Life update

[Drew Dowdell]

So here's the deal.

In November 2006 my partner started having an affair with a 68 year old rich guy. Those of you who know me well enough know that I'm not exactly hurting for money. After a few months of painfully trying to reconcile Chas and I finally split in the middle of February 2007. This, in effect, devastated me. I can't even look at an ad for a retirement home without wanting to vomit.

Not only did I lose Chas, but I lost the family that came with him. I was very close to his parents.... his dad especially. I have no family here in Pittsburgh.

I also lost a number of friends in the "divorce" leaving me feeling even more isolated.

In the meantime, Chas "Nicole Smith" and his sugar daddy are regularly seen out together at various gay gathering places. I can't seem to go to any of the gay bars without someone who vaguely knows both of us coming up to me and saying "Oh Chas and his BF were just here" or "You should have seen the two of them together, it was just gross". So I've stopped going to such places completely.

I've stopped dating. I don't see the point.

I have been traveling a bit recently both for work and pleasure. I try to get out of the city almost every weekend. I've found that I am happiest when I'm not here.... so I began looking for places to move to.

The answer came in a friend I made in the springtime. A German graduate exchange student and I became good friends. He and his partner are getting married in August. I will be attending their wedding in Cologne, Germany. This is my first step in moving to Germany. They have invited and encouraged me to move to Cologne with them and start a new life there. They think they can get me an I.T. job at the Bank of Cologne if I decide I need one.

I've analyzed my finances and I found out that if I just didn't have the cars, I could quit my job and live just off the rental income from my portfolio of apartment buildings.

My intention is to sell both of the cars and use a combination of public transit and my Flexcar account. This alone will save me $12,000 a year. If I run into a very very nice 79-85 Toronado, I'll buy it, put a trailer hitch on it for maintaining my buildings, and put it into storage once I move to Germany.

My company pays a very generous bonus on Feb 15th of every year. I want to wait for that bonus and in the meantime tie up as many loose ends I have here in Pittsburgh. I won't be selling any of my property. The house I live in will be rented out for additional income.

I've always wanted to live in Europe. I see this whole situation as an opportunity, a motive, and a solution. Germany isn't a permanent move. At this point I am thinking I'll be there about two years and then come back to Pittsburgh. But I need time to get away, heal, reflect, and explore.

So there you have it..... how Oldsmoboi crashed and how he's going to be put back together again.

[Flybrian]

Unlike the real Oldsmobile, you'll be back, my friend.

A pox on Chas; no, rather, a Corolla with undersized wheelcovers that don't quite bolt on correctly. Sometimes you do just need to get away from it all, enjoy life, yourself, and everything else. You're very fortunate in that a job opportunity is your catalyst for this, so at least finances are secure.

I'll keep my eyes open for a Toro down here that fits your bill. Perhaps you can also celebrate your grand return to the states with a gently-used '96 Cutty convertible?

You'd better have internet in Europe. Fo' realz.

[daves87rs]

Cool! I've always wanted to live in Europe.....

I think you will really enjoy it-it's not quite as crazy or stupid as it can be around here.

I send you my best wishes- have fun- and take good care of yourself.

And don't forget to keep posting here....

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

Best of luck man!

I'm actually jealous of you, I'd love to be secure enough to just pick up and move half a world away.

You can review the... umm... future Saturns for us.

[Drew Dowdell]

Thanks guys.

This is what I alluded to in one of my "for sale" threads where I stated that this was part of my master plan to be a 2009 CTS-D driver.

[DetroitNut90]

That sounds amazing. Not only can you have your CTS-D...you can drive it on the Autobahn.

Best of luck with everything!

[Oracle of Delphi]

I am up for a new job at Opel, if I get it; I too will be moving to Deutschland. I already speak the language and have German citizenship, oops I mean EU citizenship, that's what my passport says now EU. If I get the job I will be based in Rüsselsheim, but I won't know for a couple of months if I got the job.

[Farkas]

I encourage you to go to Germany with your friends :]

It'll be an awesome experience, and you most certainly need the change of scenery.

Most of all, have fun :]

I advise you to stay away from the Wartburg's, Yugo's, and Lada's (this is, if they haven't rusted away) at all costs. Soviets never could create a decent car...

Edited June 19, 2007 by Farkas

[Cory Wolfe]

Drew, we'll have to hang out sometime before you leave.

