Therapy/Therapists

[ZL-1]

I've been wondering what's everyone's opinion about therapists/therapy... It's very hard for me to reveal myself to complete strangers, to appear vulnerable, but at the same time that's what makes therapy useful: someone who doesn't have an emotional connection to his/her client can 'kick butt' when needed and give you some 'candy' when you deserve a self-esteem boost.

So, what are everyone's thoughts about this?

[Flybrian]

Besides that I could name five people right now right here that could use one?

[regfootball]

everyone walking the face of the earth could use it from time to time.

[Drew Dowdell]

I've been wondering what's everyone's opinion about therapists/therapy... It's very hard for me to reveal myself to complete strangers, to appear vulnerable, but at the same time that's what makes therapy useful: someone who doesn't have an emotional connection to his/her client can 'kick butt' when needed and give you some 'candy' when you deserve a self-esteem boost.

So, what are everyone's thoughts about this?

I've been seeing one weekly since my breakup back in January. It helps, but you really need to develop a connection with the person. I didn't care for the first therapist I saw and I searched for another. I like the one I have now much better.

It helps, but you have to keep at it for a while. It's not going to be 5 trips and you're done.

Full disclosure: I refuse to take meds. I feel that they simply mask the underlying problem. Unless there is something chemically wrong, there is nothing meds can do that other non-medical methods can't.

I'd be happy to discuss any of this further in PM.

[Cory Wolfe]

Therapists are a-okay in my book. Having one helped immensely.

[Oracle of Delphi]

I've been wondering what's everyone's opinion about therapists/therapy... It's very hard for me to reveal myself to complete strangers, to appear vulnerable, but at the same time that's what makes therapy useful: someone who doesn't have an emotional connection to his/her client can 'kick butt' when needed and give you some 'candy' when you deserve a self-esteem boost.

So, what are everyone's thoughts about this?

They are all quacks! Tell me your problems, ZL-1, I'll give your a cure for problems for half the price. After all I am German, we have all the answers!

[K.C.]

I think they are okay if you have a problem you absolutely cannot solve, or if you are feeling anxiety. They are also great about working with people who have just learned they are HIV poz and adjust to that tragedy, or deaths in the family, and other big changes that are unsettling.

It's hard for me to reveal much about myself and even harder for me to trust anyone, so for me, it would not be easy for me to open up to anyone. If thats what you choose though, I hope it works out for you. They do help some people.

Edited October 7, 2007 by K.C.

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

Therapists are excellent if you know what you want out of it.

For example:

DO NOT go to anyone who says they're a psychoanalyst or something of that manner, because usually they are not required to even have a background in the fields of psychology or medicine.

Psychiatrists are usually medically minded, meaning their education will be something akin to a medical doctor. That means he/she will most likely evaluate you and then try to CORRECT whatever ails you through medication. It's simply because that's the view they are taught and that's what they specialize in. They consider the brain like any other part of the body; and exercise in chemistry.

Psychologists are behavior people. A true psychologist will evaluate you, then try to correct whatever ails you through some sort of behavior adjustment or supplement (Relaxation techniques, positive reinforcement, self evaluation, etc.) and then will only reccommend meds in the most severe situations. If meds are reccommended, you'll have to see a regular doctor for the prescription as Psychologists are not yet allowed by law to physically prescribe meds. (They will be soon though)

Speaking from personal experience, I would highly reccommend talking to someone if you think you need to. It isn't a sign of weakness or that you're 'crazy' as some would have you believe (I struggled with this a lot my first time going) It's very rare that you get someone who is a 'bad' therapist. I would advise being completely honest, as the person will have a hard time helping you if you are not. Just look at it like I did: This is how I feel, for better or for worse and if this person doesn't like it, then they don't have to associate with me." It is a very hard thing to open yourself up like that. I'm especially mistrusting and hard to get to know (Most of you know this from my posts here) BUT there comes a point where you realize that the thoughts running through your head are not at all healthy and need to surface some other way besides anger or grief (In my case)

I would NOT, however suggest medication of any sort unless you absolutely need it. I did the meds thing for a while and it severly affected my life in a negative way. I went from feeling these intense emotions to not really feeling anything UNTIL I would reach a certain threshold. Then all of that emotion (Usually anger) would flood me at once. It had other side effects as well, I pretty much flunked out of school because I couldn't focus on $h!, I gained a lot of weight, I was tired A LOT, I couldn't drink more than 1 or 2 beers before being at the point of passing out, etc.

