Life seems to just pull people apart

[knightfan26917]

"Life seems to just pull people apart"

That's what a friend and former co-worker wrote to me earlier this week. She was lamenting the fact that some people she had gotten to know and had been close with ... now seem to be "lost in time". Sadly, I know exactly what she means.

I can remember friends in college, high school, grade school and even from just a few years ago, that, at the time, I couldn't imagine life without them. But now, I can only be a bit curious as to what they're doing now ... or even, for that matter, if they are alive. We've grown apart, not because we wanted to, but because life pulled us in different directions ... whether it be because of interests, or moves ... or, in some cases, death.

Perhaps my "pensive" mind is working overtime these days, but I get the feeling that people in general (not everyone, of course) does not quite realize how precious life is ... or how much people need people. Maybe my mood is caused by the closing of my church, which, in a way, has me feeling like I've lost my grandparents (mom's parents) yet again since my grandfather once pastored there. Maybe my mood is caused by the death of a long-time member of that church just this past Friday; an event that reminded me yet again just how many times I've said "oh, I'll see them again sometime soon" ... and then never do. Maybe my mood is because I'm frustrated with the company that owns my favorite baseball team ... which seems more attentive to making the ballpark look better than putting a quality team on the field. Maybe my mood is because I'm frustrated with my favorite car company. Maybe my mood is caused by the idea that I'm "missing something" ... just because society, in general, is focused on and based around couples. Maybe my mood is caused by the frustrations of a job I hate ... that seeps my energy until I don't feel like doing a dangum thing when I get home in the evenings; yes, I'm searching for a new job.....

When I was younger, I was NOT a people person. I was an introvert to the max. I read, played with my matchbox/hot wheels cars, wrote, and watched TV. The interaction I had was all at school or at church functions. Of course, this "introvertedness" was partly because of my heart issues ... which kept me out of the "traditional" sports and "nightlife" scenes that most high school and college kids experience. If was also partly caused by the cruelness of kids.

But, over the last number of years, I've come out of that shell ... and become a people person ... to the max. No, I don't go to parties and clubs and bars, but I do take my road trips and meet up with as many people as I possibly can. I meet people because I find that we tend to have more in common than just a shared interest in a group or message board. These commonalities, of course, form the basis of friendships, networking opportunities, etc. Yes, it's true that many of these people I see once ... maybe twice ... a year, if that. But, we know we have that friend or family member thinking of us "somewhere out there". I also post about my road trips [i recently posted about trips to IN-OH-PA-MI and AR-TX-OK-KS/MO-IA-WI as well as gathering possiblities in IL-IN-WI-IA-MI] because it is cool to put a face and voice to the name on the screen. One person commented that posting about those trips would be a field day for someone who wanted to assasinate me ... since they now know exactly where I'll be Aug 11-14 and Oct 11-17. Perhaps that person is right, who knows.

He he ... and mixed in all of this is the "urge" to get back on the radio, drive my Chevrolet Monte Carlos, find a woman with whom to share life (among other things ), find a job that suits me perfectly (which, of course, would include some travel, at least regionally) ... and have even more of a blast than I am now.

That is, if that's even possible .

Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker

MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/

"It's time to take a leap of faith" ... Steven Curtis Chapman ... 'Dive'

[NOS2006]

Cort, you're just awesome. I know how it feels to get down on life because of stupid things, many of which you just mentioned you're going through. Some of the things are different at my age than at yours, but many are similar, if not the same. However, I don't ever look at the bright side to things, so I don't get past them and I dwell on stupid things that should be left as they are or mended to be better. You're a good person for looking at the optimism through all this. Keep at it, man.

[razoredge]

As I ponder where that came from, I did enjoy it as I am a bit of a deep thinker myself. Loaner, intravert, dont like societies little cliques, ect. ect.

