So My Boyfriend Is Moving In.......

[The O.C.]

My situation - abridged:

Meet guy online, chat for about two weeks, meet for coffee, then dinner. Great first date.

regular dating commences

after about a month and a half into it, we're heading to his sister's LaCrosse match and while I'm driving he takes out some chapstick, applies it to himself, then reaches over and puts some on me... I think it's super sweet and tell him I love him. Tears ensue.

He has no job, but has a decent savings.

Fast forward a few months. We're basically living together in my house and his apartment. He was in the army. He was deployed for 2 months. While away the lease on his apartment runs out. His roommates decide not to continue living there. Everyone parts ways. He has no place to go. His dad and I move his stuff into my house while he is deployed.

Fast forward 5 months: I lose my job but I've already started the real estate investing thing. I decide to do this full time. He still has no job.

He starts cosmetology school, funded mostly by the army and the remaining with student loans. This Iraqi war veteran <served in Iraq 20 months total> with a masters degree from an esteemed university wants to paint nails and cut hair as a career.

I support him throughout beauty school. I don't pay for the schooling itself, but I do pay for all living expenses.

I hit a rough spot with my apartment business. I tell him he either needs to get a job or help me out with construction work. He gets a job as a salon receptionist until he has his cosmetology license. I end up having to go back to consulting... I also get a job at a local home improvement chain to get the discount.

He finishes school and gets a job at a very high end salon. I get no help financially towards the running of the house. Around this same time the sex life dies. He claims it's because I'm not happy anymore. I'm working 80 hours a week minimum.

He becomes super secretive. Strange things start popping up around the house. They are "gifts from clients".

A few nights he doesn't even come home. He was "out all night at the bar...with friends" nevermind that he rarely drinks... and he can't remember which friends.

I figure out fairly quickly that he is cheating on me with a very prominent, 69 year old, fat, millionaire who used to be president of a very very conservative publication here in PGH which has direct ties to the outing and continuation of the Monica Lewinsky affair. He quickly finds out that people LOVE to talk and have given me all the details I ask for.

I try to drag us to couples counciling but to no avail. He's gone.

He moved into sugardaddy's mansion where he still lives. He was dumb and left a LOT of stuff behind...including things that are irreplaceable.

I've changed his name to Chas Nicole Smith. Many, if not most, of our friends, and even some of his, have shunned him for 1. what he did and 2. the fact that it creeps them out he's sleeping with a 70 year old fat guy basically for money.

The latter half of the tawdry affair finds it's way into the hands of reporters from a competing, liberal, publication.... though I have no idea how that happened.

About a week prior to my trip to Germany in August, he msges me on AIM saying "I really need to get my stuff back." This is 8 months after he moved out. Being involved in real estate I know the property abandonment laws in Pennsylvania.

My only response to him; "I mean this in the nicest possible way. Rot in hell."

And that is the last time we've had any communication.

WOW.....thanks for sharing.

It's scary how kinda my situation is starting out so similar to your situation (no job, living with me, not giving him money but paying house expenses, no apartment of his own, etc.)

I hope I have the balls to cut this thing off early......I just get so sad because I really care about him......but perhaps I just got so wrapped up in someone that I was really attracted to that showed me some interest and affection......

[The O.C.]

So yeah, I didn't want to inject my bitterness into the thread.

Some of us just aren't as aged.... er.... learned... as you Carbiz.

I don't see you as bitter at all......well maybe if I do see you as bitter, I also agree that you're deserving to be that way from what you went through.

Did I tell you all about the (what looked like a) hicky on his shoulder down a bit from his neck?

I saw this on him the first time he came down a few weeks ago when he was moving down. I don't KNOW it was a hicky, but it kinda looked like one. I noticed it after we had sex and I asked him what it was and where he got it.....and he said "...you gave me that hicky there tonight!" I don't ever remember kissing him/giving him a hicky in that spot, however......

Lord the signs are in front of me. Why can't I see them more clearly?

[Drew Dowdell]

I've hated myself for caring so long for someone who obviously did not care about me. It damaged me in ways that I'd rather not talk about in an open forum... not that I'm afraid to discuss them, but for most of the readers, it's just TMI.

Get the keys. Change the locks. Throw his &#036;h&#33; into a box.