Anyways, good luck and I'm glad to hear you're trying to turn things around and whatnot.

[knightfan26917]

I try to get out of the city almost every weekend. I've found that I am happiest when I'm not here....

Well, if you ever come back to Chicago over a weekend, let me know ahead of time ... and we'll definitely get together. I don't know about you, but I really enjoyed meeting you when I was in PA last August. It was very cool to meet up with you and then drive around to the cruise nights.

If I read your schedule correctly, you'll be out of PA this coming August....

Good luck ... and don't be a stranger .

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Lately I've been thinking I should move away" ... Eddy Money ... 'I'll Get By'

[Drew Dowdell]

Well, if you ever come back to Chicago over a weekend, let me know ahead of time ... and we'll definitely get together. I don't know about you, but I really enjoyed meeting you when I was in PA last August. It was very cool to meet up with you and then drive around to the cruise nights.

If I read your schedule correctly, you'll be out of PA this coming August....

Good luck ... and don't be a stranger .

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Lately I've been thinking I should move away" ... Eddy Money ... 'I'll Get By'

I will be in Cologne Germany from August 22 - September 5th.

[Delta Force79]

So here's the deal.

In November 2006 my partner started having an affair with a 68 year old rich guy. Those of you who know me well enough know that I'm not exactly hurting for money. After a few months of painfully trying to reconcile Chas and I finally split in the middle of February 2007. This, in effect, devastated me. I can't even look at an ad for a retirement home without wanting to vomit.

Not only did I lose Chas, but I lost the family that came with him. I was very close to his parents.... his dad especially. I have no family here in Pittsburgh.

I also lost a number of friends in the "divorce" leaving me feeling even more isolated.

In the meantime, Chas "Nicole Smith" and his sugar daddy are regularly seen out together at various gay gathering places. I can't seem to go to any of the gay bars without someone who vaguely knows both of us coming up to me and saying "Oh Chas and his BF were just here" or "You should have seen the two of them together, it was just gross". So I've stopped going to such places completely.

I've stopped dating. I don't see the point.

I have been traveling a bit recently both for work and pleasure. I try to get out of the city almost every weekend. I've found that I am happiest when I'm not here.... so I began looking for places to move to.

The answer came in a friend I made in the springtime. A German graduate exchange student and I became good friends. He and his partner are getting married in August. I will be attending their wedding in Cologne, Germany. This is my first step in moving to Germany. They have invited and encouraged me to move to Cologne with them and start a new life there. They think they can get me an I.T. job at the Bank of Cologne if I decide I need one.

I've analyzed my finances and I found out that if I just didn't have the cars, I could quit my job and live just off the rental income from my portfolio of apartment buildings.

My intention is to sell both of the cars and use a combination of public transit and my Flexcar account. This alone will save me $12,000 a year. If I run into a very very nice 79-85 Toronado, I'll buy it, put a trailer hitch on it for maintaining my buildings, and put it into storage once I move to Germany.

My company pays a very generous bonus on Feb 15th of every year. I want to wait for that bonus and in the meantime tie up as many loose ends I have here in Pittsburgh. I won't be selling any of my property. The house I live in will be rented out for additional income.

I've always wanted to live in Europe. I see this whole situation as an opportunity, a motive, and a solution. Germany isn't a permanent move. At this point I am thinking I'll be there about two years and then come back to Pittsburgh. But I need time to get away, heal, reflect, and explore.

So there you have it..... how Oldsmoboi crashed and how he's going to be put back together again.

Sorry to hear about the loss of the one you loved to another man, this just happened to me last week. My girlfriend of nearly three years, began an online romance behind my back with a guy and they began texting each other daily and talking over the phone. This was going on behind my back for quite some time, and then on June 7th I get a call from her saying "pick me up, I just got off work...we'll get something to eat and maybe rent a video" so I went to pick her up, and had to stop off at a supermarket (she stayed in my car) I came out of the store to find her on the phone with her new "friend" and when she got off the phone with him, she told me to take her home "he's going to call me back and I don't want you in the car when he does, we have a lot in common and I'm leaving you" All the while she's telling me this with a smile on her face. Crushed, and feeling as though my heart had just been ripped from my chest, I asked her why she was doing this to me, her response "because I can" that was the end, I took her back to her car, she got out, no goodbye, nothing...she got in her car and drove out of my life. I was planning on getting engaged to her by the end of the year, and was making plans to pick out a ring. Now I'm alone, and don't quite know what to do with myself...I'd like to get away for a while too, and I also really want to get my restoration under way for my Delta 88 to ease my mind. I wish you luck, and hope you can still post here from Germany.

