Ever Been Attracted to the Opposite Orientation?

[The O.C.]

So....if you are straight....have you ever felt an attraction to another guy? Doesn't HAVE to be sexual....can be a strong emotional attraction....or sexual...whatever. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to "be with" a guy?

And if you are gay.....have you ever had the same feelings for a woman?

When I was in high school, before I came to terms with being gay, I had a girlfriend. Now we never had sex because she was absolutely sure she wanted to remain a virgin until she was married. We dated, went out, and the most we "did" was kiss goodnight at the end of the evening. Funny thing is....I never desired having sex with her.....mostly (unknown to me at the time) because I was gay....but also because I didn't realize that I should be craving the sex and stuff with her. In fact, I hated the end of our dates because I knew I'd have to kiss her "goodnight" at the end of the night.....and I didn't enjoy it.....was "gross" to me.

Since then, the MOST I've ever done with a woman was suck some boobies.....a female friend of mine when we were all at a party drunk and her husband dared me to do it....LOL....

Point is....I've never, ever, ever had any desire to be intimate with a woman in any sort of fashion.....even to see "what it's like."

Now....another story....revolves around my best friend in college. To this day, even though he's married and has a kid, I still think he's gay (or bisexual at least) and never came out of the closet due to maybe pressures from his intensly-conservative parents, or whatever....

....but when we were in college together (he was my "little bro" at the fraternity) we did EVERYTHING together.....and to this day, I'll tell you he was my first "love." In fact, we were so inseparable, the running joke around the frat house was that we were a "couple." And this was before I came to terms, accepted, or realized that I was gay.

It was like being in a relationship....without the sex. When I'd stay over at his house on the weekends, sometimes we'd sleep in the same bed together.....and sometimes, in the early mornings, we'd lay in bed together. I'd do things for him like his laundry, and cook him food, and he'd do the same in return. If not for the wierd situation, it would have been almost a perfect "relationship." We'd even tell each other we "loved" each other!

After college, I moved to PA, and later to CA and we somewhat lost touch. However, one year, at NAIAS, he met me downtown and we hit some pubs and got roaring drunk. Well needless to say, we ended up in my hotel room at the RenCen.....and well without being too graphic, "things" happened.

Since then, (years ago), I haven't spoken to him much at all.

So back to my first question at the top of this thread.....I've always wondered why my buddy and I had the relationship/friendship/whatever that we had in college....and shared all those emotions....but nothing ever came of it....is he gay? Is he bisexual? Was he too scared to come out of the closet? Did he feel a close attraction to me emotionally, but still be straight?

Let me know your thoughts....and your own experiences......

[NOS2006]

Question could go two ways.. so hell yeah I've been attracted to a lesbian!

[The O.C.]

Question could go two ways.. so hell yeah I've been attracted to a lesbian!

OOOOOOO

Yuckkkkkkk

Gagggggg

(j/k)

It's funny......I'm sure you were attracted to a "lipstick" lesbian.....

But I never understood the "butch" lesbian.....or the "fem" gay guy.......

I'm GAY.....which means I want a MAN......if I wanted a woman, I'd be straight.....right? So what's the attraction to the "fem" guy? And on the lesbo front....isn't a girl a lesbian because she wants to be with a woman? So what's the attraction to the "butch" girl??

[The O.C.]

Question could go two ways.. so hell yeah I've been attracted to a lesbian!

If ur girl said she wanted to bring a woman home.....would you be up for that....?

[NOS2006]

haha You mean dikes? Yeah, they scare the $h! out of me. Those Gladiator lesbians... YIKES!

Edited March 5, 2008 by NOS2006

[NOS2006]

If ur girl said she wanted to bring a woman home.....would you be up for that....?

Sure if she shares haha.

[The O.C.]

haha You mean dikes? Yeah, they scare the $h! out of me. Those Gladiator lesbians... YIKES!

Dikes on Bikes...!

Yippee!

