Chevy FTW

[Drew Dowdell]

So this guy I'm... uh... spending quality evenings with.... has a Honda Pilot. He likes to brag about how reliable Honda is and tells me I should trade my "unreliable domestic" in on a Ridgeline.

This morning I get a call asking for a favor. His Pilot has broken down and could I take him to work. Apparently all the idiot lights came on and he's stuck in limp home mode doing 25mph.

Pilot 43,000 miles -limping home with all dash lights lit

Avalanche 84,000 miles - oil changes and tires only, taking his ass to work

So the day after Thanksgiving, he gets to eat crow. I just hope he likes stuffing with it cause he's gettin that too when I pick him up tonight.

[Camino LS6]

Poetic justice.

[the_yellow_dart]

Prediction: The problem will somehow be chalked up to bad maintainance, and he will blame himself, not Honda.

[Drew Dowdell]

Prediction: The problem will somehow be chalked up to bad maintainance, and he will blame himself, not Honda.

possibly, but I don't care... I'm still gettin laid tonight out of this.....

[the_yellow_dart]

Just as long as he calls out your name in bed and not "Honda" or "Pilot" or whatever nickname he may have for his trucklet. :AH-HA_wink:

[K.C.]

possibly, but I don't care... I'm still gettin laid tonight out of this.....

Tell him to trade vehicles, then he can have some nookie.

[VenSeattle]

Tell him to trade vehicles, then he can have some nookie.

You're nuts!

We're talking about gay men here. We hold out to win battles. Women hold out to win wars. We recognize life is way too short and sex is way too important to hold out for the sake of a war!

Besides... it doesn't matter the outcome... it's always a win/win

[tmp]

Telling sn Avalanche owner to trade for a Ridgeline is like telling a hungry puma to drop that meat and try this nice tofurkey. It's not going to work out well...

[Drew Dowdell]

Tell him to trade vehicles, then he can have some nookie.

Whatch you talkin about Willis? I better be gettin nookie for rescuing him today.

he can drive whatever he wants during the day as long as he knows what he's gonna be ridin every night.

[Drew Dowdell]

You're nuts!

We're talking about gay men here. We hold out to win battles. Women hold out to win wars. We recognize life is way too short and sex is way too important to hold out for the sake of a war!

Besides... it doesn't matter the outcome... it's always a win/win

I don't think either of us is holding out on the other.... I'm just gettin a little extra

[Drew Dowdell]

Prediction: The problem will somehow be chalked up to bad maintainance, and he will blame himself, not Honda.

Apparently something up with the AWD system + transmission... from the sounds of it either a sensor went bad or the AWD is a goner. I'm guessing just a sensor because he was able to drive it home ok.... just under 25 mph.

[Z-06]

Apparently something up with the AWD system + transmission... from the sounds of it either a sensor went bad or the AWD is a goner. I'm guessing just a sensor because he was able to drive it home ok.... just under 25 mph.

The bigger the problem the more riding for you, right?

[the_yellow_dart]

So does this mean he got cornholed by Honda and Oldsmoboi?

[wpbharry]

he got cornholed by Oldsmoboi

He can be my knight in shining latex the next time the Maxx breaks.

In fact, I think I just might have to go down to the garage and 'work' on the car now...

Wow, a second erotic use for scissors! How exciting!

[SuperSport623]

[Sixty8panther]

Awsome. I for one am happy to hear that.

Prediction: The problem will somehow be chalked up to bad maintainance, and he will blame himself, not Honda.

Yup, sounds very beleivable.

Uhhh... the PCV valve was on too tight.

the last oil change was done on a Friday the 13th

aaaaaand it has Firestone tires

or maybe the blinker fluid was low...

[Oracle of Delphi]

May I suggest a glow in the dark condom to go with all his idiot lights! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go ...

[ocnblu]

Imagine an Avalanche trying to drive into a garage built for a Pilot... :AH-HA_wink:

[Z-06]

Imagine an Avalanche trying to drive into a garage built for a Pilot... :AH-HA_wink:

Get ready for calling home insurance for fixing a torn, bruised garage, saying that an avalanche hit the only house in the entire neighborhood.

[Drew Dowdell]

Imagine an Avalanche trying to drive into a garage built for a Pilot... :AH-HA_wink:

don't have to imagine.... :AH-HA_wink:

[Drew Dowdell]

A new, unrelated, Chevy FTW.

So I'm driving down a 3 lane commercial highway when I hear this loud burble-burble. Up comes this tool in a previous gen Golf with about 400lbs of body mods and a fart can exhausts. From the *sound* of it, it was a standard 4-cylinder, I heard no turbo and.. well it sounded like a 4banger. He's being an idiot making all sorts of "look at me" noises with is fart can.

