Have you ever met someone you had an affair with years later?

[Oracle of Delphi]

Have you ever met someone you had an affair with years later? This happened to me today. I was not married at the time, in fact I was 19 years old, she was 32 and the wife of one of my father's friends. It went on until I was 21, then GM transfered me to Mexico for a few years, so it ended.

She and her husband came to the same Italian festival I went to today, in Wilmington. It was odd because I heard her call my name and I knew exactly who it was without looking. I found out they had moved from Texas to Cape May, NJ since her husband retired this year.

Anyway it brought back many memories, most are good. Most of the memories are vivid and it feels as if it were only yesterday. I think that scares me more than anything else.

[ZL-1]

Mine is a totally different story, but a woman I had a fling with for a couple of months a few years ago was my best friend at the time and remains my best friend to this day. It doesn't feel scary or uncomfortable in any way!

I'd say cherish those memories: they're what makes you who you are, and who your family and friends care for. That's what matters at the end of the day. :AH-HA_wink:

EDIT - I'm getting too mushy for my own good. I must find some crappy joke to post somewhere

Edited June 17, 2007 by ZL-1

[CARBIZ]

I had a crush on a chum in grade 10 that got pretty hot and sizzling. We spent a lot of time under the sheets, literally. But then he got cold feet and shunned me in the two classes that we shared. I ended up taking a bottle of prescription sleeping pills, barely survived, spent a few days in the hospital, then had to leave town due the scandal. At 15, I was pretty shook up. I heard from mutual friends that he emerged from the scandal unscathed, having brushed the entire thing off on the delusions of a silly fag.

I ran into him in the gay ghetto about two years ago - nearly 28 years later. He is a smoker, so he hasn't aged well; whereas, I look great at 46 :AH-HA_wink: Anyway, so much for NOT being gay! He barely recognized me, and unless he was hiding his feelings, he pretty much shrugged off having met me. Strangely, even 28 years later, I felt weird emotions well up inside me. I damned near killed myself over him, and in his history book I am not even a foot note. Hmmph.

[regfootball]

It was odd because I heard her call my name and I knew exactly who it was without looking.

i like that.

[the_yellow_dart]

Mine is a totally different story, but a woman I had a fling with for a couple of months a few years ago was my best friend at the time and remains my best friend to this day. It doesn't feel scary or uncomfortable in any way!

I'd say cherish those memories: they're what makes you who you are, and who your family and friends care for. That's what matters at the end of the day. :AH-HA_wink:

EDIT - I'm getting too mushy for my own good. I must find some crappy joke to post somewhere

I have a friend like this as well.

If only all women thought this way. :AH-HA_wink:

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

Thank you for sharing and being honest. I think there is someone in all our pasts that we would like to reunite with provided they both have matured and circumstances are right. didn't Sixty Eight Panther just do that?

I am sure it was awkward at first..

[NINETY EIGHT REGENCY]

I had a crush on a chum in grade 10 that got pretty hot and sizzling. We spent a lot of time under the sheets, literally. But then he got cold feet and shunned me in the two classes that we shared. I ended up taking a bottle of prescription sleeping pills, barely survived, spent a few days in the hospital, then had to leave town due the scandal. At 15, I was pretty shook up. I heard from mutual friends that he emerged from the scandal unscathed, having brushed the entire thing off on the delusions of a silly fag.

I ran into him in the gay ghetto about two years ago - nearly 28 years later. He is a smoker, so he hasn't aged well; whereas, I look great at 46 :AH-HA_wink: Anyway, so much for NOT being gay! He barely recognized me, and unless he was hiding his feelings, he pretty much shrugged off having met me. Strangely, even 28 years later, I felt weird emotions well up inside me. I damned near killed myself over him, and in his history book I am not even a foot note. Hmmph.

It seems you got the last laugh. Why do so many in the gay community do that? I guess it is like Oprah said when some hurt you or you are angry at them, they are not even thinking about you are what they did.