(LOL)

[regfootball]

no no and no

nothing about a man that is remotely interesting. to me, anyways. ICK ICK ICK.

however, the chicks on the L word are pretty hot.

wait, are we talking about republicans and democrats? i usually lean moderate conservative but there are some hot looking dem chicks out there i'd have no problem talking higher taxes with.

2 gay guys i know have told me that 'everybody likes b00bies'. something universally liked about those things, i say. i told my wife, 'everybody likes b00bies', she just shook her head. i still think its true. at least the nicer ones.

Edited March 5, 2008 by regfootball

[The O.C.]

no no and no

nothing about a man that is remotely interesting. to me, anyways. ICK ICK ICK.

however, the chicks on the L word are pretty hot.

wait, are we talking about republicans and democrats? i usually lean moderate conservative but there are some hot looking dem chicks out there i'd have no problem talking higher taxes with.

2 gay guys i know have told me that 'everybody likes b00bies'. something universally liked about those things, i say. i told my wife, 'everybody likes b00bies', she just shook her head. i still think its true. at least the nicer ones.

Not me....seriously....have no desire to look at, touch, or feel "boobies". ICK

Now, a nice set of man-pecs...? YUM......

(lame attempt to gross-out Reg.....)

[scharmer05]

My best friend and I in high school were inseparable. We had a very close relationship and experimented in junior high. We both enjoyed it, and we kept it up for a year or so. After he started dating a girl, the experimenting ended. It didn't take long for me to find a girlfriend myself, and once our relationship became serious and finally turned sexual, I knew that I was straight. He was my first "love" though, and I was still attracted to him, more on an emotional level than anything. Our girlfriends even made fun of the way we acted around each other.

Unfortunately, he passed away in a car accident the summer after we graduated. This may sound dumb, but I'm sorry I never told him I loved him when he was alive. I still think about him.

[The O.C.]

My best friend and I in high school were inseparable. We had a very close relationship and experimented in junior high. We both enjoyed it, and we kept it up for a year or so. After he started dating a girl, the experimenting ended. It didn't take long for me to find a girlfriend myself, and once our relationship became serious and finally turned sexual, I knew that I was straight. He was my first "love" though, and I was still attracted to him, more on an emotional level than anything. Our girlfriends even made fun of the way we acted around each other.

Unfortunately, he passed away in a car accident the summer after we graduated. This may sound dumb, but I'm sorry I never told him I loved him when he was alive. I still think about him.

WOW....what a story.....

It's funny....my friend in college broke up with a girlfriend.....because she bitched about how much time we spent together. He chose me over her.....funny......

[scharmer05]

WOW....what a story.....

It's been less than 3 years but it seems like a lifetime ago. A completely different part of my life.

[The O.C.]

It's been less than 3 years but it seems like a lifetime ago. A completely different part of my life.

OK...here I go....

Do you think maybe you are bisexual?

If you had that strong of an emotional bond with him......that may be telling you something about yourself.

Being "gay" isn't just about what kind of sex you like to have.....there's a HUGE emotional component to it as well (as I've learned.)

[regfootball]

Not me....seriously....have no desire to look at, touch, or feel "boobies". ICK

Now, a nice set of man-pecs...? YUM......

(lame attempt to gross-out Reg.....)

dude, there's all that HAIR on them.....

YUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK

[The O.C.]

dude, there's all that HAIR on them.....

YUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK

Some are hairy....some are smooth.....

My BF has the NICEST, red pepperoni nipples....with a shading of hair around them.....

(j/k.....now I'm REALLY trying to annoy Reg.....)

[regfootball]

Being "gay" isn't just about what kind of sex you like to have.....there's a HUGE emotional component to it as well (as I've learned.)

interesting statement. i think i have a lot more women friends than guy friends, quite honestly, to me they are a heckuva lot more fun to talk with and joke with. certain types of them anyways. the ones who are not psychotic female princesses with major ego problems.

it makes me think about my guy friendships. love to talk sports, and of course about women, cars, sure. but i am not big into monster trucks, and action movies and shooting things with guns. but honestly, most days, if i didn't talk to any guys about anything, it would be no skin off my back. I really enjoy conversing with women more often.

to me, its easier to talk to women about emotional issues to a point. maybe for guys who prefer to talk to guys about emotional type stuff, then it might be natural to assume they may be drawn to that aspect of another person/guy if that is what they are in to.