I'm in the Avalanche at the light in the left lane, Golf Tool is in the center lane, and up pulls Gramps* in the right lane in a black current generation Impala SS.

Golf tool is sitting there reving his engine but I don't know who he was aiming for because I'm in a truck and why would you pick a fight with some old guy.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. Light changes to green and Golf-tool has surprisingly good reaction time and takes off out in front. Gramps wakes up and realizes what's going on and decides to throw the hammer down. Golf tool gets pwned. I'm following behind in the truck, not even trying, watching the whole scene and laughing.

The 3 of us make it to the next light. Golf tool is irritated now and decides to try it again. Only this time Gramps is completely awake from his nap.

Light changes green and they're both off.... The Impala SS is barking it's tires but he still pwns Golf tool again. Golf tool runs off down the commercial highway while Gramps and I take the on ramp to the interstate.

I get up next to Gramps and give him a thumbs up... which he returns with a smile.

*Basically, Lutz with darker hair.

[Camino LS6]

What a beautiful story - brings a tear to my eye.

[Z-06]

See how much a Push Rod with 4 speed in a W-body can do.

Good one.

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

You're nuts!

We're talking about gay men here. We hold out to win battles. Women hold out to win wars. We recognize life is way too short and sex is way too important to hold out for the sake of a war!

Besides... it doesn't matter the outcome... it's always a win/win

No kidding... My gay roommate gets laid at nothing. Us straight guys have to "work for it"

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

A new, unrelated, Chevy FTW.

So I'm driving down a 3 lane commercial highway when I hear this loud burble-burble. Up comes this tool in a previous gen Golf with about 400lbs of body mods and a fart can exhausts. From the *sound* of it, it was a standard 4-cylinder, I heard no turbo and.. well it sounded like a 4banger. He's being an idiot making all sorts of "look at me" noises with is fart can.

I'm in the Avalanche at the light in the left lane, Golf Tool is in the center lane, and up pulls Gramps* in the right lane in a black current generation Impala SS.

Golf tool is sitting there reving his engine but I don't know who he was aiming for because I'm in a truck and why would you pick a fight with some old guy.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. Light changes to green and Golf-tool has surprisingly good reaction time and takes off out in front. Gramps wakes up and realizes what's going on and decides to throw the hammer down. Golf tool gets pwned. I'm following behind in the truck, not even trying, watching the whole scene and laughing.

The 3 of us make it to the next light. Golf tool is irritated now and decides to try it again. Only this time Gramps is completely awake from his nap.

Light changes green and they're both off.... The Impala SS is barking it's tires but he still pwns Golf tool again. Golf tool runs off down the commercial highway while Gramps and I take the on ramp to the interstate.

I get up next to Gramps and give him a thumbs up... which he returns with a smile.

*Basically, Lutz with darker hair.

Excellent!

[ocnblu]

Now see, that is Chevrolet's natural role as America's Brand. Gotta love good ol' Chevrolet Power.

[makfu]

Want a Chevy FTW story?

So yesterday I am on the Garden State Parkway, driving up from my office in Iselin and what appears next to me? A really, REALLY riced-out Civic. I am talking 100lb competition spec adjustable (and totally unnecessary) spoiler, stupid looking body kit, fake over-blue HIDS, fire extinguisher on the passenger A-pillar, all “riden on rimz” with about 1 inch of ground clearance. As I look over at the douche driving this mobile abomination, passing me in the far left lane, I see he has his seat practically reclined into the trunk and has all the necessary trappings of true douchbaggery, including 34 air fresheners, NOS pressure gauges and neon blacklights.

So, as we approach the Essex toll-plaza, he cuts over three lanes (directly in front of me) to get to the far-right EasyPass lanes. But he makes one very serious mistake – he cuts off an otherwise mild-mannered driver in the far right lane right before the lanes fan out for the toll booths. What his royal doucheness is completely oblivious too is that he has cutoff a jet-black C6 Corvette Z06. At that moment, I could sense that the driver of the Z06 was seriously pissed and had decided to make it his personal mission to punish Mr. Rice and his Civic. I decided to keep up and watch the drama unfold

The Vette, at this point, chooses the adjacent toll lane and as both the Z06 and douchebag Civic exit the booths, the Vette begins running side by side with the Civic. As the lanes merge back to the normal five lanes, the Z06 slides over to the fast lane, all the while keeping perfect pace with the Civic, which now sounds like a seal being flogged to death, as it whales and drones through its idiotic oversized muffler. 70, 80, 90… the Civic runs out of room and has to slot behind the Vette.