[VenSeattle]

It's good to hear that "You Believe in Life After Love" after all...

[ocnblu]

Drew... all the best to you, sir. It's funny (and hopeful) how people seek change after a life-changing event. While some of us may think your plans are a bit drastic, we are not inside your heart. You're doing this "because you can" (with respect to Delta Force), and I'm sure it will be a valuable experience. Bon Voyage, bud.

[ZL-1]

Different reasons, but radical change in the works for me as well. I just cannot come to terms with this trapped-in-a-cage feeling. I am actually looking forward to taking big chances.

EDIT - It goes without saying (writing in this case), but I think I should write it anyway: best of luck!

Edited June 19, 2007 by ZL-1

[Camino LS6]

Your plan sounds great to me!

Sometimes it takes a heavy stress to make you realize all the things you can do if you choose too.

I wish you the best, and hope that you can make it to an event or two where some of us from C&G gather before you go.

I suggest Carlisle. :AH-HA_wink:

[Oracle of Delphi]

Sorry to hear about the loss of the one you loved to another man, this just happened to me last week. My girlfriend of nearly three years, began an online romance behind my back with a guy and they began texting each other daily and talking over the phone. This was going on behind my back for quite some time, and then on June 7th I get a call from her saying "pick me up, I just got off work...we'll get something to eat and maybe rent a video" so I went to pick her up, and had to stop off at a supermarket (she stayed in my car) I came out of the store to find her on the phone with her new "friend" and when she got off the phone with him, she told me to take her home "he's going to call me back and I don't want you in the car when he does, we have a lot in common and I'm leaving you" All the while she's telling me this with a smile on her face. Crushed, and feeling as though my heart had just been ripped from my chest, I asked her why she was doing this to me, her response "because I can" that was the end, I took her back to her car, she got out, no goodbye, nothing...she got in her car and drove out of my life. I was planning on getting engaged to her by the end of the year, and was making plans to pick out a ring. Now I'm alone, and don't quite know what to do with myself...I'd like to get away for a while too, and I also really want to get my restoration under way for my Delta 88 to ease my mind. I wish you luck, and hope you can still post here from Germany.

Better that you found out now then after you had married her and had kids with her. She actually did you a BIG favor.

[Drew Dowdell]

It's good to hear that "You Believe in Life After Love" after all...

yikes..... I often express myself through the lyrics of the music I listen to. When I first heard Enrique Iglasias's "Do you know...."<Ping Pong song> I completely lost it.

For those of you who don't know the song, the main lyric goes "Do you know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?"

yeah... I've pretty much stuck to instrumental since.......

[Guest YellowJacket894]

Best of luck! Check in from time to time to let us know how Germany is going.

Not only can you have your CTS-D...you can drive it on the Autobahn.

Lucky.

[Drew Dowdell]

I'll still be on here all the time.

[A Horse With No Name]

Good Luck!

Chris

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

I read all of this with great interest.. It is sad, but you pick yourself and get back up. I know how it is in the "community". That is the one thing I hate is how they keep hurting each other over and over again. Your former boyfriend.. he will get his without you having to do anything. You stay true to your values and who you are. I have been hurt too in the past. I will not get into that, but I have been through things worse than that.

As for the others, they have been hurt too. I understand that. That you sow you shall also reap. Someone is going to do it to them. They will feel pain. By that point and time you will have moved on....

You do what you need to do to break free.

[knightfan26917]

I will be in Cologne Germany from August 22 - September 5th.

*raises eyebrow*

Oooo ... I'll have to double check, but I'm 99.9% positive that the family reunion this year is the weekend of Aug 11-12 ... which is WELL before you leave for Germany .

Sssooo...if you want, let's try to plan something. Interested in doing the cruise night thing again?

Course, this year, a slight possibility exists that I will not be going to the reunion, but we will see.....

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"It hurts to feel like such a fool" ... Dan Seals ... 'Addicted'

[Sixty8panther]

2007 seems to be the year of break-ups & effed up relationships.

I bet I could get into a pretty big pissing contest with you over

who's life is more messed up right now. I'm sorry to hear this.