My recent turn of events. Most recent of which was loosing my very best friend, last month to cancer...........no not a human.........a four legger, a very special four legger. He spent his life teaching me things, seriously, the Inuit have a legend of his type of his breed. I mused after reading about the legend and thinking it described him to the T. They believe this type of dog to have powers like a Chamin (however its spelled) kinda like what our white settlers called (witch doctors) a very inaccurate term, they are just spiritual healers. Anyhow as I contemplated his life and all that transpired in ours during it and the fact that I would soon have to take his by my own call. I continously asked myself "what is this final lesson you are teaching my old friend ?" On our very last adventure together, one in which he was no longer with me, I realized what the lesson was........... I have spent the past month shedding myself of my piles of bagage. All the projects that simply were not going to get done, all the materialistic garbage that entertained my rediculous need to dream a dream. I'm getting my affairs in order because I now realize the lesson was.......... in the end, none of this matters. We become nothing more than a breath on a breeze, that will only, on occasion wisper our names to those that still remember us. Then one day they too will only be a breath on that breeze. Live it now before its gone, my friends !

[capriceman]

"lost in time"

177408[/snapback]

Like how you think Monte Carlos are the best cars every made. :AH-HA_wink:

Yeah I know what you mean.

I dream that i could just drift through life meeting people and be happy. But I cant. THe reasons cant be made public. but if your dieing to know just drop me a PM about this thread. I wont mind at all

[Sixty8panther]

I read, played with my matchbox/hot wheels cars, wrote, and watched TV.  The interaction I had was all at school or at church functions.

Replace "wrote" with drawing & legos and you've got my childhood.

I was not thrilled at being an only child, that's why I do not want

Sofia to be one either.

[knightfan26917]

Cort, you're just awesome.

*chuckles*

Thank you, NOS .

I know how it feels to get down on life because of stupid things, many of which you just mentioned you're going through. Some of the things are different at my age than at yours, but many are similar, if not the same. However, I don't ever look at the bright side to things, so I don't get past them and I dwell on stupid things that should be left as they are or mended to be better. You're a good person for looking at the optimism through all this. Keep at it, man.

Welp, I'm a trying, anyway. Believe me ... I'm not 100% on seeing the positive side of life. Too many times, I catch myself NOT seeing the positive side ... and then am quickly reminded of how I used to be ... and how I don't ever want to be again. Sadly, it's the stupid things that make the "not positive" side glaringly obvious .

razoredge,

I am trying to shed some of those piles myself ... can be very tedious ... and frustrating ... heh.

Like how you think Monte Carlos are the best cars every made.

LOL!

Well, they are .

And, while I can't say I'm "dying" to know the reasons, I am curious. If you want to share ... and/or need to share (i.e. vent), shoot me a PM .

Replace "wrote" with drawing & legos and you've got my childhood.

*snaps fingers*

Dangumit ... I knew I had forgotten something ... LEGOS!!!!!!!!! D'oh ... and model trains.

*shakes head*

How could I forget?

BTW, bud, not sure if you've seen my post about the trip to PA ... you and XP able to make a trip to Pittsburgh/Johnstown at all? I believe I've already given you my cell ... if not, it's in that PA trip thread .

*pauses*

And, for the record, I'm not depressed or down. I'm just ... well, melancholy, I guess. I know that there are a number of people that I'm going to miss during my trips this year (especially the one this weekend) ... either because schedules won't match up ... or because they don't know I'm coming (i.e. they haven't read the threads...*gasp*) ... or because time and distance won't allow it. This frustrates me to no end, because invariably, when I get back from my road trips ... and post about 'em ... I'll have a few people from each board that says, "you shoulda told me about it ... you were in my backyard practically!" Sorry, I can't PM everybody ... I can only do so much to get the word out .

*shrugs*

As I was explaining to someone else earlier today, I am much better than I was back in my "evil twin" days of a few years ago. Yet, I have my "melancholy" moments that seem to make people think I might be going back there.... Hmmm...not if I can help it .

