Is Respect gone?

[capriceman]

Me and 2 "brothers" (really just friends but we call each other family) where in a public place talking about going to see the memorial wall soon. Since Who doesnt know some one on there? and some asshole turned and told us straight to our faces that its a waste of time and we should go see somthing else more entertaining. Im still speachless. Yes, I have been there more than once and its not exciting but Its one of the only things that gets me teary eyed seeing the names of people you knew. It is something every one should see. Just to pay respect to our fallin heros.

[Flybrian]

Its a waste of time to go to a loved one's funeral; they're already dead.

What kind of stupid attitude is that? I agree, respect is dwindling.

[Paolino]

Today's youth is devoid of respect. It's scary.

And I can't even begin to tell you the assholism (yeah, I'm going to make that a word), that I see when it comes to school politics.

[razoredge]

I think too many have watched too many cartoons and video games, now they think that is the reality of life. You fall down, get dead, then just get back up and go at it again.

theres no "play again" in real life

this is the real $h!..........girls !

[Cory Wolfe]

Don't need to tell me about a lack of respect... I hate Brookville.

[ocnblu]

Cappy, go to the wall.

[avant1963]

I hate when the blame is put on video games and cartoons. I'm 33, play video games regularly (and have since I had an Oddessy 2 waaaayyy back when) and still love cartoons.

All the respect I have for people and property comes my my parents and family. My recent intrest in politics has come from watching the country that I love get raped by elitist corporatists. Though my parents were never into politics, I believe that it is the values that they instilled in me (and these ARE NOT religious values - I believe that you can be an atheist and still have a moral code, unlike many people) that makes me want the truth and fight for it.

So video games, etc are not the CAUSE, they are a concequence to many parents not caring what their children do or say, or of a society when both parents have to work, sometimes more than one job, just to make ends meet, and that "daily talk around the dinner table" becomes somthing only "rich people can do, honey." That leads me to the systematic extiction of the middle class, but that's another topic.

It just gets under my skin when someone blames something that I have enjoyed for 20 + years (and I like the violent games and horror movies, but that doesn't make me want to go out and kill) for something that I would never even contimplate doing. Thanks mom and dad for putting a good head on my shoulders.

Oh, and on topic, there is a huge lack of respect from people in general, not just kids, in the US today. It's almost disheartening.

[trinacriabob]

Some people are jerks, no matter what, where, in which generation, etc.

Heck, we could start a thread on jerk stories (on second thought, no, that could be misinterpreted).

I believe memorials to the fallen are important. They gave their lives, leaving behind grieving parents and loved ones. On the other hand, the rest us of go about our daily lives and have the privilege of posting on C&G in our pajamas. Seriously, we have a lot to be thankful for.

[american_revolution_2005]

Paolino, that's not totally true. I know quite a few respectful people and my friends are generally respectful to people unless that person pisses them off. But then again we're Canadians lol. However, some of the youth are extremely disrespectful. Especially when we have our art displays. No respect for most artwork. Mine had pop spilled all over it but it turned out it wasn't a kid. We watched the surveillance videos and it turned out it was my principal. I have gained respect by my knowledge of cars and how I can draw them. Most respect that because they can't do it or they may like cars. Some are still disrespectful but they are the ones who don't really know me.

[trinacriabob]

However, some of the youth are extremely disrespectful. Especially when we have our art displays. No respect for most artwork. Mine had pop spilled all over it but it turned out it wasn't a kid. We watched the surveillance videos and it turned out it was my principal.

207257[/snapback]

Gosh, what a revelation. I hope that was an accident and not intentional. Even teachers and administrators are jerks at times!

[Croc]

Today's youth is devoid of respect.  It's scary.

And I can't even begin to tell you the assholism (yeah, I'm going to make that a word), that I see when it comes to school politics.

207205[/snapback]

Dude you work in a school. A middle school. TRUST ME popularity contests and bullying are nothing new or unique to this generation of kids.

[american_revolution_2005]

It was kind of an accident and kind of out of stupidity. The video showed him leaning over to look at my art closely and he must have forgot he had the Pepsi so the Pepsi leaned with him and spilled. He tried to clean it up quickly then he ran back into his office and never came back. He only admitted to it once we had watched the videos. I do not like him and I think he should've at least told me. I still would've been mad but just leaving it and not telling anyone is worse.

