Ever been to counseling?

[usonia]

This is purposely vague, but I'm curious if anyone has ever talked to a couselor or therapist about anything? Did you find it helpful/useful? Was it worth your time? How did you go about finding someone you felt comfortable with? I'm not looking for anyone to give specifics. An answer in general terms would be appreciated.

[XP715]

Once when I was younger, my mother was convinced that I was some incorrigible douchebag and had no respect for her and every other thing that moms say about their sons when they're like 13, so she insisted that we go see a counselor about it. Finally, after much protesting, she made me go. So we go into the guy's office and my mother and I sit down next to each other in two big chairs, and after the standard simple questions he starts to get into the personal $h!. The very first question he asks me is "can you cite any major stresses in your life?" And I said "yeah, she's sitting right next to me." Needless to say the session ended up being very brief, and it was the only one we ever had. The subject never came up again, and I've apparently grown out of whatever stage I was perceived to be in. So yeah, I'd say it was extremely helpful.

[Newbiewar]

no... but i really ought to go... i have a lot of my past that needs to be let out...

[Sixty8panther]

Been there, done that.

In my opinion it's like 40% bull$hit & 60% therapy though just the

process of getting your feelings out. Me & the G/F are seeing a

family counselor right now once a week since we're at each other's

throats a little too much.

"No Honey, of course I don't love the Super 88 more than you"

Edited July 7, 2006 by Sixty8panther

[Bimmer325]

I haven't gone, but I'd have no problem with it if/when the time comes. If you're thinking about it, you really have nothing to lose. It always helps to get things off your chest, and I'd imagine we all have a lot to learn about ourselves. I'd be all for it.

I feel like I'd be more comfortable confiding in a female therapist, if that means anything to you.

[deftonesfan867]

I have been and probably need to go again.

[usonia]

XP715, that was a funny story and a good way to begin my Friday!

The whole idea of talking to a stranger about stuff weirds me out in general and I never even considered the question of male or female. That complicates things. This whole idea gets less appealing the longer I think about it.

[Dsuupr]

Yes. Marriage and abuse (from uncle). Both were helpful.

[Drew Dowdell]

I've been. I've battled the depression demon for years. I went to a therapist for about a year and every time I went, she'd increase my anti-depressents. I don't think she was very effective as anything other than a prescription writer.

Eventually the anti-depressents got so strong that I was in a fog every day. I would get lost at work <we only had two hallways>. I would get in the car to go someplace and forget where I was going. One time I was dazed and backed my car through a fence. All of that, and the depression was still there.

Over a particularly depressing christmas holiday in Miami, I was talking to my mom about my situation. She decided she wanted me to call my therapist and ask for another increase in the drugs. At that point I lost it completely. I resolved to never take another anti-depressant.*

I got back to Pittsburgh. Joined a gym and hired a personal trainer and began working out daily. I changed my diet to a much healthier one. We have very little sunlight here in Pittsburgh and sunlight is considered a treatment for depression. So I bought a tanning package and began going 2-3 times a week. I also made sure I got enough sleep at night.... which wasn't hard to do since I was working out daily, my body would force me to sleep.

After about a month of this, I felt better than I ever had.

My opinion? Therapists that simply prescribe drugs are quacks. If you go to a therapist and they suggest drugs in the first session, that should send you walking back out the door. Many times, sitting down and evaluating what you are doing to yourself and your body can be more revealing than going to a therapist.

*One should never quit anti-depressent drugs cold turkey. What I did was dangerous. Always consult your doctor before making changes to your drug regimen.

[Brandon Lutz]

When I was younger, my older sister tried to run away, well she hid in her friends attic all day to protest my mother punishing her all the time lol. Anyways, after this, one of my mothers nutball friends suggested that we go to counseling.

Now mind you, I had nothing to do with any of this. All I know was that I was at school that day when she "Went Missing" and a week later my mother, my sister, and I were all in a counseling office.

My often repeated question was: "How come I'm here? Because basically my days as a youth were happy ones and I was never compelled to run away or get into any kind of trouble. Yet somehow, some way, even though we were there because of my sister, the counseler decided to focus on me.

To this day I have no idea why, other than he was a crackpot P.O.S. who got his jollies off on picking on young kids. Instead of working on the issue of why my sister was acting the way she was, he turned all his focus on me. Convinced my mother I was a bad child because I didnt answer his questions with the answers he wanted to hear.

