Just... Blah.

[Cory Wolfe]

Just... blah... Feeling shitty and bored. So here's what a wonderful time I'm having... My GA is already dirty after spending all day Saturday washing and waxing. I can't beleive it. I just wish my car could stay for more than a day. It's ridiculous. Anyways, it's been good to me, lately. No more problems have occured and most that previously did, have fixed themselves. Although, I've noticed that my dash has developed a really bad... noise. Go around a turn or over a rough spot and I hear it. It's like a rattling/creaking sound. It was just there all of a sudden. It's not like I can hear it when I have my music at my prefered volume, though. Anyways, I almost had some problems. Since the curvy roads around here can't be resisted, I drive my GA to it's limits. I push it around turns. Tire screaching and all (It's just now starting to squeal the tires... the front ones, that is. They probably will need replaced soon. Especially before winter). Well, you guys remember the pic I took of the roads around here? Yeah... So, I was coming around a turn pretty fast and a truck came the opposite side. I moved over as far as I could without slowing down much. Let's just say that didn't work out. I lost traction and came too close to losing it. I hate school. I do. I really do. I've been practically out-of-it since the beginning. I don't remember much. Having a hard time staying awake, paying attention, and focusing in school. Grades show it too. This is going to be a bad year. I swear something is wrong with me. Nothing is right anymore. I can't do anything in school and a I feel like shit. Mentally, physically, and literally. I've felt sick everyday I woke up for the past few weeks. I've also being mentally drained. I seem to have a constant headache and I just want to do nothing. Weird. I think I'm going to have to see someone about all this... Bekah hasn't been speaking to me lately. Don't know why. She hasn't called or PMed me in over a week. I finally told her that I was bi, but she was fine with it and said that she might be too. So, that doesn't seem like the reason... IDK... But I wish everyone was bi because I am having serious issues. Then again, I wish I wasn't so fucking shy in the first place. Anywho... yeah, my eyes have spotted stuff that's making my brain, um, want it? Wow... then again, there are some things on the original opposite spectrum too. But overall, just had alot of this shit on my mind... So... who wants to drug me out and/or kill me? :P

[Sixty8panther]

You need to find your "happy place". Seriously, constant depression is not healthy even for a teenager.

[ocnblu]

Boredom is a formidable enema. I mean enemy. Everything you say above seems to be still on the "normal for your age" scale.

Do you have a favorite class at school, or is it all bad?

Dude, the farm lane was sand, oyster shells, and gravel. Until it rained, then it was mud. I could never keep my vehicle clean. Our lane was half a mile long. So I know where you're coming from on that.

How do you feel about Bekah's reaction to your confession about yourself? Were you encouraged, disappointed, indifferent? This has the potential to strengthen your relationship with her in the long run. DON'T WORRY.

Edited October 17, 2005 by ocnblu

[Teh Ricer Civic!]

cept for your last few paragraphs i know exactly how you feel. you knever know, maybe one of your classes will spark an interest you or something. If you have something-- anything-- to look forward to itll help you in school. or you can just think of how fabulously rich you will be if you do well in school. ^_^ Or you could fake yourself into taking nothing seriously, its really not had to do, and sometimes youll do such stupid things you cant help but laugh at yourself. Edited October 18, 2005 by Teh Ricer Civic!

[capriceman]

You'll get over it. Trust me. i have been there just wait till graduation. then life sucks even more trust me. So have fun in high school. go to partys, have a half keger. these days will actully be fun when you think about them later. You CAN hit a freind! You CAN'T hit a Boss! Any way I <3 (love) pushing cars to the limit. I love G's to Yesterday in my caprice i hit 79 down a side street, tell you what that 305 gets up and goes!! O yeah Speeding tickets arent new for me. I only push when its safe i dont drive 90 in rush hour or anything. Up north and curvy roads is all i need to put a smile on my face. My aunts Vette, she hates me now but, I asked her to let me drive it, she said only if i go with you. It was fun, She was screaming in every corner. Her 03 50th edition vette can go 120 around bends and suck into the seat. After i drove back I asked "was that fun," she glared at me and i said it was fun to me. later she wanted me to do it again but it was night so i only took her to 100, because of deer a dew was forming.