Edited October 7, 2007 by FUTURE_OF_GM

[ZL-1]

Thanks for the offer PCS

Also, thanks to everyone else for the comments! I wholly agree with FOG and Oldsmoboi about medication: Unless someone convinces me there's something wrong with my brain chemistry, I'll keep thinking that any chemical substances that interfere with one's brain are just like putting a veil in front of issues, without those issues getting solved.

It's hard work looking inside, but extremely rewarding at the same time!

@ PCS (because I know you'll ask) - I'd say it's like looking at your own Gordian Knot and learning how to cut it instead of untying it. :AH-HA_wink:

For those of you that do not know the Gordian Knot story/legend, here's a Wikipedia linkypoo.

EDIT @ fly: your reply made me lol. Thanks!

Edited October 7, 2007 by ZL-1

[Oracle of Delphi]

Thanks for the offer PCS

Also, thanks to everyone else for the comments! I wholly agree with FOG and Oldsmoboi about medication: Unless someone convinces me there's something wrong with my brain chemistry, I'll keep thinking that any chemical substances that interfere with one's brain are just like putting a veil in front of issues, without those issues getting solved.

It's hard work looking inside, but extremely rewarding at the same time!

@ PCS (because I know you'll ask) - I'd say it's like looking at your own Gordian Knot and learning how to cut it instead of untying it. :AH-HA_wink:

For those of you that do not know the Gordian Knot story/legend, here's a Wikipedia linkypoo.

EDIT @ fly: your reply made me lol. Thanks!

Alexander the Great and I think alike!

[Paolino]

I've been wondering what's everyone's opinion about therapists/therapy... It's very hard for me to reveal myself to complete strangers, to appear vulnerable, but at the same time that's what makes therapy useful: someone who doesn't have an emotional connection to his/her client can 'kick butt' when needed and give you some 'candy' when you deserve a self-esteem boost.

So, what are everyone's thoughts about this?

I hate therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I didn't make that strong enough, hold on:

HATE

There you go.

For me, they've all been full of bull$h!. I've been to several, none have helped. Wanna know what helped? Good friends.

[ZL-1]

I hate therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I didn't make that strong enough, hold on:

HATE

There you go.

For me, they've all been full of bull$h!. I've been to several, none have helped. Wanna know what helped? Good friends.

it was just a question

i've always been smart enough to favour quality in place of quantity regarding my friendships, and i do have a wonderful group of friends. however, they have an emotional attachment and right now i need some detachment so i can look at things with a little less emotion. more analitically.

[Camino LS6]

I could give some opinon-based, philosophically-driven response, but I've never seen a therapist so it would be of questionable value.

I've been in plenty of situations that might call for this kind of "intervention", but I've always just dealt with it on my own. I think that has turned me into a survivor.

"that which doesn't kill you..."

[Z-06]

Meditation Helps. Always ask yourself and the supernatural for your own troubles.

[Cory Wolfe]

I hate therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I didn't make that strong enough, hold on:

HATE

There you go.

For me, they've all been full of bull$h!. I've been to several, none have helped. Wanna know what helped? Good friends.

Well, finding one that cares, helps.

[Drew Dowdell]

If you want to try meditation, might I suggest The Meditation Podcast.

I use the falling asleep one regularly.... but all of them have been helpful in their specific areas.

[Z-06]

Well, finding one that cares, helps.

How did that person care for/about you?

[Cory Wolfe]

How did that person care for/about you?

Not necessarily care for myself, per se, but actually care about what he was doing. He genuinely wanted to help out, unlike some therapists.

[K.C.]

Sean Connery Spoof from SNL

Connery: "Alex, I'll take The Rapists for $1,000 please!"

Alex: "THATS THERAPISTS!!!!!!"

[Z-06]

Sean Connery Spoof from SNL

Connery: "Alex, I'll take The Rapists for $1,000 please!"

Alex: "THATS THERAPISTS!!!!!!"

How about Famous Titties for $400?