Edited March 5, 2008 by regfootball

[regfootball]

Some are hairy....some are smooth.....

My BF has the NICEST, red pepperoni nipples....with a shading of hair around them.....

(j/k.....now I'm REALLY trying to annoy Reg.....)

you've never lived until you've enjoyed a woman's little tiny hair sprouts in that region, oh yeah oh yeah

[The O.C.]

interesting statement. i think i have a lot more women friends than guy friends, quite honestly, to me they are a heckuva lot more fun to talk with and joke with. certain types of them anyways. the ones who are not psychotic female princesses with major ego problems.

it makes me think about my guy friendships. love to talk sports, and of course about women, cars, sure. but i am not big into monster trucks, and action movies and shooting things with guns. but honestly, most days, if i didn't talk to any guys about anything, it would be no skin off my back. I really enjoy conversing with women more often.

to me, its easier to talk to women about emotional issues to a point. maybe for guys who prefer to talk to guys about emotional type stuff, then it might be natural to assume they may be drawn to that aspect of another person/guy if that is what they are in to.

Another way to look at it, non-sexually, is the whole feeling of falling in love.

I've never had "butterflies" in my stomach with a woman.....but every time I see Joe when he comes to town, I instantly get those "butterflies" in my stomach when I see him walking down the terminal from the plane.

Or the feeling I get when I kiss him.....just a simple kiss....drives me crazy.

Or the anxiety I get when, for some reason, I don't hear from him during any particular day...."why doesn't he call?" "What's he doing?"

I guess that more than anything is what really made me realize I was "gay." Although sex is a big component, it's by no means the ONLY component......

[scharmer05]

OK...here I go....

Do you think maybe you are bisexual?

If you had that strong of an emotional bond with him......that may be telling you something about yourself.

Being "gay" isn't just about what kind of sex you like to have.....there's a HUGE emotional component to it as well (as I've learned.)

To an extent possibly, but I don't see men on the street and feel attracted to them in any way. I can recognize a man for being attractive, but do I feel any certain way about them? No.

I can't say that after getting to know a man the way I knew the friend I talked about previously, that I wouldn't feel a certain way for him. I can't say either that I would reject that relationship ever turning sexual. I have a hard time ever seeing it happen though, as I don't see giving myself that chance.

The way I am attracted to woman is completely different. It's initially a sexual attraction, that later given the chance might turn emotional.

I don't know where that puts me I guess. I don't see myself seeking out homosexual relationships so I see that as putting me in the straight category.

[The O.C.]

To an extent possibly, but I don't see men on the street and feel attracted to them in any way. I can recognize a man for being attractive, but do I feel any certain way about them? No.

I can't say that after getting to know a man the way I knew the friend I talked about previously, that I wouldn't feel a certain way for him. I can't say either that I would reject that relationship ever turning sexual. I have a hard time ever seeing it happen though, as I don't see giving myself that chance.

The way I am attracted to woman is completely different. It's initially a sexual attraction, that later given the chance might turn emotional.

I don't know where that puts me I guess. I don't see myself seeking out homosexual relationships so I see that as putting me in the straight category.

It's funny because I don't know what REALLY makes one "gay" or "straight."

Is it the overriding emotional feelings and attractions we have?

Or is it the sexual attraction?

Or is it a combination of both?

I'm more inclined to believe a combination. Lord knows....I LOVE sex with a man....every part of it. But I could NEVER be in a relationship with someone if I didn't have that emotional connection/feeling/desires as well......on the flip side, I could never see myself with a woman.....because, sex aside, I could never envision the same level of emotional connection with a woman as what I've felt before with men......