[Teh Ricer Civic!]

You'll get over it. Trust me. i have been there just wait till graduation. then life sucks even more trust me. So have fun in high school. go to partys, have a half keger. these days will actully be fun when you think about them later. You CAN hit a freind! You CAN'T hit a Boss!

Any way I <3 (love) pushing cars to the limit. I love G's to Yesterday in my caprice i hit 79 down a side street, tell you what that 305 gets up and goes!! O yeah Speeding tickets arent new for me. I only push when its safe i dont drive 90 in rush hour or anything. Up north and curvy roads is all i need to put a smile on my face.

My aunts Vette, she hates me now but, I asked her to let me drive it, she said only if i go with you. It was fun, She was screaming in every corner. Her 03 50th edition vette can go 120 around bends and suck into the seat. After i drove back I asked "was that fun," she glared at me and i said it was fun to me. later she wanted me to do it again but it was night so i only took her to 100, because of deer a dew was forming.

[post="30430"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

Ooohhh moderate speed fun in a caprice... sounds... fun?

the vette sounds awesome tho B)

[Guest volley]

i just want to say that the reason why i havent talked to you in like a week is because i have been busy with volleyball....games, practice, and whatnot.....and id like to thank you for announceing to the site about me being bi.....im not that pissed...i would just like to know why you cant call me maybe.....just after five...you know why....anyways read your PMs i have something to tell you that might upset you, but i hope you will be happy for me..... Edited October 18, 2005 by volley

[capriceman]

Ooohhh moderate speed fun in a caprice... sounds... fun?

the vette sounds awesome tho  B)

[post="30446"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

yeah in a 90 caprice going almost 80 down sides streets is a rush. If only i had the 350 (5.7) :rolleyes:

Corvettes+Curves=ultimate happieness!! ^_^

Oh Volley no one cares!! well at least I don't!

[deftonesfan867]

Things will getter dude. I'm 25 and getting a divorce :( . I't can suck thinking that you found the one and it fails due to "finding others on the net", but I know thing will get better and i'll find love again. I know how it feels being your age and thinking your stuck, but trust me it's not the end of the road.

[Cory Wolfe]

Sixty8... finding it is a bitch. Unless, you're implying that I take drugs to this 'happy place'... :P Ocnblu... Not really. There are some that I should like, but am still doing horrible in. Like art for some stupid reason.Anyhow, the only class that I'm doing good in is Woodshop. I guess I kinda like it as it's better than a regular class, though... As for Bekah, yeah I was kind of happy at her reaction as I was expecting the worst. TRC... I try to think of the money I could possibly make if I just do good in school, but it's not helping. I literally am... just... problematic. I need help... Woah, irony. I watched South Park last night and it played the episode where every kid gets ADD and gets ritalin (sp?). Maybe I need to see if I really have that to get that shit... :D Volley... Woah, you posted?!?!? Anyways... I see. I'm sorry about telling them that, but its not like anyone really knows you here except me. That and the Lounge is for members only, so if someone from our area visited, they couldn't see it unless they registered. I doubt anybody else from around here visits this site anyways. As for calling, I could probably do that. I never really thought about it. Anyways, sorry to everyone for annoying you with my problems...

[mute]

its fine about annoying us with yout problems but realize tha you can take care of them without any type of prescription or controlled substances trust me it could get worse and ive seen it...... stay alive and clean and take care of yourself.......know that things are blech but dont worry about them jsut deal with em as they can be delt with

[Croc]

^^what he said. seriously, from somewhere who's been there and done that...wallowing in self pity and being a drama king isn't going to do anything but make you feel worse. There are some things you can control and some things you cannot. I got this on an Ignatian retreat at St. Meinrad senior year of HS:

Prayor for Starting Over

Dear God, give me
the courage to begin again-
to overlook the difficulties,
to overcome the obstacles
and to stay open to the
moment as best I can. Help
me be patient enough to know
it takes time to start over,
and wise enough to ask for help
from friends and family
when I need it.
As I look to the future,
may I reflect on the past
and remember the lessons
it's taught me. And, God,
may I always look to you
for strength and guidance.

