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Relaxation techniques....


Drew Dowdell

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With all that has happened to me in the past two years... especially in the first 2 1/2 months of 2007... I need to find a way to relax. My mind spins faster than an NOSed S2000 engine peddle to the metal.

I find it very difficult to clear my mind. I'm starting to make mistakes... very simple mistakes... often. The constant mental distraction is.... well... distracting.

Any advice you guys might have could be helpful.

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Ahh, relaxation? Depends on what you want to relax. Your stomach? Hmm, pepto bismol? In the long run, a laxative would cause it to relax.

Mind, body, and soul? If you're sticking around home, maybe take a shot or two (of alcohol... we're not getting suicidal here! :P ). Put on a CD full of whale songs? Pull out your favorite TeddyBabe? Visit C&G and look up posts of other peoples' bad days, or just other members' normal days where they get hit by a Toyota on a normal basis?

Maybe one thing to help you relax would to not ask me. :) For me to relax, I typically call in my pup, speak to her, or speak to the Lord. I've taught myself to do these few things of the last few months and they've gotten me out of some really emotionally rough times...

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Get a hammock. Find two trees that provide shade and are within 10 feet of each other. String up hammock to the said trees.

Lie down and forget about the world.

Let me put it this way.... I've been to a clothing optional gay resort and I was still unable to "let go" mentally for 4 days.

Edited by Oldsmoboi
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I have a method that I use which I just sort of came up with on my own. If you really want, I can try to explain it in a later post. I'm really on a mission this evening and time is a bit short.

Let me know.

Installing that bright green shag carpet in your wagon, aren't ya? :AH-HA_wink: :P
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Ambien with an amaretto chaser (just a swig though)

Masturbation usually clears my mind when done at least.

My friend told me I should try martial arts, and learning to meditate. He's a 3rd degree blackbelt, and he has told me that the meditation really clears his head and allows him to refocus when finished. I however, have trouble meditating.

Finally, try to go under hypnosis. I'm serious. I couldn't be hypnotized but I know some who were able to be.

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To unwind, I like:

A 1/2 hr swimming in the pool.

A 1/2 hr or so in the jacuzzi.

An hr or two relaxing on the sofa with a glass of wine or two, listening to some of my favorite CDs (lots of guitar puts me in a great mood--vintage Clapton, Pink Floyd, U2, etc)

A good night's sleep (though I need sleeping pills to get it)

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Spending the afternoon washing and vaccuuming the Sonoma and Venture takes my mind off of stuff that's bothering me. Driving them also helps...the sound of a GM V6 working through the rpm range has never failed to calm me down (especially when under full throttle). Hearing my favorite song (Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse) is good...and friends are awesome things to be in the company of when a lot of things start to get to me.

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I usually abstain from self-help books because of my staunch religious upbringing, but I have found two books over the years that actually make good sense:

- A small one for Travel: 'As A Man Thinketh' by James Allen

Light reading - It's spiritually inspirational, without forcing religion. God isn't necessary (or mentioned) when understanding the concepts discussed. It focuses on how your inner thoughts affect (and control) your outer life. If you gain control of yourself, you'll be in more control of your life.

- A larger one for nightly reading: 'Feeling Good' by David D. Burns

Heavier, but well executed - A more in-depth step-by-step process of controlling your own thoughts... mostly how to eliminate negative thoughts that exist without much or any justification... and then what to do when there is justification. Pretty much the bottom line is if you address any issue, valid or absurd, with a correct line of reasoning, you'll resolve it appropriately. Unfortunately, my summary doesn't come close to doing the book justice.

- Another alternative is to make an appointment with a counselor. At times hearing yourself speak out loud about what's troubling you can provide the peace you need. Speaking with a professional would make the discussions more productive and maintain privacy.

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I'm not going to go into what I was talking about earlier unless Oldsmoboi requests it. Suffice it to say its my own method for clearing my mind.

Other than that, there are some great suggestions above which I can wholeheartedly echo with:

Reading a good work of fiction

Listening to mellow music, especially if it is live on an acoustic guitar or piano.

Writing anything you feel: prose, poetry,lyrics, stream-of - consciouness... anything at all.

Singing, even if you aren't any good.

Driving nowhere in particular on a sunny day in a car you like.

Any kind of physical activity that you enjoy

Completing a project you want to do. (or just putting in a good day's work on it)

Waking up as slowly as you want on a day off, sitting in the sun or a sunny window, maybe reading a while, having a snack you enjoy and a beverage or two of your choice.

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To relax and/or clear the mind (for me at least):

- do math problems. :P. Weird as it sounds, I usually find comfort in the fact that I can actually figure something in my life out logically.

- read. Anything works. My favorite authors are Bill Bryson and Jodi Picoult.

- music. Put on anything really catchy. Turn it way up. Sing along. Repeat as necessary.

LOL, after typing this I feel like such a NERD. :P

Edited by Farkas
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I have a method that I use which I just sort of came up with on my own. If you really want, I can try to explain it in a later post. I'm really on a mission this evening and time is a bit short.

Let me know.

I'd love to know. I know you've been through a lot recently yourself and tips from you could be quite useful.