[razoredge]

Dude you work in a school.  A middle school.  TRUST ME popularity contests and bullying are nothing new or unique to this generation of kids.

207263[/snapback]

Thats within an age group, it has nothing to do with outward respect. Respect for the past, respect for elders, respect for parents, respect for teachers, respect for community, respect for personal property

TRUST ME ! The $h! the past 3 decades of children have gotten away with would have gotten my generation a sore butt, serious restrictions, a life made myserable, a frown from your parents that would cut to the bone.

We didnt trash our schools, destroy cemetarys, vandalize everything and anything we could get our hands on.

Back in the early 90's when school budgets were first going through the roof, my father and I had a bit of an arguement. I asked whats up with all these "teachers aids" we need to employ now ? We never had teachers aids. Why are they complaining about having 22 kids in the classroom, we always had at least that many but usually 26-29 ?" ......Well he got a bit intence and said. "We now have children that were raised by parents that did not instill any form of control on their children. We have children that were not even raised through preschool age by their mothers, they just ran rampant, uncontrolled at some relative's or friends or "day care" center. We have children that were raised by parents that smoked dope in front of them or with them."

I had to sit there, dumbfounded, because I surely had no comeback. As he spoke I could see the picture and knew what he was saying was correct. So yea, it could easily be said that a large portion of baby boomers did a $h! job of raising their kids. Most have been forced into dual incomes, we did have a drug culture, we did have a discontent attitude with Nam, the police, politics..........but thats a huge circle isnt it ? Like one great big snowball, we could blame our parents generation for and they in return could blame their parents generation.

Problem is for those of us that did raise their kids strict and disciplined, with scruples, dignity, respect and principles. We always have to answer to the lowest common denominator. If you have kids with bad attitudes, dealing up lip service every chance they get, as a parent you have to fight this influence off dayly. Generation for generation the percentages increase and the challenge becomes greater.

There is no doubt in my mind that our children are our parents revenge and payback is a bitch.

[Croc]

Still disagree razor...I've heard plenty of stories from my parents' and grandparents' youth that tell me nothing's really changed. Now, my parents are definitely early baby boomers and fairly traditional...I'm not a fan of a lot of the new age "parenting" crap either...THAT SAID...a lot of that traditional stuff instilled fear and not respect. There's a big difference there.

[Cory Wolfe]

I'm going to have to agree with Croc... The stories I've heard about my parents, aunts and uncles... Me? I'm just a little angel compared to them.

[ocnblu]

I'm just guessing, but... I think Paulie was talking about staff, not students.

[Croc]

I'm just guessing, but... I think Paulie was talking about staff, not students.

207324[/snapback]

Today's youth is devoid of respect.  It's scary.

207205[/snapback]

Edited October 22, 2006 by Croc

[ocnblu]

Read the second sentence in Paulie's post. Starting with the first word, it infers he's talking about staff.

[razoredge]

Disagree all you want, but in small town 60/70's America there was no disrespect shown to adults and personal property by kids. The stuff I have heard come out of kids mouths today we would never have even thought of saying nor wanted to say. We took our lumps as a lesson taught. We didnt need to go into hissy fits and tantrums, yelling and screaming vulgarities, we would have been ashamed to be seen carring on like that.

I never said we were angels. We were talking about respect, not hell raisin. If we got in trouble for hell raisin we acepted our punishment, so many of todays children go into fits of rage, then search out means for revenge, because they got in trouble for doing something that was wrong.

I was never afraid of my father, mother or grandparents. Even when I was getting my ass paddled, which was rare but did happen, I was not in fear. My parents were the ones that I did not have to be physically afraid of, the bullies/older kids in school could put a bigger lasting hurtin. The fear I had was placing disappointment in their eyes....thats called RESPECT !