[CARBIZ]

Unfortunately, it is a common story in the gay community. I also had another incident a year or so later when I was working at a part time job in a department store and confided in a good (or so I thought!) female friend that I was gay. Although she was nice to my face, within 15 minutes of our break being over the entire staff at the store knew and the next day our entire school knew: it was 1978 so you draw your own picture. Anyway, a young guy the same age as us who worked in the stock room made up all sorts of stories about my having come onto him, which was total BS - I mean, he had pizza face and was homely as hell

About 5 years later, I bumped into him in a gay bar. I give him credit for approaching me and apologising profusely for the way he behaved. He explained that I had freaked him out, he had been attracted to me and he couldn't cope with his feelings, so he had trashed me to distance himself.

[Hollingsworth]

I can relate. Back in college, I had a sociology class with this weird granola-girl. We never even associated with each other until we had to collaborate on a project. Our relationship together during the course of that project could be described as tense, at best. Weeks later, around finals, my fraternity and my girlfriend's sorority had a mixer at a bar near campus (unbeknownst to me at the time, but this girl was also there with her friends). My girlfriend went over to the booths to talk to some of her sisters, and I stayed with my brothers at the bar. All of a sudden, granola girl and two of her friends come over (out of no where); one says to me "You need to stop coming on to her. She's not interested, and you're soooo not her type."

Because I'd had a few to drink, I remember some guys holding me back and me yelling "Yeah, like I'd give up my bangin', pearl wearin', Sigma Kappa girlfriend to tap THAT!...[more vulgarities here]...Why don't you go back to the pot smoking van and bring all of us whatever it is you've been smoking?!"

I saw her years later at a local benefit gala, and she asked "I bet you have no idea who I am, do you?" After a short conversation, she explained that she told her friends that I hit on her, because she was secretly attracted to me, and she know that her group of friends would shun her for "liking a preppy frat guy".

It amazed me how just a few years could transform this bohemian art major into a lady who attends uptight, black tie events.

Edited June 18, 2007 by Hollingsworth

[regfootball]

Unfortunately, it is a common story in the gay community. I also had another incident a year or so later when I was working at a part time job in a department store and confided in a good (or so I thought!) female friend that I was gay. Although she was nice to my face, within 15 minutes of our break being over the entire staff at the store knew and the next day our entire school knew: it was 1978 so you draw your own picture. Anyway, a young guy the same age as us who worked in the stock room made up all sorts of stories about my having come onto him, which was total BS - I mean, he had pizza face and was homely as hell

About 5 years later, I bumped into him in a gay bar. I give him credit for approaching me and apologising profusely for the way he behaved. He explained that I had freaked him out, he had been attracted to me and he couldn't cope with his feelings, so he had trashed me to distance himself.

dang.

[regfootball]

I can relate. Back in college, I had a sociology class with this weird granola-girl. We never even associated with each other until we had to collaborate on a project. Our relationship together during the course of that project could be described as tense, at best. Weeks later, around finals, my fraternity and my girlfriend's sorority had a mixer at a bar near campus (unbeknownst to me at the time, but this girl was also there with her friends). My girlfriend went over to the booths to talk to some of her sisters, and I stayed with my brothers at the bar. All of a sudden, granola girl and two of her friends come over (out of no where); one says to me "You need to stop coming on to her. She's not interested, and you're soooo not her type."

Because I'd had a few to drink, I remember some guys holding me back and me yelling "Yeah, like I'd give up my bangin', pearl wearin', Sigma Kappa girlfriend to tap THAT!...[more vulgarities here]...Why don't you go back to the pot smoking van and bring all of us whatever it is you've been smoking?!"

I saw her years later at a local benefit gala, and she asked "I bet you have no idea who I am, do you?" After a short conversation, she explained that she told her friends that I hit on her, because she was secretly attracted to me, and she know that her group of friends would shun her for "liking a preppy frat guy".