Best of luck. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?

[Drew Dowdell]

*raises eyebrow*

Oooo ... I'll have to double check, but I'm 99.9% positive that the family reunion this year is the weekend of Aug 11-12 ... which is WELL before you leave for Germany .

Sssooo...if you want, let's try to plan something. Interested in doing the cruise night thing again?

Course, this year, a slight possibility exists that I will not be going to the reunion, but we will see.....

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"It hurts to feel like such a fool" ... Dan Seals ... 'Addicted'

I'll be around.

Anyone who is traveling that wants to stop by is welcome to look me up.

[Camino LS6]

I had a great time a few years ago at the Vintage race in the park in Pittsburgh, maybe I can go again.

[Oracle of Delphi]

I have a question. Is it more difficult because they left you or would it have been easier had you left them. For those of you that had someone leave you, did you never see that side of them before? I am assuming some of you have been together for years, so that side of their personality had to surface at some point. I also think that having a legal marriage binds people tighter to each other if for no other reason it's harder to get divorced than just say OK, I'm done with you, as you can when you're not married and move on to someone else. Being married forces in my opinion, people to work harder at finding solutions to their problems and working towards compromise.

Yes I realize people still get divorced, if someone wants to go badly enough they will, but marriage makes you think about it before you just go and do it. I realize that those of you who are gay can't get married in many of the states, which is why I'm for gay marriage. It's a binding contract between two people which is always better than a verbal contract (ok lets live together and play house), where anyone at anytime can change their mind and say prove that I wanted to be with you forever, and prove that I said that and that, that was my intent.

I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

Edited June 20, 2007 by Pontiac Custom-S

[Drew Dowdell]

Had Chas broken up with me in an honorable way I wouldn't hate him the way I do now. Chas had an affair with a 68 year old retiree and then got mad at me for being upset and depressed about it. He doesn't even acknowledge that he did anything wrong.

I am still friends with all of my other past relationships because they ended on good terms. I am only on the most limited of speaking terms <e-mail only> with Chas only because some of our finances are still tied up together.

[Drew Dowdell]

I had a great time a few years ago at the Vintage race in the park in Pittsburgh, maybe I can go again.

I've wanted to go to that every year and I've NEVER made it! I think it's usually over labor day weekend.... and as such, I'll be in Germany! :doh:

[Camino LS6]

I've wanted to go to that every year and I've NEVER made it! I think it's usually over labor day weekend.... and as such, I'll be in Germany! :doh:

Too bad, it's a great event and the car show is absolutely HUGE!

The last turn before the start/finish line is the best spot to watch.

I'll find out the date and post it.

[knightfan26917]

I'll be around.

Simply AWESOME!

Well, now I really hope I'm able to get to PA ... not necessarily for the family reunion ... but to see you and everyone else again. I'm hoping you'll be interested in meeting up with the others again.

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Wondering...why I even care" ... Nitty Gritty Dirt Band ... 'Modern Day Romance'

[Camino LS6]

The Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix is in July!

I may try to make it as this is such a great event.

Link:

http://www.pvgp.org/pvgp/site/default.asp

[Paolino]

That sounds amazing. Not only can you have your CTS-D...you can drive it on the Autobahn.

Best of luck with everything!

Be careful. I believe they put a speed-limit of 90 on the autobahn :AH-HA_wink:

If you come back for NYIAS, if I have enough notice, I'll take off of work. Although they LOVE to remind you they hate new teachers taking off of work... even if you have bronchitis.

[Paolino]

Oh, and on the Chas thing...

I can relate in a way. When I lost John, I lost all of my friends, his family, and worst of all, the security of leaving my house without running into someone saying, "What happened between you and John? He's SUCH a nice guy... what did you do to him?!"

Cause you know, it was all MY fault.

Anyway, I even became agoraphobic to a degree. I wouldn't leave the house unless it was after midnight, because I knew chances are, I wouldn't run into someone. Since everywhere was closed, I would just drive around.

Start a new life. I did. And I've been very happy since.

[Drew Dowdell]

ugh... he was just here. We had a huge fight. I want to leave this place so bad.

asshole even had the balls to drive over in the new 5-series that Daddy Warbucks is letting him use because he got fired from the salon.

Edited June 24, 2007 by Oldsmoboi

[Oracle of Delphi]

Make love, not war!