I agree with you BV, if someone works for the people along with need to make money, one should not have problems seeing that The-rapist.

The way I look at it, I think therapists just build their model of you based on their perception of you and what answers you provide them. The only person who can give unbiased perception of yourself is you. That is how it is going to give the best results. The first step is to recognize you have/ may have problems. If you have desire to correct, you definitely will improve yourself.

[trinacriabob]

everyone walking the face of the earth could use it from time to time.

Thank you...and a much better post than the one immediately above it...sorry, Fly, like you're exempt and I only mean that "globally" since I don't know you?

There is nothing to be ashamed about in seeking any kind of help for physical or psychological conditions. The important thing is that you get help from professionals who are good at what they do. I don't know how one would line up a good therapist, per se. It might be weird to get a referral from a friend but perhaps you can get a referral from a university's counseling department or a member of the clergy with whom you feel comfortable. And, yes, as stated above, the right credentials and amount of experience are important...and you will need a baseline for your area to gauge that from. (And don't listen to PCS, Germans are only good at engineering and other RIGID things, thus lacking completely in people skills. )

Good friends are super important. My friends are my therapists in a way and, God, am I ever their therapist. I say to myself: this is what I should have done so I could charge for it! The problem is that there are different gradations of friends and some are too superficial while others are deeper.

And remember, there are also TERAPISTS, without an h, according to Dr. Ruth Westheimer. I love that lady!

Edited October 8, 2007 by trinacriabob

[ZL-1]

The way I look at it, I think therapists just build their model of you based on their perception of you and what answers you provide them. The only person who can give unbiased perception of yourself is you. That is how it is going to give the best results. The first step is to recognize you have/ may have problems. If you have desire to correct, you definitely will improve yourself.

Those are my thoughts exactly. Therapists are good at giving you hints and the occasional nudge so that you think about the information they send your way and you decide what to do: they're like a lever you use to make it easier to lift a large object. The process is actually very interesting if you look at it from the self-improvement perspective!

@ bob - Mine's a good one. When I saw she can curse more than I can, I knew I am in good hands

@ camino - I've done a lot of DIY wrk myself, but (in my case) I needed a non-emotionally-involved perspective. As I wrote above, it's like using a lever to lift a large object.

Edited October 8, 2007 by ZL-1

[Z-06]

Those are my thoughts exactly. Therapists are good at giving you hints and the occasional nudge so that you think about the information they send your way and you decide what to do: they're like a lever you use to make it easier to lift a large object. The process is actually very interesting if you look at it from the self-improvement perspective!

I agree, it should be always looked in self-improvement perspective, otherwise, you depend on others to help yourself help you.

Do you think it is the consultants in us thinking this way?

[Oracle of Delphi]

There is nothing to be ashamed about in seeking any kind of help for physical or psychological conditions.

Sure there isn't! I have to wonder about a man who can't solve his own everyday problems without having to talk to some shrink.

[trinacriabob]

Those are my thoughts exactly. Therapists are good at giving you hints and the occasional nudge so that you think about the information they send your way and you decide what to do: they're like a lever you use to make it easier to lift a large object. The process is actually very interesting if you look at it from the self-improvement perspective!

The concept of a "model" per smallchevy is pretty good and pretty accurate, after all, they study patterns in their training and see patterns in practice. That's why, when you listen to a talk show, the invited psychologist or psychotherapists explains things in broader generalities based on what they have studied and encountered. Plus, you (the patient or client) is who needs to put things into practice.

[trinacriabob]

Sure there isn't! I have to wonder about a man who can't solve his own everyday problems without having to talk to some shrink.

$h!, you're STILL here...I thought that you weren't going to post anymore now that you have this highbrow Swiss job.

Heads of companies have gone to therapy for marital issues, substance abuse and the like. You ought to go to one to trim your inflated ego a bit.

Edited October 8, 2007 by trinacriabob

[Drew Dowdell]

Everyday problems aren't what one goes to a shrink for.

[Oracle of Delphi]

$h!, you're STILL here...I thought that you weren't going to post anymore now that you have this highbrow Swiss job.

Heads of companies have gone to therapy for marital issues, substance abuse and the like. You ought to go to one to trim your inflated ego a bit.