[2005 EquinoxLS]

Cort I know all too well what you are talking about. I am a very introverted person for all my life not getting involved in anything or doing very much with people. It is sometimes hard being a single person in a world where as Cort said, where it is designed for couples. Single people dont seem to count or matter most of the time in this world. When you go out with friends at our age they usually have their girlfriends or wives with them leaving you to be the oddball. I agree too that the Monte Carlos are one of the great cars ever made and Cort deserves great credit in keeping his that way he does. A keeper of the flame. I am a lot better now though with my thyroid medication. I at least can communicate with people and have a bit of intrest in them. Though there is still a ways to go. I too have some friends that I was close to that I now wonder what they are doing. One I thought was my life partner but turned out in the end we just didnt have it. Now she is happy and has 2 kids. I think about that sometimes. With women if I didnt have bad luck I wouldnt have any luck at all.

Edited August 9, 2006 by 2005 EquinoxLS

[Halo]

Life is such a strange thing: you live your life in suclusion for such a long time, locked away in your room away from everyone else. But one day you wake up to find several opened photo albums on your bed and floor from the night before when your mom went through them, revealing pictures symbolizing your past and it's many, more simpler chapters. Then it hits you: "What am I doing?!" After that you try to make up for your lost time with your family and freinds but only to find most of those you had loved to be with as a small child are there no longer.

Your smiling aunts no longer have intrest in you because you are to old to tend to and uncles are usually working. Your cousins are grown into teenagers and have either moved away by that time or would rather spend time with their freinds and usually avoid you. And some aren't there at all to find but have passed on to a greater eternity leaving only a head stone and a grave. All you are left with now are those photo albums and those memories of childhood which are slowly rusting and fading. But still you press on in life; and keeping a lesson in mind: Time thrown away can never be regained no matter how hard you try.

[capriceman]

hope you liked that short novel i sent you

[knightfan26917]

I agree too that the Monte Carlos are one of the great cars ever made and Cort deserves great credit in keeping his that way he does. A keeper of the flame.

*raises eyebrow*

Wow ... thank you! I'm ... speechless.

But still you press on in life; and keeping a lesson in mind: Time thrown away can never be regained no matter how hard you try.

Amen. This is a very hard lesson to learn. Luckily, with my surgeries, I've learned it a few times ... heh ... sadly, I haven't completely learned the lesson in some cases .

And, capriceman, received it, thank ya . I sent you a PM back ... didn't have time for a long response, as I need to get to bed sooner rather than later tonight due to the upcoming road trip.

[2005 EquinoxLS]

*raises eyebrow*

Wow ... thank you!  I'm ... speechless.

Its true. You deserve a lot of credit. It isnt always easy to keep these old cars on the road. How well I know.

But still you press on in life; and keeping a lesson in mind: Time thrown away can never be regained no matter how hard you try.

Amen. This is a very hard lesson to learn. Luckily, with my surgeries, I've learned it a few times ... heh ... sadly, I haven't completely learned the lesson in some cases .

And, capriceman, received it, thank ya . I sent you a PM back ... didn't have time for a long response, as I need to get to bed sooner rather than later tonight due to the upcoming road trip.

178277[/snapback]

[NOS2006]

I need to get to bed sooner rather than later tonight due to the upcoming road trip.

178277[/snapback]

I'm bringing my buddy Darren, Ray's brother, to Pasquale's Sunday. Do you know if that's a fancy or expensive restaurant? I wouldn't want to underdress!

[zhawk]

I know where you all are coming from. I keep running across things at home that remind me of the people that I have known and may never see again.

I prefer to think on the richness that they have brought into my life. From the the friends I knew growing up and have never seen after my family moved out of that area to the people I went through Desert Storm, each of them has helped make me who I am today.

I grew up spending a lot of time by myself. It was just a fact of living out in the country. I am still somewhat a loner. I enjoy being by myself much of the time but I am very glad that I joined my car club. The people there are some of the best I have ever known.

[ShadowDog]

Reflection on life is probably the best way to hold on to memories and contacts. I was fortunate to have grown up with my friends from pre-school. To this day, being spread out over 1500 kms, we still manage to keep in contact, for the most part. Two of my closest are now beginning their family with the birth of their first child. My wife and I are now at that stage of trying. Even with the busy moments of every day life, there is always room to listen to how others are doing. I find myself more interested in the lives of people I know back home than of the people I am surrounded by every day.