Teenagers in our schools today hold our teachers hostage to their little whims. If a teacher tries to do anything to curb a students behavior, next thing you know they are down in court and the little prick or bitch is running around with a big smirk "I showed you"

I know parents that were raising their children with the "take a time out", woossy, be nice and tolerant attitude. Now we all have teenagers and have to listen to these same whimpy bleeding hearts cry about "I cant believe the things Jr. says to me, I cant believe the names he/she calls me, I dont understand the fits of rage, we never did anything to him/her"......................my reply........ "exactly"

Dont worry, your times a commin, I hope you guys get it done "right". We have teachers aids today, will you guys have armed guards ? ............

[ocnblu]

It is a sad day when a teacher in a classroom is afraid to keep order, or worse, is UNABLE to keep order. Parents today do not want to hear that little Johnnie is anything less than a perfect angel. They blame the teacher for their own poor parenting abilities and Johnnie's self-centered little asshole attitude. There needs to be a smackdown on these brats.

[DetroitNut90]

It is a sad day when a teacher in a classroom is afraid to keep order, or worse, is UNABLE to keep order.  Parents today do not want to hear that little Johnnie is anything less than a perfect angel.  They blame the teacher for their own poor parenting abilities and Johnnie's self-centered little asshole attitude.  There needs to be a smackdown on these brats.

207394[/snapback]

Blu, you just hit the nail on the head. It's amazing what some parents will say to teachers when the teacher has the nerve to tell them their kid's disrespectful. And even then, it's not that the parent cares, it's that their pride was attacked in front of a bunch of people (even though those people are still minors).

[Croc]

It is a sad day when a teacher in a classroom is afraid to keep order, or worse, is UNABLE to keep order.  Parents today do not want to hear that little Johnnie is anything less than a perfect angel.  They blame the teacher for their own poor parenting abilities and Johnnie's self-centered little asshole attitude.  There needs to be a smackdown on these brats.

207394[/snapback]

Funny...I deal with wild and unruly kids ages 3-10 every summer...except they aren't unruly in MY classroom. I have had others bring their kids to me to control them when they can't...

Dunno what it is, maybe I just set expectations the first day and don't try to be their friends...not to say I'm mean, but I present myself as an authority figure instead of an equal. Many of the kids come back year after year and I know one girl wants to work with me this next summer now that she's old enough to help lead.

[daves87rs]

It is a sad day when a teacher in a classroom is afraid to keep order, or worse, is UNABLE to keep order.  Parents today do not want to hear that little Johnnie is anything less than a perfect angel.  They blame the teacher for their own poor parenting abilities and Johnnie's self-centered little asshole attitude.  There needs to be a smackdown on these brats.

207394[/snapback]

So very true.

But, In this case, respect is going to vary by both class, location, and opinion...

and generation....

[Bimmer325]

Disagree all you want, but in small town 60/70's America there was no disrespect shown to adults and personal property by kids. 

207359[/snapback]

[Cory Wolfe]

Disagree all you want, but in small town 60/70's America there was no disrespect shown to adults and personal property by kids. The stuff I have heard come out of kids mouths today we would never have even thought of saying nor wanted to say. We took our lumps as a lesson taught. We didnt need to go into hissy fits and tantrums, yelling and screaming vulgarities, we would have been ashamed to be seen carring on like that.

I never said we were angels. We were talking about respect, not hell raisin. If we got in trouble for hell raisin we acepted our punishment, so many of todays children go into fits of rage, then search out means for revenge, because they got in trouble for doing something that was wrong. 

I was never afraid of my father, mother or grandparents. Even when I was getting my ass paddled, which was rare but did happen, I was not in fear. My parents were the ones that I did not have to be physically afraid of, the bullies/older kids in school could put a bigger lasting hurtin. The fear I had was placing disappointment in their eyes....thats called RESPECT !

Teenagers in our schools today hold our teachers hostage to their little whims. If a teacher tries to do anything to curb a students behavior, next thing you know they are down in court and the little prick or bitch is running around with a big smirk "I showed you"

I know parents that were raising their children with the "take a time out", woossy, be nice and tolerant attitude. Now we all have teenagers and have to listen to these same whimpy bleeding hearts cry about "I cant believe the things Jr. says to me, I cant believe the names he/she calls me, I dont understand the fits of rage, we never did anything to him/her"......................my reply........ "exactly"

Dont worry, your times a commin, I hope you guys get it done "right". We have teachers aids today, will you guys have armed guards ? ............