You're confusing having an ego with just being a man! :AH-HA_wink: I said I wouldn't post as much, and some here have said to me that they miss talking to me since I moved and not on MSN Messenger that much. Highbrow job? I still have to put my $500 pants on, one leg at a time just like you!

[trinacriabob]

Highbrow job? I still have to put my $500 pants on, one leg at a time just like you!

Don't let that gate hit you on the ass on the way out, ok!

[ZL-1]

I agree, it should be always looked in self-improvement perspective, otherwise, you depend on others to help yourself help you.

Exactly!

Do you think it is the consultants in us thinking this way?

Definitely!

@ Bob - they do model according to their experience, and it's up to each person to take advantage (or not) of the information they provide you with. That's why I don't like 'shrinks' (as our wondering-holden-loving friend puts it), that tend to medicate you into a behaviour: it's the complete opposite of this kind of process.

Edited October 8, 2007 by ZL-1

[Oracle of Delphi]

(And don't listen to PCS, Germans are only good at engineering and other RIGID things, thus lacking completely in people skills. )

I've found that when things are RIGID, you don't need people skills! :AH-HA_wink:

[Z-06]

I've found that when things are RIGID, you don't need people skills! :AH-HA_wink:

Depends on how you are going to remove the rigidity. If Suzy or Steffie Palmer do the job then that is right, but if you are looking for more warmth and coziness, better have people's skills to make things work out.

[Oracle of Delphi]

Depends on how you are going to remove the rigidity. If Suzy or Steffie Palmer do the job then that is right, but if you are looking for more warmth and coziness, better have people's skills to make things work out.

Well I found my body models vehicle names and vehicle commercials, so after I show the garage owner my Dodge Magnum and they see what Pontiac describes as "Wider is Better", people skills become a moot point.

[Drew Dowdell]

Well I found my body models vehicle names and vehicle commercials, so after I show the garage owner my Dodge Magnum and they see what Pontiac describes as "Wider is Better", people skills become a moot point.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[K.C.]

Gosh, I wonder which poster in here needs therapy the most? Hmmmm.

[Oracle of Delphi]

Gosh, I wonder which poster in here needs therapy the most? Hmmmm.

Perhaps the ones with a fetish for men in hats? Hmmmm. :AH-HA_wink:

[K.C.]

Or the one for grannies in sequins? :AH-HA_wink:

[Camino LS6]

Wow, this topic devolved, didn't it?

[trinacriabob]

Wow, this topic devolved, didn't it?

This time, for a change of pace, the expatriate was the culprit.

[Oracle of Delphi]

This time, for a change of pace, the expatriate was the culprit.

You can't mean me? I'm sweet and kind to all God's creatures. How can I be an expatriate when I was born in Europe, and now I'm in Europe?

P.S No one likes a tattle tale! :AH-HA_wink:

[Z-06]

We are talking about therapy here, sure it will digress from the main topic. The therapist wants to know about your innerself to cure you.

[Robert Hall]

I started going to therapy back in the mid '90s when I was sinking into depression and madness from a failed engagement, PhD hell, near-alcoholism, etc...

Therapy + Prozac + getting out of the infinite gray dispair of Michigan to sunny, happy Colorado changed my life for the better.

[Drew Dowdell]

I medicate myself with gin. screw prozac

[trinacriabob]

+ getting out of the infinite gray dispair of Michigan to sunny, happy Colorado changed my life for the better.

Thanks for your honesty as you are one of the more accomplished people here.

Amen to the gray despair part. Then, please put Portland and Seattle on your "do not move to" list. The gray is starting to get to me and did a number on me when I lived here previously as well.

[Oracle of Delphi]

Thanks for your honesty as you are one of the more accomplished people here.

Oh please show us who's on your list of the more accomplished people here! :rotflmao:

I think I know how it goes, Well first there is you, and then moltar, then there is you, and you, and you and then you again!

Edited October 9, 2007 by Pontiac Custom-S

[ZL-1]

This thread sure has developed...

It's been nice to post here these last few years, but time has come to say goodbye to you all. I'll keep reading, and to those of you that have my contacts feel free to get in touch everytime you want to.

EDIT - for all the others that do not have my contacts, I haven't disabled PMs so feel free to write.

& Gears to all!

Edited October 9, 2007 by ZL-1