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I'm really tired so I hope this makes sense.

As you all may have guessed , I'm something of an insomniac and I discovered this while trying to get to sleep.

This is my process:

I try to lie down and be comfortable with the position I land in. If I'm not, I start over.

Once comfortable, I wait for my breathing and heart rate to slow (and will them to do so).

Then, I close my eyes and try to concentrate on only feeling the farther extremities of my body(finger/toes). I concentrate on the sensations there( cool,warm, maybe an itch).

If there is an itch, I try to use my mind to eliminate the sensation (this can work if you don't try too hard, otherwise you can start itching all over). If I fail, I back up at least one step.

At this point (barring itches) I really only feel the tips of my fingers and toes, so I begin the next step.

I then try to move my points of concentration slowly away from my extremities leaving each area of my body shut down sensationwise as I pass it.

Eventually, I have done this for my whole body and remain very,very still.

Remember, the eyes have been closed this entire time.

At this point, I begin to look at what there is too "see" with my closed eyes. Generally, this will be the illusion of color and motion.

The next step is to "look around" without moving my eyes. In other words, I will move my perception rather than the eyes themselves.

I have always refered to what I am seeing as "purple dust clouds" which are constantly swirling and shifting.

Watching these clouds is my method of not thinking about anything at all, which is very hard to do if you are trying.

If I've done all of this just right, the next thing I know it's morning.

Hope this helps and doesn't seem too strange.

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Camino,

Nope ... doesn't seem strange. Sounds VERY relaxing, in fact.

And, Olds ... very sorry you've been so stressed out as of late. If you want to vent, you know how to reach me ;).

As for relaxing ... driving. That's what I do ;).

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"One more sad story's one more than I can stand" ... Anne Murray ... 'A Little Good News'

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This sounds weird but works:

Whatever thought keeps showing up: mentally put it in a box, cut wrapping paper, tape, crease, cut ribbon, tie bow, and then put it away for later. Repeat as necessary.

omg...sweetie you would be soooo much happier if you just CAME OUT!!

Posted Image

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I've never tried yoga or meditation. One would have to take classes, I presume. Therefore, here's my cheap version and the more expensive version.

The first is the long-drive by yourself somewhere scenic or inspiring, that isn't particularly populated or hectic. Make a day of it. Eat in local dives or coffee houses and take a few walks. No loud music of any kind permitted.

The second is a long weekend away. Again, not to be near people. Someplace woodsy and quiet. Sleep a lot or watch movies in the hotel. I always try to spend 3 days like this in the small towns outside of Montreal when I go there for a week and fall colors are at peak. It feels great.

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Whatever you do, don't think about all the things you want to do to your project car. That'll keep you up all night.

This is probably an offbeat suggestion, but have you tried bicycling? Most of you know that I cycle a lot. Find a lightly traveled road (or trail, whatever you prefer), and just go. Think about whatever you want while you're doing it - you'll be wearing yourself out the whole time - but in most cases I come back with a clear head.

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I'm really tired so I hope this makes sense.

As you all may have guessed , I'm something of an insomniac and I discovered this while trying to get to sleep.

This is my process:

I try to lie down and be comfortable with the position I land in. If I'm not, I start over.

Once comfortable, I wait for my breathing and heart rate to slow (and will them to do so).

Then, I close my eyes and try to concentrate on only feeling the farther extremities of my body(finger/toes). I concentrate on the sensations there( cool,warm, maybe an itch).

If there is an itch, I try to use my mind to eliminate the sensation (this can work if you don't try too hard, otherwise you can start itching all over). If I fail, I back up at least one step.

At this point (barring itches) I really only feel the tips of my fingers and toes, so I begin the next step.

I then try to move my points of concentration slowly away from my extremities leaving each area of my body shut down sensationwise as I pass it.

Eventually, I have done this for my whole body and remain very,very still.

Remember, the eyes have been closed this entire time.

At this point, I begin to look at what there is too "see" with my closed eyes. Generally, this will be the illusion of color and motion.

The next step is to "look around" without moving my eyes. In other words, I will move my perception rather than the eyes themselves.

I have always refered to what I am seeing as "purple dust clouds" which are constantly swirling and shifting.

Watching these clouds is my method of not thinking about anything at all, which is very hard to do if you are trying.

If I've done all of this just right, the next thing I know it's morning.

Hope this helps and doesn't seem too strange.

Thank you. That is good for getting to sleep I'm sure. I've got prescription drugs for that. It's the stuff in my mind all dday that I'm trying to get rid of. It's the stuff that keeps spinning in my head while I try to do anything and everything.

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Thank you. That is good for getting to sleep I'm sure. I've got prescription drugs for that. It's the stuff in my mind all dday that I'm trying to get rid of. It's the stuff that keeps spinning in my head while I try to do anything and everything.

Try the present wrapping thing. Honestly you're telling yourself "OK, I'm putting it aside for later."
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Thank you. That is good for getting to sleep I'm sure. I've got prescription drugs for that. It's the stuff in my mind all dday that I'm trying to get rid of. It's the stuff that keeps spinning in my head while I try to do anything and everything.