I know you aren't that religious, but neither am I. Hopefully it'll help you out.

[Cory Wolfe]

I suppose, but dealing with them wasn't making anything better. I just thought you guys could be helpful, as you all are and have been before. I believe I just need something to take it off my mind. Whatever that may be, I need it and I need to find it quickly... (wish it were in the form of person, but that seems doubtful) As for the prayer, IDK, I really am not that religious. At all. I just don't believe in all of that stuff. So, praying to God would be like saving up for that V-12 powered Pontiac Banshee sitting at the local dealership. IDK... perhaps it would help, but I just don't know...

[capriceman]

Buying things or takeing drugs arent the way.

[ShadowDog]

Avoid the drugs. They are no solution. You grew up just fine didn't you? It would seem more likely that there are circumstances in your life that just place you where you feel emotionally. I girl I know takes drugs for everything wrong in her life. The doctor is practically her best friend, perscribing everything to accomodate her inability to take responsibilty for her crappy life. She thinks that it's normal to say that it's the drugs not working properly instead of realizing that her stupid emotional problems are her own creation. By no means am I suggesting that you are in the same position; however, there can be adjustments to your life that can be made without resorting to a chemical that will merely allow you to accept things the way they are without healthy change.

[rearden82]

Although I agree that it's far healthier and more productive to get to the root of depression rather than taking drugs, it doesn't work for everybody. Some people have low or inconsistent levels of mood-regulating chemicals in their brains. In this case, it's like an engine running with only 1 or 2 quarts of oil. The only thing that will make it run better is to put the proper amount of oil in it. But definitely stay away from recreational drugs and alcohol. They will make you feel better temporarily, but you feel worse than before after they wear off, and they create a lot more problems than they solve. If you think you have problems now, imagine getting a DUI--you could lose your license, pay thousands in fines, and everyone in your home town would get to read about it in the newspaper. Try talking about your problems with a close friend or family member. It's amazing how sometimes just getting things off your chest can help. And think about all the positive aspects of your life--you're getting an education, you have a roof over your head, you can afford to eat, you have a nice car... A lot of people have none of these things. If that doesn't do the trick, see a counselor. They can assess your situation and give you options to pursue such as talk therapy and antidepressants. Good luck!

[chris]

you don't use sex, drugs and rock 'n roll to make a bad life okay, you use them to make a great life fantastic. or at least as much of that as is legal and wise. or something. a wise man (actually a woman, and who knows who she was quoting) once said "sex isn't a band aid." once i got over my own humor in the fact that she was comparing an abstract concept to a disposable medical device, i realized the wisdom of that is that escaping from large difficulties through small pleasures serves only to distract you while things get worse.

[Guest volley]

"Oh Volley no one cares!! well at least I don't!"-Capriceman stupid, i am bekah and i kinda figured that cory would want to know why i havent talked to him!! ok?

[Croc]

capriceman was referring to your sexuality...so don't be so rude next time, ok?

[ehaase]

You should start reading the Bible, especially the New Testament, and ask God to reveal Himself to you. It works for most people who try sincerely.

[Cory Wolfe]

Oh... So I actually have to read something for that to work!?!?!? :P Yeah, I used to try and pray. I used to believe. I used to ask for him to show me he existed. I used to ask for signs... Needless to say, it was like Santa Clause all over again. Stop beleiving in God and all that just like I did with him. I see no difference and its all mythical to me. Just... lies, IMO. Sorry to be harsh, but that's what I believe. As for using drugs... Its not like I have access to any, anyways. But it may end up with me saying "the hell with it" and/or "f**k it" and just doing it. I've had a few moments like that in my life before. They didn't end well other than the fact that I'm still here. Would drugs make anything better or worse? I don't know, but if I come to that point again, I don't want to go through what I did again. I'd probably be willing to take a chance with drugs. However, I would really like to avoid the drugs altogether. I mean, other than occasional drinking and smoking, I've been rather drug free; medical drugs and recreational drugs. I just don't know how. I appreciate you all trying to help, guys, but it just isn't actually helping. I don't know what you want me to do. All I know for sure is that you don't want to use drugs. What do you what me to do to avoid that? Especially since taking that choice is looking better and better each day....