[regfootball]

yeah, see, i have never had a doubt about what my preference was, and never thought anything about it. and more specifically not having to fight or conceal and finally reveal it. and now that i am getting older, i do think it really sucks that our culture is set up so that people feel they have to conceal it or repress it if they figure out how they really are and just simply want to be themselves like that. in that respect, i feel fortunate not having to think twice about it or feel confused about it or have to worry about how people might think of me.

its just handy when her hips are wider than her waist / gut and i generally also like it when her shoulders are close to her hips in size. if her hips are like way wider, than houston, there may be issues. all that physical eye candy just confirms it over and over and over.

Edited March 5, 2008 by regfootball

[The O.C.]

I don't know where that puts me I guess. I don't see myself seeking out homosexual relationships so I see that as putting me in the straight category.

I don't think any one person "seeks out" "homosexual" or "heterosexual" relationships.

I think it just "happens."

You fall in love with who you fall in love with. It's genetic. It's deep inside yourself. I don't think you have a choice what relationships you are gonna "seek out."

Maybe you are totally straight....but I'm glad you had the chance to feel some special emotions with your friend. Nothing but good can every come from that. You'll always have those memories. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to tell him how you feel......

[regfootball]

anyone like chicks with hairy backs?

(touche', OC)

[scharmer05]

Maybe you are totally straight....

The thing is, I wouldn't be opposed to considering myself bisexual, though I'm just not sure I could have those feelings for another guy again. I've never been given another chance at that.

but I'm glad you had the chance to feel some special emotions with your friend. Nothing but good can every come from that. You'll always have those memories. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to tell him how you feel......

Thank you

[The O.C.]

anyone like chicks with hairy backs?

(touche', OC)

I don't even like GUYS with hairy backs....

Hairy legs? YEA...! Hairy chest and stomach? YEA...!

Hairy backs and shoulders?

[scharmer05]

anyone like chicks with hairy backs?

(touche', OC)

No....I don't even like my own hairy back. I have it waxed.

[The O.C.]

No....I don't even like my own hairy back. I have it waxed.

Oh....Scharmer...you are SO gay....

LOL....j/k

[regfootball]

he probably just wants to look buff / tan at DL during the summer.

i dude i was in dorms with at college (SU) way back when....fricking dude had carpet on his chest and his back, shoulders, everywhere. thick black hair.......f'er should have waxed his entire envelope. holy crap made me want to yack YUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

dude, where in FGO does a dude even find a place to get a backwax

Edited March 5, 2008 by regfootball

[The O.C.]

he probably just wants to look buff / tan at DL during the summer.

i dude i was in dorms with at college way back when....fricking dude had carpet on his chest and his back, shoulders, everywhere. thick black hair.......f'er should have waxed his entire envelope. holy crap made me want to yack YUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

Hell that would make ME yack too.......LOL

AND....btw.....you straight boys should make sure you trim your package too.....I can only imagine chicks (as well as guys) would want that $h! trimmed......

[regfootball]

thanks for the advice, but for as often as a straight married guy gets it, its not worth the time......

edit- did used to periodically trim it back in col. more so just for groomings sake back when itwas more lush. summers drives a guy nuts when its warm out and stuff and you just want the package to breathe like a good tyvek housewrap.

Edited March 5, 2008 by regfootball

[The O.C.]

I've had tons of wine to drink tonight....which means I smell a new thread popping up.....

"C&G'ers....and their grooming habits...."

LOL

[The O.C.]

thanks for the advice, but for as often as a straight married guy gets it, its not worth the time......

:rotflmao:

[regfootball]

you had to warn me of something popping up and your wine consumption so things are bound to take a turn here i do not want to stay up to find out.

enjoy the vino.......

[The O.C.]

you had to warn me of something popping up and your wine consumption so things are bound to take a turn here i do not want to stay up to find out.

enjoy the vino.......

Nah....don't worry.

I'm signing off....just popped in ST: First Contact (yes I can be a geek at times) and am gonna watch that till I fall asleep........