I completely understand your point on having an introverted personality when growing up. I was the very same, preferring the company of my thoughts more than anything. I always had a lot to entertain me, growing up in the countryside, but the friends were always there. To this day, I still wish I was back in those days as a child. Everything certainly was far more wonderous and exciting.

I have a certain spot up on the mountain-side that overlooks our valley where I grew up. I would go there any time of the year to sit on the rock ledge and just take in the surroundings. It was probably the most peaceful and meditative states one could ever encounter.

In the winter, I would gather up my GT Snowracer and take the 45 minute hike up the hill with it slung on my shoulder. Whether by myself, or with a friend or two, I'd jump off that cliff in the snow piles for a bit, then race down the hillside at terrifyingly exciting speeds...sometimes crashing...sometimes hurting myself. I would give anything to be able to do that again right at this very moment.

There are a few friends I haven't been able to reach for some time. I managed to make contact with one of them, living in London at the moment. He was my very first best friend in preschool thru to highschool with his twin brother. He is problably the only one with the mindset to reflect with me on how things were; however, even his passion for life had probably clouded over what once was. Nevertheless, it's always exciting to get an e-mail from him about his new projects; his last one being on the figure-animation crew for Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

Others have gone the way of the winds. We're all so spread out that I find myself wondering if I'm losing touch with what is most important in life. My connectivity to those I grew up with is probably the most important aspect of my desire to keep the memories of my youth intact. I feel somewhat bummed that it would have to be me to take the initiative, once more, in keeping the contact alive; wondering if it's very important to them anymore, but that's a petty thought.

Sometimes it's best just to take the first step to setting up that network. It isn't that difficult to do, and can be quite rewarding.

[daves87rs]

Mmm..I think I too would agree with everyone....

And somtimes it can be be very hard to be postive at times....

And as stated in my last thread-Life can be a struggle....

I can agree with Cort of a few different and many) things....

I too watched watched my childhood church close..it was ver hard..no to mention a very beautiful old Church....

Regret for not doing something with some one......

I was supposed to hang with my friend with his soon-to-be-wife(and mom-she was

already a few months pregnant )

I was looking forward to being to best man....but I let work win again-as I has to work long shifts all weekend...I figured all would be well....as I was going to see them the following sunday.....

I never got that chance- that Tueday-A drink driver under underneath his Silverado with his Tempo....and flipped the truck upside-down-and slid into a

light pole...and promply blew up......I ended watching the whole family lid to rest,

intsead of a wedding and baby shower...I still struggle with it..

Sometimes I think I could understand how a person could stay negative......

But I remember just how important life is...

I would agree with the legos, TV, and writing,,,,just add G.I joes, Transformers,

and lots a baseball and sreet/ice Hockey....

[daves87rs]

Cort, you're just awesome. I know how it feels to get down on life because of stupid things, many of which you just mentioned you're going through. Some of the things are different at my age than at yours, but many are similar, if not the same. However, I don't ever look at the bright side to things, so I don't get past them and I dwell on stupid things that should be left as they are or mended to be better. You're a good person for looking at the optimism through all this. Keep at it, man.

177420[/snapback]

Agreed.

But you forgot to tell him how much MCs rock......

[daves87rs]

I'm bringing my buddy Darren, Ray's brother, to Pasquale's Sunday. Do you know if that's a fancy or expensive restaurant? I wouldn't want to underdress!

178297[/snapback]

That's on woodward, right?

*rubs tummy* Good food!

Just don't go naked and you'll be ok...

[the_yellow_dart]

Sometimes you just have to fight it.

One of my best friends moved to Vancouver Island in British Columbia.

To get an idea of the distance, imagine living in Detroit and having a friend in Seattle.

We cherish our time together now. She's come back to Ontario for two months to plan her sister's wedding and we have been spending as much time together as possible.

