Life update

[Delta Force79]

I'm going on three weeks since my fiancee of sorts left me for an online romance....I haven't even recieved one call to see how I was doing, if I was going to be ok, if we could talk about it and us and what brought this sudden split up. It just goes to show you when people are greedy and only care about themselves they go from one sugar daddy to the next until they're old and wrinkled and then either have to deal with being alone or settle down with someone who might not even be in the same league as some of the people they may have burned over the years. For the last two and a half weeks I've gone from thoughts of suicide, to f@#k you and everyone else mode, to straight out "ok gotta try to pick up the pieces and move on" mode....to where I am now, which is just miserable and lonely. When you have your heart ripped from your chest in such a way as these situatuions often do, in my life I find it very hard to function on any kind of social level, I become a recluse and rarely speak....I haven't been out of my house more than 4 times in nearly 3 weeks. It is a horrible feeling to feel empty inside/dead inside....I'm just trying to figure out a way to move on.

[deftonesfan867]

All the crap makes you just want to say "f@#k love", seriously.

[trinacriabob]

Just reading this thread thoroughly.

You need to analyze things and make smaller changes. I just got back from Sicily this morning and up to Florence. I was born in the US and we went back to Sicily when I was 4 and came back when I was 8, so I went to K through 3 overseas, in Italian and was actually "socialized" over there.

You know what? I am no longer of that place. This trip confirmed it, though I had fun (insanely hot weather) though I will always continue to travel to Western Europe, though.

If you can afford (time wise, resume gap wise, etc.) the jaunt over the pond to Cologne and know you will come back, then do it. If you think it will make you happier, remember the title of the book "Wherever you go, there you are"

And, I wanted to refrain from commenting on Chas, but others have, so I will join in. He appears to be superficial, fueled by external things rather than internal things. (He can probably enter a contest with Imelda Marcos as to who has more shoes - ). That's not mentally healthy. Maybe you are the healthier one and better off without him. I can't stand superficial people.

Edited June 26, 2007 by trinacriabob

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

Just reading this thread thoroughly.

You need to analyze things and make smaller changes. I just got back from Sicily this morning and up to Florence. I was born in the US and we went back to Sicily when I was 4 and came back when I was 8, so I went to K through 3 overseas, in Italian and was actually "socialized" over there.

You know what? I am no longer of that place. This trip confirmed it, though I had fun (insanely hot weather) though I will always continue to travel to Western Europe, though.

If you can afford (time wise, resume gap wise, etc.) the jaunt over the pond to Cologne and know you will come back, then do it. If you think it will make you happier, remember the title of the book "Wherever you go, there you are"

And, I wanted to refrain from commenting on Chas, but others have, so I will join in. He appears to be superficial, fueled by external things rather than internal things. (He can probably enter a contest with Imelda Marcos as to who has more shoes - ). That's not mentally healthy. Maybe you are the healthier one and better off without him. I can't stand superficial people.

Sadly... there are a lot of superficial people in the gay community. This is one of the biggest problems along with trying to create some standard that does not exist and trying to make others measure up to it when it is clear they do not themselves. It is what is inside and the heart of a man. The outside fades with time.

[CARBIZ]

I missed all of this. Just read it now. Totally sucks. Don't waste your energy thinking about them. I know, easier said than done. When my partner of 9 1/2 years left me 6 years ago for a younger guy (kid, really), I had all sorts of evil thoughts. It took me 18 months to get over it. I jokingly refer to the year 2001 as the Year That Never Was. I was consumed with fantasies of what I would do when my ex came crawling back to me, as I was sure he would.

However, by the time he did come crawling back to me, I only felt sadness and sorry for him. Around the same time, I had met someone else (my current partner) and wanted to explore that avenue. Perhaps the good karma of how I handled my ex's moving back to Canada from Salt Lake City (very long story) dropped my Brazilian partner in my lap.

And after all the fantasies, and all the revenge dreams, the day my ex asked to see me and we walked the dog in a city park and he cried about how much of a mistake he had made, I only felt like $h! because I didn't want to hurt HIM. Wierd, eh? He is still single, lonely and drifting. He calls me up at least once a week. He is a lost soul, and I feel bad for him, but he left ME and he would not listen to me when I told him that he and the other guy were not made for each other.

Having gone through a train wreck of a "divorce" once before, the thought that THIS TOO SHALL PASS got me through the first lonely nights. And my current partner is a much better person. I am just glad that the only entanglements we had was the dog and cat, both of which he had to leave with me because he was transient for the first few months.

[Drew Dowdell]

I missed all of this. Just read it now. Totally sucks. Don't waste your energy thinking about them. I know, easier said than done. When my partner of 9 1/2 years left me 6 years ago for a younger guy (kid, really), I had all sorts of evil thoughts. It took me 18 months to get over it. I jokingly refer to the year 2001 as the Year That Never Was. I was consumed with fantasies of what I would do when my ex came crawling back to me, as I was sure he would.

However, by the time he did come crawling back to me, I only felt sadness and sorry for him. Around the same time, I had met someone else (my current partner) and wanted to explore that avenue. Perhaps the good karma of how I handled my ex's moving back to Canada from Salt Lake City (very long story) dropped my Brazilian partner in my lap.

And after all the fantasies, and all the revenge dreams, the day my ex asked to see me and we walked the dog in a city park and he cried about how much of a mistake he had made, I only felt like $h! because I didn't want to hurt HIM. Wierd, eh? He is still single, lonely and drifting. He calls me up at least once a week. He is a lost soul, and I feel bad for him, but he left ME and he would not listen to me when I told him that he and the other guy were not made for each other.

Having gone through a train wreck of a "divorce" once before, the thought that THIS TOO SHALL PASS got me through the first lonely nights. And my current partner is a much better person. I am just glad that the only entanglements we had was the dog and cat, both of which he had to leave with me because he was transient for the first few months.

That is inspiring. Thank you for that.

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

I missed all of this. Just read it now. Totally sucks. Don't waste your energy thinking about them. I know, easier said than done. When my partner of 9 1/2 years left me 6 years ago for a younger guy (kid, really), I had all sorts of evil thoughts. It took me 18 months to get over it. I jokingly refer to the year 2001 as the Year That Never Was. I was consumed with fantasies of what I would do when my ex came crawling back to me, as I was sure he would.

However, by the time he did come crawling back to me, I only felt sadness and sorry for him. Around the same time, I had met someone else (my current partner) and wanted to explore that avenue. Perhaps the good karma of how I handled my ex's moving back to Canada from Salt Lake City (very long story) dropped my Brazilian partner in my lap.

And after all the fantasies, and all the revenge dreams, the day my ex asked to see me and we walked the dog in a city park and he cried about how much of a mistake he had made, I only felt like $h! because I didn't want to hurt HIM. Wierd, eh? He is still single, lonely and drifting. He calls me up at least once a week. He is a lost soul, and I feel bad for him, but he left ME and he would not listen to me when I told him that he and the other guy were not made for each other.

Having gone through a train wreck of a "divorce" once before, the thought that THIS TOO SHALL PASS got me through the first lonely nights. And my current partner is a much better person. I am just glad that the only entanglements we had was the dog and cat, both of which he had to leave with me because he was transient for the first few months.

Powerful story... It is true then... they always come back. Someone told me that too about someone from my past (2003) and I did not believe it. They still have not come back, but reading what you said made me understand what they meant. I was given the same scenario that happened to you too. I was the one who got left and hurt like you just like you. You have inspired me. You have helped me.

Edited June 26, 2007 by NINETY EIGHT REGENCY