[scharmer05]

he probably just wants to look buff / tan at DL during the summer.

i dude i was in dorms with at college (SU) way back when....fricking dude had carpet on his chest and his back, shoulders, everywhere. thick black hair.......f'er should have waxed his entire envelope. holy crap made me want to yack YUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

dude, where in FGO does a dude even find a place to get a backwax

A girlfriend I had for a while at the start of college did it in the beginning. I'd let her do whatever she wanted especially if it was going to lead to me getting some more often as a result. I got used to it and hated when it grew back so a girl I know at MJ Capelli now keeps is up. So every 3rd or 4th haircut she waxes my back. It would be too wierd if I didn't know the girl who cuts my hair real well, but its usually an awkwardly hilarious 10 minutes or so. Not much grows back anymore, so it is pretty quick.

[VenSeattle]

errhhh.... I had (kind of) similar experiences when I was a teen... Both OC's & Scharmer's... However when my relationship with girls turned sexual, I knew I was gay. Denied it for quite a while, but...

Experience 1 - I had a male friend who we "experimented" as a teen... He ended up dating several of my female friends. Broke their hearts (he was a rather jerk of a boyfriend to everyone.) He did make sure to call me up for one last romp before receiving his wedding invitation in the mail a week later... very long story

Experience 2 - I also had a verrrryyy attractive male friend in my church during my teens that was non-sexual but swear to gaud we loved each other. He knew I had leanings, but I was struggling with it. He asked if he could kiss me once, and I declined (Short reason: If I was going to hell, I wasn't going to take someone with me. I no longer have this line of reasoning.) His feelings didn't manifest and create a huge rift in our relationship until I began dating a fairly popular girl at my church. He was crushed when he found out and acted absolutely heartbroken. He told me I was his "inspiration for remaining single" and thought I felt the same as he did. Against my wishes, we drifted apart quickly and stopped talking. He married a few short years later and didn't even invite me to the wedding. I thought I ran into him in a restaurant years down the road (after I came out and everyone knew.) We made eye contact for half a second, but then he refused to ever look my direction the rest of the time. He left soon afterwards. I've tried to keep tabs about him just to see how he's doing. It's not too hard. He's from a fairly prominent family in East Texas. currently him and his wife own a successful real estate company and are doing quite well. They seem happy on their website. If he's happy then I'm happy for him. I doubt I'll ever know now anything else. Our lives are way too different now.

Observation... It's funny... almost all the girls I dated ended up "confessing" to me that they were bi-sexual or at least "thought about" playing with girls. I eventually determined that the phrase "birds of a feather" had some meaning to it. They were comfortable dating me because I would understand their feelings and vice-versa. Sexually, it was just unfulfilling for me with girls... one outstanding memory: WAY TOO MUCH WORK! Hands, mouth, legs, etc... all worn out and never felt like I accomplished anything. As for the emotional side, I had several girlfriends but never felt anything different than a deep respect, closeness, and friendship for any of them. Sex was always awkward.

I do identify beauty when I see it. Still, to this day, I think Sarah McLachlan is one of the most beautiful women in the world:

But to this one... I've seen thousands of guys that I couldn't make up my mind over :AH-HA_wink:

[deftonesfan867]

Some of you would like to know....but I'm not telling :AH-HA_wink:

[Camino LS6]

This is something of a mystery, isn't it?

My theory is that minds are attracted to minds and that the package those minds come in sometimes confuses the issue. In other words, sex is mental/emotional and the physical part just comes along for the ride.

[The O.C.]

This is something of a mystery, isn't it?

My theory is that minds are attracted to minds and that the package those minds come in sometimes confuses the issue. In other words, sex is mental/emotional and the physical part just comes along for the ride.

It is a mystery. Remember my example of my best friend in college.

I can still remember the emotional feelings that I had for him. It was SO strong. And remember, sex wasn't involved at all......(at least not until that tryst we had years later.) That's prolly the one thing that really has convinced me it's genetic....the emotional feelings that I've had for guys that I've been in love with. You can't just turn those strong internal feelings on-or-off......

It's not just the fact that you like a d*ck better than p*ssy.....or that you like to take it up the butt as opposed to putting it in a woman.....(although that IS part of it.)