Before I knew it, my mother had given my sister all kind of privledges on the good "Doctor's" request and dumped all of her chores and now punishments on me. I had my allowance taken away, was forced to do all the chores Robin had to do along with my own, and basically I went from a happy kid who enjoyed life to a kid who struggled to convince his mother that this guy was a fraud and I was being focused on for no good reason other than he got a kick out of repercussions that were brought down upon me when I spoke out.

To this very day I can see "Frank" smiling that little &#036;h&#33; eating grin when would go into the counseling office, knowing full well that he was making my life a living hell.

It took me 2 years to convince my mother that there was nothing wrong with me and the person who was supposed to be counseled was Robin. She was the one that ran away, the one always in trouble, failing classes, getting suspended and etc. I was the one who studied hard and earned my keep.

The best day however was when I finally had enough in a counsel session, I got up and let my voice be heard. All of my protests that had fell on deaf ears for so long were heard in a pretty loud voice. It was soon after when we were pulled out of counseling. About 6 months after it was all over with, Frank lost his license. Seems I was not the only child from a family that he chose to attack in this manner.

So all in all, I depise counseling unless its over a real imporant issue such as actual abuse, severe depression, or something else of a nature that just cannot be solved with common sense. However, because of my experience, I have a distrust now of all counselors because of this. When people play with the mind, and use that skill to abuse others, they should be taken out back behind the whoodshed and given a proper butt whoopin.

My opinion on counseling is much like 68's, its mostly bull&#036;h&#33;. After the Frank incident, mother still had the notion to drag me and Robin to another one. This guy was also ineffective. More concerned about scheduling several visits to make a ton of cash to only say the same thing each visit.

So with 2 different counselors, I got two very different expriences. However both had the same end results: Waste of money, time, and total lack of anything constructive came out of the experiences.

However, thats just my experiences, take it with a grain of salt.

[Flybrian]

Once or twice when I was eight because my parents got divorced. It was a joke and I was fine, but the courts and all...

[Sixty8panther]

Usonia: That quote in your sig...

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

shouldn't it be:

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with sweet & sour sauce."

or

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with duck sauce."

[usonia]

Usonia: That quote in your sig...

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

shouldn't it be:

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with sweet & sour sauce."

or

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with duck sauce."

163765[/snapback]

Yeah, I suppose the chances of a dragon having ketchup are pretty slim! Actually, I didn't make it up. I read it somewhere and it made me laugh, so I borrowed it.

[trinacriabob]

Of all the posters, you get the most personal.

I can tell you this, though. The Strong Interest Inventory is a pretty darn good predictor used by the school system (h.s. through university or private counseling) for determining compatibility with a line of work or profession.

I can also tell you this: I like my "Vitamin Z" given to me by my internal med primary cary physician -- low dosage, that is. I've gone off it...I prefer to stay on it.

[trinacriabob]

Usonia:

One more thing....

Given your screen name, are you connected with/interested in architecture or are you a resident of the "prairie style" states in the Midwest? You do know what "usonian" means, right?

[sciguy_0504]

I have never been to counseling but over the last 9 months it would have helped, I think.

My sister needs the counseling much more than I do, though. Treats my family like &#036;h&#33;. It's all about her and her friends and when she does not get her way she explodes. My parents refuse to actively control her. They let her go out every night, little responsibility, no chores, etc. It has almost torn apart my family but no one else sees the problem. Then again, she is not on drugs, isn't a slut or an alcoholic but, IMO, she is way out of line and has been for some time.

Boot camp would help. I've threatened to call Mr. Povich.

[trinacriabob]

It has almost torn apart my family but no one else sees the problem.  Then again, she is not on drugs, isn't a slut or an alcoholic but, IMO, she is way out of line and has been for some time.

163996[/snapback]

Wow. And if they introduced a regimen or started up the discipline, just think how that could play out. It's like "give an inch, take a mile." Good luck going "backwards" with this kind of stuff.

I'm reading a lot of the dynamics here between my older brother and myself. (I take it you are older than her). He followed my parents blueprint and I refused to. But my stuff was more about picking which Catholic HS I wanted to go to, what classes I wanted to take, etc., etc. and not about partying, staying out late or avoiding chores. Except for the errant toilet papering and egging spree, I was a very good teenager. When my parents told him what to do (and they had no business doing so), he did it and resents me for telling them to 'eff off and doing what I wanted.