If this girl wanted more kids and still lived in Ontario I would totally be all over that. I don't even mind that she already has a daughter. Kid's 6 now, and is one of the best behaved 6-year-olds I've ever met. Circumstances being what they are though, she's out there, and wants to live her life after her daughter leaves the house. She doesn't want any more kids, and I want at least one child of my own. So, we are friends. Which is much better than nothing at all - and we still make it work across all that distance.

[NOS2006]

That's on woodward, right?

*rubs tummy* Good food!

Just don't go naked and you'll be ok...

178459[/snapback]

Yeah, it's on Woodward. Question, since you've been there.. will I break my 18 year old wallet?

[trinacriabob]

KnightFan:

Thank you for sharing those emotions which all of us go through and/or have gone through.

I know I feel bad that some people I really like have moved out of my life (usually it's caused by geographic moves, the passage of time and/or the fact that they married and began having kids). It's sad. Fortunately, I have a handful of friends that I've hung on to over the years and miles...I guess it's the realization that they really were good friends and can't be replaced... and maybe they feel the same way about me, like my best friend from college who lives in San Diego and another college friend who recently moved to Las Vegas. In fact, my friend from S.D. were talking about how, despite the fact that we went to a supposed well-respected Catholic university, many people there were basically jerks...I've actually met better quality people from public universities (and I'm not even talking about which religious sect they belong to, that's a moot issue) I've attended for grad school(s).

I was going to run a "similar" thread/poll I've been thinking about the last couple of days/weeks and think I will.

It's especially bad when you have goings-on like what's in the news today -- truly demonic individuals who place zero value on the sanctity of life. You definitely need to pray for this situation...that it abates.

Keep your chin up.

Edited August 11, 2006 by trinacriabob

[knightfan26917]

Glad I checked in one quick time before leaving for OH-PA-MI....

I'm bringing my buddy Darren, Ray's brother, to Pasquale's Sunday. Do you know if that's a fancy or expensive restaurant? I wouldn't want to underdress!

I don't know if it is a fancy place or not. If it is, I will be underdressed ... I'll have on a pair of jeans and a Monte Carlo T-shirt.

And, the more the merrier! Hmmm...speaking of which, any single ladies coming?

I may end up driving home yet Sunday night as I found out the people I'm going to stay with ... have to be out of town unexpectedly .

---

Hrrm...and I'm still hoping to see XP and Sixty8 (with the Oldsmobile?) and Oldsmoboi and others in the Johnstown/Pittsburgh area this Saturday......

I prefer to think on the richness that they have brought into my life.

*nods*

Perfect way to think about it .

And, reading through your notes, SD, dave, yellow & trina ... I'm glad I posted this. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights as well .

Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker

MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/

Models.HO = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/trainroom.html

"We've misplaced feelings that we used to know" ... John Berry ... 'Standing On The Edge Of Goodbye'

Edited August 11, 2006 by knightfan26917

[NOS2006]

Leavin' tomorrow, buddy boy?

[knightfan26917]

Leavin' tomorrow, buddy boy?

*nods*

About 5am ... so, I'm a heading to quickly check my other forums before catching something called sleep .

See you Sunday!

[NOS2006]

Yes sir, Sunday at 6!

[daves87rs]

Yeah, it's on Woodward. Question, since you've been there.. will I break my 18 year old wallet?

178568[/snapback]

Nope, it's about mod-priced...9-15 bucks for most of the stuff on there....

Lots of food though.

[NOS2006]

Sweet! Thanks for the info!

[knightfan26917]

Lots of food though.

...and delicious at that .

[daves87rs]

...and delicious at that .

180377[/snapback]

Yep.

[knightfan26917]

Yep.

*raises eyebrow*

Wait ... were you there, too, Sunday night?

Or, are you just agreeing about the restaurant?

[daves87rs]

*raises eyebrow*

Wait ... were you there, too, Sunday night?

Or, are you just agreeing about the restaurant?

180873[/snapback]

I wish- I need to meet up with you guys somtimes...

All My fellow MI'ers live on the eastside-I live on the westside...very strange.