[The O.C.]

errhhh.... I had (kind of) similar experiences when I was a teen... Both OC's & Scharmer's... However when my relationship with girls turned sexual, I knew I was gay. Denied it for quite a while, but...

Experience 2 - I also had a verrrryyy attractive male friend in my church during my teens that was non-sexual but swear to gaud we loved each other. He knew I had leanings, but I was struggling with it. He asked if he could kiss me once, and I declined (Short reason: If I was going to hell, I wasn't going to take someone with me. I no longer have this line of reasoning.) His feelings didn't manifest and create a huge rift in our relationship until I began dating a fairly popular girl at my church. He was crushed when he found out and acted absolutely heartbroken. He told me I was his "inspiration for remaining single" and thought I felt the same as he did. Against my wishes, we drifted apart quickly and stopped talking. He married a few short years later and didn't even invite me to the wedding. I thought I ran into him in a restaurant years down the road (after I came out and everyone knew.) We made eye contact for half a second, but then he refused to ever look my direction the rest of the time. He left soon afterwards. I've tried to keep tabs about him just to see how he's doing. It's not too hard. He's from a fairly prominent family in East Texas. currently him and his wife own a successful real estate company and are doing quite well. They seem happy on their website. If he's happy then I'm happy for him. I doubt I'll ever know now anything else. Our lives are way too different now.

You know....your story sounds pretty similar to mine...at least on an emotional level.

I finally told my friend I was gay....and he had absolutely no problem with it. However, I never expressed how I felt about him.....or talked to him about our "relationship" in college.

I guess I always kindof assumed he understood.....without me having to express it.....

[Camino LS6]

A wise woman once told me that she believed that human beings weren't homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual, but that they were simply sexual.

Now I don't know that she was right, but I found the idea to be thought-provoking.

[NOS2006]

I do identify beauty when I see it. Still, to this day, I think Sarah McLachlan is one of the most beautiful women in the world:

Of all women, you picked her?!

[The O.C.]

A wise woman once told me that she believed that human beings weren't homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual, but that they were simply sexual.

Now I don't know that she was right, but I found the idea to be thought-provoking.

LOL.....could be....

But then how do you explain the fact that I'm so turned off by any sexual thought of a woman......but sport an instant woody at the mere thought of kissing a guy? Or that I crave a man....but have never even wondered what it would be like with a woman.....and then finally the fact that of all the girls/women I'm met throughout my life, I've never had any sort of emotional or passionate connection with them?

If I felt equal parts for both men and women (bisexual?) I might agree with that theory.....but there are enough of us that recognize ourselves as "gay" as opposed to "bisexual" that I think explains it's more-or-less one-way or the other.....

[Camino LS6]

Well, I'm not even sure what all of the nuances of what she said really mean anyway. I certainly don't have any definitive answers for the questions you ask. Perhaps it is all best left as a mystery, much as the nature and existence of God ought to be left a mystery. For me, the bottom line is that someone's sexual nature is none of my concern.

[K.C.]

This posts hits home for me. I had a deeply intimate emotional relationship with a woman in my teens and early 20s. Being young, I thought that this was being "in love". We dated and had a sexual relationship, and once I met my former partner, I told her I was gay and she was surprisingly accepting of it and remained in my life until I removed her from it because of her recent drug problem. She was the mother of my two children. I missed the woman that she used to be before drugs took that person away from everyone who loved her. She died last week because of her drug use.

As for some of the posts, it shows that some straight folks still separate themselves from gay folks, and it's sad to see since we're all part of the same community. It really doesn't matter who are programmed to fall in love with. The fact that some are closed to deeply intimate friendships with someone of the same sex doesn't make you gay. It makes you human.

Camino, I like what you said about the lady who said that people are simply sexual. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

O.C., I can probably get kicked out of the "bear" culture for saying this, but I am with you on hairy backs. I like the hairy chest, stomach, legs, arms, and furry faces, but I wax the hair that has been growing in on my back and shoulders. I used to just pluck out what I could.