In fact, my brother's motto ought to be: "Oh, he does what he wants" referring to his married male friends who do what they want, despite the fact that they are married and have kids. I often wonder how miserable he is since he has caved in to being "PW'd" by his wife (a bitch on wheels), something that my father (when he was alive) marveled at and something my father effectively trained me never to be. LOL.

[capriceman]

I can solve my own problems. Even though I probably need Extreme amounts of consouling. But I see it as a waste of time and money when My own mind can solve my problems.

[Cory Wolfe]

Yes... and still am. It helps since I have no life.

[usonia]

I went back and read through this whole thread. You know, you guys are great!! I really appreciate your willingness to share some of your experiences. It’s good to have various perspectives about things.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess I’m skeptical about the usefulness of seeing a counselor/therapist. I don’t mean in general, but specifically for myself and my situation. Maybe it’s arrogance on my part, but I think I know myself pretty well. I know myself far better than a stranger could. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I can honestly say that I don’t like some of the things I know about myself, but I’ve never pretended they didn’t exist or that they were anything different than what they are. So, I find it especially frustrating that I haven’t been able to get a handle on this and take care of it.

I took the Myers/Briggs personality test years ago and it confirmed what I knew. I’m definitely an introvert. I am far more of a logical/analytical type person than an emotional type. I think I could easily take what is bothering me, push it aside and get on with things. The odd thing is, for some reason, the emotional part of me won’t let this one go and the logical part of me isn’t fighting it. This is a whole new situation for me. I’ve never had an emotionally dominant thing going on before and I don’t like it.

I can't say this hasn't affected me, it has, but it isn’t like it prevents me from doing my day-to-day stuff. I do find it annoying and unsettling. I’ve thought about it from all angles and I’m tired of thinking about it. I don’t even know how to explain it to myself so I know I wouldn’t have the patience to try and explain it to another person. I can just picture a counseling session where I sit there in silence for an hour because I can't tell them why I'm there. I hope something is happening subconsciously and I’ll wake up some morning and it will all make sense or go away.

* * *

Trinacriabob, you are right, I have no talent for it, but I do have a big interest in architecture. I don’t know a lot in general, but I do know a lot about Frank Lloyd Wright. If I ever win the lottery, I WILL build a prairie style house. I chose my screen name because I like the ideals behind the development of the Usonian homes.

[Croc]

I'm fairly well-acquainted with the MBTI (ESTP), but I find the Enneagram far more useful in determining/discovering internal thought processes and motivations. There are a lot of good books on the subject, though I particularly like:

Personality Types (Riso/Hudson)

Understanding the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

Good luck!

[evok]

I'm fairly well-acquainted with the MBTI (ESTP), but I find the  Enneagram far more useful in determining/discovering internal thought processes and motivations.  There are a lot of good books on the subject, though I particularly like:

Personality Types (Riso/Hudson)

Understanding the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

Good luck!

164226[/snapback]

Oh Croc - but I am I/E-NT-P/J

I used to have a boot leg website where people could take the test for free. I collected lots of data on may people.

Some interesting results.

Edited July 8, 2006 by evok

[usonia]

I'm fairly well-acquainted with the MBTI (ESTP), but I find the  Enneagram far more useful in determining/discovering internal thought processes and motivations.  There are a lot of good books on the subject, though I particularly like:

Personality Types (Riso/Hudson)

Understanding the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso/Hudson)

Good luck!

164226[/snapback]

I've never heard of this one. I'll have to do some reading. Thanks!!

[Croc]

Oh Croc - but I am I/E-NT-P/J

I used to have a boot leg website where people could take the test for free.  I collected lots of data on may people.

Some interesting results.

164255[/snapback]

You're exactly 50/50 on I/E and J/P????? Wow...

Not surprised about the NT part though...my best friend is an ENTP. Your online persona is very similar to his persona.

[trinacriabob]

You're exactly 50/50 on I/E and J/P?????  Wow...

Not surprised about the NT part though...my best friend is an ENTP.  Your online persona is very similar to his persona.

164395[/snapback]

ESTJ...time and time again

(Most people would read me like an "E," but I enjoy my own company and don't get close to many people so I wonder if I'm on the borderline of "I")

I am in agreement with the STJ part, though.

[evok]

You're exactly 50/50 on I/E and J/P?????  Wow...