It amazed me how just a few years could transform this bohemian art major into a lady who attends uptight, black tie events.

double dang. that is a cool story. you need to tell us what happened later after the benefit gala.

let me twist the topic a bit for those who care to answer. do you think you have met someone in your life who might be your partner in the future, down the road, if your situation changes? Kind of a reverse of the original question....that is, you have this uncanny feeling you may be with a certain person someday, but not for a long time and no possible way you can be with them now?

kind of like that 'person in waiting'.

Edited June 19, 2007 by regfootball

[trinacriabob]

She and her husband came to the same Italian festival I went to today, in Wilmington. It was odd because I heard her call my name and I knew exactly who it was without looking. I found out they had moved from Texas to Cape May, NJ since her husband retired this year.

That's too weird.

Her: Tex-Ass to Cape May and

You: Tex-Ass to "cancello land" nearby ( :AH-HA_wink: )

A few preguntas:

How did she look then? How does she look NOW? And, does her husband know you were hosing his wife?

Edited June 19, 2007 by trinacriabob

[trinacriabob]

If only all women thought this way. :AH-HA_wink:

A lot do, at least later...there are quite a few "notch on my lipstick case" ones out there.

I've only known one that took it as problematic, having run into her later when she was married and had a little boy. We really didn't have much in common and she actually criticized my more intellectual pursuits (A student vs. C+ student at the same college) which angered me to no end. She was exactly 1 week older than me which defies the general astrological convention that we Sagittarians are among the most CASUAL when it comes to sex (a snippet of the profile - "the alley cat of the Zodiac" - I have latched onto - LOL).

[ZL-1]

If only all women thought this way.

I think there's a lot of women that think like that, actually!

[Satty]

Not really the same thing, but I found out yesterday that a girl I went out with a few years ago recently got out of jail after running her boyfriend over with her car.

[CARBIZ]

double dang. that is a cool story. you need to tell us what happened later after the benefit gala.

let me twist the topic a bit for those who care to answer. do you think you have met someone in your life who might be your partner in the future, down the road, if your situation changes? Kind of a reverse of the original question....that is, you have this uncanny feeling you may be with a certain person someday, but not for a long time and no possible way you can be with them now?

kind of like that 'person in waiting'.

Do you mean for real, or "I wish", like Colin Farrel for me

[trinacriabob]

Not really the same thing, but I found out yesterday that a girl I went out with a few years ago recently got out of jail after running her boyfriend over with her car.

Someone you really want to be hanging with to improve your standard of living...

[the_yellow_dart]

Not really the same thing, but I found out yesterday that a girl I went out with a few years ago recently got out of jail after running her boyfriend over with her car.

...and in a nice tribute to my hometown, I found out a few months ago that a girl I slept with in high school had died of a crack overdose and left her son an orphan. Yay to stupid people!

[Oracle of Delphi]

That's too weird.

Her: Tex-Ass to Cape May and

You: Tex-Ass to "cancello land" nearby ( :AH-HA_wink: )

A few preguntas:

How did she look then? How does she look NOW? And, does her husband know you were hosing his wife?

To answer your questions, her husband grew up in South Jersey and wanted to return. They live in Cape May, NJ, which is a 100 miles from me. Not an easy commute either, assuming I would want to make that commute.

How did she look you ask? God I couldn't get enough of her then, the smell of her hair, the shape of her body, the feel of her moistened lips against mine, the silky smoothness of her skin touching me, the things she did to me with her body and her mind! Every time her husband was out, I was in so to speak. You have to remember though I was 19 going on 20, she was 31 going on 32, I am now 38 so she is almost 50, and she looks great for a woman her age, looks much younger than she is in fact. Did her husband know? I believe she would have told him something, guilt might have forced her to say something, just what that something was I am not quite sure. I also suspected my father knew something was going on, since he would see my car (Custom-S) at their house, but he never once confronted me about it. If that Pontiac Custom-S could talk, oh the things it could say! :AH-HA_wink:

Edited June 19, 2007 by Pontiac Custom-S

[the_yellow_dart]

If that Pontiac Custom-S could talk, oh the things it could say!

