Help Me Out, Boys (and girls too)...

[NOS2006]

I figured "boys" would get you in here faster than "guys" :P No idea. Okay, another girl thing. This is something that Nick would post (no offense dude, I don't mean it in a bad way.. if I did, I wouldn't post this!) and I'm lost too. About 2 or so years ago I liked this girl, Katie, quite a bit. Her cousin's family (she's real close to her cousin's family) and mine were cool with each other and hung out. Well, I hooked up with Katie. It was a bad relationship all because I had no idea what I was doing as a boyfriend. I didn't call, hang out with her, or anything. I was terrible and I admit it to this day to anybody. I had NO IDEA what the hell I was doing. Lately I started liking Katie again, but I've wanted to prove to her that I was going to not lack boyfriend skills like the last time. I've called her and I even stopped by her cousin's house the other day with my friend to say hey. ---------- Now.. stop.. give me analysis of the above. Then read on. ---------- I like this girl, Jen. Some of you might have seen my posts in the "Exorcism of Emily Rose" thread. I met her last week and talked to her throughout 5th hour and saw her each morning, walking her to class. Well she's new to the school and very much a sweetheart. I stayed out with her Saturday night (2 hours past curfew) at that movie and returned with my parents pissed at me like crazy. Well, after they met Jen, they liked her so much that they ungrounded me THE VERY NEXT DAY after being 2 hrs late. Well, now Jen comes up to me and says, "I heard something about you." Well, to my luck and disadvantage, it's Katie's bestfriend who is still holding a grudge on me for being a bad boyfriend to Katie in the first place. She told Jen that I was a "bad choice" and the next day told her that I "stalk" Katie. After Jen told me that I like broke down. Jen's absolutely amazing in every aspect of the word and now I have some other girl trying to pull me down. I don't get it. So I avoided Jen the last hour of the day and didn't know what to do because I didn't want her to think I was "stalking" her by saying "Hi... how was class." So she called me after seeing me avoiding her and asked what's going on. I told her.. flat out.. what happened and why I avoided her and how I didn't want her to think I was stalking her or w/e. I told her I like to give girls extra attention.. it's just my thing and how I do stuff. She told me that she didn't care how I was with Katie and that she doesn't care if I give her extra attention. And that I am weird. I want to ask her out though. She's really materialistic and seems to like flowers and cookies. How can I do this very sweetly, guys? I'm thinking to bake some cookies for her and bring them over with a couple flowers and ask her out, but would that be corny because she said the other day to give those 2 things to my mom was an apology for my disobedience of the curfew. I just want things to go right. I can't have people pulling me down. I reallly want this girl and I can only assume she wants me back considering she accepted to hang out with me, accepted to go to the movies with me (actually, she more or less just said she wanted to go and I went with her right after that), and, furthermore, asked for MY number in the first place. Ahh I feel sick.

[z28luvr01]

After reading the first part, here's my initial comments: How has Katie responded to your calling and your dropping by her cousin's house? If she wasn't totally blowing you off, you might have a shot if she's not currently seeing someone. Maybe you just ought to be straight with her, and tell her that the first time you two went out, that you didn't really know what you were doing as a boyfriend, and that probably gave her the wrong impression. After reading the second half, here's the rest: Sadly, your relationship with Jen is tainted before it started. You'll be able to do nothing right in that relationship, and every time you trip up, she'll probably bring up Katie. Another knock against Jen....you admitted she's materialistic. To me that's a red flag of sorts....materialistic people are seldom truly satisfied. In any case, I think the one you really want is Katie anyway, based on your last paragraph. Good luck though in whichever way you choose. I wish I had two women to choose from :)

[NOS2006]

The last paragraph was about Jen http://www.cheersandgears.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/AH-HA_wink.gif

Thanks, though.

[Cory Wolfe]

I would give you advice... but I can't. I'm not good at this crap. Way too shy. However, I do think Katie would be the better choice if it's one or the other. Jen doesn't sound bad, but as Z said, it seems as if it would be tainted. And I don't like materialistic girls. So... Um... IDK. :P

[NOS2006]

Well I'm going for Jen. I have a plan set in my mind...

[NOS2006]

..And I don't really think Katie's an option. I'm sure her friend has her brainwashed that I'm not the greatest guy. But stuff should work out with Jen. I'm going to just keep on trying. Hopefully she'll go out with me Saturday night. I'm hoping to drive her down to the beach/park and walk down the shoreline with her, then along the pier, and explain that I've always wanted to do that with someone. I'm not sure if she's into more romantic things, but hopefully this will work.

[Nick]

If Jen doesn't work out, you'll always have Katie to fall back on right? I mean, from the way it sounds, the both of you don't have much goin between you at the moment so it's not like she is anticipating anything between the two of you at the moment. Jen seems like a nice girl...the materialism I guess could be a problem, but what girl isn't materialistic these days? Then again it probbaly doesn't help that I live in like the materialistic women capital of the world. But I dunno, I for one am used to spending money on friends and people, so I don't know if I could handle being with a non-materialistic woman...Good luck though with whatever decision you make (looks like you're already decided)...take it easy dude...