Not surprised about the NT part though...my best friend is an ENTP.  Your online persona is very similar to his persona.

164395[/snapback]

I float on everything other than the NT. It all depends on what I am thinking at the time I take the test. I LOVE personality tests. Recently I was in training and took a version of the Enneagram test. And I scored what I would think the equivalent of an NT. I did find a link on the net after I researched your post and plan to take it again.

Oh mister Kiersey did not like my old web site.

Edited July 9, 2006 by evok

[Croc]

I float on everything other than the NT. It all depends on what I am thinking at the time I take the test.  I LOVE personality tests.  Recently I was in training and took a version of the Enneagram test.  And I scored what I would think the equivalent of an NT.  I did find a link on the net after I researched your post and plan to take it again.

Oh mister Kiersey did not like my old web site.

164408[/snapback]

What Enneagram type did you get? My thing about the Enneagram is that it is startlingly accurate. I've used it so many damn times to get to know people better than they know themselves.

If you haven't delved into it all that much, you'll love the Enneagram because of its complexity. I've been studying it enthusiastically for 4 years now and still haven't completely mastered it...there's always some new connection to make. It's one of those things where you first master the basic concepts of it, then master the nuances of it...but after that it's a "lifelong" process of honing the skills and perfecting it. Check your PM box.

[evok]

What Enneagram type did you get?  My thing about the Enneagram is that it is startlingly accurate.  I've used it so many damn times to get to know people better than they know themselves.

If you haven't delved into it all that much, you'll love the Enneagram because of its complexity.  I've been studying it enthusiastically for 4 years now and still haven't completely mastered it...there's always some new connection to make.  It's one of those things where you first master the basic concepts of it, then master the nuances of it...but after that it's a "lifelong" process of honing the skills and perfecting it.  Check your PM box.

164416[/snapback]

I am heading to bed. I got it and will reply. Revolutionary

[Nick]

I see a psychologist every other week now...Used to go more, and it used to be more therapy driven...Now that I am not so stressed/depressed anymore we mostly just shoot the &#036;h&#33; and talk. The only reason I keep going is probably because he is a cool guy and I enjoy talking to other people...I really don't get to do that much because I don't really know anyone.

[Croc]

The only reason I keep going is probably because he is a cool guy and I enjoy talking to other people...I really don't get to do that much because I don't really know anyone.

164448[/snapback]

If this weren't the therapy thread, I'd be giving you so much &#036;h&#33; for that line. :AH-HA_wink: Read it again, you know it sounds kinda funny!

[CARBIZ]

My mother packed me off to a psychiatrist when I was 9. I was acting up with my sister (getting her in trouble for stuff she didn't do) and generally driving my mother over the deep end. The doctor was a quack. He specialized in children's drawings (I drew a lot of girls and cars) and was also a "trail blazer" in sexuality. Ha! He told my mother that, amongst other things, I was definitely heterosexual. How the hell do you tell that from a 9 year old kid's drawings? The fact that I drew women and not men probably meant that I was IDENTIFYING with them, not wanting to sleep with them - hell, they weren't naked or anything. Mostly just face drawings. I'd love to look that clown up, but it was 1970 and Vancouver, so he is probably dead by now.

Then, when I was 16 and popped a lot of sleeping pills and ended up in the hospital for a few days, I was packed off to another doctor. This guy was worse. Get this: I had been living with my father for 4 years who was an alcoholic and who (when he found out I was gay) told me he was going to throw me out, etc. And my first ever "boyfriend" who was in two of my grade 10 classes suddenly got a massive case of the guilts and wouldn't talk to me any more. Yet this so-called doctor wanted to talk about my relationship with my mother and sisters. WTF? I hadn't lived with them for 4 years! I barely saw my sisters then! What the hell did that have to do with me ending up trying to off myself????

The real problem was that I was GAY, that my straight friends were sympathetic but didn't understand, that it was 1977 and Anitia Bryant was running around telling everyone that we were SICK, that my boyfriend (and we had done things at 16 that most married couples have never thought of!) wouldn't talk to me, and what I really needed was someone who understood, who felt the way I did, to TALK to.

Can a doctor help? Possibly. My experiences were bad, but then that was nearly 30 years ago and homosexuality had just been DECRIMINALIZED. Doctors still knew nothing about it then. I think a sympathetic friend can for further, and that advice is free. Someone who has already been there.