207359[/snapback]

I still disagree. I never said anything about "hell raising". What I said centered around respect. Comparing the generation of my parents, aunts, and uncles... to my generation... I don't see much of a difference, as far as respect goes. Both generations have their bad apples, obviously. Both could show a lack of respect, but both are not devoid of it. Since Brookville is by all means a small town and has been one since the start of its existance and all...

[balthazar]

No dis, vipes, but you are simply too young to observe the change in kids over time. You haven't seen successive generations of teens grow up and looking at your parents as adults doesn't tell you much at all about what they were like when they were your age. You really don't have much (any) of a frame of reference on this one.

Not that I'm advocating it, but sometimes an element of.... let's say reprocussions from parents can lead to the development of respect a bit later that can last a lifetime. You don't have to look much farther than a military boot camp for infinite example of that in practice. Yet most of today's parents are encouraged to.... let's say 'let things go' WRT their kid's behavior, and later they wonder WTH happened to Johnny.

[sciguy_0504]

Disagree all you want, but in small town 60/70's America there was no disrespect shown to adults and personal property by kids. The stuff I have heard come out of kids mouths today we would never have even thought of saying nor wanted to say. We took our lumps as a lesson taught. We didnt need to go into hissy fits and tantrums, yelling and screaming vulgarities, we would have been ashamed to be seen carring on like that.

I never said we were angels. We were talking about respect, not hell raisin. If we got in trouble for hell raisin we acepted our punishment, so many of todays children go into fits of rage, then search out means for revenge, because they got in trouble for doing something that was wrong. 

I was never afraid of my father, mother or grandparents. Even when I was getting my ass paddled, which was rare but did happen, I was not in fear. My parents were the ones that I did not have to be physically afraid of, the bullies/older kids in school could put a bigger lasting hurtin. The fear I had was placing disappointment in their eyes....thats called RESPECT !

Teenagers in our schools today hold our teachers hostage to their little whims. If a teacher tries to do anything to curb a students behavior, next thing you know they are down in court and the little prick or bitch is running around with a big smirk "I showed you"

I know parents that were raising their children with the "take a time out", woossy, be nice and tolerant attitude. Now we all have teenagers and have to listen to these same whimpy bleeding hearts cry about "I cant believe the things Jr. says to me, I cant believe the names he/she calls me, I dont understand the fits of rage, we never did anything to him/her"......................my reply........ "exactly"

Dont worry, your times a commin, I hope you guys get it done "right". We have teachers aids today, will you guys have armed guards ? ............

207359[/snapback]

You're talking about the 60's and 70's, two of the worst decades in American history, IMO. That's when all respect, sanity, common sense, morals and values went out the window. Now, the majority has to respect the minority but not vice versa, little sanity exists, common sense is completely gone, and morals and values are made fun of.

I believe the biggest problem is how the "enlightened" have forced society to accept anything and everything through lawsuits, laws and protests. People no longer have to face consequences for their actions at home, work or school. People are afraid to voice their feelings and opinions because of the risk of "offending" someone. I'm offended every damn day but you don't see me bitching about it, suing people, demanding monuments be taken down, beating people up, etc.

People have to grow up, gets some balls and a spine, and start taking responsibility for their own actions. Don't blame video games or movies, music or tv shows, gangs, drugs, alcohol, your childhood, etc. Blame yourself, live and learn.

For me, I know what my values are. I have my opinions. For the most part, I will not compromise or change them and if gets me fired, demoted, sued or attacked I could care less.

[Cory Wolfe]

You're talking about the 60's and 70's, two of the worst decades in American history, IMO.  That's when all respect, sanity, common sense, morals and values went out the window.  Now, the majority has to respect the minority but not vice versa, little sanity exists, common sense is completely gone, and morals and values are made fun of.

I believe the biggest problem is how the "enlightened" have forced society to accept anything and everything through lawsuits, laws and protests.  People no longer have to face consequences for their actions at home, work or school.  People are afraid to voice their feelings and opinions because of the risk of "offending" someone.  I'm offended every damn day but you don't see me bitching about it, suing people, demanding monuments be taken down, beating people up, etc.