[Camino LS6]

ugh... he was just here. We had a huge fight. I want to leave this place so bad.

asshole even had the balls to drive over in the new 5-series that Daddy Warbucks is letting him use because he got fired from the salon.

Don't worry about him, he has sold himself cheaply. That's his loss not yours.

[ocnblu]

Now you know, and it is good you're washing your hands of him. Is moving out of the country though... a sign that he's won, that he's devastated you and made it impossible for you to go on with "reminders" all around? Don't let him see you suffer. Untangle yourself, divest yourself of all links, but your home is your castle. You'll find somebody better to bring in and obliterate Chas' memory.

Why should you take flight when you're not the one plucked out of the nest by the hawk?

[Drew Dowdell]

Now you know, and it is good you're washing your hands of him. Is moving out of the country though... a sign that he's won, that he's devastated you and made it impossible for you to go on with "reminders" all around? Don't let him see you suffer. Untangle yourself, divest yourself of all links, but your home is your castle. You'll find somebody better to bring in and obliterate Chas' memory.

Why should you take flight when you're not the one plucked out of the nest by the hawk?

Easier.... and I wanted to live for some time in Europe even before Chas....

I've met some good guys, but I've not been letting any of them in emotionally because I'm consciously breaking or limiting links here.

edit: the only reason I'd want to stay around is to watch the train wreck when the hawk drops him...... and do my little Kharma dance.

Edited June 24, 2007 by Oldsmoboi

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

You must remember something.. He lost his job and he drives over in a new BMW what is that supposed to mean?

This displays insecurity on his part and trying to make you feel bad. Please understand what he has done will come back to him. You have to be the better one and go on and live your life. You must be strong where you are weak. If you decide to move go. Please do not push others away because of him. What hr fails to realize is what he did, someone is going to do to him.

On a funny but truth side if it had been me and he drove over in a BMW, I would have said too bad it is not a Cadillac or GM car.

[ocnblu]

Rent a billboard along a busy Pittsburgh road and post something evil that you know he'll see.

[tmp]

If I live to be a hundred (oh wait, according to my profile I have..) I'll never understand guys like Chas, and I don't think I really want to either.

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

If I live to be a hundred (oh wait, according to my profile I have..) I'll never understand guys like Chas, and I don't think I really want to either.

The sad part is someone gets hurt by these types of people.

[deftonesfan867]

That really sucks Drew. I wish you the best of luck in all your future ventures in life, be it in moving or any relationships. People like Chas always get whats coming to them believe me.

[tmp]

The sad part is someone gets hurt by these types of people.

Yes, but when Grandpa trades him in on a younger model he'll wish he hadn't been such a grubby little 'ho. Or not. I've found with people like him that self-delusion is the only quality that is infinite in their make-up.

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

Yes, but when Grandpa trades him in on a younger model he'll wish he hadn't been such a grubby little 'ho. Or not. I've found with people like him that self-delusion is the only quality that is infinite in their make-up.

I did not want to say it, but I was thinking the same thing about him being dumped too.

[deftonesfan867]

Yes, but when Grandpa trades him in on a younger model he'll wish he hadn't been such a grubby little 'ho. Or not. I've found with people like him that self-delusion is the only quality that is infinite in their make-up.

Pretty much because they'll never want to admit they were wrong. Showing weakness and admitting they hurt you badly would make them feel bad and they can't deal with that because they ARE weak and cowardly.

[Drew Dowdell]

I did not want to say it, but I was thinking the same thing about him being dumped too.

I have talked with Daddy Warbucks once when I thought I was going to try and be on friendly terms with the both of them. Already 6 months into it he said "Chas definitely marches to the beat of his own drum".

What is cute at 6 months isn't so cute at 2 years. Chas won't change, he'll screw this one up too. Daddy Warbucks will get tired of Chas's shenanigans and drop him like yesterdays newspaper. I just hope that I'm around to watch it happen so I can point and laugh.

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

Chas thinks it is all about him. Guess what?? It is not. I know you are hurt right now, but I am starting to think you might be better off. In reference to your other statement, that man is not going to tolerate that forever.

[Drew Dowdell]

Chas thinks it is all about him. Guess what?? It is not. I know you are hurt right now, but I am starting to think you might be better off. In reference to your other statement, that man is not going to tolerate that forever.

Oh, I know I'm better off. It's taken me 5 months to realize it, but I did finally come to that conclusion.