Let's just say it has a lingering effect. And its better than prescriptions anyway, since you are ,in effect, training your mind to relax.

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Most of you know that I cycle a lot. Find a lightly traveled road (or trail, whatever you prefer), and just go.

I know L.I. is huge...some 110 miles from Brooklyn out to Montauk, right?

However, at what point (or, beyond which towns in Suffolk) does it thin out so as to be woodsy farmland? I can tell you, for example, where LA, Sac and Seattle make the transition from suburb to undeveloped wilderness. Just curious.

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I would say roughly Exit 64 on the LIE. Pretty much all of the land west of there is spoken for. Once you get east of there, it's somewhat less developed. That's changing fast, though. The entire North Fork is being gobbled up by developers, and farms are disappearing left and right.

There's still quite a few places where you could have some fun on a mountain bike. Cathedral Pines, about 3 miles from my house, is probably the best all-around trails on the Island. There's also Rocky Point Preseve and of course the state parks. You have some pretty varied terrain for road biking, too - flat straightaways, curvy hills, and everything in between. I just signed up for the Montauk Century and start training for it this Saturday. To bad it'll only get up to 37 that day.

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I would say roughly Exit 64 on the LIE. Pretty much all of the land west of there is spoken for. Once you get east of there, it's somewhat less developed. That's changing fast, though. The entire North Fork is being gobbled up by developers, and farms are disappearing left and right.

There's still quite a few places where you could have some fun on a mountain bike. Cathedral Pines, about 3 miles from my house, is probably the best all-around trails on the Island. There's also Rocky Point Preseve and of course the state parks. You have some pretty varied terrain for road biking, too - flat straightaways, curvy hills, and everything in between. I just signed up for the Montauk Century and start training for it this Saturday. To bad it'll only get up to 37 that day.

I'd say just east of Rocky Point for the north shore is slightly farmland... although as you've said, it's being eaten up by development.

The south shore, well, although I live here now, I still don't know it too well.

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"If you wanna get down, Down on the ground Cocaine"

"lets go smoke some pot,

When your singing a song

And smokin a bong,

Lets go smoke some pot"

Just some sugestions

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The first is the long-drive by yourself somewhere scenic or inspiring, that isn't particularly populated or hectic. Make a day of it. Eat in local dives or coffee houses and take a few walks. No loud music of any kind permitted.

This works for me...I like taking drives into the mountains..maybe 50-150 miles west from Denver... stroll along the main street of small towns..very relaxing..great Spring thru Fall..

The second is a long weekend away. Again, not to be near people. Someplace woodsy and quiet. Sleep a lot or watch movies in the hotel. I always try to spend 3 days like this in the small towns outside of Montreal when I go there for a week and fall colors are at peak. It feels great.

I like doing this a lot also...in driving distance from home, I like going to central & Western Slope Colorado towns, places like Salida, Gunnison, Ouray, Silverton away from the resorts for some R&R. Or northern New Mexico.

If I fly away, I like going to Northern Arizona, Sonoma County, Ca, or my old stomping grounds of Western PA/Eastern Ohio (great for fall colors).

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I really, really long hard fart.

Hmmm...is fart a noun or verb here? It feels like it's missing the verb... 'I really, really make a long hard fart' sounds better.. :) Flattus emission can be relaxing, though. It does relieve pressure..

Edited by moltar
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Hmmm...is fart a noun or verb here? It feels like it's missing the verb... 'I really, really make a long hard fart' sounds better.. :) Flattus emission can be relaxing, though. It does relieve pressure..

That feels like it's missing an adverb "I really, really want to to make a hard fart." sounds even better :P

Passing gas, braking, wind, cutting the cheese, cleaning out the colon, etc...it's all good and very few things feel so good.

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With all that has happened to me in the past two years... especially in the first 2 1/2 months of 2007... I need to find a way to relax. My mind spins faster than an NOSed S2000 engine peddle to the metal.

I find it very difficult to clear my mind. I'm starting to make mistakes... very simple mistakes... often. The constant mental distraction is.... well... distracting.

Any advice you guys might have could be helpful.

I'm sure it was well intentioned, but considering what has happened recently, your retreat probably wasn't the best thing to clear your mind.

When I need to clear my head, I usually lay across my bed and listen to music (angry music works best for me) and think about what is bothering me. Sometimes that is enough to clear my head. When that doesn't work, I try hanging out with people that I can talk to about totally unrelated things (distraction). Quiet time (like watching movies) will give your mind time to stew again.

Sorry, I know it's lame advice.

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I would have to say the gym has helped me. The treadmill, the stepper... time flies and the endorphins flow.

I want to know about the chicks you've met there that Mama was inquiring about, possibly because she wants you to bring them to her place to meet her. :AH-HA_wink:

Seriously, the gym is a big anti-depressant and, after the endorphin high, there's a mellowing period where the heart rate comes down. That's a real nice feeling. I've lost 5 lbs. in the last 2 weeks, but that's because I ain't on the job where the candy bar jug was always stocked and the kitchen always had some type of a spread present.

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