People have to grow up, gets some balls and a spine, and start taking responsibility for their own actions.  Don't blame video games or movies, music or tv shows, gangs, drugs, alcohol, your childhood, etc.  Blame yourself, live and learn.

For me, I know what my values are.  I have my opinions.  For the most part, I will not compromise or change them and if gets me fired, demoted, sued or attacked I could care less.

207974[/snapback]

[Paolino]

Dude you work in a school.  A middle school.  TRUST ME popularity contests and bullying are nothing new or unique to this generation of kids.

207263[/snapback]

I'm just guessing, but... I think Paulie was talking about staff, not students.

207324[/snapback]

Yup, was talking about the staff and parents.

Funny...I deal with wild and unruly kids ages 3-10 every summer...except they aren't unruly in MY classroom.  I have had others bring their kids to me to control them when they can't...

Dunno what it is, maybe I just set expectations the first day and don't try to be their friends...not to say I'm mean, but I present myself as an authority figure instead of an equal.  Many of the kids come back year after year and I know one girl wants to work with me this next summer now that she's old enough to help lead.

207456[/snapback]

Try working in an actual school on Long Island, during the school year. You'll realize how little power you have in the classroom, and how easily someone can mess with anything you try to instill. It's insane. Oh, and then do that without a contract... cause that's where I am now.

[razoredge]

You're talking about the 60's and 70's, two of the worst decades in American history, IMO. That's when all respect, sanity, common sense, morals and values went out the window. Now, the majority has to respect the minority but not vice versa, little sanity exists, common sense is completely gone, and morals and values are made fun of.

Two of the most important decades in American history. The first and last time American people stood up and said "we are not going to tolerate this crap". I mean you guys try to do it but when asked "what crap" you come up dumbfounded. You better get a history lesson to say "Thats when all bla bla bla went out the window" For what ever our oversites and short commings were ?...........ya's all's..... perfected it..........

Today little sanity exists because people like to overlook whats really going on, take the easy way out, thats the insanity right there. It seems to be a large problem with you younger guys, that have tasted little of lifes cold hard reality, yet think you know it all. Is this why you have no respect ? Too busy being know it alls ? Because those of us from the 60's and 70's that were raised proper have respect and values. Now ! How about yourselves ?

This comment ?

"Don't blame video games or movies, music or tv shows, gangs, drugs, alcohol, your childhood, etc. Blame yourself, live and learn."

Is 100% wrong ! Its been proven that early developement and infuence are lasting long term values. Growing up with ones head in a screen game.....aint good ! Lots of bad attitude cartoons/movies/music..........aint good ! Neighborhoods with gangs (drugs alcohol) aint good ! Neighborhoods with no real jobs....aint good ! These are not things children can control. Moms not around, she has to work, Dads not around he has to work, or bailed all together....aint good ! Mom and Dad are drinking and doing drugs all the time....aint good !

Comming from a privilaged life, most are unwilling to understand the complexities of these issues and pass it off as "live and learn" not realizing that those you are talking too have learned things you do not want to know or hear about.

[76ChevyTrucker]

All right, I guess I could put my two cents into this one. I'm 23 years old, my parents raised me to respect my elders, family members, and those that earn the respect that I give them. I've been to the Wall several times, its a very moving experience. I say go to it. Now when it comes time for my little girl to arrive, I will beat her butt when it needs it, and raise her the same way I was raised. I got my ass whooped whenever the need be, when I got older, I got things taken away from me (namely because my ass started to hurt my parents' hands). I'm pretty well rounded out as far as discipline. The kids in my church listen to me, and they all know that I will whip someone's ass if it comes to it. I don't believe in the "time out" method of parenting, I haven't seen it work, I've only seen it backfire, so its not going to happen on my watch. Although this is my two cents.

[ocnblu]

76ChevyTrucker:

[zhawk]

I have two kids of my own and while I will be the first to admit they aren't perfect (how many parents nowadays will even admit that) I will say that they show people respect. Why? Because, I have taught them to.

My son is 12 and my daughter 8. They have been going to car shows with us for years and have always known to respect other people cars. I've seen kids crawl over someones classics, my kids won't even touch them.

Neither of them scream at the store for candy or treats, in fact they find kids who do that to be annoying.