Nope, just agreeing with the food...good stuff...was there a few weeks ago...

[76ChevyTrucker]

Hey Cort, as long as you can see the silver lining of the clouds even if a tornado is outside, you're doing well man. I've also had some time in the past two or three days to start wondering about my friends from school that I left back in 01 and the rest that I left when I completed my degree in 05. Part of me would love to go back to high school and do it all over again because there are definitely some things that I would change, but overall, I have to say taht I enjoyed my time, and the people I was able to spend it with. Good luck on keeping your head up and finding all the things your looking for. Just remember don't look too hard, because sometimes the things you're looking for are right under your nose, or maybe your Monte's.

[capriceman]

All My fellow MI'ers live on the eastside-I live on the westside...very strange.

180903[/snapback]

We fled from west for a reason. :AH-HA_wink: I used to be in Plymouth. which is considered West side. I just need to se water daily

[Camino LS6]

I close my eyes

only for a moment and the moment's gone

All my dreams

pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Dust in the wind

Don't hang on

nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

It slips away

and all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind

all we are is dust in the Wind

Dust in the wind

everything is dust in the wind

also made me think of:

I'm a melancholy man

doing what I can

All the world astounds me

but my feet are on the ground...

[Camino LS6]

and on a more uplifting note...

All my life's a circle

sunrise and sundown

The moon rolls through nightime

'til the daylight comes around

All my life's a circle

but I can't tell you why

The seasons spinning 'round again

the years keep rolling by...

and

I sleep

and I dream of the person I might have been

there I am free again

And I speak

like someone who's been to the highest peak

and back again

And I swear

that my grass is greener than anyone's

'til I believe again

Then I wake

and the dream fades away and I face the day

And I realize

that there's got to be some hero in me...

[capriceman]

".......a fool and his money go seperate ways...."

[knightfan26917]

I wish- I need to meet up with you guys somtimes...

*nods*

Yes, yes you do!

Hey Cort, as long as you can see the silver lining of the clouds even if a tornado is outside, you're doing well man.

Yes ... agreed.

Part of me would love to go back to high school and do it all over again because there are definitely some things that I would change, but overall, I have to say taht I enjoyed my time, and the people I was able to spend it with.

Same boat for me, too. In particular, I'd change being single ... well, if I could, anyway.....

*sighs*

Good luck on keeping your head up and finding all the things your looking for. Just remember don't look too hard, because sometimes the things you're looking for are right under your nose, or maybe your Monte's.

Thanks ... and I'll heed this advice .

And, Camino ... absolutely LOVE those song quotes ... glad you shared 'em!

[Drew Dowdell]

In particular, I'd change being single ... well, if I could, anyway.....

181382[/snapback]

We just need to get the forum fags to go Queer Eye on you and you'll be fine.

[Olds Guy]

I wish- I need to meet up with you guys somtimes...

All My fellow MI'ers live on the eastside-I live on the westside...very strange.

Nope, just agreeing with the food...good stuff...was there a few weeks ago...

180903[/snapback]

Actually, I just moved the other way 6 months ago.

From Mt. Clemens area to Ypsi-AA.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

[speechless.]

[mrmonte]

I dont want to butt in. but I think that alot of people feel this way these days with all the crap going on in the world and bad news you really need your friends and family around it helps alot. I try to make a point to call or email or at least send regards to all my family here and in Europe at least a few times a year it helps alot. As far as childhood goes it makes me feel terrible when you see something go away that was there forever and holds a lot of fond memories. Something as simple as a store closing or a neighborhood changing for the worst or just changing in general. Keep the faith guys.

[Guest YellowJacket894]

It's really not like that for me...$h!, I don't know.

[knightfan26917]

We just need to get the forum fags to go Queer Eye on you and you'll be fine.

*raises eyebrow*

Hmmm...dare I ask what ya'll would have in mind for me?

Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker

MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/

Models.HO = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/trainroom.html

"We all do the best we can" ... Blain Larson ... 'How Do You Get That Lonely?'