The head of the line

[K.C.]

This morning my father passed away rather suddenly. He was 64. Last Friday he had a massive heart attack. His heart stopped beating for 21 minutes before the paramedics revived him. Unfortunately, his brain activity was minimal. We pulled the ventilator on Sunday, and he died early this morning.

As tragic as this is, its a realization that I should have told him I loved him more. I never got to thank him for instilling in me my love for cars, the outdoors, and life. I also realize that I am now the eldest in the family and the next to go. I realize that grandfatherhood is coming sooner than I would like. I have always felt young, but I realize that its only a feeing and that age is catching up with me.

For those of you with your folks still going, be good to them even though they get on your nerves.

I'll miss you pop. Rest well.

Edit: spelling

Edited August 22, 2007 by K.C.

[Flybrian]

Very sorry to hear, my friend. Being so close to my dad, I hate to even imagine. But you're very right in your words and to the moments you've shared.

[the_yellow_dart]

Try not to be too hard on yourself. The best thing you can do is to take it as a lesson but try not to dwell on "what could have been".

[GMTruckGuy74]

My deepest sympathies on the loss of you father. You and yours will be in my prayers duringt these trying times.

[Camino LS6]

I'm sorry to hear this, and... I understand.

[K.C.]

Thanks guy. I appreciate the comments.

Thankfully C&G has been here all day and I've been posting on it all day to keep my brain going in a somewhat constructive manner.

[Camino LS6]

Thanks guy. I appreciate the comments.

Thankfully C&G has been here all day and I've been posting on it all day to keep my brain going in a somewhat constructive manner.

Just don't forget to let your brain rest awhile too, and give your heart its due.

All the best to you and yours.

[DetroitNut90]

I'm so sorry to hear that, K.C. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[daves87rs]

I'm so sorry...

My prayers to out to you and your family....

[Cory Wolfe]

I'm sorry to hear that. You have my condolences.

[Robert Hall]

I'm sorry to hear this, and you have my deepest condolences. I lost my dad at age 79 to cancer in 1999. It was hard on me as I felt I had not spent enough time with him the last 10 years of his life, esp. the last 5 when I had moved 1300+ miles away.

[Bimmer325]

My prayers are with you and the rest of your family.

[ocnblu]

I'm sorry, K.C.

[Z-06]

K.C., it is time for you to stay strong and as Camino said rest your brain and give your heart its due.

I hope you feel better and cheer up.

[usonia]

As tragic as this is, its a realization that I should have told him I loved him more. I never got to thank him for instilling in me my love for cars, the outdoors, and life. I also realize that I am now the eldest in the family and the next to go. I realize that grandfatherhood is coming sooner than I would like. I have always felt young, but I realize that its only a feeing and that age is catching up with me.

For what it's worth, while it can be good to tell someone that you love them, in the end they're just words and words are easy. Your actions towards another person are the most meaningful expression. Based on the little bit you wrote and the fact that it concerns you enough to mention it, it sounds like you were a man he would have been proud to have as a son. I'd bet he knew how much he meant to you even if you think you didn't verbalize it enough.

[K.C.]

Usonia, you are absolutely correct. I grew up in a house where it was more important to show emotions than simply tell them. I mentioned my thoughts about that to my son and he said thats not the way this family works, its all about showing, and that is more important. For a young man in his 20's, he's pretty with it.

Thanks everyone again. I appreciate it.

[Oracle of Delphi]

For what it's worth, while it can be good to tell someone that you love them, in the end they're just words and words are easy. Your actions towards another person are the most meaningful expression. Based on the little bit you wrote and the fact that it concerns you enough to mention it, it sounds like you were a man he would have been proud to have as a son. I'd bet he knew how much he meant to you even if you think you didn't verbalize it enough.

I agree, my father a few weeks ago had a massive stroke, the 1st week it was touch and go at the hospital. Most stroke victims die within the 1st 7 days. I am luckier than you as my father is still alive and although paralyzed and unable to speak, he can understand everything I say to him. So I have told him more times now than ever before in my life how much I love him. I had to fly to Texas where my parents live to since I have power of attorney, my father's thinking is I understand medical terms and procedures much better than my mother does. In his safe deposit box besides the power of attorney was his last will and testament, on it I caught a glimsp of it that read "My beloved son Börger shall be executor of this last will and testament" etc. So your parents know how you feel without ever telling them, after all they know their kids.

My heart goes out to you that you didn't have chance to tell him how you felt, but trust me he knew, he's always known.

I have moved my father to Delaware with me because Delaware has one of the best stroke rehabs on the east coast so he is there for short term therapy of 2 - 3 months, hopefully after, he will be able to return home. I will say this, I've seen some sights in that hospital with all types of people, which has humbled me in more ways than I can count. I've seen just how fast a person's life can change for the worst and how little things that other people do to help, can make a world of difference in their recovery. I've also learned to treat others as if it would be the last time you ever see them, because you never know, that just might be the case.

Keep your chin up K.C. and go one with your life, it will get easier as time goes on. After all isn't that what your father would really want you to do?

Peace K.C., I wish you well.

Edited August 22, 2007 by Pontiac Custom-S

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

I am very sorry for what I read... I offer my condolences. This is a very tough time for you, but just know this one thing, you still carry your father in your heart. He is still looking down on his family. The peace you wish to gain will come with time. The grief you experience will be here and now. Do what you need to do to deal with your loss.

Again.. I am very sorry...

[76ChevyTrucker]

KC, my family and I's thoughts are with you. I've yet to lose one of my parents, but from losing grandparents, I know what you're going through. Like everyone else said, even though you didn't say it, he knew, believe me he knew. Things will get better, it'll takea lot of time, but they will get better.