mr. Jeremy Clarkson. :yes:

A brief "How to Destroy" series from Mr. Clarkson:

Death by "Auto Jousting"

Death by Hanging

Death by Crusher

Death by Convertible

Death by Torture

Death by Dumpster

Death by Bar Skittles

I hope you have your notebook ready and are ready to take notes! :smilewide:

Wrecking aperfectly good 911 was WRONG...butI'd rather they wreck a 911 than a Camaro, even a plain jane 3rd gen Camaro...

Other than that great stuff!

Chris

Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

Posted
Posted
Wrecking aperfectly good 911 was WRONG...butI'd rather they wreck a 911 than a Camaro, even a plain jane 3rd gen Camaro...

Other than that great stuff!

Chris

An F3 Camaro has never been destroyed on Top Gear to my knowledge. One was in a road challenge, yes, but it was not destroyed.

A Horse With No Name Mentor

A Horse With No Name

Posted
Posted

They did destroy a C4 vette though. Stuffed a crash test dummy named "Hank" in it and blew it up from a helicopter.

Felt like pointing out to Mr. Clarkson that without a lot of guys named "Hank" he could be reading the owners manual of his new Audi in the German he had learned from boyhood, but so far have not had the chance.

Chris

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

So what exactly is your problem?

Why not STOP beating on your destructible B-body and SELL it for a few bucks...?

How high were you exactly when you wrote this thread? :huh:

Dsuupr Newbie

Dsuupr

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So what exactly is your problem?

Why not STOP beating on your destructible B-body and SELL it for a few bucks...?

How high were you exactly when you wrote this thread? :huh:

As stated earlier in the thread, I would pay someone to take it away if my wife would let me. I didn't want the first one, I didn't want the second one, and I REALLY didn't want the third one. She has a weird attachment to them.

My stance; they where good when they first came out, now they just eat at the earth and my pocket book. VERY few people need a boat like this. Just like those that drive SUVs and big trucks. I understand using it instead of a truck, but that is the only reason someone should own such a gas hog. (little hippie moment coming out).

Ok, ok, really though; I'm not against anyone else wanting it that loves it, but I just don't want it in my driveway. I am all for the individual getting what they desire. I just don't desire the Roach. There's just a little anger coming out when I think about how much money we have wasted on the car. Especially since my car gets trashed because she thinks we should use car instead of hers as a family car (gas mileage and reliability). Just because she buys a crappy car that nobody wants to ride in, why should I suffer.

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

Well F*** that.

Let her have her Caprice instead of doing retarded destructive & frankly juvenile

stunts that frankly will just insure she'll own a FOURTH B-body Chevy.

And BTW:

I'm loving my daily driver 1977 Cadillac... compared to my 7.0 liter V8 powered,

BOF, RWD, 400TH equipped, 4400 lbs. two door Cadillac that your wife's 5.7 liter

B-body light as well be a Malibu Hybrid. And people like you that spread their

opinion of how my car is EXCESSIVE makes me want to drive it that much more.

Funny how people are still brainwashed into the whole "big cars/V8s/SUVs kill the

enviroment and contribute to global warming..."

How about the fact that within a decade China's coal burning power plants will by

comparison make ALL these big cars a molecule within a drop in the bucket.

Cory Wolfe

Cory Wolfe

Posted
Posted (edited)

Cliff.

It could be an accident... When you're out and about, park it next to one, "forget" to put it in park, give just the slightest "accidental" nudge and Presto! It's dead. Forget these "Save the Roach!" fools, kill it! Kill it! KILL IT!!!! 220.gif

Edited by blackviper8891
XP715 Newbie

XP715

Posted
Posted (edited)

How about you stop being retarded, leave the keys and title on the seat, and let some worthless member of society (me) "steal" it one night if you want the damn thing gone so bad? Hundred bucks in it for you.

I'm serious.

Edited by XP715
Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

Whatever YOU'RE driving Dsuupr, I think you've got an exhaust leak...

that's the only explanation for this kind of ignorance.

With all due respect...

Intrepidation

Intrepidation

Posted
Posted (edited)
How about you stop being retarded, leave the keys and title on the seat, and let some worthless member of society (me) "steal" it one night if you want the damn thing gone so bad? Hundred bucks in it for you.

I'm serious.

Whatever YOU'RE driving Dsuupr, I think you've got an exhaust leak...

that's the only explanation for this kind of ignorance.

With all due respect...

Agreed on both counts.

Bleach in the oil will cause the engine to cease...but just let her drive what the hell she wants. Otherwise I hope she buys a Honda to piss you off.

Edited by Dodgefan
XP715 Newbie

XP715

Posted
Posted
I can just see 68 and XP driving out to get the Roach.... :scratchchin:

Now that would be interesting....

I'm all for a road trip if it means saving yet another awesome car from dying at the hands of the mentally challenged.

daves87rs Collaborator

daves87rs

Posted
Posted
Cliff.

It could be an accident... When you're out and about, park it next to one, "forget" to put it in park, give just the slightest "accidental" nudge and Presto! It's dead. Forget these "Save the Roach!" fools, kill it! Kill it! KILL IT!!!! 220.gif

Cliff? what about bridges?