[ShadowDog]

Although I agree that it's far healthier and more productive to get to the root of depression rather than taking drugs, it doesn't work for everybody.

... Try talking about your problems with a close friend or family member. ...

... If that doesn't do the trick, see a counselor. They can assess your situation and give you options to pursue such as talk therapy and antidepressants. Good luck!

[post="32814"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

Understood. I suppose I should have mentioned that in order to clarify my point of view without looking like I am not compassionate to those with the inability to rescue themselves from their negative state without the use of drugs.

I agree with communication. That can be the greatest assistance in most cases. There are times when all you are trying to do is seek answers; however, sometimes all you need is someone just to ask you the right questions, and you manage to help yourself.

[zhawk]

Stay away from 'recreational' drugs. They may seem like an answer now but all they will be is a problem you will find harder to deal with than your current situation. My best advice is find someone who you can trust to sit down and talk with. Problems kept to yourself are often maginfied, once shared they can be put in their place and you can move on with your life. Counsellers are there to listen to you and help you deal with things. I know things seem bad right now but, believe me, you can work through everything. Good luck and take care.

[Mule Bakersdozen LS]

You should start reading the Bible, especially the New Testament, and ask God to reveal Himself to you.  It works for most people who try sincerely.

[post="33069"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

Amen ehaase-it works for me-I just need to read more-last week I was really busy and I didn't read as much as I should have, but this week I hope I'm on track and to grow even more.

[chris]

As for using drugs... Its not like I have access to any, anyways. But it may end up with me saying "the hell with it" and/or "f**k it" and just doing it. I've had a few moments like that in my life before. They didn't end well other than the fact that I'm still here. Would drugs make anything better or worse? I don't know, but if I come to that point again, I don't want to go through what I did again. I'd probably be willing to take a chance with drugs. However, I would really like to avoid the drugs altogether. I mean, other than occasional drinking and smoking, I've been rather drug free; medical drugs and recreational drugs. I just don't know how. I appreciate you all trying to help, guys, but it just isn't actually helping. I don't know what you want me to do. All I know for sure is that you don't want to use drugs. What do you what me to do to avoid that? Especially since taking that choice is looking better and better each day....

[post="33131"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

that's pretty insane, why are you obsessing so much about this being an option? you know it isn't. drinking away your problems never works, with drugs you just have a 1000x worse hangover the next day/week/month.

don't "just avoid it", just realize it won't solve your problems. i guess i should be asking this: what do you think drugs (and what drugs are you thinking about anyway) will do to solve your problems?

one of the best solutions to life's problems, in my highly experienced opinion, is having a very good friend you can discuss these problems with. don't worry about solving them, just get it off your chest first. try not to choose a friend who you are otherwise attracted to. Edited October 24, 2005 by chris

[Croc]

See here's the thing. This kind of stuff is much better with a counselor than a bunch of car enthusiasts. Counselors have psychology degrees and can refer you to places for help. We? Are car enthusiasts. We? Don't have access to any of that. Your best bet would be talking to the school counselor or youth advocate at your school.

[LosAngeles]

^^That post makes me think of the Ask Jeeves commercial... Anyway, admins, can we see the "no political talk" and raise it "no religious talk" please? Thanks.

[Cory Wolfe]

Thanks for the help, now how about letting this thread die...

[Croc]

^^That post makes me think of the Ask Jeeves commercial...

Anyway, admins, can we see the "no political talk" and raise it "no religious talk" please?  Thanks.

[post="33366"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

This really doesn't have "religious talk" as there is no debating or anything going on and nothing is turning ugly.