Even He Wants a Salary Raise

[Z-06]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

I am willing to work any shift.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

The response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have

raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting

other locations.

You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in

order to start working.

You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the

correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed

the assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you have been constantly entering and exiting

the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Edited June 11, 2007 by smallchevy

[ZL-1]

[Hollingsworth]

I must be missing something here, because I don't understand this joke at all. Who is "the Pe**s"?

Edited June 11, 2007 by Hollingsworth

[aaaantoine]

Pff, like anyone would give him a salary.

He'd just spend it all on hookers and porno mags.

[aaaantoine]

Oh, and... "penis" isn't exactly a dirty word. It's the correct term for the part in question.

[Intrepidation]

I must be missing something here, because I don't understand this joke at all. Who is "the Pe**s"?

x2

[Cory Wolfe]

I didn't get it at first because someone had to censor a non-dirty word. Dumbass.

[Z-06]

Sorry guys, I had to copy it from an email, which my duphous friend send from his microsoft.com email address, which apparently "purges" bad words.

[FAPTurbo]

You are unable to work double shifts.

Wow... he's especially lazy...

[aaaantoine]

"Funny!!! And FIXED!"

Oh, crap! Was the Penis fired? Did the management confiscate his suspicious-looking bags!?

[ocnblu]

Yikes, hopefully he's not from California... he will be bagless quicker'n you can say "Snip snip!"

[deftonesfan867]

That's funny, mine always completes the task and works triple shifts sometimes.....

[Z-06]

I should have added a disclaimer that it came from Micro and Soft employee. :AH-HA_wink:

[Sixty8panther]

Funny stuff.

[ToniCipriani]

Full version:

http://www.utterpants.co.uk/fiction/mrpenis.html