Oil my springs more often if you're going to do that, bastard!! :AH-HA_wink:

[regfootball]

Not really the same thing, but I found out yesterday that a girl I went out with a few years ago recently got out of jail after running her boyfriend over with her car.

it's good it wasn't you! your timing with her was ok then.

[regfootball]

To answer your questions, her husband grew up in South Jersey and wanted to return. They live in Cape May, NJ, which is a 100 miles from me. Not an easy commute either, assuming I would want to make that commute.

How did she look you ask? God I couldn't get enough of her then, the smell of her hair, the shape of her body, the feel of her moistened lips against mine, the silky smoothness of her skin touching me, the things she did to me with her body and her mind! Every time her husband was out, I was in so to speak. You have to remember though I was 19 going on 20, she was 31 going on 32, I am now 38 so she is almost 50, and she looks great for a woman her age, looks much younger than she is in fact. Did her husband know? I believe she would have told him something, guilt might have forced her to say something, just what that something was I am not quite sure. I also suspected my father knew something was going on, since he would see my car (Custom-S) at their house, but he never once confronted me about it. If that Pontiac Custom-S could talk, oh the things it could say! :AH-HA_wink:

we get the point, Jackie Collins

you could write trash novels for a living!

[regfootball]

Do you mean for real, or "I wish", like Colin Farrel for me

i guess i kind of meant, do you feel you have met and know someone you will be with in a realtionship in the future, but there is nothing you can do now with that person....either they are married, etc. or you are or you will be separated. And, in say, 10 years, it would not surprise you that the cosmos brings you together to an explosive reunion and you finally get to experiece with that person after so many years what has intrigued you about each other now as you are or have been acquaintances previously.

Like, if your gramma remarried an old neighbor friend after husband one died type of thing, or you get divorced and stumble upon 'an old friend' ten years later. Sometimes you get this creepy but good feeling that that 'future person' has already been revealed to you or has or is part of your life now, it's just that there is no mindset you are in right now where your relationship with that person will change into an intimate type of realtionship although you suspect you both have maybe thought about it as a random thought that pure fancy for the mind.

Edited June 19, 2007 by regfootball

[Oracle of Delphi]

we get the point, Jackie Collins

you could write trash novels for a living!

I was only trying to answer Bob's questions.

[Hollingsworth]

double dang. that is a cool story. you need to tell us what happened later after the benefit gala.

I went home with my wife.

let me twist the topic a bit for those who care to answer. do you think you have met someone in your life who might be your partner in the future, down the road, if your situation changes? Kind of a reverse of the original question....that is, you have this uncanny feeling you may be with a certain person someday, but not for a long time and no possible way you can be with them now?

kind of like that 'person in waiting'.

Oh yes, again, back in college. Meredith. *sighs*

She was an Alpha Delta Pi, VP of the College Republicans, Presbyterian, and a business major. She always looked so...perfect. Every strand of her blonde hair in place, always wore her pearls, and wore warm colors and pastels everyday, along with just a hint of Chanel #5. My friends always joked that she just walked off a Lily Pulitzer ad, and deep down I kind of believed that for all her perfection lurked some kind of dark secret that she kept hidden. But still, I knew that she was the girl that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

But she always had a boyfriend. At first, I thought "Well, they have to end it sooner or later", but as far as I know, the three years that we went to college together, she was with the same guy (which says a lot about her, IMO). I often wonder if they got married, or what she's doing now.

My wife is also an ADPi alumni, but I don't think there's an appropriate way to ask her "Hey, you know that Meredith girl who was VP of the CRs who I always had the hots for? What do you think ever happened to her?" The couch really isn't all that comfortable to sleep on...