[Drew Dowdell]

I don't see you as bitter at all......well maybe if I do see you as bitter, I also agree that you're deserving to be that way from what you went through.

Did I tell you all about the (what looked like a) hicky on his shoulder down a bit from his neck?

I saw this on him the first time he came down a few weeks ago when he was moving down. I don't KNOW it was a hicky, but it kinda looked like one. I noticed it after we had sex and I asked him what it was and where he got it.....and he said "...you gave me that hicky there tonight!" I don't ever remember kissing him/giving him a hicky in that spot, however......

Lord the signs are in front of me. Why can't I see them more clearly?

I'm not sure how much clearer any of us... or even your BF... can be.

[tmp]

I'm sad to read that this is where the relationship went for you O.C.- you certainly deserve better. But don't let it sour you on relationships in general. I'm sure there's someone out there for you.

The bizarre part is that it's just the secretive part that raises a red flag. There's nothing odd about showering and putting on cologne to visit a friend. I do it all the time. I suppose it's not so odd that this friend is such a new friend that he would need to use the nav system to find the address; one wonders that he wouldn't have used Google maps if there was a secret that needed to be kept about this friend. Innocent or stupid? I don't know.

In some ways he might be using you as a convenient way to start a new life in SoCal- hell if you offered me free room and board and sex on the side I'd relocate to the county too and take Metrolink to work. but at least I'd be up front about it...

Whatever happens, keep the chin up. You're worth more than that.

[Drew Dowdell]

hmmm maybe this is my big chance to move to So. Cal. and see what all the fuss is about. You up for it OC?

[The O.C.]

In some ways he might be using you as a convenient way to start a new life in SoCal- hell if you offered me free room and board and sex on the side I'd relocate to the county too and take Metrolink to work. but at least I'd be up front about it...

Got pics? Stats?

(LOL....j/k.....thanks for the comments.....)

[The O.C.]

hmmm maybe this is my big chance to move to So. Cal. and see what all the fuss is about. You up for it OC?

Sure.....at least I'll have someone that craves sex as much as I do......

Seriously though.....you SHOULD come visit sometime......with all the insane banter you and I go back-and-forth with, I bet in actuality we'd have a blast together.....plus I could show you around MY part of SoCal.....

[tmp]

Got pics? Stats?

(LOL....j/k.....thanks for the comments.....)

By the looks of it you could have a harem..

and I have a job, even.

[Drew Dowdell]

Sure.....at least I'll have someone that craves sex as much as I do......

Seriously though.....you SHOULD come visit sometime......with all the insane banter you and I go back-and-forth with, I bet in actuality we'd have a blast together.....plus I could show you around MY part of SoCal.....

I'm a cross between Judge Judy and Simon Cowell and Dr. House once you get to know me. So much so that I was going to dress as Dr. House for Halloween this year but decided against it. I lamented to a friend that if I had dressed as Dr. House, no one would get the reference. Her reply was, "What, all you were going to do was walk with a cane?"

[Drew Dowdell]

By the looks of it you could have a harem..

and I have a job, even.

He already has my pics.... well... most of them.

[The O.C.]

He already has my pics.... well... most of them.

You never told me where I could see the OTHER ones......I think a PM to me is overdue.....I'll be waiting....!

:AH-HA_wink:

[Paolino]

You never told me where I could see the OTHER ones......I think a PM to me is overdue.....I'll be waiting....!

:AH-HA_wink:

It's so worth it. SO worth it.

[The O.C.]

It's so worth it. SO worth it.

I FOUND them.......and all I can say is......"yummy, yummy, yummy to the tummy....."

[A Horse With No Name]

My two cents, men are biologically programmed to spread their seed to as many willing partners that will allow it, whether your straight, bi or gay, makes no difference, nature wants genetic diversity, that's why men are whores!

I used to be that way, but I've changed, honest!

+1

Chris

[A Horse With No Name]

O.C., Oldsmoboi, I am very sorry to see both of you guys go through this &#036;h&#33; and wish you both the best...

Chris

[The O.C.]

O.C., Oldsmoboi, I am very sorry to see both of you guys go through this &#036;h&#33; and wish you both the best...

Chris

Thanks!

<smooch> and <hug>

It will work out.....I just need a couple more days' to figure things out. But I can't afford to drag things out this time.