Now is when it gets interesting, the Vette starts deliberately slowing down, to a more reasonable 75 (it is about 4pm, after all), and the Civic’s driver becomes livid, darting from one edge of the lane to the other to try and see around the Vette. As soon as he sees an opening in the adjacent lane, he cuts over, and floors it. BWAAAAAHHHH, BWAAAAAHHHHH… he gets maybe half a car length in front of the Vette (the Z06’s driver letting them both get back up to near triple digits at the leisurely pace of acceleration the Civic is capable of) and then the Vette hits the throttle, wickedly shooting forward two car lengths in front of the Civic right as the Civic is running up on traffic in his lane, forcing him back behind the Vette.

This happens SEVEN times over a 10 minute period before Douchemaster-flex in his ricearony Civic realizes that it’s totally hopeless and that he had, in fact, been made a full-fledged member of the bitch-squad. Having finally resigned himself to his proper role in the automotive world, he moved to the second lane from the right and proceeded to draw no further attention to himself until he exited the parkway at Bloomfield.

So what’s the moral of this story? First, don’t be a douche and cut people off. Second, don’t be a douche and pick a fight with a Corvette Z06 when you are driving a ridiculous looking riced out Civic.

[ocnblu]

FANTASTIC!

[Camino LS6]

Outstanding story Makfu!

Very well- written too.

[makfu]

Outstanding story Makfu!

Very well- written too.

The only thing that could have made it better is if Darth Douche's girlfriend had been in his car. Even so, it was the worst case of pure automotive FAIL I have seen in a long, long time. While watching the scene unfold, I was, in fact, LOL.

[04monteintimidator]

hahaha awesome story... it will never cease to amaze me the sheer amount of rice that drives on the parkway... i have yet to see anything that tops the circa 1985 cavalier with pep-boys snap on spinners, bleacher seating spoiler and yellow tinted windows tho but the civic you described sounds like it could do it... i hope to see it one day... that story could actually qualify as a Chevy FTW since said rice-alier actually challenged my Monte before its untimely death... but since the cavalier was a Chevy as well... im not so sure it counts...

[jcgable]

Brilliant! I love stories like that! The civic was owned!

Oh, and yes, gay men get laid more often when single. Gay culture is something that had to be created within the last 30-50 years, and therefore it is a lot more... errr... ummm streamlined. Basically gay men cut out the read tape when it comes to sex, and having somebody that you can have sex with casually and safely is the result. I prefer relationships, but having someone I can just 'enjoy' when I'm single is very very nice.

[makfu]

Brilliant! I love stories like that! The civic was owned!

Oh, and yes, gay men get laid more often when single. Gay culture is something that had to be created within the last 30-50 years, and therefore it is a lot more... errr... ummm streamlined. Basically gay men cut out the read tape when it comes to sex, and having somebody that you can have sex with casually and safely is the result. I prefer relationships, but having someone I can just 'enjoy' when I'm single is very very nice.

Wait... what?! Are you saying the guy in the Civic was gay? I would think gay dudes would find that very insulting.

[76ChevyTrucker]

Well, the stories in here bring back a memor from college. Friend of mine in the dorms owned a '72 SS350 Chevelle, I of course own the blue beast in my signature. We also have a mutual friend whom brews certain products containing a high concentration of alcohol for "medicinal purposes". Any way we slice it, you take the 20-gallon fuel tank of my truck, add 3/4 of the tank full of 'shine, the rest gas, and the same concentration for the Chevelle. After making sure that everything was kosher, we head out and do the normal goof off routine for a saturday night in college (go cruise the strip, hit the bowling alley, play a little poker, call it a night). Well we get up to the light, I'm in the far right lane, Jeff (friend with the Chevelle) is in the far left lane, and Mr. Rice himself pulls into the center. By rice, I mean we're looking at a 1997-ish Honda Accord with full body kit, underglow, interior glow, rims tires, twin fart cannons hanging out the tail, all that jazz. So we're waiting for the light and he revs his 2.2 in the Accord. No big deal, me and Jeff slam the throttles down in our rides (both 350 powered, both cammed, carbed, and ready to race) and when we let off, both of our rides are boiling blue and white flames from the exhaust.

Light changes, little Accord pulls out ahead for about a fender length. The Chevelle and my truck come into our powerbands and we blow by him like he was in reverse, white flames shooting from the exhaust and the sound of sixteen cylinders bellowing from four exhaust pipes. Later in the evening we get to the bowling alley. Mr Rice is there with his girlfriend (whom was in the car, but we didn't know). Once she see's Jeff pull up in the 'Velle, she immediately ditches Mr. Rice and becomes a permenant show piece for him. I just laughed and preceded to wipe the floor with Mr. Rice after he gave me a none to friendly shove.