[Guest Josh]

NOS let me first start by saying that you are one cool dude. The times we've hung out you're cool. My friends all agree and wish you'd come around more often!

That said.....in all seriousness bro trying to plan things, trying to make things happen will result in only one outcome. Nothing ever goes as you plan or want it to.

I've dated women and while they all have something I love and adore about them, there's always something that "goes wrong" or "isn't right." It's not us by any means, half the time it's the damn women!

I think your friend Katie may be feeing a bit jealous of your new found friendship of Jen. If her and Jen are becoming close friends and Jen can't help but talk about Frank The Tank then I can certainly see where the animosity towards you would come from Katie.

Katie will say things and possibly do things to try to influence Jens decision. Personally, I'd let Jen know my feelings for her (in a not so corny way) and I'd let it be her decision.

Tell her that you enjoy her company. Explain to her that you have an attraction to her and that you care how she is doing, how she is feeling, etc. In the same sense, admit that you had an attraction to Katie, but that however is no more and is "soooooo 2 years ago."

Denying you've ever had an attraction to Katie will only make things more complicated. Just admit it and as I said, explain to Jen how you feel about her.

The most we can do is let our feelings be known. Other than that, there's not much else.

[NOS2006]

Katie's not friends with Jen. It's Katie's bestfriend doing the talking. I want to tell Jen the truth about everything. And I will. I've already started to, as I said. I'll just play it out and see what's up! Thx, guys. And I'll def come around more, Josh, when things are set with Jen. I'm working a lot and it's busy this time of year because of Sr. pics, Homecoming, girls, work, school, etc. I'll be around, dude!

[sciguy_0504]

From experience, you and your relationship with your girlfriend's "friends" (as I call them) will break you up.

[regfootball]

NOS let me first start by saying that you are one cool dude. The times we've hung out you're cool. My friends all agree and wish you'd come around more often!

That said.....in all seriousness bro trying to plan things, trying to make things happen will result in only one outcome. Nothing ever goes as you plan or want it to.

I've dated women and while they all have something I love and adore about them, there's always something that "goes wrong" or "isn't right." It's not us by any means, half the time it's the damn women!

I think your friend Katie may be feeing a bit jealous of your new found friendship of Jen. If her and Jen are becoming close friends and Jen can't help but talk about Frank The Tank then I can certainly see where the animosity towards you would come from Katie.

Katie will say things and possibly do things to try to influence Jens decision. Personally, I'd let Jen know my feelings for her (in a not so corny way) and I'd let it be her decision.

Tell her that you enjoy her company. Explain to her that you have an attraction to her and that you care how she is doing, how she is feeling, etc. In the same sense, admit that you had an attraction to Katie, but that however is no more and is "soooooo 2 years ago."

Denying you've ever had an attraction to Katie will only make things more complicated. Just admit it and as I said, explain to Jen how you feel about her.

The most we can do is let our feelings be known. Other than that, there's not much else.

[post="13896"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

excellent advice.

our NOSSIE'S IN LOVE!!!!!! :P :P :P :P

dude, I'd do the jen bit. She seems to dig you, I wouldn't let the materialism thing be an issue. That wouldn't be an issue for quite awhile if you dated. And in the meantime you can enjoy her to the maxx.

or, you get naughty and try to date 2 girls and once and maybe even go for the trifecta. ok, maybe they are not into that. scratch that, walk before you run brother, and stick with one. Jen sounds like the bit. Edited September 14, 2005 by regfootball

[Chris_Doane]

And gay guys are supposed to be the ones with drama filled lives....?

[regfootball]

And gay guys are supposed to be the ones with drama filled lives....?

[post="13983"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

oh, 'they' don't post anymore here.

[z28luvr01]

oh, 'they' don't post anymore here.

[post="13987"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

Maybe you should take a look over here.

[NOS2006]

My life isn't too dramatic. Just have a few small, minor issues. I try to stay out of drama :)

[Sixty8panther]

If I was you I'd go with Katie... but I'm not and for all I know Jn could be really nice. I hate materialistic, shallow girls and even a twinge of that would turn me away form Jen. Just my $0.02

[NOS2006]

Okay I really don't think Jen's REAL materialistic. She works at Hollister (, Subway, and a VERY expensive restaurant - Mac n Ray's), so she wears all their clothes. She's just in love with expensive stuff, like Rolls Royces, Bentleys, Gucci, Armani, etc. She can't afford any of it, but she just has an expensive taste.. So I'm not sure that I could even call her materialistic. Anyway, today was much better for me. After school I didn't shun away and she was all across the parking lot as I yelled "Hey, Beautiful!" and she got a huge smile on her face. I then called her and asked her if she saw the hot ass girl in the parking lot. When she asked who.. you can guess who I told her lol. :)