What's this mean? If parents will raise their kids to listen and respect others the way earlier generations were raised then a lot of these problems won't exist. Its the parents who want to be 'FRIENDS' with their kids instead of roll models and parents who are setting their 'little angels' up for failure. I honestly believe that not disciplining your children is a form of child abuse.

Remember, I said my kids aren't perfect and I know their faults (trust me on that one) but I am proud of the people they are turning out to be.

[rkmdogs]

Apparently none of you participants are old enough to remember. Let me

share some light with you.

In the 60's there was a large political turmoil. There were major differences

in philosophy.

One of the conservatives was Barry Goldwater, who spoke some harse realities

that made some folks squirm.

In that campaign, a book came out. It was called "The Democrats Dilemma" by

Dr. Phillip Crane. He later became a Congressman.

In that book he shared some history. It was the history of the English Fabian

movement, which was a radical highly leftist philosophy.

He revealed that as part of their agenda, to infiltrate and take over, they came

to America and started infiltrating our colleges, targeting the teaching

curriculum. These would be the future teachers who would espouse socialism,

big government and the idea that "big brother can do it better."

They created the "Students for a Democratic Society", known as SDS; but their heads were so far up their asses that they did not recognize that the communist

party was pulling their strings, until there was a big organizational battle many

years later.

I went to school with some of these people. They were the the ones at the

bottom of the ladder rung, who went into education because it was the

easiest curriculum in college. There were no right or wrong answers onthe

tests, just give us your opinions.

These mental "giants" became the teachers who are teaching your kids today!

What goes around, comes around. The chickens have come home to roost!!!

[Intrepidation]

I disagree about blaming video games/TV. I find tha a lot of people just use these as scapegoats so they don't have to take responsibility for their own mistakes. Granted, at a younger age it is important to moderate what your children watch and can play until their minds are more developed and they have a better sense of morals and common sense. Parents can use parental controls on the TV, and they can not get the violent game for their 4 year old.

When it comes to teens and so on, who should have an understanding of the difference between what's real and what's not, and are old enough to understand what's acceptible real world behavior and what's not, it's their fault for being rude, disrespectful, violent, and so on. If they can't tell the difference between a game or reality, or can't put the controller down and walk away when they get irritated at it, or try to emulate stupid things they see on TV...it's their own stupid fault. Certainly there can be some influence, but it's not the determining factor.

That being said, I do agree that their a lot of factors that can influence how a child will turn out. Good parenting, neighborhood, school, and yes TV and video games. The biggest influence I believe is the parents and the environment. Poor parenting and a bad neighorhood will lead to trouble. Good parenting that teaches the child respect and he ability to desern good from bad/ right from wrong.

Once we become old enough to understand these things, we have no one to blame but ourselves for our actions. The problem hese days isn't just a lack of respect, but a lack of responsibility and wanting to blame everyone else for our problems.

Edited October 25, 2006 by Dodgefan

[capriceman]

I have been to the wall at least 10 times Me and my 2 friends try to go every year. We have plane tickets for friday night and come home saturday after noon. But its the fact that first of all He was listening to a conversation that he wasnt in. Then says somthing like that to people that know more than 15 people on that wall and are all veterns them selves.

Maybe im Crazy in todays society

But I belive Parents should go through tests and classes before they have a kid since some parents cant handle kids. Part Of the reason I wont have them First I dont think i could handle it. Second I wont be there all the time for them. Or I will get pissed off one day and have to kill um...

Since i never had kids i really cant tell people how to raise them. Vidoe games are fine but some one should tell them this doesnt happen in real life. And I do belive in Disipline. They need to be smacked a little to get it through there thick skulls. Also need to learn stuff them selves like The hot pans on stove, spoon in the microwave, Elecrtical outlets hurt.

But I see kids on skateborads flippin the bird to old people or useing my car as home plate in the street. and I think What happened? or goths?

I will add I am NOT a good role model either. I sometimes go to Schools and help the Army try to get suckers to join them and what disrespesct. Then you have the "SOCOM" generation kids that think you press "X" or "A" and you start over. Or your only out in a mission for 20 minutes at a time. Sometimes you stay in a 30 foot area for weeks straight.

I dont know anymore! Even people on this site dont repesct other peoples opinions.