Edited June 20, 2007 by Hollingsworth

[regfootball]

I was only trying to answer Bob's questions.

i was just giving you some good natured grief. it was obvious from your descriptive that is was a memorable realthionship... it was very vivid and eloquently writtten. men as a gender do not usually have the ability to write stuff like that that vividly.

Edited June 20, 2007 by regfootball

[regfootball]

I went home with my wife.

Oh yes, again, back in college. Meredith. *sighs*

She was an Alpha Delta Pi, VP of the College Republicans, Presbyterian, and a business major. She always looked so...perfect. Every strand of her blonde hair in place, always wore her pearls, and wore warm colors and pastels everyday, along with just a hint of Chanel #5. My friends always joked that she just walked off a Lily Pulitzer ad, and deep down I kind of believed that for all her perfection lurked some kind of dark secret that she kept hidden. But still, I knew that she was the girl that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

But she always had a boyfriend. At first, I thought "Well, they have to end it sooner or later", but as far as I know, the three years that we went to college together, she was with the same guy (which says a lot about her, IMO). I often wonder if they got married, or what she's doing now.

My wife is also an ADPi alumni, but I don't think there's an appropriate way to ask her "Hey, you know that Meredith girl who was VP of the CRs who I always had the hots for? What do you think ever happened to her?" The couch really isn't all that comfortable to sleep on...

private detective and internet stalking works, i hear.

j/k , great story

its amazing in life you just 'connect' with some people. but you do not always get to spend your days with each of them. and you can run into them 15 years later and its like you didn't miss a day.

Edited June 20, 2007 by regfootball

[Oracle of Delphi]

i was just giving you some good natured grief. it was obvious from your descriptive that is was a memorable realthionship... it was very vivid and eloquently writtten. men as a gender do not usually have the ability to write stuff like that that vividly.

I am not a man, I am a living god!

[CARBIZ]

i guess i kind of meant, do you feel you have met and know someone you will be with in a realtionship in the future, but there is nothing you can do now with that person....either they are married, etc. or you are or you will be separated. And, in say, 10 years, it would not surprise you that the cosmos brings you together to an explosive reunion and you finally get to experiece with that person after so many years what has intrigued you about each other now as you are or have been acquaintances previously.

Like, if your gramma remarried an old neighbor friend after husband one died type of thing, or you get divorced and stumble upon 'an old friend' ten years later. Sometimes you get this creepy but good feeling that that 'future person' has already been revealed to you or has or is part of your life now, it's just that there is no mindset you are in right now where your relationship with that person will change into an intimate type of realtionship although you suspect you both have maybe thought about it as a random thought that pure fancy for the mind.

When you walk on the Dark Side, as I do, one of the few disadvantages is that you occasionally encounter someone with whom you are strongly attracted to but you know is hopeless. I had a straight friend about 25 years ago that I met when I was working at a dealership and going to university. I was 22, he was 19. We had a lot in common. He came to a few of the gay clubs with me. We would go to the cottage together. He was very physical in a friendly way, but not sexually. It drove me crazy and he knew it.

One night at the cottage, when he was quite drunk, he and a friend of his were playing with a fishing knife and "Andrew" cut his hand badly. I bandaged it up, but the bleeding would not stop. His friend passed out, as had the others. I had not been drinking, so we drove 30 minutes to the nearest hospital at 1 a.m. to get stitches for him. He grabbed a couple beers for the road (for him!). He came right out and said that he had thought about sleeping with me, that he was curious, but that he was more concerned about what would happen in the morning. He always said I treated him better than his girlfriends and that it bothered him that women expected to lay in bed and be worshipped, but would do little in return.

As I said, we were very close, and even kept in touch after we both left the dealership. He was very relaxed in his own sexuality and I always respected him for it. I still have pics of us all at the cottage and look at them, wondering what could have been.