[Camino LS6]

Damn KC, that's one heavy reality you are dealing with. My condolences to you and your kids.

[usonia]

I think this is related, if not, just ignore it.

In the beginning, attraction to a person is purely physical. Think about walking around in a public place where there are a lot of people. You scan the crowd and you can pick out various people you are attracted to. This is before you have even spoken to them. If you do speak to them and start to get to know their personality, the attraction begins to move from the physical to the mental/emotional. As the mental/emotional attraction begins to grow, it affects your physical attraction to the person. For me, if a person turns out to be someone whose personality is not 'attractive' to me, I also lose the physical attraction to them.

Now the thing that I've often wondered is if there have ever been studies done on people who are blind from birth and what impact that has on their sexual orientation. Since physical attraction is mainly visual, how does that affect your sexuality if you have never seen the physical characteristics of men versus women?

[NOS2006]

Wow, KC, I'm really sorry about that. I know you can deal with the pain though.. you pluck your body hairs!

All kidding aside, I am truly sorry. I didn't know your kids were actually yours, I always just had it in my head that they were adopted. Let us know if you need any help.

[The O.C.]

I think this is related, if not, just ignore it.

In the beginning, attraction to a person is purely physical. Think about walking around in a public place where there are a lot of people. You scan the crowd and you can pick out various people you are attracted to. This is before you have even spoken to them. If you do speak to them and start to get to know their personality, the attraction begins to move from the physical to the mental/emotional. As the mental/emotional attraction begins to grow, it affects your physical attraction to the person. For me, if a person turns out to be someone whose personality is not 'attractive' to me, I also lose the physical attraction to them.

Now the thing that I've often wondered is if there have ever been studies done on people who are blind from birth and what impact that has on their sexual orientation. Since physical attraction is mainly visual, how does that affect your sexuality if you have never seen the physical characteristics of men versus women?

Great thoughts. And I agree.

Anyone that says looks "don't count" is lying. I would agree physical attraction occurs first, and then you get emotionally attracted (or not.)

My bf Joe and I met online (seems to be an increasing trend these days) so I knew, at least from pictures, that he was a totally cutie. He came to visit the first time about a week after we started chatting. It was only a week, but we had gotten along so well, at least over the phone, we needed to see if there really was something there.

When I saw him walking down from the plane the very first time, my heart skipped beats and my stomach churned. He was every bit as adorable, if not more, in person. I'd have to say that, if one had a "type", physically, Joe is like my dream-come-true.....in every way.

That being said, as soon as we got in the car at the airport, there was no question that we'd be together. Something just told me. We were too comfortable together. We NEVER had any of those awkward feelings of "meeting-for-the-first-time-and-getting-comfortable-with-one-another." Joe felt the same easiness that I did. Needless to say, that first long-weekend visit of his was about as perfect as it could get.

That's what I mean about the emotional taking control.

Now, of course, I still find him overwhelmingly attractive.....but being emotionally committed to him too only heightens the powerfulness of the relationship. I still get butterflies and goosebumps when I see him walking down from the plane....but not it's not just because he's so "cute"....it's now because I love him....and I know he loves me.

Even having sex is different with him.....I truly feel like I've been "making love" for the first time with someone....not just f*cking.

Of course we have a long road ahead of us....and we'll have our challenges...and our mistakes....but also our rewards. I guess all of my rambling on here about him and what we feel for each other speaks to Usonia's post above....and the powerful impact of the emotions.

(ps.....I'd also love to see how blind people react. If I had to harbor a guess, they are probably gay or straight just like the rest of us. Blind people do have other senses.....touch, for example....but I bet it's just as ingrained in them on who they are going to fall in love with. I think there's just too much difference separating men and women from physical looks/attraction alone. I know I couldn't be with a woman....emotionally or physically NO MATTER what she looked like....it just doesn't work for me.)

[regfootball]

Of all women, you picked her?!

sarah is HAWT! OMG

ven, the too much work quote made me LOL.....it does seem like it, too much fussing to do something simple.