Intrepidation

Intrepidation

Posted
Posted

Here's a though: let her drive what she WANTS to drive, and don't try to be a control freak and try to tell her what she can and connot drive. Would you prefer she drove a Toyota? I think not. Otherwise I hope she tries to sabotage one of your cars as payback.

Dsuupr Newbie

Dsuupr

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Whatever YOU'RE driving Dsuupr, I think you've got an exhaust leak...

that's the only explanation for this kind of ignorance.

With all due respect...

Are you not reading my comments? I have no problem with you enjoying the car you want, but I have every right to spend my money on what I want as well. I find the Roach to be a waste of MY money. If you love your car, more power to you. I do understand the love that can happen, especially on an older Cadillac or B-body car. It's just not for me and not something I want to spend my money on.

Let me put it another way. If your wife forced you to buy a 1999 toyota corolla as her car THEN said that your kids cannot ride in her car because it was too dangerous so every time the family went out they used your car, which they trashed it as kids do, THEN she decided her car was to dangerous for her to drive to work, but was not willing to get rid of it, so she drove your car everyday and added to the hosing of your car, would you not also want to burn up her corolla?

It's not that I don't think B-Bodies are not great cars that have served many people well, it's the overall situation that has me pissed and wanting to kill the car off.

loki

loki

Posted
Posted
Here's a though: let her drive what she WANTS to drive, and don't try to be a control freak and try to tell her what she can and connot drive. Would you prefer she drove a Toyota? I think not. Otherwise I hope she tries to sabotage one of your cars as payback.

I think Dsupr is trying to say....he plans on retiring before he's 80 (if that's possible the way the $ is going)... even a v6 f-body or mustang he'd prolly like filling up more than the 'price. it's not a matter of not liking the car for what it is, it's a time bomb to him, all the while the fuse is him spending more $$ on gas than he'd like too.

am I wrong?

68---I'm guessing his views about CO2 emissions are not in his reasons to get rid of this car. so stop complaining about something that is a nonissue in this thread. lol

This is what i was planning on posting last night, but the internet was down... :(

daves87rs Collaborator

daves87rs

Posted
Posted
I think Dsupr is trying to say....he plans on retiring before he's 80 (if that's possible the way the $ is going)... even a v6 f-body or mustang he'd prolly like filling up more than the 'price. it's not a matter of not liking the car for what it is, it's a time bomb to him, all the while the fuse is him spending more $$ on gas than he'd like too.

am I wrong?

68---I'm guessing his views about CO2 emissions are not in his reasons to get rid of this car. so stop complaining about something that is a nonissue in this thread. lol

This is what i was planning on posting last night, but the internet was down... :(

Ah, close- I think his wife needs a car she will actually use (and not just like) :)

Sixty8panther Newbie

Sixty8panther

Posted
Posted

Still... I'm going to say it again: sell it and use SHORT change to buy her a car both of

you can compromise on or a car that will not require a lot of maintenance.

U know how much I payed for my beat to hell 1992 Buick Roadmaster?

$200 cash.

I brought a fresh battery with me, SpeedingPenguin & I pushed it out of the driveway

onto the street, I used the Mercedes' headlights to fire it see by and after the battery

fired up the mighty Buick I had a title and drivable car for $200.

They originally wanted $1000/obo but were very uninterested in going out of their

way to make the car drivable, which involved only putting air in two tires & that

aforementioned battery.

We've driven our Roadmaster about 6,000 miles in three months and I've yet to fix

anything safety/mechanically related. The interior needs some MAJOR TLC & there's

a few wiring issues I've had to fix but other than that & an oil change I've been

driving a $200 car.

I'm a bit of a one-trick pony but my one TRICK of being able to purchase & drive

cars for pennies on the dollar is quite a practical tallent. Especially when your

Datsun gets totalled by some Deuche in a BMW who runs a red and you have to

wait months if not years to see any money for the accident because his insurance

company is run by deadbeat assholes.

But here's the kicker...

Since Julie (my wife) has been driving the Roadmaster she's been complaining a

lot about its size... length and width are issues to her and she's begging me to

get another small-to-midsize car for her.

The other day she even said she missed the diesel Mercedes. :blink:

Never thought I'd hear her say that. :P

There's this baby Benz down the street that I might be looking into as soon as

we move...

z28luvr01 Newbie

z28luvr01

Posted
Posted

Dsuupr:

How about just telling her straight out that you can't afford the car and either a) it needs to go or b) she needs to find a way to pay to keep it on the road? You'd be surprised how well the truth works.

Or, give the engine a little TLC and she should pull down mid-20s highway?

I think deep down you know you can't kill a Caprice anyway.

Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

Posted
Posted
What about BV's Olds that everyone seemed to want to save? :P

Well, he said he would pay me to take it. I think you would agree with me when I say I would hate to pass up the offer of a free Caprice and a few bucks! :smilewide:

Now, if BV were to offer me a similar offer, my dad would finally have something to work on ... :scratchchin::P

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