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Posted

i dont htink that young 13 year old kid really needs to hear that...what would his mother say?

Posted

Here's another good one:

What's the difference between Elton John and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your meat.

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What's the difference between a plastic bag and Michael Jackson?

One is made of plasitc, and is very dangerous for your child to play with,

and the other carries your groceries.

Posted

What is the difference between 365 condoms and a Goodyear Tire? One is a Goodyear and one is a great year. LOL. Sorry I just got a huge kick out of that and it has stayed with me all day.

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I love it. It's a keeper. I will tell it to people at work tomorrow.

Allow me to add one:

What is the difference between a "Wheat Thin" and a lesbian?

A "Wheat Thin" is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker.

Posted

I love it.  It's a keeper.  I will tell it to people at work tomorrow.

Allow me to add one:

What is the difference between a "Wheat Thin" and a lesbian?

A "Wheat Thin" is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker.

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i love those...got one for you; whats the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diareah?

the epileptic cornhusker shucks between fits.

what do you call a female turtle? a clitortoise

a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopus. gay dinosaur? megasoreass.

one more lesbian joke you should appreciate. how do you know if you are

in a lesbians house?

its all tongue in groove no studs.

hope no ones offended. all in good fun.

ok, last one. whyd the italians lose the war? the ordered ziti instead of shells!

Posted

ione more lesbian joke you should appreciate.  how do you know if you are

in a lesbians house? 

its all tongue in groove no studs.

hope no ones offended.  all in good fun.

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Not offended. Bring them on!

Yeah...the lesbian's house version is heard is slightly different, but pretty much the same.

Posted

whyd the italians lose the war?  the ordered ziti instead of shells!

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Damn...now I'm hungry. I need to go eat that leftover Velveeta $h! I have in the fridge...
Posted

yea yea yea...what if i told you are driving age starts at you 14 or 15th birthday whichever comes first.

Posted

Here's an oldie I heard from the late great Redd Foxx.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

A pickpocket snatches watches.

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thats a good one. couldnt remember it...

Not offended. Bring them on!

haha ok. nothing like a good joke, paison.

howd the germans take over poland so easily? they marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

a guy goes into the doctors office sticks out his nine inch tongue and the nurse goes "ahhhh"

i got more but theyre either long or need to be delivered... ill try one more for now.

old guy gets on the bus and sees a punk rocker. his hair is blue green yellow, purple, hes got feather earings and just stares at him... the punk rocker guy looks back at him and says whats the matter old man? didnt you ever do anything crazy when you were young? he says yeah, one time i f@#ked a parrot i thought you mightve been my kid.

chinese couples in bed, wife says i want 69...the husband says, why you want beed with broccoli now?

why dont the cheerleaders in san franscico wear short skirts? because when they sit down their balls hang out.

how do you know if youre using a blondes computer? theres white out on the screen....dont get me started ill be here all day and ive got work.

Posted

old guy gets on the bus and sees a punk rocker.  his hair is blue green yellow, purple, hes got feather earings and just stares at him... the punk rocker guy looks back at him and says whats the matter old man?  didnt you ever do anything crazy when you were young?  he says yeah,  one time i f@#ked a parrot i thought you mightve been my kid.

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:lol: :rotflmao:

Posted

yea yea yea...what if i told you are driving age starts at you 14 or 15th birthday whichever comes first.

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well, I've found that more often than not, the 14th usually comes first.
Posted

Did you hear about the new line of Jewish cars?

They can stop on a dime then reach down and pick it up.

Heard that one today, chuckled mostly because I didn't expect it to come out of the mouth of the person who said it, then figured I'd post it on C&G because it is car related in a way.

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